Logs:A Long Night
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| RL Date: 6 September, 2013 |
| Who: K'del, Tayte, Yvalia |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Tayte and Yvalia's first night alone back in their room is a rough one. Tayte calls for reinforcements. |
| Where: Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 23, Month 9, Turn 32 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Ali/Mentions, Estarra/Mentions, H'vier/Mentions, Jeyli/Mentions, Mikaelen/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated and played via gdocs. |
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| Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr The peculiar shape of this room suggests that it was unintentionally expanded, cement holding the ceiling together towards the peculiarly shaped alcove build into the back corner. It's larger than most personal quarters as a result, and though the uneven walls mean nothing sits flush, there's plenty of room for more than the usual amount of furniture. The larger lobe of the lopsided kidney shape that the room has might be considered a studio room. A large bed is tucked into the roundest part of the alcove, though there's a gap behind where the straight headboard does not meet the wall. It's piled high with furs and pillows. In this curve there's also a wardrobe, a dresser, and nightstands. Hooks extending from the ceiling over the dresser have been rigged with two layered chain-link that holds a number of bottles of alcohol of different varieties. The highest drawer in the dresser which is bizarrely the largest locks with a key. Opposite it, closer to the door, is a hearth that's had a throw rug and loveseat set in front of it, along with a few low tables. A set of shelves and a small desk sit opposite the curve of the smaller end of the room. Around the curve and into the little lobe, one finds a great change. There's color everywhere instead of the muted things in the front half. Scarves and streamers hang from little hooks installed in the ceiling, their lengths varying, and a crib is set up in the middle with two small boxes that have toys poking out of their not-quite-shut lids. There's a tall table stocked with all the tools a mother needs (well, those that are safe to be at toddler height) and a small dresser and wardrobe. The furniture is all hand-me-downs but in decent enough condition to make the occupants comfortable.
Or was it? Yvalia woke. And woke. And woke again. Each time calling for her mother. Each time wanting to know if she was okay, if she needed to run to get help. It was after midnight when Tayte faced facts: neither of them was going to get any sleep at this rate. She took Vali along with her to ask the watchrider to ask K'del to come down, but they were back, both curled in Tayte's bed by the time he arrived. Vali's drifted off again already, but Tayte waits, stroking her back and watching the door that she left ajar for the bronzerider. K'del is safely at home but thankfully not in bed asleep, when Tayte's message reaches him. It means it isn't too long before he's slipping in through the door and then shutting it, quietly, behind him. He's dressed down - his shirt untucked, his shoes unlaced, his hair showing signs of having been pressed to a pillow lot that long ago. The shoes get shucked off and abandoned by the door; from there, he pads across the kidney-shaped room towards the bed, expression serious and sad. "Everything okay?" Tayte's grace is slowly returning, having suffered some setbacks as her body made the necessary changes over the past few months, and she slips quietly from the bed when she sees the door open and K'del's familiar shape come through. The glows are dimmed to night-light conditions, casting shadows across Tayte's long silky nightgown. The attire is usual though, nothing special for the occasion. She meets him part way to the bed, keeping her voice a low murmur - since whispers carry more than low speech, and certainly perk more interest in little girls who should be sleeping. "No." But not as bad as they were the last time she summoned him in the middle of the night. "Vali keeps waking, worried that I'm going to need help, that she'll need to go for it." Tayte's hand moves, embarrassed, to tug at the end of her bedtime braid. The next thing is awkward. So awkward it requires an awkward pause, before: "I thought maybe if you came down and stayed the night, she might sleep through. I don't want her exhausted." Tayte lifts her worried eyes to meet his gaze, if he's looking. It is awkward, and despite his innate desire to be helpful, the awkwardness shows starkly in K'del's expression. Even so, he doesn't hesitate. "Of course. You... want me to sleep on the couch or something? Or I can spread out on the floor." He meets her gaze squarely, making no effort to hide his emotions, none of which are in any way surprising. Awkward? Oh yes. Wary, certainly. Worried about what is likely both Tayte and Vali? Without question. Only there isn't a couch. Just the little loveseat, which makes it all the more awkward. "If I'd known any of this was likely to happen, I'd've made sure we moved in a couch instead of that. I can curl up on it though, if you like," She's a good half foot shorter than he, not that she's petite either in height. And the floor is unarguably hard, being stone, "Or we can both be unsilly and awkward about this and sleep on the bed." Beat. "With Vali in between." Buffer. "And I won't tell anyone, and you won't tell anyone, and hopefully Yvalia won't tell anyone." And even if she did, Tayte's the only one likely to be in danger of having repercussions anyway since Vali hasn't come home with any stories about 'K'del's new friend'. She shifts awkwardly, even so. K'del exhales, though really, it's much more like a sigh than anything else. He's sat on that loveseat before; calling it a 'couch' was a reach, and even sitting up on it, there's no way he could realistically sleep there. "I-- right, of course. You're right. Silly to do anything else, and we're adults." They can handle this. He has certainly lifted his chin, determined... though one hand reaches out, aiming to touch her arm. "You're all right, though? Otherwise?" Everything might be a little awkward, even with them in agreement about sleeping arrangements, but she doesn't shy away from the hand that finds her arm. "We are." She agrees. Adults. They can handle this. She, too, looks resolved, but only for a moment because there's that other question. Her expression falls. "No, not really. I'm trying to be." She takes a slow breath, drawing it in and letting it out in a measured way that suggests it's resisting a more emotional reaction. "H'vier came down and stayed with me in Southern, and he didn't crowd me, but it didn't give me a lot of time to process on my own. And I'm not even sure that it's the kind of thing one gets over or gets to be alright about in -- well, really I'm not sure I'll ever be alright about it." It's all in low murmur, and then her hand comes up to gently cover his, and she asks, softly, "Are you okay?" From conversations they've had, she knows this issue on the whole isn't unfamiliar to the bronzerider, and worry creases her brow. The way K'del nods, it's obviously he didn't really expect Tayte to be okay - however he worded that question of his. He sucks in a breath when she turns that question back on him, turning his gaze away so that he can stare at the floor, instead. "Brings back an awful lot of memories," he admits, exhaling a ragged breath. "It's - shells, Tayte, I'm sorry. That you had to go through it. Have to go through it. Know it's going to be a long time before it gets easier, though it will. Io was still grieving, in a way, when she... when she died. So if you need anything, you tell me, okay?" That's the point when his gaze lifts back towards her, unashamed emotion visible in his expression. Tayte gently lifts his hand from her arm, stepping to close the distance between them. Her arms slip around K'del's waist, her face pressed to his chest. She's not putting the moves on him, not creating more awkwardness. For the moment, all of that is shedded in favor of seeking mutual comfort for pain that they both know intimately, in two different ways. She's silent, no answer for K'del's question just now. Just now, she's holding him. In reply, K'del's arms lift and wrap themselves around Tayte, just holding her close to him. In truth, he probably doesn't need an answer to that question, and nor does he push for one: he'll hold her for as long as she needs to be held, directing his bleak expression off to a distant wall. At least, this time, he doesn't cry. It would be a lie to say the embrace is brief. It goes on for some time, not changing in intent or feel, and Tayte not doing more than breathing quietly in his grasp. After a time though, her arms loosen and she steps back. "Kas." Now it's time for something else hard. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Her hands fidget with the silky material of her gown. "That I was leaving. That I was pregnant." Her expression is hard to see in the glowlight, but she looks pained. This is difficult for her. "I should've found a way. I just-- I didn't want you to feel like you had to be there for me. After everything. After I got you to--" Cheat on your new girlfriend? She can't bring herself to say it. Hopefully he knows what she means. "No, no, no," murmurs K'del, making an attempt at being reassuring. He gives her arm a gentle squeeze-- he hasn't let her pull away completely, even if he's no longer holding on to her. "Know what you did, why you did it. Not..." he pauses. "Not that I wasn't desperately worried, mind. But it's fine." Another pause. This time, he looks guilty. "Just don't hate me for going to visit your parents." "Yeah, about that," Tayte moves on from the apology. It's not that she doesn't genuinely feel bad about it, just that it's an uncomfortable thing, and it's easier for her to talk about what K'del done did wrong. "You know you provided my sister with the ammunition to blackmail me into having my parents meet Yvalia." Her arms fold across her chest now. Her voice stays low, but there's traces of annoyance in her tone. And, look: K'del does really look guiltily sorry about that. "You said 'family', and... they were the only ones I knew about. Had to try. Would you have preferred I just went 'oh well, guess I'll just wait until she comes back'? I was worried." But he's not - really - attempting to convince her not to be annoyed, and he does still look sorry. Even so, "Your father seemed nice. He seemed worried about you. He misses you." "But you went to my parents." Tayte protests, jutting out her lower lip. "I left you a note, I said I'd contact you. What did you think? That I was stealing Vali and running away for good?" She demands, but softly. "And then I had to see my parents, and explain, 'here's your granddaughter. She's four.' Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that was for me?" Not that the whole blackmail part was directly K'del's fault, but... The bronzerider's point about her father being nice, worried, and missing her is literally waved off. "Do I go visiting your parents worried when you swan off for sevens and I don't know where you are?" She points out. K'del's hand has withdrawn, now, and both of them are held behind his back, fingers tangling. "It felt wrong," he says. "And something was wrong, wasn't it? And... you took Vali, and yes, I was afraid. There were other reasons, too, Tayte." There's something pleading in his voice; something dark and unhappy, something he doesn't want to get into. "I was worried about you. Maybe it was the wrong thing, but by then? Shells. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but... how did it go, with your parents?" It's an abrupt change of course. "Fine, but that's not the point." Which means K'del's not getting out of it so easily. "I didn't, of course, tell them that I was pregnant, so I can at least spare them all of -- this." Tayte's arms fold across her chest and she gives K'del a good glare. He deserves one. "How could you think I'd take your daughter away from you? If I didn't when you hurt--" Me. "--my pride, I wasn't going to later. Shells, I've been fighting with my boyfriend about it for months now." Well, in those few moments where she bothers to bring it up anymore. "And that doesn't change it either." She lets her arms fall to her sides and she lets her shoulders rise and then fall in a quiet, but big sigh. "Just trust me next time when I say we'll be back, when I say I'll contact you. It's not like I've ever broken your trust." The look she gives him is even but pointed. This would probably all be much more dramatic if there weren't a dozing four-turn old nearby, as is, it's all very muted and might even make for a funny pantomime if they had an audience. 'Boyfriend' draws a wince, even though K'del clearly has no right to it. H'vier's identity probably has an awful lot to do with that, though. "I'm sorry," he says, in answer, running one hand through his hair. "It... it was bad timing. There was other stuff going on, and it just made me frantic. I'd rather know where you are, even if you don't want me around; that's all. Or tell me in person. That note... it did make me doubt." He's less emotional now, and far more tired, weary of his own role in this, but weary, too, of the unhappiness - even if he's well aware of his role in it. "I'm sorry." Tayte might argue more. There are more things she could say, but suddenly she looks exhausted. Who can say if she noticed the wince? She doesn't press for details about what 'else' was going on either. In fact, the battle seems to be over. For now. Instead she leans forward, reaching to follow his arm down and around his back until she finds his hand. "I can't talk about this anymore right now. Can we just be parents tonight and take care of our daughter?" Forget all that complicated stuff that is and isn't between them and all the grief still roiling around in Tayte. Her eyes cast toward the bed and the sleeping girl in question. His hand is easily drawn away from the other, his finger seeking to twine through hers. "Of course we can," he agrees, low-voiced and determined. "Our daughter needs us, regardless of anything else." K'del lets his gaze follow Tayte's, and now he takes the lead in stepping back towards the bed, towards Vali's sleeping form. Maybe a lot of stuff is messed up, but K'del? He looks at Yvalia with nothing but love in his expression. This isn't the only night that K'del is needed. Tayte and Vali give it a try on their own the next night, but K'del's called again, earlier. By the third, they've agreed to work with this arrangement for a little while and try to get Yvalia to sleeping peacefully again. In this time, old routines take over. They avoid talking about the painful things. K'del reads aloud before bed and Tayte knits. In some ways, it's nice. Late on the third night as they're falling asleep, carefully on their own sides of the bed, Tayte quietly expresses gratitude for his willingness to be flexible, and even admits that this routine-- this family behavior is helping her, even if she knows it can't last. She shushes attempts to answer. Talking about it, as far as she's concerned, will make it worse, because then she'll have to think about it, and says as much. So, hush. K'del can hush. It's better, when things are easier. |
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