Logs:A Turn In The Life
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| RL Date: 13 March, 2011 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: A turn in the life: turndays, relationships, proposals. And difficult decisions. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: From early Spring, Turn 24 - Day 12, Month 3, Turn 25 |
| Mentions: B'tal/Mentions, Delifa/Mentions, Delvana/Mentions, Leova/Mentions |
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| The tentative encouragements they gave each other finally turned in to something. The friendship blossomed, and, aided by regular letters, so did romance. Every time Varens arrived at the weyr, Madilla felt flutters in her stomach; every time she ventured to the Hall, she'd spent the hours beforehand in excruciating impatience. He kissed her under an apple tree in the orchard in early spring of turn 24; hidden by the leaves, she kissed him back, her first proper kiss since those first, innocent attempts so many turns before. Even then, they took it slow. It wasn't until early summer that she was spending nights in his bed - understanding, for the first time, why everyone took such pleasure in these things. Theirs was not a passionate relationship: they were neither inclined that way, content with the soft, gentleness that was in their natures. To be honest, though she would not have admitted it to anyone but perhaps Varens himself, she almost enjoyed sleeping curled up against him more than the-- well. The rest. She worried that Lilabet would end up thinking of Varens as her father; she knew that, if all went well, her daughter wouldn't remember a time before him. If. She tried not to count her eggs. But B'tal was still there, and she pushed that relationship: let her daughter have all of them. As many parents, or semi-parents, as she could possibly gather. It was hard, living across the continent from him. They visited as they could, and certainly, if dragon travel had been less available, it would have been worse. Still; quietly, she wished he'd request a posting to join her, even though she knew his work was at the Hall. It made more sense for her to move to him, and she... she didn't want to. High Reaches was home. Lily grew. She walked; she talked. She was a dreamer - inclined to toddle off beneath a person's notice, too quiet to draw attention until she wasn't there at all. She drove her carer half-mad, at times; "She just slips out, Madilla," Delinda complained. "And someone else will find her half an hour later, just watching people as she toddles through the caverns. She's a sweet child: it's not like she's deliberately naughty. She just... lives in her own world, I think." They hadn't much celebrated her first turnday - after all, she was far too young to be aware of it herself, no matter how proud her parents were. By the time her second came around, though, Madilla was determined to make something of it. Her walking, talking daughter was so big; so grown-up. It was an occasion that warranted celebration. "I never had turnday celebrations," she explained to Varens, was they lay in bed a few sevendays beforehand. His arm was wrapped snugly about her; she leaned in to his shoulder. "Not until I came to the weyr, really. Leova. And Delifa, too, of course: everyone made them special. But I'd rather Lily grew up with them from the start." Still, it was a quiet celebration, all told. Lily was more interested in poking fingers into her cake than eating it, and the presents might well have not been there at all. But Madilla felt her heart all but explode: it was what she'd always wanted. That night, she sat beside Lily's little bed, watching her exhausted daughter sleep with abandon. Varens wrapped his arm around her shoulder, watching. "Is it time," he asked, quietly, "to start thinking about a second?" It wasn't that the idea hadn't already occurred to Madilla, and it certainly wasn't that she didn't want another. Still, it surprised her, to hear it spoken so plainly. She turned her head to look at him, this long-limbed lover of hers. "We could try," she said, finally. "But visiting you all the time-- that makes things more difficult. So much Between." He watched her, serious and earnest. "Come back to the Hall with me, then. You could teach - I know for a fact they'd love to have you work with some of the younger Apprentices. It would be a good environment for you; excellent experience." Madilla swallowed. "But High Reaches is home, Varens. It-- I like working here. I like the work. Lily's father is here. All my friends." "They could travel to see you. I'd be very surprised if B'tal wasn't willing to visit; your other friends, too. And you could still work in the infirmary at the Hall. Faranth knows we've plenty of patients for you to attend to. I want... I want to marry you, Madilla. I want to wake up each morning next to you, and I want to raise our children together. Please." He'd reached for her hand during that speech, and she let him take it, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "Oh, Varens," she murmured, trying - and failing - to put all of her thoughts into words. "I want all of that." "Then you'll marry me?" But she could only shake her head. "I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to leave her; I don't know if it's right, yet. I need to think." It was obvious that she'd disappointed him; that he'd expected an instant 'yes', and that all of this surprised him. But she couldn't think of anything more to say: she just couldn't. "I will think about it. I will." Long after he'd fallen asleep that night, she lay awake, her mind awash with emotions. |
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