Logs:An Awful Couple of Days
| |
|---|
| RL Date: 1 November, 2009 |
| Who: Kash |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Bad things. |
| When: Day 15, Month 1, Turn 21 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Isobel/Mentions, Phara/Mentions |
| It was an awful couple of days. Isobel left, and probably that wasn't unexpected, it was just... not something that helped anything. Kash was moody; it wasn't that she had the other girl saw eye-to-eye, so much as she'd been... a friend? Sort of. Somehow. It had been enough, and now she was gone. Then Phara died. And it wasn't as though she'd known the bluerider as well as all that, really, just a few meetings here and there, but... she had known her, and the bluerider was dead, and she was dead because she'd been pregnant. Like Kash was. She hadn't been so much older than Kash was. She hadn't seemed unhealthy. Kash was frightened by it, by this possibility. She'd spent so much time, now, framing her life in terms of 'before the baby gets here' and 'after the baby gets here', and it had never occurred to her that she might not get an after. That people didn't always survive. And there was Kas, who had known Phara, and who'd cared. Who'd slept with her, obviously, and... she'd been the one to tell him, and it had hurt like nothing else to watch his reaction. They'd cried together, him holding her tight to his chest, her burying her face into him. A handful of days later, the eggs hatched. Kash watched, staying far to the back of the galleries, avoiding the gaze of anyone around her. She was more obviously pregnant now, her dresses from home handed back in for something more roomy, and she felt on display, even though no one was watching her. She watched the hatchlings, and wept her own silent tears at everything that could have been. She felt the bitter knot of jealousy at most of the Impressions; she didn't hang around afterwards, hurrying indoors before the storm got too bad. Which, she wondered, dully, as she walked back to the dorms, might have been hers? Would one of them have chosen her instead? Jiella's? Dashaya's? Someone else's? She couldn't imagine it. Somehow, that made it better: it was done with, now, and maybe it would have been different, but they all found someone, they were all with the right person. The right person who was there, true, but still... it was right. There'd be other chances. Other opportunities. And in the meantime? She was nearly halfway through a pregnancy, and there wasn't much to be done about that, except get it done, and get it done as well as she could. It was a weyr: there was nothing stopping her from having a life again afterwards. And if she'd managed half the pregnancy so easily, she could manage the other. (Half the pregnancy? Half? Had it really been that long since she had Kez had lain in each other's arms back at Tillek? Even that visit to Boll on that fateful day with T'rev hadn't... they'd talked, that day. She missed him. She'd've done almost anything to be back with him, that night. She was glad he hadn't come.) It was a determined Nakasha that turned up for her duties the next day, dry eyed and calm. She'd make it. She was going to be fine. She'd have to write to Isobel. |
Leave A Comment