Logs:Anxious
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| RL Date: 16 June, 2015 |
| Who: Nala, Aislara, Jynth, Ryerith |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Aislara isn't feeling well, but insists she doesn't need to go to the healers. Until she does. |
| Where: Sanctuary, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 6, Month 1, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Lilah/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Potentially upsetting themes. |
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| Aislara's pace throughout the caverns is slow, her face twisted in a thoughtful frown as she absently navigates around those milling through the interior of the Weyr. She heads into the Sanctuary hoping to find quiet within that doesn't require Ryerith's assistance to take her back to their weyr. She enters and finds it empty, save for a plate of cookies that have been a favorite of hers recently. She leaves them on their plate and goes to lay down on one of the couches instead. Her jacket is tucked in close against her body as she tips her head back to look up at the ceiling. To say that Nala has been stalking Aislara is not quite accurate, yet she has been trailing her for a little while at a distance, but when the trail leads from caverns to bowl to caverns and to what's essentially an end of the maze, she leaves her to a few minutes to herself before she moves through and into the Sanctuary. She's more interested in the cookies than the greenrider is, if not for her own sake, and collects the plate on her way past to Aislara's couch. "You need to eat," she declares, as she sets the plate on the floor, within her reach, and inches her own way onto the couch, to curl warmly in against her without wondering whether she's welcome. Aislara glances towards the entrance as Nala makes her way inside and twitches a smile at the bluerider as she continues to follow her trek across the space. Her nose wrinkles at the cookies and she shakes her head, "I can't. My stomach isn't feeling right today," she counters to that declaration. Her body shifts to make room for Nala and she snuggles in against her. "It hasn't been right for a few days. I wonder if I ate something bad? I'm eating things I'd never have imagined before. I like..," she whuffs a soft laugh against the top of Nala's hair. "Smoked and salted fish all of a sudden now. I never would've touched it before." Her arm moves around Nala to keep her on the couch, "Aren't you busy today?" she queries. "Then we will have to find you something to drink that has enough in it to keep you going," Nala quietly insists, almost purring as she nuzzles against Aislara's neck. "You cannot just say can't. Even if I definitely will not be joining you in seeking out any fish." It's not quite a smile - it never really is - but her lips curve against skin. "Maybe your stomach is not so happy with you for subjecting it to new things. Perhaps it just wants cookies." She's of no amorous intent, but she does ghost her lips across her collarbone. "...I did my sweeps," she murmurs. "Jynth insisted upon dragging a holder girl to the barracks, and now I am here." "I don't know," Aislara sighs, "the idea of anything going in right now makes me queasy. I thought it'd get easier, not harder, with the nausea. I puked twice this morning. I was fine last few sevens.. I'd come in here and I literally would eat all the cookies. I couldn't help it. Now the idea of them or anything..," she shudders against Nala as she brushes her hand down the bluerider's back. "I just feel.. off." She pauses, thinking and then asks, "Another girl? That's good. I think we've got a good group of candidates, at least the few I've met. Those that Stood for Elaruth's clutch are still shaken up about the green." She pauses, frowning as she tips her gaze towards the ceiling once more. "I almost feel like some of them feel guilty about her loss. It was no one's fault." Nala props herself up on one elbow so that she can look down at Aislara, eyes narrowed a touch. "...If you are truly not feeling well, you need to go to the Infirmary," she tells her. "Just not eating or drinking anything is not going to make anything better. It will make it worse." Rather than keep studying her, she settles back down and drapes an arm across her, fingers curling gently at her far shoulder. "There is no knowing if she would have found anyone, even if anyone had done anything differently," the bluerider considers quietly. "Her person might not even have been born yet. She might have hatched against the odds, for all anyone knows." "I can't keep running to the Infirmary every time I feel off," Aislara replies, laying back more comfortably into the couch with Nala draped against her. "I've gone a few times and I keep getting told it's normal. I'm being overly anxious. Or at least that's how I feel.. they must be tired of me." She trails her fingers along Nala's back idly, comfortable in the closeness and the general quiet of the space they are sharing. "That's how I feel, on the green. This next clutch, well, it's highly unlikely to happen again." She presses her lips down against Nala's head and then grows silent, content to drift her fingers along the bluerider's body. "Yes, you can, and no, they are not," Nala replies, as if she can speak for the healers themselves. "And who cares if they are? They are supposed to do their job. Their job is to look after people and you say that you feel unwell." She tips her head back a little to touch her lips to the underside of Aislara's jaw. "I think you must know by now that I might just go and bring them to you if you continue to worry about their feelings more than your own." And evidently she's not above attempting emotional blackmail either, for she murmurs, "I love you and I want you to go to the Infirmary. And then I can take you home and look after you, and Jynth and Ryerith can hide from the cold in a blue-green tangle." Aislara shakes her head and sighs, "Not just yet, Nala. This is the first time I've felt good today. Everything's settled. I'll go later." She doesn't promise to do so or apologize for not acquiescing to Nala's request right at this moment. "Maybe you can take me home instead? Ryerith is asleep up in our weyr, I didn't want to wake her. That's why I came here. I also thought cookies would make a good distraction and felt different about it once I was here." She grows quiet then, pensive by her own fears until she shoves it all aside to focus on Nala. "Are things well with you and Hematite?" she asks, all of a sudden, "I've been distracted lately and hadn't thought to ask." Nala doesn't seem convinced, yet, for the moment, she just keeps herself wrapped around Aislara, head resting against her shoulder. "I can take you home..." she softly agrees, notably not 'instead'. "You do not need to ask about them," the bluerider insists, closing her eyes. "I turn up for drills and duties, and that is about it. I suppose I used to care whether they thought well of me, but I cannot bring myself to anymore. Whatever they thought of me before, even if they thought I was any good, I can only assume I am the wing fuck-up now." One shoulder twitches. "Who cares? I did not want what they wanted for me. Some patronising thing to shut me up." Another twitch. "Things are better with Lilah. That I care about." Aislara listens to Nala's explanation with half-attention, the other half of her attention pulled somewhere else as her body slowly begins to tense. "Ah," she manages, shifting on the couch to move to a seated position. "I wish you could find some friends again in there," she tells her, wiping at her brow briefly and then she manages a smile for Nala's last. "I'm glad things are better with Lilah. She could use your friendship." Something causes her to wipe the smile from her face as she reaches for Nala's hand. "Maybe I'll go to the healers, Nala. I feel like I'm going to retch or worse.. I don't know." "I have never been good at making friends," Nala murmurs, burrowing her face into the crook of Aislara's neck. "...Not friends I was not made to make, any--" All tension, she immediately lifts her head at the word 'retch' and stares down at her, gaze darting along the greenrider's body, yet she attempts to avoid staring at her most obvious concern. "I could get--" she starts to say, only the moment she begins to move away is the moment she darts back and hands reach to support without applying pressure. "Okay... We'll go. Don't move too quickly. You'll feel worse." Her usual, clearer diction abandons her as she watches her, composure maintained but for that and her too-wide eyes. Aislara rises and heads towards the door, feeling the urge to run but holding it back as her body demands she slow. "Okay," she says, and continues to repeat a small litany of, "Okay. It's okay. It's okay." She leans more and more heavily against Nala as they head towards the Infirmary, fear clearly clouding her features as they head within. Her growing discomfort and fear reaches the slumbering Ryerith and the green rouses with a snap of thought towards Jynth. « This does not feel right. Is it right? » she heads out of her weyr and moves down to the Bowl to hover outside the Infirmary as the healers move forward to begin caring for her rider within. Whatever the blue's answer is, she'll wait where she is no matter the weather. Jynth doesn't remember. But Nala does, all too well. « ...No. » And so he'll wait, with Ryerith, and endure the winter weather, whatever it may bring... and whatever happens within the cavern to which their riders have fled. |
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