Logs:Broken Hearts
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| RL Date: 4 April, 2011 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: An ending. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 25, Month 5, Turn 25 (Interval 10) |
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Before she managed to finish the thought, there was a knock on the door, and, a moment later, Varens himself was striding into the room. He wrapped his arms around her; he kissed her. "You made your decision," he concluded, as he draw away, watching her expression. "I knew you'd get there. I just had to be patient." She draw back, pulling out of his embrace, though it was the last thing she really wanted to do. She felt safe in his arms - and she feared what she was doing. "No," she whispered. "No? No what? What is it, Dilly?" "My answer. No. I can't marry you. Not if it means I need to take Lilabet away from her home. She comes first, Varens. She always will." His disbelief - his shock - was like another person in the room, hovering heavily over everything. He stared at her, utterly dumbfounded; she felt tears well up in her eyes. "You're saying no." "I am. I have to - can't you see?" "No, I can't. I can't. What are you saying? That you don't love me? That you don't want to be a family?" "No." She felt the word catch in her throat, and had to swallow hard before she could get any more out. "I do love you. I do want it. But not if it means taking Lily away. If it were just me, it wouldn't matter so much, but Lily... she belongs here, Varens. This is her home." "So... what?" He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her with an expression so hurt that she wanted desperately to wrap her arms around him and promise him anything. Her heart hurt; it ached. "What now? We just go back to how things were? I don't want that, Madilla. I want a family - and I can't do that like this." She shook her head, and felt the tears begin to run down her cheeks. "We can't. I don't see how we could. The answer would always be the same. You need us to live together, and I need to stay here. It doesn't work; it never can." "Then... that's it, isn't it? It's over. You don't see a future for us. You chose Lilabet over me. Over us. Over the life we could have had - the children we could have had." He was angry - she could see it, hear it in his voice. But mostly, she suspected, he was sad. He really does love me, she reminded herself, as her heart broke, silently, deep within. "She has to come first. I'm sorry: she has to." Varens stood, staring at her. "Then you should have waited. Why couldn't you have waited, Madilla? A turn. Less, probably. But you had to go and have her." She reached out to try and stop him, as he launched himself at the door. He brushed past her, ignoring her as she begged him to stay, to listen. After he shut the door behind him, she sunk down to the ground, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, rocking back and forth. You had to do it, she told herself, willing herself to stop crying. It couldn't work. It would have been the wrong thing for Lily. It wouldn't have been fair. It was all true. But that didn't stop her from staring at the closed door, and wishing that - somehow - Varens would walk back in, and they could make things okay, and everything would be fine. The door remained resolutely closed. |
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