Logs:Facing the Family
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| RL Date: 12 April, 2009 |
| Who: K'del |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: K'del faces his family, and frets some more. |
| Where: Tillek Vinehold |
| When: Day 14, Month 6, Turn 19 (Interval 10) |
| He didn't show up to his belated birthday dinner at the family home, of course. It had been far too long a day. K'del wasn't sure how to go home. He found he couldn't cope with the idea of talking about it, of dealing with their - their what? That was half the problem. He had no idea how his family would respond. How he would tell them. What to expect. So he stayed away. For the first time since his childhood, he found himself wishing desperately for a hug from his mother, who had always, once upon a time, made things all right again. He hated himself for it; what kind of a person got into this situation, and then moped around, wishing for his mother to come comfort him? And while that first few days weren't so bad as they could have been (not that they were good, either), the feelings of dread did not diminish. He held out for a seven, and then, it was too much - and he went home. It was evening, the first chance he'd had to get away all day, and the butterflies in his stomach were flapping around as if in the middle of a thunderstorm, churning his gut into an ocean of panic. The look on his mother's face when she opened the door, the way her eyes went straight to his knot, and then her face went pale, was enough to make him want to cry. And then she hurled her arms around him, shaking her head. "You stupid boy. How could you have been so stupid?" So he cried. And so did she. Later, they sat around the table - his mother, his father, his eldest brother, his sister; his sister-in-law looked like she intended to stay, but his mother sent her off to look after the babies, and his other brother absented himself without hesitation. They asked him what happened; he told them, relating every detail, dry-eyed again, though his hands remained clenched in fists. His father: "The news spread, that there was a new Weyrleader, and they thought his name was K'del, and the neighbours were asking - isn't that what your Kasadel is called now? But we thought... it couldn't be. He's too young. It would never happen." K'del looked rueful, uncomfortable. "Not supposed to happen. Wasn't supposed to happen. Should've stabbed myself, too." "Or just come home for your turnday, like we wanted you to." Nakasha. It was hardly something he hadn't thought of himself, these past days, bitterly. The trouble it would have saved! But his mother quelled her with a glance, shaking her head. "Too late for that, now. Well. Kas. It's not as though we're not proud of you, proud to have raised the Weyrleader of High Reaches. But... for your sake. And theirs, frankly... Oh, it would've been better if it had happened ten turns from now." K'del could only nod. Shells. What a mess. What a stupid, fucking, outright mess. Later, he and Cadejoth flew for a time before making the jump home. He leaned in to the bronze, pressed his face down against a bone-pale neckridge. What're we going to do, Cadejoth? « Whatever we need to. They're our pack, now. Our responsibility. » And though the bronze tinged his thoughts with a note of apology, his intent was clear: he was going to do his job, lead his pack. And so should K'del. K'del faltered. "But I don't know how. Cadejoth-- I'm only seventeen. I'm going to be younger than most of the candidates." There was a ripple of pleasure from the bronze: baby-Cadejoths! "Who'd listen to me?" « You're the Weyrleader. They'll listen. Like we all listen to the queens. » But K'del doubted that. Not after this seven. Not... People aren't like dragons. They won't listen to me. They don't. Why would they? Riders who've been riding for longer than I've been alive! I'm just some upstart kid to them. « Then prove it to them. You're mine. And I caught the senior queen. » Pride. So much pride. Look at me, doing something good! « So you should prove that it was what was supposed to happen. That we are right for it. » But... it wasn't supposed to happen. They're pissed. And we weren't supposed to chase. We agreed! But the bronze was impossible to curb; K'del could feel the pride, the delight, the pure and unadulterated affection for his mate. « I caught her. So we will have to learn. That's all it is, K'del. We're going to learn! » And that was all there was to it. K'del was not convinced. |
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