Logs:Flying Without Straps
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| RL Date: 22 March, 2010 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Madilla angst! |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 15, Month 4, Turn 22 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: B'tal/Mentions, G'brion/Mentions, W'chek/Mentions, Z'yi/Mentions |
| It didn't take genius to work out that the half turn Delifa had made Madilla agree to had passed... and there was still no baby for the healer. No pregnancy. No... nothing. If anything, she was further from it than she had been in the autumn. Madilla hadn't spoken to W'chek since that day; it hadn't been intentional, at first, but later, as the rest of it became clear - what her actions had done to B'tal, Gabrion - it became deliberate. She had nothing to say to him. She cared about him, but this... she couldn't support this. So now what? Z'yi? She'd enjoyed that dinner with him, liked the bluerider a lot. Something made her hesitate, though. It wasn't that she thought it was a bad idea - though B'tal's discomfort with the idea did make her pause - so much as... If it wasn't going to be W'chek, who, after all, had so few opportunities to make this happen... why shouldn't it be someone who wanted her. She was, though she hated to admit it, disappointed that the bluerider's motivations had been more practical than romantic; it bothered her, somehow, to feel like this. Wasn't she supposed to be the practical one? Why should she care, as long as she got the baby she was after? It was all hopelessly confusing. Deep down, she wished someone would just make the decision for her, make it happen. That's something she'd liked about being with W'chek: there'd never been decisions for her to make. She'd never even had to make the decision to break it off with him. It had all just... happened. Why couldn't everything just happen? Deep down, Madilla was afraid. She felt like she was flying without straps, and it wasn't even her dragon, determined to protect her at any cost. She was alone in this whole world... and she was supposed to make the right decisions herself. How did people do it? How did they ever manage to make the right ones? |
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