Logs:Foiled
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| RL Date: 28 March, 2013 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Madilla finally puts her plan into action. It fails. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr / High Reaches Hold |
| When: Day 11, Month 5, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Devaki/Mentions, Dilan/Mentions, Leova/Mentions |
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| The decision had been made, and yet, Madilla held off. She carried it with her: a sick feeling in her stomach, something that flared up whenever she let her thoughts return to it. Most of the time, she ignored it. She'd go... soon. She'd tell him... soon. She was avoiding it, and she knew it. She felt guilty for it. She also didn't tell anyone. Mostly, she tried to avoid wondering why she was so reluctant to do so. Leova already knew the truth (probably?); she could tell Leova, and there wouldn't be the whole other conversation to have first. But she didn't. She didn't want to explain why she had to tell him. She found she didn't want to think about what people would say, in general. Or what they'd think. That bothered her, too. She wasn't ashamed of Dilan's origins. She'd done nothing wrong, not by any reasonable standards. And yet... it was such an awkward thing. Nearly five turns ago, I spent a single evening with a man who disappeared the following day, and thus became a suspect in the murder of a woman, which rather makes me his alibi, and then I found out I was pregnant but didn't tell anyone because I couldn't tell him and I was afraid. It sounded awful. And she was afraid of what Devaki would say. How he would react. She couldn't tell him, when she didn't know where he was, but once she did... And now she'd kept it from him. Kept his child from him. And deep down, she still wanted to keep his child from him. She tried not to think about it. There was always something else she could think about. She dressed carefully, fingers shaking. She dressed professionally: clothes for meeting with dignitaries, for formal meetings. She'd not had much opportunity to wear them, for they certainly didn't fit with her standard daily duties, and they felt uncomfortable... but perhaps that's because she felt everything, today, as if every nerve was hyper-sensitive. The rider available for transport duty was not a woman she was especially familiar with, thankfully. That's what she wanted: no one who knew her, who might guess or think or wonder or... Boreal - not one of the recent revolutionaries, but a bluerider, Elsa, who seemed professional enough. She was happy to take Madilla to High Reaches Hold, and happy enough to wait for her after they'd confirmed that Madilla would not take long. She had to take several long, deep breaths before she could approach the guards and ask to see Lord Devaki. It was anti-climactic, really: "Lady Issedi and her husband are not in residence," the guard told her, formally. Madilla had to stop herself from crying in frustration. She'd spent so much time steeling her resolve for this, and now... The guard took one look at her face and seemed to find some sympathy. "They're at Tillek. A person hears there's talk of a marriage between... someone or other. Important someones. Maybe it's his cousin? Dunno. Be a good thing, having close ties. Holds gotta stick together." Holds gotta stick together. Something in that worried Madilla, something she couldn't quite put her finger on-- besides, it was hard to think straight, so frustrated and disappointed she was. Should she go to Tillek? Should she wait? Elsa gave her the side-eye when she was back so quickly. "That was quick." It was the work of a moment to pass on the information she had, information that might or might mean something. Somehow, at the moment, it didn't matter that she was admitting she had business with Devaki or his lady. She was trying not to think too hard about any of it. Hadn't it so often been easier to worry about other people and their problems, instead of her own? She could feel her resolve slipping. Devaki could wait. What difference would it make? A little more time. Just a little. |
Comments
Hana (Hana (talk)) left a comment on Thu, 28 Mar 2013 15:15:08 GMT.
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Oh dear....
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Thu, 28 Mar 2013 15:38:07 GMT.
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Oh sh--
That is the worst feeling. Dreading something for hours, days, even weeks and then when you finally build up the courage... life denies you. Poor Madilla.
K'zin (Wakizian (talk)) left a comment on Thu, 28 Mar 2013 22:23:00 GMT.
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At the edge of my seat. The whole time. Awesome. :D
Devaki (Devaki (talk)) left a comment on Tue, 02 Apr 2013 07:35:18 GMT.
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Holds gotta stick together.
That guard is getting a brofist when I get back.
<3 poor Maddy. No more dressing Dilan up in dresses >.<
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