Logs:Ghena's Version
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| RL Date: 20 December, 2013 |
| Who: Ghena, Telavi |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: The morning after Ghena comes home crying, Telavi runs her down. |
| Where: Bowl, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 2, Month 8, Turn 33 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: A'rist/Mentions, G'laer/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Backdated! |
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| Ghena felt awful, Most of the weyrlings were still sleeping but she'd been laying awake for a good solid hour before she'd given up all hope of going back to sleep. Mostly she just hoped no one would say anything about the incident at the baths. Face washed, Knioth oiled, she rubbed the neckridges on the blue, who rumbled affectionately in turn. « It shall be fine my squire. » She wished she felt as much comfort in that statement, At least some time in the air would take her mind off it. "Lets go for a jog and then a flight around the bowl Huh buddy?" As they head for the exit from the barracks. The summer air would feel nice. No such luck: there's Telavi lying in wait, or rather stretching in wait, one foot braced waist-high on the wall and leaning into her bent knee. "Ghena!" she calls, only as loud as it takes to get to the younger girl. "I was hoping to run into you," her smile appearing for a moment at the pun. "Go ahead, stretch, and let's run." Oh shit. Well on the scale of people Ghena didn't want to accidentally bump into Telavi was pretty high on that list. "No offense ma'am as much as I'd love to take you up on that offer I got my running partner right here!" Slapping Knioth's flank, and causing the dragon to give her a queer look. "Ghena," Telavi says, and for all that her voice is gentle and her stretching is buoyant and that high ponytail of hers is practically perky, "It wasn't a request." "Oh." The blue rumbles nudging her foreword before making his way past and into the bowl. "Traitor." She mutters at the beast under her breath as she begins the process of stretching, being as thorough about it as possible. So much so that one might think she's putting off the inevitable. Telavi gives Knioth a dazzling smile on his way out, regardless of whether he's actually looking, and indulges Ghena in a certain amount of delay. But when she must think the weyrling's done, she says, "Off we go!" and leads the way off towards the craft complex. Not that she gets too far ahead, just in case Ghena's planning to stall there too. Telavi gets a rumble for the smile, before Knioth is gone. Ghena does try to stall there too, it's like the Assistant Weyrlingmaster is psychic, or at least she knows well enough to tell when someone's dragging their feet. When that doesn't work, Ghena tries another approach, breaking into a full on lope with everything she's got. Telavi must not be in a hurry, or at least not in a hurry to talk, for she readily speeds up when Ghena does; she doesn't seek to try to surpass the younger girl in turn, only to push her pace as long as she's in the mood for getting away from Tela. The lope suits her, long and rhythmic. Desipte the fact that this has been her routine from the time Knioth had decided she should be doing it. Ghena can't push any faster than what Telavi matches. Which in the grand scheme of things doesn't seem to matter much as muscles warm and the chill air hits her lungs, as the sun peeks above the spires. It's another kind of release, and it brings with it a sense of elation that her sense of dread can't overwhelm. She keeps pace like that for a long time before slowing to a jog again. You can't run away from your problems forever after all. So they bypass the craft complex, Telavi turning up her nose and chattering about the lingering smell from those Tanners along the way; Tela doesn't slow down quite as soon as Ghena does, either, so she can catch up with the other girl. "So," she asks, looking ahead towards the lake but then back at Ghena again, "So! Want me to be kind of subtle and give you meaningful looks and make vague noises about family, first, or would you rather we just get into talking about it?" It. "Let's just cut to the chase and get the disiplinary action over with, if you don't mind." Ghena exhales finally. "I'm sure you got the story from A'rist or G'laer or someone anyway. Yes It was immature, no riders shouldn't loose control of their emotions like that. Yes I was wrong, how many laps do I have to do?" Comes out in a rush. Telavi's started to laugh, and gaily at that, only then Ghena's sounding so serious and she has to explain, "It was your lovely pun. But, really, I'd like your version. Start from the beginning? Please?" Even though that too may not be a request. Ghena exhales, slowing to a walk, as she folds her arms over her head. "It wasn't really about the hotsprings. It started before that really. How do I explain, when I was a kid, I had this image of my brother, he'd come visit and play chase and I always wanted to spend more time with him." She reflects thoughtfully, "I had this idolized image of him in my head. I mean at first I was angry because he wanted to stand, and lied about it, and then I found out he lied about more than just his age. He is, or was married has two kids and so far as I know with the exception of our sister no one knew about it." She sighs, it really is kind of a long story when you think about it. Telavi can walk too, only it's a bouncy walk, bobbing on the balls of her feet until Ghena starts in about the idolizing; then, she turns it back down a notch. "So at first..." She doesn't literally screech to a halt, only figuratively, unless how one counts how her voice rises in pitch. "Wait, kids? I knew about the wife, ex-wife, whatever, you remember how people were talking... but kids? Children? His?" "Twins from what I know. We had a fight right before I found out where he basically told me I didn't deserve Knioth and that I was immature and would get someone killed, all for playing a little prank with water. I was trying to bring his playful side out again." G'laer does not have a playful side. "Alida was there when the bitch showed up saying he wasn't making payments to their care. They are going to be fostered at the Weyr since G'laer doesn't make what he used to in the guard." "He has a playful side?" Telavi, struck. "Well, other than with Teisyth," said with a bit of a moue and arguably exaggeration to boot. She doesn't chide Ghena for her language; rather, "Oh my goodness." The greenrider's stride has gotten bouncy again, despite herself. "And is he going to teach them how to play with sticks 'right,' or, I don't know, dandle them on his knee? Knees, maybe... one for each. And wait, that makes you Auntie Ghena." Ghena exhales, "I don't know. I think they are just getting fostered in the weyr. Yeah it does." There's a little bit of bitterness there. "Never even met them. I didn't know they existed until this woman drops outta the blue." "So this woman drops in, throws out some shockers... and you're not so happy because you didn't know a thing, and you're his sister..." Tela cocks a brow at her, teasing, "Tell the truth, Ghena, were you really trying to make him playful or happy or whatever, or did you just want to mess with him? What did you even do with the water, anyway?" Ghena sighs. "He was being difficult, and typical G'laer, So - Knioth cannonballed in the lake." She frowns, "He wanted me to tell him what I wanted to know about his life, I mean where the hell do I start with that, and when do I actually belive what he says. He's been keeping everything so wrapped up for so long." She frowns, "Then I found out about his wife and kids shortly after, hadn't even talked to him since, and then the first time I talk to him he comes up in the middle of a group outing with A'rist of all people and - I hadn't had time to get my head on straight. I was still furious at him. Furious at him for judging me the way he did when he was pulling some pretty big rules violations." She sighs. "Telavi, I'm not an adult, I don't act like one I don't think like one, I don't pretend to know everything. But you can't just suddenly grow up and act perfectly mature in the span of a few months. I would like to think I've grown some but it's mostly Knioth's influence." Cannonballed... in the lake. Telavi's lashes flicker, but her mouth stays with that smooth, less telltale curve rather than interrupt even with her expression. "I'd like to think you've grown some too," she agrees with a hint of a dimple despite the seriousness involved. "So," leaving any violations aside, "You were furious, and it felt like he was being difficult, so you had Knioth splash him or he splashed him on his own, whichever. Do you think, given all you know of him, that G'laer's the sort of man who responds well to being... splashed?" Ghena rolls her shoulders, "It wasn't the splashing he reacted to." She admits, dropping her arms to her sides. "I wasn't furious, just, wanted to get through to him you know? Wanted him to see that it's ok to actually cut loose once in a while. I'm not so irrisponsible as to goof off during drills or think that danger isn't real but - I don't want to be one of those people who just get colder the older they get." Her hand rakes through short shorn hair. Telavi looks briefly horrified. "No, no. None of that. But you know," she leans in to tease, "You have a very long way to go before that. But... what did he react to, if it wasn't the splashing? And I thought you just told me that you were still furious at him? Or was it A'rist you were furious with?" She gives Ghena big blue-today eyes: help a girl out. Ghena takes a deep breath, trying to sort things out in her head. "I wasn't furious with him when I splashed him, I got angry after. When he decided to call me a stupid child, and I thought Knioth was going to eat him for a minute for suggesting that I didn't deserve him. And After that, for being such a fucking hypocrite." She shakes her head. "I ain't exactly the brightest glow in the basket. I know that - and if G'laer hadn't helped with the lessons, I would have fallen behind a long time ago. It still hurt, and hurt worse when I figured out that he'd pretty much cut us all out of his life." She frowns, "He reacted to the memory I shared with Knioth and Teisyth, of when we were kids, and used to egg him on to get him to chase us. His name was such a mouth full that most of us littler ones called him Grr. " She sighs, "And then at the outing he cornered me, when I hadn't cooled and couldn't escape with a damned bronzer at that." Oh, says Tela's rounded but silent mouth, as though that makes a little more sense-- then, "That is a sweet memory," she says sincerely, and if there's an underpinning of how she'll remember that nickname... well. "That sounds hard, when he picked the time like that. It helps to have time to cool off. Though," she gives Ghena an apologetic look, "Would you please not call them 'bronzers'? Or us 'greenies' or whatever, it makes me break out in spots," and does Ghena really want to be responsible for injuries to her assistant weyrlingmaster's complexion? "But giving them a full title makes it seem like they ain't two marbles short of a bag." She tones somberly, though there's more mischief in that than anything else. Clearly the thought of calling Telavi a greenie has never occured to her. " She exhales, "Yeah well he isn't Grr anymore. Never has been maybe." The last perhaps isn't fair to her brother, but it's starting to become her perception of him. "Any way it goes, I'm the one whose going to take the heat for it, even if I just wish everyone would pretend it never happened. So what's the punishment for a rider loosing face in public?" "You sound like Teisyth, well, secondhand anyway," Telavi says warmly. "Still! Just don't do it when I'm around. No spots allowed!" She waves off the weyrling's question, too, quite literally; "We'll get to that. The thing is, Ghena... you've lived here in the Weyr all your life, haven't you? And you haven't really had a single specialized job, or whatever, where you've had to make your way on your own, right?" She looks to the girl for a response, even if it's just a nod. The blue rider folds her arms across her chest, nodding wordlessly. "So," and here Telavi gives Ghena a longer look, one that's just a little bit softer. "When we do these things, we may still think fondly of our families, yet we do have to make our own ways. That means that we focus on what we're learning to do, we focus on the people we have to get along with now, and those we're going to need to deal with in the future. You're dealing with us," she taps her chest, "and your fellow weyrlings but you have to have an eye for future wingleaders and wingmates, too. It doesn't mean that the past is forgotten... but sometimes it means things change. Who were your friends, before you Impressed? How much time do you spend with them now?" She may reflect on that for a moment before shrugging, "I had a group of kids I hung out with." Ok maybe more like a gang of minions, but still. "I don't really have time for anything but Knioth right now, and he's plenty enough company for me." A touch defensive. Telavi doesn't look triumphant-- though she could-- so much as solemn, like this might be important. "And you're doing all these exciting new things and with Knioth, no less, and all they're getting to do is the same old, pretty much, so they can only imagine what you're doing and wonder why you're not spending more time with them and wah wah wah." This last bit might have been just a bit less professional than the rest. "Even though they know why, they know you're a weyrling, they know you're busy, but maybe they think that if you really cared you'd spend more off time with them." Or maybe they're glad they're out from under her thumb, whichever! Others will almost certainly tell you it's probably that they are content to be out from under her thumb. Ghena shrugs, "They've got their own stuff they don't really need me about." Noncommittally, but then Ghena was never the sort to necessarily be thought well of or sought for her stellar companionship. "They might not need you," there's a wrinkle of Tela's nose for need like it's a bad word, "but that doesn't mean they don't miss you. Really, too, they don't understand just how busy you are, because it's not just time but how much you're occupied, isn't it?" Another rider might speak of how preoccupied she might be by her dragon. "Not to mention the silver thread program and, oh, lots of things." She smiles, quite nearly enough to let her dimple out to play. "Can you tell where I'm going with this?" "Can you tell I'm dragging my feet to get there?" Comes the clipped reply, something in her stance and tone reminiscent of her brother's manner, or maybe it is just the sheer stubbornness that is similar. "You would like me to see that it's the same thing with G'laer and the guard and his life, but it isn't. For one, the man has broken not one, but three of the requirements for standing, and he acts like he has any right to judge other people for their flaws." It comes across more petulant than she would have liked, and a good deal more exasperated, but maybe that's because poor Telavi is making progress? "I can indeed tell you're dragging your feet," Tela confides as though it's otherwise a secret, reaching to pat Ghena's arm, so much stronger than it had been. The greenrider says pragmatically, "I'm not sure where you get three things. But even if you're right, it's not like we'll be taking Teisyth away, you know? That was before. And everyone judges, we all do, you judge him and he judges you, and if you let people see you're sensitive to it, they'll do that even more. I mean, not just judging but look-down-your-nose," Telavi draws up to her full height, and even if Ghena's taller than she is, Tela can still bring the attitude. "Like this." "Kids, he was still somewhat supporting, Wife, being aged" She counts on her fingers, If you act like an old man, you are going to get called an old man. This is one irrefutable fact. The attitude gets a lopsided grin. "That would be intimidating if you weren't so damned, cute and bouncy all the time Telavi." She points out. "Regardless it's immaterial. My brother is about as guilty as he is innocent, and he's never going to be the person I remember growing up. I'm not trying any harder on his account." You can only bash your head against a rock so many times." Telavi dimples at her, yes she does. Not that she's at all slow to point out, "No, he won't be the person you think you remember, but-- well, we'll get to that. First! Guilty!" Never mind trying or not trying. "First off, there's no rule against having kids. Oh, you don't want to do what poor Quie did and wind up an example in the way I'm pointing her out to you right this moment," Tela darts her eyes back and forth so very guilty-like, "but really, you can have had kids already. Second, wasn't that an ex-wife? If they weren't married right then, it absolutely does not count," though it comes with a wrinkle of her nose. "And it's quite possible he acted like an old man when he was your age. I don't know. I'm not going back in time to find out. But what I'm saying is, it may feel better to think of him as being a bad, bad man, but whatever bad things he's done, it wasn't those. And even if he had, that was still before. You get me?" Ghena pinches the bridge of her nose. "My point is, act like a hypocrite get treated like one." One must really wonder why she's still in the silver thread program, or even how for that matter. "Telavi, what do you want me to say? That gee golly, I am a horrible sister, and oh goodness, I shouldn't give my brother such a hard time? That would be lying, because I don't feel that way. He may well be a perfectly mature adult in some regards, but I'm not going to pretend he is what he isn't. I'm backing off and giving up any expectations I had, isn't that enough." Telavi has such an eloquent brow, curving up as it does, while the other stays so satisfyingly still and composed. "I want you to say--" there goes that dimple, though. "You don't really want to know. No, but Ghena. Imagine yourself saying something like, 'My brother pisses me off sometimes, and sometimes he overreacts, and once in a very great while I overreact, and he's a jerk who wanted to do other things like have a job or clip his toenails and not report it all to his family, and,'" where was she? "'And I know now that splashing someone when we're both less than happy with each other doesn't help, and I have better things to do than write him off and tell everyone how awful he is, if only because that'll make them think I'm a grudge-holding scatterbrain, and I definitely won't waste any of my tears.'" Because that last always works for her. Ghena just sets her jaw. "Well now that you've made that abundantly clear, lets just get to the punishment because clearly, this isn't going anywhere." She frowns mightily, "For the record, I didn't say I was writing him off, I said I was backing down." Well to be fair, Ghena sucks at communicating, especially honestly. No tears of frustration this time, just a very remote expression. Though somewhere in the bowl dragons may hear an exasperated sigh from a certain silvery blue. « Females. » Telavi, like any good assistant weyrlingmaster-- or not-so-good-- rolls her eyes. "I didn't say I thought you were that, I'm talking other people here. Backing down, writing him off, whatever: the point is that if you just back down and knuckle under and secretly or not so secretly begrudge it all, that won't work and it's not going to help. Not anything like long-term, Ghena." She steps closer, aiming to run into the bluerider's gaze, to try and break that remoteness back down. "I frankly, do not give a shit what other people think." Big fat lie, since she /does/ seem to care that Telavi has the wrong impression. "Backing down is very distinctly different than writing off. I have admitted I fucked up throughout this entire conversation." Maybe not so well as she should have. "The only way to deal with G'laer is in his own time and terms, and in a way he's going to understand. I have no more illusions of hanging out and chilling with my big brother, that simply isn't going to happen. I have stated that several times, I understand it finally. He is about as good with people as I am with academics. It isn't going to work. What I am going to do is to stop trying to force him to talk to me and let him figure it out at his own pace." Exasperation does not escape her tone. However, she is speaking, and hopefully it's more understandable than normal. The tinkling of mail, and ringing of trumpets extends softly. « Forgive me milady, but do I need to drop mine in a lake again. I sense great agitation. » (To Solith from Knioth) It's not a lie that Telavi calls her on, not directly, and she gives Ghena quite the brilliant smile for it, too. "Let's assume that includes no splashing and needling and so forth until you prove otherwise... if you ever do. Not forcing, that's good. Letting him figure things out at his pace, that's good too. It's a good step," that's what she's going to call it, "that he invited you to tell him what you want to know about his life, you know. It really is." She gives Ghena a firm nod, a believe-her-because-she-knows nod. It's Ghena's turn to roll her eyes, "Generally that would be assumed for the whole backing off" She exhales, as though that will rid her of the headache and foul mood developing. "Yes as Knioth has pointed out - repeatedly." Some people get lucky enough to impress a dragon with far more sense and wisdom than they can manage on their own. He's met with sunlight, clear and palely golden and pleasantly surprised; « Later, » Solith suggests. « If she likes it! She might. » His, not hers! (To Knioth from Solith) "You'd think," Telavi says, but has a pretty little shrug. "Let's run a little more," get rid of some of that mood, "and you can tell me what you want to know first. Or maybe a couple things!" Live large! She jogs in place, giving the other girl an encouraging smile and checks to see if she'll join her before really starting in. "It's amazing how sometimes people want you to vomit up your whole life story, and even when you like them, ugh. You know?" "Telavi, please don't take this the wrong way but you are the most frustratingly persistent ball of peppy energy I have ever encountered." It's almost a groan, but Ghena lumbers after the rider, warming up for a full run. This time though she's learned - Telavi is tenacious. Metal gleams in that light, « I see. » Is all the more the blue responds alarm abated for now. (To Solith from Knioth) "You say the sweetest things," Tela teases, or maybe doesn't tease, jogging backward a few strides before pivoting around so they can run properly. "A favorite color may sound boring, but it really is classic for a good reason. What's yours? Mine just depends, because some of the colors I like I don't look good in," and it continues on from there until Ghena has a couple concrete ideas-- even if she's not so keen on them-- and some exercise to go with it. If she's going to yell at her brother, she should at least keep those lungs strong! |
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