Logs:Girls are Confusing
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| RL Date: 9 April, 2013 |
| Who: K'zin, Rasavyth |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Late in the evening after |
| Where: Dragon Infirmary, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 12, Month 6, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Azaylia/Mentions, Sabella/Mentions, Mave/Mentions, Telavi/Mentions, N'ky/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: This vignette follows Logs:Aftershocks and Logs:Scenes. |
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| « Girls are confusing. » K'zin lies on his stomach, face half-buried in the pillow on the infirmary cot. It's not comfortable, but then nothing about today has been comfortable. The wall that Rasavyth uses to keep out unwelcome contacts has never been directed at K'zin before. But for the first time since that moment coming off the sands, K'zin thought of something that Rasavyth hadn't. Ego is a problem; a youthful problem, but a problem. Like a vengeful Harper after being corrected by one of his students, Rasavyth walled up as soon as all the healing necessities were taken care of. Unlike anyone else, K'zin has natural knowledge of the weak points in the wall and whenever Rasavyth's mind was in danger of falling asleep, he would reach for one of those soft spots where it was ooze not crystalized in interlocking tiny bits of his mental building blocks. Where he was content to let Rasavyth wallow til now, now he pushes his words through a gap. After the comedy of Telavi's talk with K'zin and the further debacle that was part of K'zin's talk with Mave, Rasavyth was just about ready to relent anyway. His rider's forceful intrusion into his solitude is met with a half-hearted sigh. « They wouldn't be if you didn't think about them so often. For someone who won't do anything » A flip of pages through The Helpful Healer's How-To: Mating Guide from K'zin's study define 'anything' as a very distinct something, « about the girls ... or boys ... you may or may not have interest in, you spend far too much time thinking on them. I confess, I do think I've been remised in directing your attention to more worthy aims. The truth of the matter, my K'zin, is that when the time comes, you'll either find somewhere to hide the sausage or you won't. The where, when or with whom is really remarkably unimportant, as you'll come to see. » K'zin's lips tug into a frown, lower lip poking out just a touch farther than the top. It's a disgruntled frown. « Do you really think it's that easy? That I'm just over-thinking all of this? » « It's only natural that you would, my K'zin. Do not feel as though you are doing something many others have not done before you. Even I find myself occasionally wondering which greens I shall twine my tail with; which will be most pleasant. Cailluneth is jiggly and Solith is delicate. I wonder which will make a more pleasing partner. » Since surely he will catch them both when the time is right. « Ghislaith looks like she could do some damage. » Damage doesn't have its typical meaning, and instead Jo's face when she spoke of watching swims into view, amused and, as Rasavyth shows it, vaguely excited. « But I don't dwell on it the way you do with thoughts of Hraedhyth's Azaylia and Ghislaith's Sabella and Betterth's Mave » Amusement colors as the fictitious dragon is referenced. The dragon who would be him if her example merged with the world. « and now Solith's Telavi. I don't believe there isn't a woman that you've met that you haven't wondered about, if only in passing. Not to mention-- » He begins to drawl. K'zin cuts him off, brown eyes glaring towards the dragon. « We're not talking about N'ky. » He doesn't want to. That's different anyway. Not talking about it, however, doesn't preclude the rabbit's hole his mind jumps down in those moments: is it just about needing to try? Is it something more? Would he like it if he did it? Would he lose his best-friend? Can you do it with someone and not want to be with them? Would N'ky want to do it with him? Even if he didn't want to, would he anyway to spare K'zin further embarrassment? If so, would it be right to let him? These and hundreds more like them could keep him going down, down, down if he didn't have a life mate to remind him gently that they're not speaking of N'ky, so there's no need to visit these questions. What about the girls? This thought, K'zin knows is not his own but a niggling ghost of Rasavyth's making to get him back on track. One thing people never tell you about mental conversations is how much easier it is to get entirely derailed by all the other thoughts in one's head. « The girls... After things with Azaylia... do you really think we can move past all that? Do we want to? » The we here is significant because events affected them both and the feelings are too mangled together to be separated easily. « Sabs... Sabs isn't going to understand the way I turn myself in. She might be mad. And even if she isn't mad then, she might be mad when I don't kiss her because I want to follow the rules. » His eyes slip closed as he sighs, « And Tela is just confusing. » This is a complaint. « I didn't see her that way before, and now I can't help but wonder about it. Shells. It seems like if they're not threatening to beat me up, I'd take them to bed if they asked. It makes me loose as a lower caverns girl. » He hesitates. « Well, any lower caverns girl except Mave. And we're just friends. And N'ky likes her anyway. » There's no hiding his discontent with that situation from Rasavyth. He'd like to be permitted to like her. To at least find out if Mave might like him also. But he can't. Mave doesn't want to think about it, and he can't make her. Add to that that he couldn't rightly pursue her now if he wanted to, not with N'ky... Sigh. N'ky. The gravity of the rabbit hole starts to pull at his thoughts. Rasavyth is laughing as his mind sweeps in to encircle K'zin's mental self with tendrils of his ooze, pulling him back from the bottomless what-if pit. « My dearest K'zin, » When Rasavyth uses a term of endearment, it's never the way a normal person might. Every endearment is closer akin to the feeling of 'My dear boy' from an older and wiser mentor than the 'sweetheart's exchanged by some pairs. « This is exactly what I'm saying. You think about it all far too much. It's all quite simple: bed them. If you're seen as loose, then you are simply not being discrete enough. » There's a sensation of the ruffling of K'zin's hair. « As for Azaylia, I see no reason not to bed her if she is willing. I admit to understanding better now what transpired all those days ago, » And yes, he remembers - or at least, has reviewed the particular memory recently enough to act as though he recalls it convincingly, « and shall make my amends with Hraedhyth, if she even remembers the offense. » That he likely shouldn't have taken offense to in his surprise. « My K'zin, it is time that we focus on our future. In order to achieve our goals, » There's a vague sense that the bronze almost says "my" but alters it at the last moment, « We must appear responsible, rule-minding, and strong enough to lead, mentally and-- » This last is admitted as though it pains him to say it, « -- physically. You will study and learn, from the Harpers, from the Weyrlingmasters, from the riders, and from me. And I shall instruct you on the finer matters of socializing, and other things. » The other things sound ominous, but amused. « Together, we shall be the best anyone has ever seen. » There is a pause, « But I must know that you are in this with me. I cannot achieve greatness alone. » That, too, seems to pain him to admit, but it is a simple fact. « Are you with me, my K'zin? » Where before there has been hesitation, now K'zin is resolved. « I am. » The thrill Rasavyth experiences as this unequivocated acceptance is as brief but as intense as a lightning strike. His mind's patterns changed, built now with K'zin as a foundation rather than an obstacle. His tenor purrs soft, but intense with uncompromising resolve. « We will be great together. » |
Comments
Comments on "Logs:Girls are Confusing"Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Tue, 09 Apr 2013 21:41:11 GMT.
I... I never thought I'd ever... agree with Rasavyth so thoroughly before. But. Uh. Listen to the evil baby! XD It was really nice to be able to just see what they both think-- little spoiler-y peeks into their brains that are normally hidden during rp. Good stuff.
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