Logs:Heart's Desire
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| RL Date: 22 June, 2015 |
| Who: Farideh, Roszadyth |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Farideh and Roszadyth discuss the former's shortcomings of late. |
| Where: Roszadyth's Ledge, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 23, Month 1, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Weather: Snowing. |
| Mentions: K'del/Mentions, Irianke/Mentions, Drex/Mentions |
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| Snow was falling in the weyrbowl and had been for hours -- since Farideh had woken up and stumbled, exhausted, to join Roszadyth on her ledge as the first colorful splay of the morning's rays had come up over High Reaches' spires. She kept an overstuffed pillow there for just that reason, and often found herself staring out into the bowl, watching the coming and goings of weyrfolk in contemplative silence or otherwise engaged in dialogue with her lifemate. That morning was no different, as she sat cross-legged on the beaten up flower-patterned pillow, brushing the tangled mess of her hair back from her eyes. Roszadyth was, as always, an all-encompassing, familiar glow that warmed her from the inside out, sweeping away the vestiges of sleep and replacing them with her soft, caressing touch. « Good morning. » Her pale gold form was stretched out on the ledge, whirling eyes turned to survey with casual nonchalance. « Look, there! Viasoth's has already begun her morning exercises, » she noted to her rider, her meticulously cultivated tones effusive. « Such dedication ought to be rewarded, such perseverance admired. » Farideh didn't have the gift of dragon sight, and the bluerider in question was too far from her vantage to visibly see, but she nodded along with Roszadyth's compliments anyway. Stretching her arms over her head, she yawned, and then leaned a shoulder into the buttery-supple hide to her left; her eyes tracked their way up shortly after, lifting to the wide-set eyes and innocent visage of her dragon. I know you're disappointed in me. I'm disappointed in me too, you know. « Why would you say such things? I could never find it in me to be disappointed with you, Farideh. Exasperated, short of understanding, and unknowledgeable perhaps, but never disappointed. » They might as well be the same thing to you. Farideh closed her eyes when the comforting whisper of Roszadyth's rushed through her mind, quietening the frazzled nerves and shadowy corners. « In any endeavor, I will whole-heartedly support you, but I cannot know what you do not wish to share. What is it that your heart desires, Farideh? The man-- the position-- the affirmation? » I don't know anymore. I don't-- it's all too much still. I've made a mess and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know if I can or if I-- I want to. Roszadyth's head -- that once Farideh could swear she could hold between her palms -- came down to bump gently against Farideh's forehead, gaining a small laugh, as the weyrling'as arm wrapped around the curve of the gold's sloping neck. « And yet you let agony persuade your actions, » she sighed into Farideh's mind; it was not a judgement, but a shared burden of emotion. I have too much pride to beg Drex back. You know that, Ros. Even if I-- regretted it immediately, even though it hurts. There's nothing to do. « You might attempt to give an apology. » Irianke will never trust me with anything, or esteem me, for that matter, like she once did. I'll always be the stupid little girl no one wants around for fear she might say something she shouldn't. « Niahvth's is not at all unreasonable. No, she is quite reasonable, and she will see in time what it is that I see in you. » And I can't possibly ever like K'del, no matter how much you get by with Cadejoth. He's horrible. Absolutely vile. « I cannot conceivably see what good it does for you two to keep carrying on so. He is a fine man and he has done much for the Weyr, and Cadejoth-- » So, I have no solutions, and I'll just have to live with it all. I'll stay in my weyr and only come out to work. I'll be a hermit. No fancy parties, no diplomatic visits-- absolutely nothing to mess up. « Oh, darling. Why, nothing is without a solution if we both put our heads to it. One mind is never as marvelous as two, is it? » Despite her ongoing doldrums, Farideh never lasted long against Roszadyth's sensibility, her gloomy expression giving way to an amused smile that also brightened the rest of her face. No. One mind is not nearly as good as two, Ros. Roszadyth and Farideh sat in companionable silence for a while longer, watching delicate snowflakes fall from the leaden skies overhead, until the latter had to get up and get ready for what remained of her day. |
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Comments
Edyis (23:31, 22 June 2015 (MDT)) said...
I loved this so much. To see the heart of Farideh's struggles and how she feels about them, her failings and successes. I also can't help but love Roszadyth's sweetness and acceptance of all of it.
Cass (19:36, 23 June 2015 (MDT)) said...
Really enjoyed that, even though she is frustrated with everyone, all of her issues and opinions of what she wants to come out of it are colored so differently. An assault on all fronts! Sounds so tiring.
You can really feel that she has these expectations (of herself, others, how things will go) and yet everything just seems to snowball so horribly in practice. She never seems to come off the way she wants-- and now I am babbling.
The point is: do like. Felt real.
Alida (22:37, 23 June 2015 (MDT)) said...
Fari's still on the teen roller coaster, but Ros is helping her mature.
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