Logs:Insecurities
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| RL Date: 27 August, 2015 |
| Who: Nala, Aislara, Jynth, Ryerith |
| Involves: Fort Weyr, Tillek Hold |
| Type: Log |
| What: Jynth exploits his bond with Nala to make her tell Aislara what she really wants. |
| Where: Shore, Tillek |
| When: Day 18, Month 8, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: N'muir/Mentions, N'rov/Mentions, C'stian/Mentions, Y'ral/Mentions, Cece/Mentions, M'vyn/Mentions, Hattie/Mentions, Ebeny/Mentions |
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| It is one of Aislara's rare days off - rare in the sense she often trades with others so that they may have the free time and she may stay working. Ryerith may have had her reasons for enforcing such a day. It is the green's tendrils of ribbons that reach out and tickle at Jynth's awareness. It is her request that is made. « Can you please join me? We are here » She shares the image of a sandy shore and a dock that stretches out towards the water. The faint outlines of moving bodies is shared. It is busy on that dock and in that building near it. She's further down from it, lounging in the sun and watching a group of dolphins fishing further offshore. « I want to sun with you. » Much of Nala's drills and duties occur in the morning or the dawn these days, leaving most of, if not all, of the afternoon free to do whatever it is that's been keeping her out of the Weyr on a regular basis. Today, Jynth answers almost immediately, and instead of an apology, there's the black of Between in his mental touch before he reappears over Tillek and begins to spiral down to meet Ryerith. His rider dismounts with a heavy thud, careless in her jump from halfway down straps, and though her expression is as severe as ever, Nala reaches out a gentle hand towards the green in greeting, her focus on her first before she looks around. Ryerith warbles a greeting to Jynth has he appears out of Between. Her happiness is a clear, tinkling, sound of bells as she watches him move towards her. Nala's hand is met with her gentle nose-bump of returned greeting. A soft croon is offered for the bluerider as Ryerith nudges her to look to the left where Aislara has settled further down the beach. The greenrider lifts a hand in greeting to Nala, pushing up from her blanket to straighten her sundress and fuss at stray bits of sand that insist on clinging to her. She makes her way towards the group with a small smile. "Hello," she tells Nala, looking to Ryerith with a lifted brow. "You didn't tell me you called them," she informs the green as her hands drift to rest on her hips. Ryerith stares at her rider for a second and then rises to call to Jynth. « Shall we swim? » Though not in the gear she wears for drills, Nala is still dressed rather boyishly, her hair pinned up and tight tunic over a long-sleeved blouse, the leather trousers ones better than those she surrenders for work, and once she's stripped Jynth's straps away and cast them over her shoulder, there's little about her that screams anything but rider. She follows Ryerith's guidance and looks towards Aislara, seemingly ready to head towards her until the greenrider finds them instead. "I know you keep trading your time off," is as accusatory as it is a statement, not a question. "If you would rather spend the time alone..." It's a genuine offer, as she looks between Ryerith and Aislara, then to Jynth; a silent understanding of being close to one's dragon. Except Jynth has no qualms about answering Ryerith and heading for the ocean. « Before they talk themselves out of anything, » he remarks to her. Aislara blushes under Nala's accusation, her eyes shifting towards the sand and her toes as she digs them into the sand. "I just... you know how I am with weyrlings to tend to. And I don't need as much time off as some others do," she shrugs, knowing it's a lame excuse even as the words slip out. Her hand lifts to rub at her earlobe briefly as she tips her gaze back up to Nala. "I'm glad you came. I know you've been spending your free time outside of the Weyr," she moves her hands together, unconsciously falling into that habit of hers of twisting and pulling at her fingers. "I haven't wanted to come off needy." Ryerith rumbles her agreement as she pulls herself up to amble down into the water. She swims with certainty out into the distance, seeking a closer look at the dolphins she had been watching earlier. « They tend to do that a lot. Each of them fall into insecurity. Especially when they spend time apart. » She dives down deeper into the water, thrilling at the coolness against her sun-warmed hide. « Why do you think that is? » "...Did you like the flowers?" Nala asks in a half-guilty murmur, as she lifts her gaze from Aislara and out across the sea. "You're allowed as much time off as anyone else," she says in that same quiet voice, where she might want a better word than 'allowed', but fails to find one to suit her exact meaning. "...I had to check on some things," she sighs. "Astivan didn't pay for our virtue - he paid for silence - and having returned home as an obviously fallen woman, I fetched quite a bit. When I ran... the money found its way into things that could be useful... to me." She cracks a tiny, wry smile. "If you ever need llama wool, I could likely decorate your whole weyr with it." It's more than she's ever said about that part of her life, and still she can't look at her. « She doesn't deserve her. » It's not agreement, yet nor is it argument with what is presented as fact, Nala's belief so secure that it's become part of Jynth's understanding too. « Maybe they shouldn't spend so much time apart. » While Ryerith dives deeper, he bobs along the surface of the water, wings spread wide to aid his balance. "Of course I liked the flowers," Aislara's response is quick and followed by a smile. "They were on my table for quite some time. Then I dried them." She inches forward, unsure and then she hesitates no longer as she moves to encircle her arms around Nala. She presses her face against the bluerider and inhales contentedly. "I missed you," she murmurs, keeping her arms wrapped around Nala as she tilts her face upwards. "If you wanted me to have the llama wool, I'd use it in all my decorations. Especially if it came from you." The rest, that small sharing of her life, Aislara tucks away for further thought later. Ryerith surfaces near to where Jynth is bobbing and she proceeds to mimic him. Her wingtip reaches towards his to touch briefly. The dolphins have moved further into the distance and she watches them with a small sigh. « They can be fun to play with » she tells him, her ribbons tickling towards Jynth. « She does deserve her, you realize. I would not permit it if she didn't. » Her belief in that is as strong as her rider's. « As you are good for me. How do we keep them from drifting like they do? I am not sure. » Nala dips her head down and tucks in against Aislara's neck, while her arms slip around her waist. She keeps her eyes closed for a moment, then peers out over the greenrider's shoulder, like she can't quite keep her guard down. "You would have a weyr full of fluff if it was all llama wool," she teases gently. "I suppose I could try and give some of the things to the Weyr... not that I could sneak them into stores now, I think. I would not want... questions." And so that thought is seemingly abandoned almost as soon as it begins. "...When you are finished with the weyrlings... we could go to Ista? Rent one of the cottages again?" The tension in her is obvious, her grip suddenly too tight and then nearly not there at all. Jynth shifts a little to float closer to Ryerith, making to overlap one green wing with blue. « We could refuse to be parted, but that'd be our choice and not one of their own, » he supposes. Aislara notices that tension in her and she hugs her back as tightly as she is gripped. She wriggles back, needing to get a fuller view of Nala's face. A hand is grabbed as she goes, that need to maintain contact still there. She squeezes Nala's hand. "I could ask Ben," she offers, looking sincere and unable to hide the concern hovering in her gaze. "And we could go sooner. I could probably take two days off." Ryerith paddles her forepaws every now and then to maintain her passive float beside Jynth. « I am not sure that is healthy or fair. Would it upset Nala very much? Aislara refuses me nothing, generally. » She warbles to the dolphins in the distance as they slip beneath the water and do not resurface. « I wanted them to visit. » After regarding Aislara in silence for a moment or two, Nala gently asks, "And could you promise not to worry about the weyrlings, or not to feel guilty for asking in the first place?" only half-rhetorically, some measure of understanding or soft chiding there. "I would rather go when you can relax and not be concerned about what is going on at home, so that it is a holiday for you." She ducks her head a little. "And maybe I should look into finding a new wing before then too. My loyalty has been to N'muir... and I do not think my... skill set is of much use to Hematite as it stands." Jynth eyes the retreating dolphins and adds a warble of his own in a futile attempt to call them back. « You have me, » he tries to comfort, though he hasn't really got the cocky confidence to go with it, and folds a wing to drift closer and nose at Ryerith's neck. « I think... » the blue considers, « that being with her wouldn't upset her, but feeling like a burden would. » Aislara flushes at Nala's question, embarrassed as she turns her face out towards the water and their dragons. "I could do my best. It's not as if my fellow assistants are not competent. And the weyrlings have grown. I can ask Ebeny. If you wanted to go sooner." She shrugs, lifting her hand to brush her hair out of her face. Nala's talk of a new wing gives her pause as she looks back to her. "I thought things were changing? Didn't E'dre transfer people from different wings?" She hesitates, "I don't know how that wing is. I'd be very intimidated there.. wanting to switch I understand." Ryerith noses against Jynth and turns to begin a slow swim back to shore, her desire to curl against him shared as a sense of his warmth against her hide rather than a direct request. « That feeling is again that insecurity. They do better when they rely on each other. I do not second guess your affection for me. I do not understand why they worry so. It is clear they love each other. » To a draconic way of thinking, at least. Ryerith pauses on the water's edge to shake clinging water from her frame before she treks towards a wallow she had dug out earlier in the day. "...It may not be enough to change the culture of a wing," Nala says quietly. "E'dre likely still believes Jynth and I are broken. I meddled in C'stian's affairs without just letting him know the truth. N'rov... I can barely look at without wonder what he's done to--" She shakes her head. "And there's that woman." Who doesn't even get a name now, or an explanation. "And Y'ral." The bluerider barks out a sudden note of laughter. "When I lay it all out like that, it sounds like a living nightmare." For her. "Maybe I am just the common factor." Eyeing her blue, as he begins to paddle after Ryerith, she declares, "He's keeping something from me," under her breath. « She loves her very much, » Jynth shares, as his paws find sand and he lifts himself out of the water, mindful when he folds his wings back. « Enough to scare her that she could break everything. » Aislara frowns as she listens to Nala, concern etching her brows downwards. "I don't know all the details," she murmurs, holding tighter to the hand she still clasps. "But if it doesn't feel like a good fit anymore, ask E'dre to transfer you." Aislara doesn't have time to press the subject as Nala redirects her focus to their dragons. Ryerith has begun to swoop sand out of the wallow, lengthening it to accommodate Jynth's body. « That is silly. Aislara is not breakable. She is very strong. When she lets herself be. » She nudges sand this way and that with her nose and her forepaws. « Maybe we should force them to live together. Maybe it will help? » Aislara looks from Ryerith to Jynth and then to Nala. "What is he keeping from you?" Jynth does not stand idly by and let Ryerith do all the work, but nor does he know exactly what she has in mind, and so, where she digs, he digs a little more shortly after she's abandoned the spot. « Maybe it's not her she's afraid of breaking, » he replies, twisting to nudge his nose along his flank to free it of sand. « It would be better if they chose to, » is akin to a sigh; surrender to whatever deemed necessary. Nala frowns - and he flinches, shiver running from nose to tail - but all she manages to get is, "Either something about me or something about us," with the frustrated grit of teeth. "...It is too soon for her to rise again, surely?" "I don't know," Aislara answers slowly, her eyes lifting in thought as she thinks through the days. Her frown is turned towards Ryerith as the green's head angles towards her. Aislara's brows furrow further as she focuses in that distant way on her dragon as the two push back and forth between each other. Her sigh admits her defeat as she twitches her shoulder's in a semblance of a shrug. "She won't tell me what's going on. I got a sense of... something breaking? And that was it." She turns back to Nala and then looks to the water. "Do you want to swim?" It's a distraction from much of their conversation but there's a hopeful smile offered. Ryerith finishes her fussing and nudges Jynth's shoulder. « No one will break with us watching. » She settles down daintily, stretching her tail outside of the wallow as she shifts to encourage him to join her. Nala does much the same with Jynth, only there's little outward change to identify that she's speaking to the dragon who seems to ignore her completely, choosing instead to settle down and wrap himself around Ryerith, going so far as to drape a possessive wing over her as he stares at his rider. For just a second, the facets of his eyes whirl through a worried, pale yellow before being restored to an even blue-green, and it becomes obvious which of dragon and rider has metaphorically blinked, for Nala presses the heels of her palms to her temples and she blurts out, "No, I don't want to swim. I want to go home with you and I want to take you," she pauses long enough for meaning to be ambiguous, "to buy furniture, because you always refuse to buy things to make a home and you should have nice things and sometimes I want to be in that home when you come home without you worrying why I'm there, because I'm just there...!" She takes a deep breath, like she'd go on, but instead just glares at Jynth, half-doubled over. Ryerith settles against Jynth with a sigh of contentment. His wing draws a croon from her. She is his after all. She notes his worry and offers her quiet support. Her ribbons and chimes are a movable force, gently swaying in the unseen breeze of her mind. She is there if he needs. Aislara reaches for Nala's hand, quick to hold on to it as she tries to hide the concern she feels from showing on her face. It isn't likely she's successful and a flush of uncertainty rises to her cheeks. "Furniture?" she blinks in surprise, "I guess we can, I mean, if it.. if you want it to be your home too.. we certainly need the things you like." Her blush deepens as she looks away from Nala. "I've never felt comfortable with those decisions on my own." Nala's next words has Aislara moving to wrap her arms around her. "I'd never worry when you're there," she assures her as she steps back, "I'd be so pleased to see you. Are you.. do you want to move in with me? Hattie did give me the bigger weyr.. and it's much too big for just Ryerith and I..," she hesitates and grows quiet, eyes alert to any subtle changes in Nala as she mutely watches her for a reaction. Her hands move in front of her to wring as she wordlessly watches Nala and then turns a look to Jynth. Ryerith's voice is gentle and yet not all of her words are hers. « Be kind to Nala. She has something more to say than she can say. » She's been pushed this far, and though Nala looks like she'd dearly not like to speak any further, either another nudge from Jynth or surrender to the rest of it leads her on. "I want you to want it for you," she emphasises. "Not for me or what I want. I can help you make the decisions and help you choose, but I do not want it for me." She turns her back on her blue when Aislara wraps her arms around her, her own arms hugging tight around the greenrider's waist in the moments before she steps back. "...I just... don't want you to think that I ever turn up because I want something from you. Sometimes... I just want to be near... and that is it." Glancing down at her feet, she shifts awkwardly on the spot. "But I would... like to live with you... for the days I can manage. If you do not think it's awful I need my own weyr for... bad days." Even having said that much, she tenses, as if she could turn and run if she let herself. « I am being kind, » Jynth insists. « It hurts, but it'll be better. » Aislara shakes her head, her hands still twisting as she nervously plays with her fingers. "Nala, I hope that you don't think," she pauses, taking a breath as she tries to steady herself. Her hands still as her shoulders square. She manages to find the strength to not let her nerves dominate her reaction and a glance towards Ryerith may signal her gathering of strength is not done on her own. "It is something I want for myself," she assures Nala, her tone soft as she looks back to the bluerider. "I want you to be able to come and go as you please. It can be our space and we will make it a home for us both. I understand that you need to have... time away from me. I don't take it personal. Not anymore. I know it isn't me that makes you need to go. Maybe someday... you'll find you don't need that escape." She hesitates and then steps forward to grab Nala's face between her two hands. Her eyes search the bluerider's for a moment and then she tips forward to claim a kiss. It's a short, sweet, kiss and she pulls back before she takes it any further. "I love you very much. You make me happy. I hope I make you happy." Her grin is unwavering, though she bites at her lower lip to try and still it. "Are we going shopping today then?" Ryerith rumbles, « You know what is best. » Nala digs her heels into the sand and makes herself stay where she is to listen and sneak glances at Aislara, until she demands her focus entirely and she gives it to her without protest or attempts to pull away. Rather than immediately provide her with a verbal response, her hands find Aislara's hips to tug her back against her so that she can kiss her in a manner less short and sweet, fingers flexing with the need to both push her back against support that isn't there and draw her nearer. "I love you too," she murmurs in the moment after she remembers that air is a requirement for them both. "...Shopping," is agreed with her next breath and what remains of her wits. In forcing his rider's hand, Jynth has also potentially launched them away from the sand wallow, and so he makes to shove his head beneath one of Ryerith's wings to deny the inevitable for as long as possible. Aislara reaches for Nala's hand to claim and she tugs playfully, stepping backwards a step or two with an encouraging smile. "Let's go and have something to eat first," she decides, giving a knowing glance to the curled dragons. "That'll give them time to fully dry before we go Between." She'll coax and encourage however much may be needed to convince Nala to journey across the sand with her to the distant building where lunch can be had. She has enough boldness to hold Nala's hand through most of the meal, choosing to ignore any curious glances that may come their way. It'll take plenty of Nala's coaxing later to help Aislara make decisions on furniture that will be suitable for their weyr. At the end of the day, back at her weyr, Aislara will show Nala all the places they can call the space their own in the best way she knows how. Ryerith remains firmly curled around Jynth as the sounds from their riders move from quiet conversation and towards something else. « You did well today, Jynth. You found a way to make them both happy. I am happy. I hope you are happy. We are lucky to have you. All of us. » And then sleep will claim all of them and the weyr will fall to a peaceful silence. |
Comments
Alida (02:03, 29 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
Enjoyable reading, and glad to see at last some happiness for these two. :)
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