Logs:Jealous Much?
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| RL Date: 18 June, 2014 |
| Who: K'zin, Quinlys, Rasavyth, Solith, Telavi |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Quinlys and Telavi are friends and coworkers who happen to have slept together (yay, flights!). K'zin is moody broody too-much-'tude-y bronzerider who should know better than to get jealous. (Guess what, he doesn't.) |
| Where: Snowasis, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 9, Month 1, Turn 35 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: F'manis/Mentions, G'then/Mentions, Jadzia/Mentions, K'del/Mentions, Leahsa/Mentions, R'hin/Mentions, Rysa/Mentions, Suireh/Mentions, T'volt/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Aaaangst. Back-dated. |
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| Snowasis, High Reaches Weyr The Snowasis is rarely quiet, and even then, the high-ceilinged former weyr is kept from echoing by the fantastical booths tucked into its convoluted perimeter. The secluded seating spaces have been shaped from the truncated stalagmites that escaped the smoothing of the main floor, and are both softened and separated by colorful hangings that are thick and opaque enough to make each corner its own private nook. Some of the smaller stalactites still roam the ceiling, their jagged teeth tracing a bumpy, inverted spine to the hearth. There, a thick rug with a low klah table and comfortable armchairs and couches sit, their upholstery and cushions changed sporadically to match the season: bright, light colors in the summer, fresh greens and yellows in the spring, warm autumnals in fall, and clear, rich hues for winter. Small tables litter the rest of the cavern, enough to fit up to four people each, while stools stand along the smooth wooden bar behind which is the passthrough window to the kitchen. Glass-paneled cabinetry behind the bar provides a clear view of the available liquors, the many colors reflecting the soft light of glows tucked into strategic niches around the cavern.
"Well, not that I noticed, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the most observant of people... anyway, I was with Rysa, and she's practically a native, now." Quinlys is pleased by the implied compliment, lounging back in her chair with the smug contentedness of someone who has had too much sun (she's pink all over), and not (yet) enough beer. "Still, it's better than if I'd spent turn's end at Igen, am I right? I like my nose right where it is." "How many Turns has she been at Monaco, anyway? I thought it was the sort of place where you had to be there for generations before you count." Tela only has a pinkened nose, right across the top, a very faint sheen across it where she's treated it against the dreaded peeling and itching that might otherwise follow. Luckily, it's not the leprous sort of peeling... yet. "And yes. Igen, of all places. I've been avoiding the Weyr too, just in case." Quinlys pauses, setting down her beer so that she can count on her fingers: one, two, three, pause, four, five, and: "Six. I suppose she doesn't really count, but I don't think anyone is giving her a hard time over the whole Savannah thing." She holds up her hand for examination, fingers outstretched: pink, and no doubt it clashes terribly with her hair. And yet... "I've never trusted Igenites. It only goes to show." Tela watches the fingers-counting, bemused, smiling; it's not much of a stretch to shift to the bluerider's hand as a whole, fingers spread like one of Olveraeth's stars. "Never ever? I've had better luck with a few..." In contrast to the cheery chatter of the two weyrlingmasters, K'zin's entrance has him stoic and silent. It turns out doing F'manis' paperwork is neither exciting nor time-consuming at the times K'zin would wish it to be so. But it's not like he has other duties to give him a reason not to be available pretty much at his wingleader's beck and call, unless one counts care of Rasavyth, and would anyone like to guess how getting back in their wingleader's good graces after so long an absence ranks for Rasavyth's priorities? Yeah. So that's why K'zin is only entering now. Brown eyes are searching for one face in particular, and when they land on Tela and then take in her red-headed companion, the corners of his mouth tug down just enough to make him look dour. And so it is that he approaches the pair. "Tela. Quinlys." Cheery as a storm cloud. "Weeeee-lllll," drawls Quinlys, now pressing her hand to the condensation of her glass, as if this might cool and soothe her sunburnt skin. She doesn't get any further: there's K'zin, and as bright as her smile is as she swings around to look at him, it droops somewhat after that. "Don't you look like a little ray of sunshine. Come have a beer. Good for what ails you!" Telavi looks up, too, delight bright in her eyes; "K'zin! What's your opinion on Igenites?" Cloudy expression or no, she shifts over, makes room. "Been a while since I could travel that way. Not sure I remember what they're like." It's not light the way it ought to be with so friendly a reception. Instead, it's like a passive aggressive reminder that he's trapped without his dragon, except for the rare occasion that he leaves the Weyr with a trustworthy person to bring him back. K'zin's eyes fall to Quinlys' glass briefly before turning his eyes onto Telavi. "I'm not drinking tonight." Only, shouldn't that be an answer to the bluerider? "Are you ready to go?" What did Quinlys ever do to him? Maybe it's just the whole world he's Less Than Pleased with tonight though. Bronzeriders do sometimes have a tendency to be moody, it's been said. (More than once.) What did Quinlys ever do to him? Her chin lifts, now, expression defiant. "If you're going to be like that," she declares, "I'm not sure why Tela would even want to go with you. Tela, you're always welcome at my place. There'll be more laughs." 'Of course but' doesn't quite get voiced on Telavi's ever-so-carefully-slow exhale; the second "But--" makes it but not whatever she might have said about water. Apologetic eyes shift to Quinlys', Tela only just starting to slide back towards where she'd been when-- no. Someone tell her Quinlys did not just say that. Well, that's worse, of course. K'zin's lips pull to hard line. The words are practically bitten as they exit his mouth, "Because she is my girlfriend." That's the first time that word has ever passed K'zin's lips in that kind of context. "But if you'd rather go back to her place," this to his supposed girlfriend, "Fine." Like Tela already accepted. "I'll go find someone else." To be moody at? To ask for a tampon? Something. It's not Quinlys' fault her hackles have been raised, honest. It's just... Those blue eyes of hers narrow, disapproval radiant in her expression. "Oh for fuck's sake," she says-- hisses-- at the bronzerider. "And she's my friend, or does that not count for anything these days?" Someone tell Tela K'zin did not just say that. She unfreezes enough to take a quick gulp of beer, like that'll help; "I'm coming, I'm coming-- thanks, Quinlys--" presumably for the offer unless she means 'thanks for nothing,' "and let's all be friends, please? I'll just get my jacket--" It would probably be more appropriate for K'zin to actually say out loud, 'You're not my teacher anymore, Quinlys!' or something equally petulant as he wordlessly turns away from the women and doesn't quite stomp his way toward the patio ledge. Real mature. Good job, bronzerider. "Your boyfriend," says Quinlys, rather as an aside to Telavi, as she watches aforementioned boyfriend take his leave, scowling. "Is a complete and utter ass." "What the fuck--" does it mean anything that Tela uses the same word that Quinlys had? "Oh, Q. I'm so sorry; I don't know what's--" she gestures one-handed, if not with any notable fingers uplifted-- "well, other than the obvious but-- I said I'd-- I've got to go." Because that's the mature thing to do and not at all enabling. "Go, go." Quinlys' disgruntlement makes it sound like this is a personal affront. "This is why I never date." Although that is definitely sotto voce. Trailing behind her: "Drink my beer!" Quinlys will. And some more after that, probably, too. Someone had better. K'zin looks like he could use that and more from the way he's pacing at the base of the stairs. It's in the direction of the dragon infirmary, and then back toward the stairs as if he's undecided about going back or just taking off. It may be worse that he hasn't just high-tailed it out of there. It would have made things simpler. As it is, it's winter and it's cold and it's windy and there's ice here and there, and Telavi still hasn't gotten her jacket on all the way since she'd accidentally hit that off-duty cook with her flapping sleeve on her way out; her breath plumes white in the cold as finally she gets the garment on and buckles it even as she heads down those same steps. Not two and three at a time, the way she might in summer, but quickly. K'zin stops when he sees her, but seeing her somehow makes it worse, not better, because he glowers. "This was a stupid fucking idea," is a growl more to himself than to the greenrider. He pivots and seems to have made up his mind to head back to the dragon infirmary. Experience has taught Telavi not to reach for his arm; probably it's embarrassing to trot along after him, but at least it's not summer with lots of people and instead is cold and icy and windy and cold. He must realize part of the way there that she's following, and he stops, turning. "What are you doing." It's cold, and not the temperature. "Go back to Quinlys and have your laughter." Colder still. Don't tell Quinlys because she'll only be smug, but she was right: complete and utter ass. It's not a question, but Telavi says, "What does it look like I'm doing?" anyway. Did he say something about Quinlys? Maybe her ears froze off... in the time it took him to get from one sentence to another. It's so hard to be belligerent to someone when they're not feeding the fire. Gee, thanks Tela. K'zin glares at her, fists curling into existence. "Making a bad decision." Or maybe that's what it looks like he's doing? It's pretty cold out here; he might be confused. She pales further; the sunburn across her nose stands out that much more pinkly by contrast, as do those wide worried eyes. He's been distant here and there over the past sevens, brooding even, but not like this. Biting her lip makes it possible for Telavi not to retort: a sign of the true sacrifice that she's making, because it will chap later. Silence also doesn't feed the fire, so K'zin's turning to try that whole stalking off bit that was so wildly unsuccessful before. Telavi lifts her eyes to the skies, but they're no help; she follows. Again. Some more. She slips on the ice, too, but manages to keep her footing; still, it slows her. There was a time in K'zin's life when getting a girl to follow him like this would've been cause for celebration. Too bad that time is long past. Now there's a growl of frustration when he hears the ice crunching behind him. He turns again, arms folding impassively across his chest now. "What do I need to say to make you leave?" Bad K'zin. Bad! There's only the one stone wall near them, this time, but it's still a maze. "What happened today?" Telavi asks, quiet. Surely, surely whatever this is was caused by whatever happened before. "Nothing." Probably something. But apparently nothing K'zin considers relevant to the situation right now. "I just can't do this anymore." Painfully ambiguous. Thanks, asshole! Telavi doesn't have long to look doubtful before she gets to look stricken instead, not an improvement. "Why did you think I wouldn't want to go with you?" Aside from the crankiness. And the distance. "Because you were with her. Why should you want to when there are more laughs at her place?" K'zin doesn't quite spit when he answers which is sad, really, because it might freeze on the way down and then there'd be at least one fun thing about this conversation. Confusion isn't so great a look for Tela, not unless it's a pretty ploy; it takes way too long for realization-- of something, anyway-- to show up instead, like it had taken a wrong turn somewhere in southeast Crom. It could almost be out of the blue, this, "Do you want a nickname?" "What? No." He makes it sound like that's the dumbest idea ever. "I'm not a child." Could've fooled everyone, K'zin. "Just go fuck whoever you like and I'll stop feeling like I shouldn't do the same." A wince, a visible wince, and then-- what probably is another, a different one, also is Telavi folding her arms. "What?" It's demanded when she stands there like that. Still pissed and stupid. That's sure to help matters. It might be just a shift of her weight, that slight movement; it might be swaying in the face of his demand. Telavi looks back over her shoulder, back towards the Snowasis-- and back at him. Her chin lifts. "You know what, I wouldn't even mind if it was just Quinlys. She's a chick, I get it. It's not the same. I don't have boobs," and probably wouldn't want them, if he really, really weighed the pros and cons, "So it's kind of like he and I." No guesswork needed for the identity of the 'he.' "But the others. The other repeats. How many? Who? Are you even mine at all? Am I just being completely stupid in giving my heart to you? Fuck hearts. Fuck love. Fuck this shit." He'd probably throw something if he had anything, but there's nothing so his arms just tighten on his chest. Perhaps it's something that he doesn't leave now. Once upon a time, weyrling Telavi warned weyrling K'zin not to think that running off grumbling would get a girl chasing him down, despite having done exactly that. Next came her uncle's advice not to go over hard things when you're tired or hurt or hungry or mad, but even then she confessed she didn't usually follow it. Maybe someday she'll learn. Not today; even biting her lip won't stop it this time. "K'zin." It's pained, hurting, for him and for herself. She rocks onto her toes and then back down; she tugs at her collar before closing her arms back up again. "I know what you wrote," quick and sharp, "And you know what? I didn't know until a sevenday later when Solith went up, because nobody else saw it to tell me." A quicker breath, "And--" "And what?" K'zin's baritone snaps it. "You went a seven without screwing someone else!" Congratulations, says his painfully sarcastic tone. "Is that supposed to mean something?" It probably should, you big buffoon. "A beautiful girl hit on me and I did nothing. Nothing! Because you'd not have liked it. Because it's been so sharding long since I've been with any other woman outside of flights. And yeah, I have him. And yeah, I'm not giving him up," in case that was going to come into question. "But that is different-" and maybe somehow better, "-than what you do! Do you even love me at all?" He's been yelling, his arms falling away from his chest and the fists forming at his sides again, but this last question reveals the tortured extent of his pain, what's been building in him for months and months now. Oop, der it is. And-- Telavi starts to continue, then objects with her voice rising right over his, then all of a sudden stops. That might be helpful to the elderly brownrider lurking in the shadows of a nearby ground weyr, at least if actually understanding what's being overheard is a goal; the brownrider retreats only long enough to surreptitiously tug her weyrmate over, staying in the curve of the taller woman's arm as they eavesdrop. As for Tela, red flags staining her cheeks, bobbing on her toes with impatience and more-- "And you didn't let me finish. Yes. Yes, I love you." Not that she sounds thrilled about it at the moment. "No, I didn't ask you to give him up. And if you had let me finish I would have told you that it wasn't just a seven and I was going to tell you on Turn's End because I thought you'd really like it but instead you flirted with any girl that looked at you twice and--" she pulls in a breath, eyes as blue as a fire's heart and yet suddenly, liquidly bright. Fuck. Liquidly bright. Two choices: repent or bullheadedly charge on. "Was I supposed to wait forever for you to be done with them?" K'zin demands, stupidly. His fingers aren't clenched now but twitching. "Damnit, Tela." But that's sort of defeated, and he steps toward her. So maybe the answer is... both? Tela swipes the back of her hand over her eyes, inelegantly, each in turn. She looks down at her knuckles, then, and rubs them on the wool of her pants before looking up. It really can't be as dramatic for the eavesdroppers, but then, they can't see her the way K'zin can and they don't know her the way he does to recognize the subtler signs of emotion. Which isn't to say that for some things, from their distance, they don't see more clearly than either of the people looking at each other do. Looking, and looking, and then Tela's wiping her eyes again. For someone with so very many words, right this minute-- not so much. "I'm sorry." It's quiet and worn and not at all like a conqueror. Without word to tell him to stop, a second step follows the first until K'zin is in front of the greenrider. With a sigh, he's reaching to pull her against his chest, to wrap her in his arms, his chin wanting to rest against her head. He doesn't say he's sorry, even if this is probably his turn to. "Let's go up to your weyr." He suggests quietly, the fight flown out of him. His chin against her head, her forehead-- no, cheek-- against his chest, and perhaps his heartbeat carries as far as her ear. Tela doesn't nod, doesn't disrupt the way he leans against her; she does murmur assent and it's not long at all before finally, finally Solith's wings-- the wind from Solith's wings-- may be more felt than heard. There aren't yet any weyrlings in front of whom to set a bad example by flying without buckling up; the taller woman does cluck to her companion, but if even Solith hears that or the brownrider's reply, there's no evidence beyond a tilt of gilt-dusted headknobs that might as well be chance. As for Tela's weyr, it's cool if not cold beyond the curtains, the fire low in the hearth; she leads K'zin inside by one hand. He follows, tiredly. Once inside, K'zin slips his hand from Telavi's to move toward the hearth to build up the fire. Once the task is done, he stays there on his knees silently gazing into the flames. Maybe he just doesn't know what to say, or where to begin. Finally, after a long time, he asks quietly, "What were you going to tell me on Turn's End if I hadn't been acting however I was?" Maybe he still doesn't remember much from that night. He builds the fire higher, longer-lasting; she pours cool water, times two this time. She sips from one before bringing it over, reaching down past one shoulder to offer that he can take it, or not; her free hand smooths down the other. It's not that there's not a moment where she might have replaced that 'however' with something more specific, again-- does he not believe her? can't he imagine its impact?-- but in the end she doesn't need to say or ask any of these things; other things take precedence, and perhaps in her way she understands. "I was going to tell you," Tela says to the top of his head, to the flames, "that I hadn't been... repeating like that, nor much of anything; not for months." And lived to tell the tale! "I'd like to think I'd have found a better way to say it, something that didn't make it sound so heavy? Something fun and... sharing. While dancing, maybe, all those people around but just us anyway." He takes the water, but sets it before him rather than drink immediately. He doesn't shy from her touch either, though neither does he lean into it as he might have on other occasions. Slowly, he nods, but then there's more staring into the flames and silence. More not knowing what to say. Finally, "Sorry." She doesn't say that it's okay; maybe it's implicit in her muted, "Thank you." Or not. It's also not as though she couldn't have said something sooner, that she'd been trying if not how difficult that might or might not have been-- but. Just as quietly, "I don't... you said you felt stupid," and that's touched with pain too. "What about now?" "Yeah. For different reasons." K'zin answers with a sigh. "I don't know, Tela. Maybe we somehow ended up in a lot deeper than we ever intended or wanted to be." He turns his head now to look at Tela and his dark eyes are soulful and searching and just a little sad. He's not the only one who sighs, Tela's shallower and bit into silence. And it may not be comforting when she breaks her silence back into words, for all that she says it softly; "There's no 'maybe' about it." But she's also crouching enough to put her arms around him protectively. "I don't want to go back." To try to go back. Except when she's really hurting. There are probably several things K'zin could say here, but instead of all the things he could say that might get them worse off rather than better, he asks quietly, "What do you want?" "You," comes out a little rueful, obvious-- to her-- as it is. More takes more thinking. "To figure things out before we get really upset," and yelling, "would be so nice." It's one word for it. "Not to mess up." Still as quiet as he, "Your turn." "Not what I meant." K'zin declines his turn on the basis that she answered a different question, sort of, though granted he wasn't terribly specific. "What do you want this to be?" It's not quite a pfft, the way Tela exhales, too serious for that-- but still, couldn't he have spoken up sooner? And now she has to think, again. To try. "Something that works for both of us. I don't have... it's not like 'one single solitary thing and it's that or nothing'? It's easier to figure it out with 'this' or 'not this' or 'maybe that' and I want to know for you, too." "Okay," he agrees, but K'zin looks to her to get the ball rolling. Of course he does. Tela can't take this standing up! so she sits down next to him and nudges up to his shoulder-- and then reaches for his untasted glass of water so she can have a sip too. "Mmm. Time together, yes." That's the easy one. "Including just-because time. Your turn." She eyes him; will he try to wiggle out of this one? "That's not what I meant either. And that's a given anyway." So it doesn't count. Is he wiggling out or simply trying to get at something specific and failing to express himself well enough to get it. "It's not about what we do together, is it? Not really. That's fine." What they are. "What we have to talk about is us and everyone else. we need to talk about. We decided once that we could each sleep with whomever we wanted and it didn't matter to the other." Clearly, that's no longer the case. K'zin's eyes are on her when he asks again, each word enunciated carefully, as though this will help, "What do you want, Tela?" Another not-it exhalation; her shoulders droop and her head tips forward, too. At least they aren't still out in the Bowl. As he explains, Telavi has another swallow and then sets the glass aside, in favor of unfastening the tie at the end of one braid and starting to finger-comb it out. "It didn't matter before," and her voice is low, protest rather than dispute. "It started when it mattered to you and," this time she's the one to cut off, before that gets worse. "Now it matters and I don't want any-- I do want. I want you for myself." Quickly, before that can hang in the air too long, "I don't want us to resent it, though. And I know about him and, and whatever." There are several points K'zin seems to want to clarify, his head tilting a little. He starts from the beginning, "It started to matter because it mattered to me or because you started to feel like it mattered because of how I loved you?" Loved. Maybe that past tense is a slip of the tongue. Maybe not. "It could not matter again, if that's what you wanted." Maybe K'zin is selectively hard of hearing. Or maybe just selectively stupid. "You want me for yourself," is repeated next, thoughtful, so he did here her. The rest needs clarity, "You'd like me to give him up or whatever-you-don't-really-care-about-him?" Questions, and Telavi's still stuck on the first one. "What do you mean, 'how you loved me'?" How. Loved. "What?" Maybe he doesn't realize he said it that way. "I just mean that--" K'zin's upper teeth rest on his lower lip, not biting, just a pose of uncertainty. "I mean sort of what you said. How it mattered to me first, before it mattered to you. And I guess I feel like that means I sort of loved-" there it is again! "-you in a different way than you loved me." Now she's loving him in the past tense too. Perhaps the bronzerider is mistaking this for a break-up conversation six months in the making or something. "How do you love me now?" Telavi wants to know, her voice softer; she turns her head to brush a kiss onto his shoulder. "I don't know." K'zin's answer is quiet. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. How I should love you." Which isn't the same as how he does. But. "'Should.' Can you get love to follow along with 'should,'" Telavi really does wonder. "I haven't been able to. I just-- love." Or don't. "Maybe, I don't know. I've never tried. Maybe I should've been." Because K'zin did just love. And that's why they're here. "There's that 'should' again," Tela observes, and she leans her cheek against his arm now. "Let's not worry about 'shoulds' right now." "Okay. You didn't answer my questions." K'zin observes, and then there's expectant silence. Tela looks back at K'zin, all expectant and waiting like that... and winds up stretching her legs: one parallel to the hearth before him, the other eventually sideways with bent knee resting on the stone. Maybe this will take a while; maybe the stone's just that cold and hard and not comfortable. "Questions." Not the 'Lord Devaki interrogates prisoners' kind. "So, okay. Him. I can keep coping; I know it's a package deal," as he'd just reminded her, "and like you said about Quinlys, it's not like I've got a cock, not the built-in kind anyway." She rolls her shoulders in a bit of a shrug. "And while I'm not feeling all," shifting into a higher-pitched voice to match the hands she's just clasped beneath her chin, "'Oh, Ty! You're so marvelous, move in with us!' ...it's better now." And, quickly, "Don't think it means I don't care if I'm not railing and pulling my hair out." "You could have a Quinlys," K'zin suggests with a slight purse of his lips. "One. I could handle one. Since I don't have boobs." He can't help a grin flickering into existence, but it vanishes a moment later. Who can manage not to grin when boobs come up, really? He looks toward Telavi then, away from the flames, "It would make it-- sort of fair, right? I just can't handle not knowing who and how many and if I even rank. Because-- things with T'volt," since she's throwing around nicknames, he'll toss the name in there, "they're not like things with us. I mean, I like him, he's my friend and all, but it's about the sex, you know that, right? I'd care if something happened to him. Would do for him what he did for me if he wanted it of me," but that's a doubtful thing, really, "and I wouldn't want a different him so long as things are working out with him, but there aren't feelings like there are with you. I love you." K'zin doesn't exactly specify that he doesn't love T'volt, but talking in words like that about the other bronzerider just doesn't seem to work for him. "You could handle one, could you," and perhaps it's that grin that lets Telavi relax enough to say that so tongue in cheek. Then she stops interrupting, her gaze resting on his expression within the changing light and shadows cast by the fire. "Mmm." Whether or not she knows, her nod is accepting; she leans forward, after his last words, to stroke his nearest knee. "I don't know that I could handle a Quinlys," Tela admits, "even if she did want it, not that same way. Not because she's going to be my boss again, but because... I guess it's because I've changed things around, I've made room for you, and the thought of really regular with someone else too, it just--" she shudders despite the firelight's warmth. This makes K'zin frown a little, which probably wasn't the expression she was hoping for. "Then... isn't it not really fair?" Telavi's not exactly smiling either. "Not if 'it' is 'a regular for each of us,'" which comes out sounding awkward. The fire doesn't help her out any, not even when she glances briefly at it. "What you said about not knowing... the part that's not knowing if you even rank, I want you to know that you do. Do you... know how you'd know that?" K'zin is definitely frowning now. It's probably not about the second half, more about the first. It's probably not good form to ignore questions just now, but he does anyway, asking one of his own. "Does it hurt you? That I have him?" Telavi must have noticed, the way her lips press together for just a moment, but it's only another moment before she's answering-- trying to answer-- anyway. "It did. How it started? That." She fidgets with her hair, rebraiding that undone bit, undoing a little less of it this time. "Now? It doesn't... seem? like it's getting in the way the way it could've." So she's not blaming K'zin's moodiness of late on that bronzerider. "Sometimes it's awkward. Sometimes not as much. Are... you going to feel like I don't love you if that doesn't hurt?" "No. It probably means you love me more for letting me have what I want." K'zin won't go so far as to say need. "I just... I'm not sure I'd want it if it were hurting you." But let's not put that to the test, his voice says. "I'm sorry for hurting you, Tela. On Turn's End. And any other time I've been an ass. I guess I owe Q a nice bottle of whiskey." He shifts then, off of his knees and onto his rump, creating a lap for, "Come sit?" His arms are opening and inviting. Telavi nods once, glancing at him from behind her hair, but doesn't say more about that first topic-- surely a strong sign that she's on board with the 'let's not.' Her second, deeper nod holds more relief, and thankful acknowledgement... and then she's sliding over and up to sit astride that new-made lap, to lean into his chest and tuck her arms over his shoulders like she won't let go. "She was plenty pissed," Tela admits, half-admiring. K'zin can't help a half-smile for the last as he settles his arms around Telavi's waist. But rather than comment on that, he says with a certain thoughtful edge, "I guess this means you're finally my girlfriend." As he claimed earlier that evening, though with a decidedly different inflection. "I have a girlfriend." It's a little bemused. "Go figure." "I guess so," Tela allows, her inflection nearly deadpan in how it's considering; never mind that she'd claimed it to the Telgar healers these many months ago. "So, 'boyfriend'..." 'Boyfriend.' "Weird." He decides. But it doesn't sound like bad-weird, just weird-weird. "If you ever want to, with a girl I mean, just try to let me know before it happens so I don't get stupid about it?" In theory anyway. "What about like after flights in the flight weyr? Does that count? Not that anyone he's been with has ever wanted seconds. But it could happen. Tela's very solemn nod seconds 'weird,' but the beginnings of laughter adds light to her eyes, for all that the fire's behind her. So he doesn't get stupid. "Fine, if I ever want a regular," and she leans to kiss him; that's likely to be a preferred pastime for a while, but eventually, "Fli-ights." She has to think about them? "Um. No? If it's not going to break anything, you aren't in there for days," she exaggerates with what's really more a wiggle of her shoulders than a shrug. He nods his agreement, expression and manner showing he thinks this is right. "No days, but really I'm more concerned for you than for me on that score. Ras seems to only be able to catch old, weyrmated women who never go a second round. And it's only ever happened twice." Compared to Tela's several times a turn. "End of the day max, or morning," accounting probably for night flights. "Otherwise I might get jealous." An emotion he never felt before all this but that they've so recently had an example of. "Longer is fine, I guess, if it's one of your regulars." In so much as Solith has them. Of all the things Tela might say, humorous or otherwise, she sticks with a simple nod-- even if one of her dimples does manifest for a moment. Then she's back to listening closely, accepting for now. "Mmm. Wouldn't want you too jealous, no; there's only so much whiskey out there," which merits a mollifying kiss dropped lightly on the corner of his mouth. "Mm," the 'I have a thought' sound invades the end of the kiss, which was probably struggling anyway since he was smiling. "I think we can make an exception to policy if Ras ever catches Solith. I make no promise that I won't play hookie for the next seven if that ever happens." K'zin probably doubts it, what with his dragon's track record both for Solith and flights in general. That gets him a widening smile of hers. "You won't," Telavi assures with confidence. Except, wait for it... "Unless someone delivers food," and out come the dimples in earnest. There's laughter from K'zin and he takes a chance: will this be funny? "I wonder how T'volt would feel about bringing us breakfast in bed..." Maybe it's funny? "Can I hide under the covers?" Telavi wants to know, if after a split second that might be deciding-whether-it's-funny silence. There's no promise of staying still under the covers. "Asking a man to wait on you while you're in bed with your-" there's a little stumbling, "- girlfriend is one thing, but letting her go down on you while he's there," because what else would Tela be doing under the covers, "-sort of crosses the line into quasi-threesome territory. And that's probably a bridge better left uncrossed." K'zin concludes with a mixture of thoughtfulness and amusement. 'Probably,' the man says. "I just, you know, don't want to see the smirk," Telavi claims. "Oh, is that all." K'zin grins at her before leaning to kiss her in what starts simply and then becomes fairly intimate and loving. Maybe he just appreciates that, although he doesn't expect to have long conversations about T'volt with her, at least it's okay to joke about and he doesn't exactly have to hide things. Afterwards... afterwards, Telavi sighs, one of those happy sighs that loosens her breath even as she holds him more closely for a few moments. She doesn't lean on him, but rather shifts on his lap enough to murmur into his ear. "What makes you feel confident that you rank, K'zin?" "Mmm." The mmm is longer because K'zin has to rope his mind back from where his body had already begun to go. "I donno really." Helpful, right? But at least he goes on, "It was driving me crazy," obviously, "to see you smile and just-" he tries to find the right words, but the best he has is, "be you with them and be left wondering how far things went. Not knowing is the worst." As she probably well knows from his recent stay in Telgar. "'Be me.'" Telavi kisses him, and then kisses him again, in no hurry but with a quiet urgency. But then she stops, or maybe slows. "K'zin." Another kiss. "I'm sorry it was so hard." If possibly gratifying to hear... "So no regular for me, not like you have, not anytime soon and if there ever started to be we'd talk." There's some slow nodding in addition to the returned kisses. Maybe K'zin doesn't know what to say to the apology, because he doesn't comment. What he does say is contemplative, "Maybe it wouldn't have ended up mattering so much if you didn't know just about everything there is to tell about my sex life and when I asked you, you wanted to keep things secret. It felt like I was an open book and you were whatever the thing is in the restricted records that I'm not allowed to know. I don't like not knowing." It's hand in hand with the wondering of course. She listens, and when she blinks it's quickly, several times in succession. She nods, there at the end; though her mouth does curve a little at the comparison, it's also a little sad. "Maybe so." She can see it. "I hope you'll want to know... to ask... more of my non-sex life, too." "I do, don't I?" K'zin sounds less defensive than confused. "I ask about the weyrlings when you have them and stuff with Savannah." He shifts his arms so that instead of wrapping around her, his hands sit on her hips before starting to stroke a little way up the side. "Are there things I'm not asking about that I should be asking about? Or things I should be asking about more?" "Yes--" With his being less defensive than when this has come up before, there's less tension to be felt in her lithe frame, which isn't to say nonexistent; then Tela glances down towards one of his hands, bemused, and relaxes a little bit more. "Mmm. I mean... not interrogating, but--" her voice has become a little shy, though at least adding humor keeps it from being a lot; "You know that I didn't spring fully formed from my uncle's weyr?" "You know I don't really know how to not interrogate," K'zin complains, although there's still an edge of humor. "And I've asked you about your past before, but you've never seemed to want to talk about it. If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears." Telavi just can't argue with the first part, and yes, she's smiling again; for the rest, "That's the thing. I don't really want to talk about it-- but--" she shifts restlessly, and it might be a purposeful distraction except that she keeps talking after all. "But I suppose it's kind of... a thing. Maybe. I guess." And it's not as though he doesn't ask her about other things she's not so keen on discussing. "Do you want me to start asking now or--" K'zin's eye flick down to how Telavi is sitting in his lap, "-later?" Her gaze winds up following his before rising again to his face; her lips curve-- "I'm in no hurry--" until. Tela pauses. "There is the rest to figure out, of what we were talking about before..." They were talking about something other than how close their bodies are right now and how pesky clothes are to be keeping them that much farther apart? K'zin looks up as if he has no idea what she's talking about, expression silently asking that she fill him in. Does she have to? Tela might pout, just a little. Because, "I don't feel like thinking about them right now. Potential non-regulars. While you're regular-ing." The bronzerider looks confused. Maybe he's trying to sort her words, or maybe it's just that, "Tela, I haven't been with anyone. Well, not since we talked about things last. Just you and him." "And I haven't hardly at all, but-- do you want to go over hardly-at-all?" Tela feels like she has to ask. "Are they all over and done? Not to be repeated?" K'zin asks after a slow breath is taken. "What do you think would be fair," his words, "for when you're regular-ing?" hers. Telavi asks it gently, and valiantly sits pat, so as not to seem to sway an answer any way at all. The look on K'zin's face says she's lost him. "What?" Oh, K'zin. Telavi's gaze drops to his mouth like she's considering kissing him, or possibly like she can't believe he just said that, but given the affection in her eyes when she meets his.... "Remember when you said that it wasn't really fair if you had a regular-- him-- and I didn't? What do you think would be fair for me instead?" K'zin is looking a little like someone who found out just what tripe is after enjoying a hearty meal of it. Here's the catch at last. He looks at her. "I... don't know? What do you want?" Since she's already said not a regular for herself. Tela has to admit, "I'm not sure. I mean, it wouldn't be fair to you if I could do whatever with whomever whenever, even if I wanted to." Which it sounds like she doesn't. "Right? And we already figured out not any one person on a regular basis, to be special like that. And it's not even like there's anyone where I'm thinking, 'Oh, I really want to mess around with them!'-- but if I felt like I couldn't and you could..." she pulls a rueful face, exaggerating for humor for him. Unfortunately, he's frowning. Not only frowning, but shifting like he'd like to get up. "Then we're back to square one." And square one had him walking out and a lot of yelling. At least if they've gotten back there, it's less likely to be public, right? Humor drops away as she looks at him. "K'zin." Tela says his name strongly, her intent to claim his attention; she doesn't grab tight, but she certainly doesn't let go, preparing to be lifted if he tries to rise. "Look at me. Square one is not okay. It isn't fair to you." It's possible her interpretation of 'square one' may vary slightly from his. "We're going to figure out something better." That may or may not be a square at all. "Right, but me having a regular and you nothing isn't fair to you." The bronzerider seems to realize he's not going to be able to get up without her coming along for the ride, so he just stays put, but with a new dimension to his frown. "There isn't a good answer, Tela. Not that I can see." K'zin's eyes are pained when he looks at her, but his jaw is set. This is a look very reminiscent of the last time he broke up with her. If that's where this is going, it must be a new record. Girlfriend for less than three minutes and dumped. Is it possible to make it to three and a half? Maybe not. "'Better,'" Tela reminds. "We got through Silver Threads, didn't we?" That pinnacle of problem-solving, or.. also not. "How are we even supposed to know where to start," so apparently he's not unwilling, "when you don't even know what you want?" K'zin isn't entirely helpful, clearly, to the cause. "For starters," Tela says, "I do know that your jaw looks very strong, and I want to," she angles to precede words with actions, "kiss it." Telavi, exceedingly helpful. Then, rather than moving into full-on distraction, "All right. Let me think. So not regular, more like once in a while; or, anyway, knowing that I could since, after all, you do. But, you like to know, really know, it's not just whenever-means-anytime, right? and I would too if it were the other way around, so..." K'zin doesn't like it. That much is clear from the way his hands move from her hips and tries to disentangle Telavi from around him. "There isn't a way." Which is to say that he doesn't like the idea of Telavi maybe going off with whomever even once a seven or two. It's probably not that Tela wants him to want her to go off with someone, but-- this does make matters more difficult. Nor does she seem to want to be disentangled, not that she actively fights so much as makes that difficult or, at the very least less easy... until she moves to get up all on her own and start pacing. "What," Tela wonders in what might be a surprisingly non-sarcastic tone, "were you thinking I'd be doing while you were off having fun with someone else? Mending?" It's a real question. K'zin doesn't have a good answer, so he gets mad. "I don't know." He's up then and moving toward the ledge, only stopping because he probably remembers then that he doesn't have a dragon to come snag him and will have to wait for Ras to get the elevator dragon for him. Only... Ras doesn't want to get the elevator dragon. Ras wants this fight to happen. Maybe he'll let K'zin down once they've broken up. K'zin growls at the air in the direction of the ledge, huffing and turning back toward the greenrider. "It's not going to work, Tela. We want different things." The one good thing about his heading for the ledge: Tela may have to stifle her own frustrated ugh, but at least she gets to roll her eyes. It helps; by the time he turns around, she's crossed back to the hearth and is scooping up the glasses there, bringing them to the low table. "I'm hungry." Maybe she didn't hear him. Maybe she was distracted thinking about the food she's now retrieving from the drawer: the jerky, dried fruit and nuts, the flatbread recognizable from lunch that had cheese melted into it. Well, if she didn't hear him, obviously the matter is settled. K'zin heads for the ledge. Apparently, he's Not Hungry, which automatically makes all this serious. It's directly to Solith that he goes. "Solith, Rasavyth's being a jerk." That probably makes two out of two for the bronze pair. "Would you please take me down to the bowl?" He said please and everything. Obviously. While Solith's busy canoodling-- or so Telavi might like to call it, what with the erratically-whirling eyes smoothing into something more limpid as she lowers her slender muzzle towards him-- the greenrider herself makes headway with the most-perishable goods, albeit quickly, with little to no attention to flavor. And he still doesn't come back. She licks her dry lips, resorts to some water, and starts out after them. K'zin offers up a hand. He's never been especially physically expressive with her, probably because Rasavyth requires so little of him in this way under normal circumstances, but maybe the toll for the ride down is some sort of scratching. By the time Telavi makes it out onto her ledge, she's less hurrying and more strolling; by the time she makes it out, Solith's vocalizing a soft, barely-there croon as she rubs her chin on that hand, beginning to lower into a crouch-- the traitor. And Tela does indeed call Solith's behavior like she sees it; "Would you please stop canoodling with him?" she asks the dragon, who does stop crouching with a flick of her tail but that's about it. More quietly, "He says he loves me and I believe him, but he's giving up and it makes me sad because I love him too." K'zin's hand falls back to his side, his shoulders drooping, but he doesn't turn. "It would have been easier if you'd just said we should go back to how things were before when I asked how I should love you." Then, "You don't want a regular, and just anyone drives me crazy when I'm not with just anyone either. I'd give him up, but I'd only end up hurting you because I'd want something sometimes that you wouldn't enjoy even if we did have the means to do it." Can K'zin even fathom being with Telavi the way he is with T'volt? Probably not. "There is no happy medium. The only logical thing is to step back. Back to when we both were with anyone." Not that he sounds happy about that either. He talks; she walks, quietly. Eventually she stops, back to back with him; eventually she speaks. "K'zin-- I want something better for both of us, more like where we are now. Stepping back is worse, now. It feels away." She doesn't speak to his life with T'volt, not now. Rather, softly, "I'm not saying just anyone or just anywhen. I think, I really think that we can find some version that won't be crazy-making. And it's still not like I plan to, it's that I can cope better when you go to him if I can. Even when I haven't." Which is what she's been doing all on her own. K'zin turns abruptly, brows knit in concentration. Clearly, this is a very deep and thought-provoking topic. "What if you sent word before you did? And it wouldn't be a secret with whom? What if I wanted to know?" Because now that it turns out that she wants to continue on, maybe he would have a different answer for that 'hardly at all' question from earlier. "Or maybe not sent word, but like... I don't know, told me you might and then told me afterward if you did or not." He frowns. "Damned dragon." It would be easier if Rasavyth could be relied upon to relay messages instead of doing what he thinks would most likely lead to this crazy near-monogamous path they're on. That wanting to know quality that they both share. Tela starts to speak, then quiets without turning, though she's right there and can feel his voice as well as hear it. At the end, wryer than she'd like, "Yes." Except that might be misleading, so, "Messages would be nice." Solith huffs a breath and resettles in a heat-conserving curl; Tela looks back over her shoulder at the sound, but it's to him, not the dragon. Thinking, "I... could tell you when I thought I might. Yes. Names, they're harder," now she turns the rest of the way to him, searching his expression. "Do you think you could manage not to glower and glare at the hypothetical them? Or maybe that's asking too much," said with the first hint of a smile. "I think I can manage not to punch them. How's that?" Instead of glowering. "It's harder, I think, when it's not just one person. Because-- wait." K'zin backs up because there's a more important issue here. His arms cross over his chest and his jaw sets (that's how important it is). "No men." He eyes Telavi, waiting to see if there's argument. A dimple shows fleetingly-- but then, Tela had already confessed to liking a certain amount of that sort of thing; then, it vanishes. Tela regards K'zin with big, plaintive eyes. No men?! "No," is the out loud answer to plaintive eyes. "I go to him because he has different equipment. If you want something involving that kind of equipment, I want you coming to me." It's only fair. He doesn't say it, but it's implied. "Otherwise we might as well face facts that we're not built to be something more after all. And we can go back to the way things were before." Simple as that, right? Telavi can't help but ask winsomely, regardless of already guessing the answer, "Not even if you could punch them?" As though that could be fun. "No." This isn't a game to K'zin. He looks downright stern, which is something of a feat for him. For once, Tela doesn't push. She just nods. If she sighs, it isn't out loud. "No fucking men. Just women. Once in a while. And telling you." Maybe K'zin senses some kind of reluctance, or, worse, doesn't trust that she'll be true to what she says, because as his arms drop they make a sort of helpless gesture. "Look, the way I see it is that if I have a man on the side, you should be able to have a woman. You know exactly who it is I'm sleeping with, and usually when. If you want us to feel like it's fair, then some measure of all of that has to be reciprocated." It's the gesture that gets her even before he speaks; and then she's nodding, and he's using logic and not just logic. Feelings. "Yes," Tela agrees, and means it. Whether she can hold by it remains to be seen, but she'll really truly have to try. "Kiss me?" The look K'zin is giving her is wary. Wary and weary. It's just as likely that the bronzerider is having second thoughts because instead of kissing her, he's saying, "This is a bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking." Tela's brows go up even as her expression's cast down-- not into dejection or even acrimony but something closer to fatigue because really? She lifts a hand to brace the side of her forehead, her cheek. One of her braids is still tattered at the end where she'd started undoing it and never finished. Even Solith presses her wings shut, uneasily. "We only just figured out a plan, K'zin. Please don't tear it up now." K'zin sighs heavily and he sits down. Right there, on the very cold ledge. His hands move to rub across his face. "It's not us, Tela." Their plan is good (hahaha)! "It's Him." The bronzerider really looks like he wants to give up before waging the war. It's a moment later that K'zin's eyes are going wide and he's looking like he's in shock. He blinks, blinks, blinks up at Tela. In a voice that doesn't really believe itself, he says, "He's willing to make a deal. With you." Now Tela's looking at him because it is a cold, cold ledge without even the benefit of the fire; automatically she circles to stand to windward, putting him in her lee, folding her own arms; he continues and her expression goes blank. She doesn't even begin to misunderstand. "Again--" Her voice is never this rough. Then he speaks again, and there's white all around her eyes. "Tell me." K'zin's Adam's apple bobs visibly, and he licks suddenly dry lips. "He says he'll behave just as perfectly as you could wish of him and be as supportive as we'd want him to be of this--" The bronzerider frowns and clearly omits some description, "relationship," is the replacement, "and in exchange, he wants to know about Savannah. About what you do with them. For them. The things you find out." The man frowns for a moment and then his lips return to something more neutral and he twists to look up at the greenrider. For moments that are nothing like eternity, Telavi can hope against hope, lips slightly parted, yearning even as she goes paler and paler and paler. When he finishes, she's very still; she might not even breathe. Then she breaks; she leans to kiss him, there on the forehead, and she's already begun to weep. It might seem like a disheartened yes; but it's not. "I love you, K'zin," she says. "I will keep your secrets when you've gone and become Weyrleader somewhere, the two of you, and you've forgotten all about me. And I have to keep theirs." The tears fall and fall and fall and she starts to step back, back toward the edge of the ledge. Now K'zin is up and angry. "Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that!" He steps toward the greenrider. "When I've forgotten all about you?!" The man moves around her now, toward the edge of the ledge and looks over. Maybe he's thinking that if Solith won't give him a ride and Ras won't let him off the ledge until they've finished with each other, maybe trying solo flight is the better of his current options. Tela is no use to anyone. No wings have sprouted from her shoulders, and if anything she's crying harder. It doesn't help that K'zin turns back toward the greenrider, still angry. "Is my love a game to you, Telavi? As it is to Him? Do you think I would give two shits about who you were fucking if my love for you was the kind of thing I could forget in less than two lifetimes? Do you think He'd care if He didn't know how serious I am?" It really doesn't help, surprise surprise. There's a moment where Tela's gaze not only lifts but actually starts to focus, nearly in time to ask which two lifetimes... but no, there go the tears again because, "B-but you talked about stepping back and it's a bad idea like you'd give up on us and-- and--" at this rate she's going to get dehydrated really soon. "I've talked about that stuff because I'd rather have less of you than lose you entirely." K'zin's still angry when he says that, but he makes the mistake of continuing to look at her. Maybe it's all the water he's been drinking that makes him decide she needs to go back inside and get a drink, so he's moving toward her with every intention of scooping her up in his arms and carrying her there. As he goes, he's frowning and his tone is fairly annoyed still, though maybe more at the situation than at Tela herself, "I wouldn't give up on you. On us. I didn't before," in the end, "and I won't now. I just don't want to drive myself crazy and in turn drive you crazy and break us up forever. If I keep sleeping with other people, he'll leave us alone. That was the deal." The deal K'zin made the last time there needed to be such a deal made. In the end. It's not exactly that Telavi's too busy with the processing and sniffling to protest; it's also that K'zin's arms have been a good place to be for Turns now, even when he's being grouchy. "If it were anyone else," Tela says with a sniff, "I'd tell them that that is such a piece of shit line. Anyone else." Of course, if it were anyone else, she wouldn't still be here. "Look, I didn't choose the damned dragon, and it's not my fault he doesn't like you. Us. Whatever. I don't really think he cares one way or another about you, unless you're useful, but that's sharding well how he feels about everyone." Maybe even K'zin himself. "So, what do you want to do, Tela? We can go back to what we were doing or you can try to make a deal with him. Faranth knows I've got nothing left that he wants more than using me with others." Did he ever? Haven't all the deals Rasavyth's made with his rider really been a gift from the bronze? It probably would be better of K'zin didn't ask softly, "Would it be so bad? Telling us about Savannah? You would tell me some things anyway, it would just be-- more. And wouldn't that bring us closer together because I'd understand what you were doing?" He's trying to find a silver lining. Something that will make all this better somehow. Tela peers somewhat blurrily up at arguably-useful K'zin, then wipes her eyes with the back of her hand; she starts to reply, then stops, stiffening for a few moments before starting to get less tense again. It would be easy with words alone to think he was wheedling his way to Rasavyth's wants; but with his timbre, with their history... she sighs. "I'd love to," she admits, "and if it were just me whose behind could be on the line-- but I shouldn't have said as much as I did; I just told myself you're smart enough and saw enough of my comings and goings to guess, especially with what you'd been doing before, and I knew they were leaving--" Then, abruptly, "What about getting us into Savannah?" There's a moment then that K'zin is frowning. This must be K'zin's idea, not Rasavyth's, so now it's actively a two sided discussion. This frown isn't one that Tela seems to mind; "That's an idea." And wryly, because it shouldn't have to be like this-- this quid pro quo-- "Would we get what we want for trying?" It might be a funny moment under any other circumstances when K'zin says, "He's results oriented." So, not try, but do. "And he' says the deal would be void if he gets the sense that Suireh's Dad had some sort of warning about him or that we're being given busywork. That last would bother me too; maybe it's doing F'manis' paperwork in the first place that prompted the idea. Telavi pulls a face; of course he is. But, "I'd like that anyway, your joining up," she admits. "And I know he'd keep his interests in mind," that's a mild way of putting it, "but you'd still work hard for R'hin and the wing, it sounds like? With your not wanting busywork?" She regards his expression, glancing away only briefly to check how far they've gotten. "As long as R'hin," R'hin this time, not just Suireh's Dad, "is working for the Weyr, then we all want the same thing, right? It's been so long since I've been in Taiga, I don't think I'd quite remember what to do, and neither Ras nor I were fooled when K'del told us at graduation when he tapped us that wingseconding might be in our future, and certainly not after so long a time away. I'd rather be useful, somehow." So that's probably a yes from K'zin. Now that they're inside, he's moving toward the water and he'll shift to deposit her on her feet when they get there. "He is," Telavi's positive, and there might even be faith there. "Useful and decorative, imagine that." She doesn't protest being set down, though she could; rather, she busies herself with washing her face and then just sighing at her hair. "Do you want to approach him? Or would that give away that you," air quotes, the lightweight linen towel fluttering, "know things?" While Tela washes her face, K'zin moves to find her brush and return with it. Well-trained. That's probably the real reason Telavi doesn't want things to end; think of the training involved to get a replacement. Ugh. He even shifts to take it carefully to her hair, those parts that are currently brush-friendly. "You know him better than I do. What would you suggest?" Drinking follows, of water even, and then after a sideways glance at K'zin, Tela sits on the edge of the bed with her back to him; once he's started in on her hair, the next, renewed sigh is considerably more content. Well-trained indeed. "What's all right to tell him? Of your... more unusual skills? He'd probably be interested in your smithing too, though I'm sure he doesn't need a hair-stick." "Are you sure? I mean, his hair," K'zin answers with a tentatively teasing lilt to his voice. Then more seriously, "Tell him what you like, what you think would be useful. I can't say our encounters are going to help the cause, necessarily. I wouldn't want you saying over much about Ras. That he's intelligent, sure. But probably not about his ambitions. I'm certain he wants K'del leading the Weyr, not that I blame him, and not that I'm looking to depose K'del," Rasavyth would of course add a 'yet,' "But that's not really something I'm up for talking about with him." The quip gets a slight cough that verges on a chuckle. "All right." Tela, thinking. She notes after a few silent moments, "It's not as though your dragon's not bronze, so even if he notices on his own, I wouldn't think it would be a surprise." Just the extent-- maybe. She tilts her head, giving access to a braid she's begun to loosen in preparation. "I'll..." need to refer to him as something, "...figure something out." But there's no immediate rush, not when she has to yawn, and she does. "Ambition can be threatening. Can muddy the waters." K'zin observes as he works the brush through her hair. "He says he'll give us time. But that we shouldn't take too long." He shifts to lean to kiss her, but only briefly. "So to review. If he gets what he wants, you're my girlfriend, I'm your boyfriend. I only sleep with him otherwise. When I'm off with him, you can find a female partner, and just let me know. Ras will pass it along. And I can know who it was if I want. No secrets. Well, that kind of secret. Do I have it all right?" Her eyes open again at that, and for a moment her lips curve up beneath his; afterward, she busies herself with re-plaiting some of her brush-smoothed hair. "So businesslike. The titles," air quotes but one-handed, "are if he gets his way, or you think the whole thing is? I don't know about when you're off with him specifically, that seems sort of... reactionary? ...but not more frequently, no. And, all right, names if you want," only it ends in a somewhat rising note because she's pausing to listen more than, necessarily, stopping. K'zin's brow furrows, "But you said..." The brush stops and it taps against his thigh as he rocks back for a little bit of distance. "You asked what I thought you were going to do when I was off with him? So I thought you meant to-- at the same time as--" He looks confused mostly, though not altogether thrilled. This is so complicated. "Shells, maybe we should really just forget the whole thing and fuck whoever and just know we love each other. Maybe that'd save us a lot of headaches and possible failures." Telavi is tired. "We'll figure it out," would verge on a plea if she weren't adding all the confidence she can summon, turning her head to look back at him that much more. "Then it won't be complicated anymore. We've got the outline; we don't have to decide every detail right now, we can default to what you were thinking...." Echoes of class resonate through her voice, of studying on his shaggy rugs. "...And in the meantime, rest. Be us." She tips her head to unfasten the laces at her cuffs, at her throat; it isn't a show of seduction or even playfulness, just... loosening. "No, I don't think so," K'zin disagrees. "Thinking things were or should be one way when they're then not is how we got into trouble. And if we default to what I'm thinking and then go back and compromise," does he really know the meaning of that? "to something less good, how is that any different than going back to what we originally planned." Which, by the way, seems increasingly like less work to the bronzerider. "Would you know I still loved you as I do if we were both sleeping with other people?" Sleep is for the weak... and smart. "I hope so. But when you haven't been, then if you did--" Tela had started to turn the rest of the way towards him, but now stalls out, head lowered; maybe he can't see the quick blinking that way. She's so tired. "I don't think it would feel good. I don't think it would feel good at all. It would matter and it never used to matter, not with anyone, not once I knew what I was doing, except somewhere in the last Turns it started mattering with you." Her gaze verges on accusing. Clearly he did this. With his K'zin-ly ways. Or something. "Maybe you can turn that off but-- if you didn't care I think it would feel like you didn't care," and here she's tossing up her hands because there's nothing she can do. It was probably his virginal innocence; it has a way of attracting temptresses. He places the hair brush next to the water pitcher and steps to slip his arms around her waist and pull her gently against him at the hip. "You could have just said no, love." It was, in fact, a yes or no question. K'zin leans to press a kiss to her forehead. "I think I have it. The issue is that you don't want to be reacting always to what he and I have planned, right? So let's allow for you to tell me you want to go out for that sort of thing and I'll try to plan with him around you in those instances and if I can't, we can deal with that on a case by case basis too? I'd rather be busy, like you, if you're off with someone else. Does that solve it?" A slow-acting toxin, showing up when one least expects it! "Mmph." That might be embarrassment. Never let it be said that Telavi will answer a question with 'yes' or 'no' when she can throw words at it-- or maybe it's that that's how she finds out her answer. Then, slowly, she begins to settle in the circle of his touch as he talks. And then she's nodding, a categorical yes, even though that makes her embarrassed again. Tension leaves K'zin's frame. Not entirely but mostly. "Then it's settled." For real! "Now, let me take you to bed before we discover any more things that might keep us away from it." And after a kiss, he'll do just that. And if, unaccountably awake in the middle of the night, Telavi finds herself realizing that this is totally the payback from teasing Leahsa back when they were both fifteen... well, maybe she really shouldn't have made the girl cry. (Not that that stops her from curling even closer to K'zin and contentedly going back to sleep again.) |
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