Logs:K'del Was Tired
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| RL Date: 10 July, 2011 |
| Who: K'del |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: K'del was tired. |
| When: Day 7, Month 3, Turn 26 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Emmeline/Mentions, Milani/Mentions |
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| K'del was tired. The muscles in his shoulders and neck were tense and aching, knotted up until it felt like he could barely moved. It had been-- the past few months had been awful. That summed it up pretty well, didn't it? He'd felt awful when he stormed out of the weyr that evening, leaving Milani to deal with a tantrum-having Nikalas on her own: he just couldn't deal with it. Not that he managed to read anything when he made it into the (blissfully quiet) records room, not even after Emmeline left and he was feeling... slightly better, anyway. He wanted to throw it in and have a new life. One where he didn't have to worry about crazy exiles, some of whom made Tiriana look like the sanest, most level-headed woman ever. He wished Cadejoth hadn't caught Iovniath, though by now, it wasn't as though he was surprised when he had. Seems like we're stuck in this, he told himself, wondering whether, maybe, he should just arrange to Not Be There, next time. But next time was turns away, and instead of that, there was Right Now, and Right Now sucked a great deal. He gave up on the reading, and went for a walk through the bowl, instead. He'd left his jacket in the weyr, which meant it was bitterly cold: he ran to try and keep from freezing, finding himself enjoying the pounding of feet upon snow, the thud-thud-thud of his heart. He wasn't getting enough exercise; neither was Cadejoth. The bronze was happier, now, with eggs on the sand-- or would have been, if not for that ghastly incident. Even the bronze, so rarely angry, still fumed. He barely left the sands, no matter how boring it was. There would be no more incidents. Maybe letting the exiles Stand had been a mistake. But Cadejoth had liked Emmeline. He hadn't been lying when he Searched the girl: Cadejoth had been at him, in his mind, pushing and pushing until he'd asked her. Part of him felt guilty about the whole thing, and honestly, he wasn't sure why. He felt guilty about a lot of these, things days. Guilty, and sometimes angry. If only they'd never found the damn exiles; things would be easier, then. There'd be a clutch they'd have to dig up candidates for, sure, but it was always easier when there was a gold egg. Though... K'del worried about that gold egg, too. Four queens was unheard of in Interval. It was probably a good number for a weyr in the middle of the pass, nice and healthy, but in Interval? It sent a chill through him that had nothing to do with the air outside. Everyone always said the dragons knew what was needed, but honestly, he had to wonder what the shell was going through their reproductive systems at the moment. That fucking broken egg. He couldn't get it out of his head. It was hardening now, along with the rest of them, that faint indentation never to be worked smooth again. What if the dragon inside hatched wrong, somehow? What if it were deformed or broken? What if it didn't hatch? Shivering, he crossed back towards the weyrleader complex, regarding the lights on in his weyr with a guilty sigh. He wanted to be a better father. He wanted to have more time for Nik, and for Kase. He wanted to have more time for Milani. He hadn't had time for anyone else in a long time - and he kind of missed that. But when it's exhausting enough just getting home of an evening... when I have to fight to keep my eyes open long enough to spend time with the woman right there beside me... Shells. There's just no way. Maybe things would get better, soon. Easier. He honestly couldn't think how that could possibly happen - but he hoped for it with all he had in him. No more disasters. No more fights. No more... just let me have some time to rest. Taking a deep breath, he climbed up the steps towards his weyr. He pushed past the tapestry that protected the inside from the outdoors. He crossed to find Milani, to find his son. He apologised, kissing the (now sleeping) toddler on the forehead, his girlfriend on the mouth. Maybe tomorrow would be better. |
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