Logs:Late Night Troubles
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| RL Date: 17 February, 2015 |
| Who: K'del |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: After his encounter with Irianke, K'del has a sleepless night. |
| Where: K'del's Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 15, Month 1, Turn 37 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Ali/Mentions, Alida/Mentions, Azaylia/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, Irianke/Mentions |
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| The trouble was, really, that she was right: K'del needed a break. He'd spent so long worrying about Azaylia and her workload without a junior, but it was equally true that he needed a Weyrsecond... and he'd had no excuse in not hiring one. It was enough to keep him awake that night, staring at the ceiling, hopelessly conscious of his failings. He was conscious of a lot of things, these days. That he didn't have time to be the father he wanted to be; that he'd said things to Devaki that he regretted, now, after everything; that he was afraid of letting go of High Reaches, afraid of what could happen, and, at the same time, so hopelessly conscious of his own hubris in feeling that. He'd been so angry over the whole stupid Alida thing. How dare she do that? Who did she think she was? He'd wanted to tear her apart, afterwards; he'd had to restrain his instinct. That he had to see her in drills, now, every day, just made it worse. He didn't like to think about what Glacier thought of the whole business, or how they'd taken the apology he'd demanded she offer them. He hoped she'd followed his orders. ... he didn't like to consider finding out, yes or no. In the end, he hauled himself out of bed for the second time. Tomorrow would be a long day, but he was too awake, now, to really fall asleep. There would be another baby, soon. Another person to add to his life; another responsibility. He couldn't wait... and he also couldn't cope with the possibility. Something had to give. Sometimes he wondered if it would be him. If, one day, it would all be simply too much and he'd... what. Walk away? He didn't know how. He'd never known how. But the idea of bringing someone else in... of letting go, even that little bit... he'd always managed fine in the past. Was it just age? That was a depressing possibility. He stepped out onto the ledge, staring out over the snow-covered, late-night Weyr. Cadejoth lifted his head, angling it towards his outstretched hand; it was a moment of synergy, in a way. But the questions lingered on, unanswered. "What do we do, Cadejoth?" « What we've always done. » It was easy, Cadejoth implied. It was as it always had been. « What we always will. I trust you. » It took him back to simpler times... simpler times when, he acknowledged, he'd thought they were anything but. When they were weyrlings; later, before Iovniath's flight. It was hard to imagine, now. How young they'd been. He would have to hire a Weyrsecond. But he couldn't hire someone and then leave, not even to go to Ali's side; it just wouldn't work. Whoever it was would need time to grow into the job, to understand how things needed to work. Anything could happen, if he stepped away. Anything. He couldn't have that. |
Comments
K'zin (12:59, 18 February 2015 (EST)) said...
<3
Edyis (00:41, 19 February 2015 (EST)) said...
I always love K'del Vignettes, I think because in many ways because it shows that yes, while he is a man who has outlasted several Senior Weyrwoman, he's also very human.
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