Logs:Letters
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| RL Date: 21 April, 2009 |
| Who: A'son |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| When: Day 10, Month 7, Turn 19 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Milani/Mentions |
| After A'son dropped Milani off in the bowl, he felt a mix of emotions whirl through him. His first destination was the back of weyr, where that bed was. He stopped at the divider, staring down at it with a mix of trepidation and guilt. How was he going to sleep in there? He'd have to, he couldn't get rid of it. That would look more than awful if he tried to return it now. With feet composed entirely of lead, he stepped down and went to it. It was there that he noticed the folded letters on the blue comforter. He swallowed hard as he picked it up, knowing it to be the same pieces of papers he'd mailed back to her only days before. He hadn't read them then. He did now. Ays, Sleeping beside you was everything I've ever wanted. Waking up without you, knowing you were gone and weren't coming back, broke my heart. Since you came back, every day I've hoped to look up and find you at my door looking at me the way you used to. When you said it was the end for now though, I took that to heart. I set things aside for a while, but then I tried to live my life the way you said I should. I tried not to hope. I kept reminding myself 'just friends'. And then you flipped my desk around and I started to hope all over again. Until you tossed the bed out. And then I got your note and I understood and started to hope yet again, just a little. Last night was for just a little while, everything I'd dreamed of since you came back to the Reaches. All I've ever wanted, since I was fifteen, even so young, is a life with you. I didn't really understand what that meant when I was younger. I hope that all that time you were at Ista, that turn when I was yours and yours alone /proved/ that I get it now. It doesn't matter if I've slept with one or half a dozen other men while we were apart, because no one has come even close to taking my heart. I've been yours for turns. All of this back and forth though, not knowing what you really want from me on top of everything else is slowly breaking me. I want to be with you. Just you. Always. But one week it seems like that's what you want too, then the next you don't seem to want me at all and you're throwing beds around and walking out on me after we've just made love. Just tell me, please, for once and for all: do you love me? Because if you know, if you want the same thing I do, then I'm right here, ready, waiting for you to say 'yes' so we can put all of the crazy mistakes behind us and have that life I've always dreamed of. There's no one in the world I'd rather wake up next to. I want to roll over every day for the rest of my life and find you beside me. I want to make jokes together about your walking cane and my wooden teeth. I want to see that funny thing your face does when you're about to get off. I want to bump shoulders and whisper silly things and make you laugh. I want to walk with you and tell you all the stupid things about my day and listen to yours and know that even when things are that stupid, that it doesn't matter because you'll listen and care anyway and so will I. I don't know what went wrong yesterday or if I said or did anything that made you run away. But Ays, please, stop running away, please don't leave me again. Stay with me? Stay with me always? Your Millie There was a lump in his throat as he let himself sink down onto the bed. A pain he didn't expect to feel coursing over him as he refolded them. He slipped them into his pillow case. Laying down stiffly on the bed she'd made up for him, he ran his fingers across the blanket. They stopped when they encountered a stray piece of hair. Much longer than his, reddish. Hers. He wound it around his finger and laid his head down on the pillow, where he fell asleep into a restless slumber. |
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