Logs:Malfunctioning Medicine
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| RL Date: 11 August, 2013 |
| Who: Madilla, Tayte |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Madilla's herbs are not 100% effective. |
| Where: Infirmary, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 1, Month 7, Turn 32 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Anvori/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, Dilan/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, H'vier/Mentions, K'del/Mentions, Lilabet/Mentions, Markarin/Mentions, Yvalia/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Played via gdocs. |
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| Infirmary, High Reaches Weyr Two sets of double doors, one from the the inner caverns and a recently built set from the dragon infirmary, lead into the unnaturally hushed human infirmary. Despite fastidious cleaning, the scent of redwort and numbweed has long since soaked into every smooth-carved surface, along with other, subtler medicinal smells. Pristinely made cots are lined up against the walls; most of them are left open to view, but some in the back are surrounded by curtains for delicate procedures or critical patients. About halfway between the two entrances is the counter for the healers on duty; it guards the entrance to the storage rooms just beyond, their shelves and cabinets lined with meticulously labeled bottles, boxes, jars, and even vats of supplies. The Weyrhealer's office is also here, along with another side room for mixing up medicines and the like.
Madilla slides the curtain open to step back into the little examination cubicle; she slides that same curtain closed again behind her, and sits, pressing her hands to her lap. There's been nothing but professional sympathy in her expression, up until now, and that doesn't change - but there's also a hesitation, now, something that's making her a little uneasy. "Well," she says, with that quirk-lipped smile of hers. "Have you... did you end up taking those herbs I gave you, last time, Tayte?" "Yes, dutifully." Tayte answers. Which might not strictly be the truth, but... "Am I having a bad reaction to them or something?" She queries, "Do I need to stop taking them?" The bartender who is so keen of awareness can't be ignorant to the hesitation and the fact that something's making Madilla uneasy, but maybe if she blithely ignores it, it will go away. Again, there's that hesitation; again, Madilla seems to be struggling to put her words together. "No, no," she says, finally. "It's just... I told you, when I gave them to you, that they're not one hundred percent accurate. It's mostly fine, but, well, the only sure way to never get pregnant is to refrain altogether. Which is to say..." She bites at her lip, takes a big breath, and finally comes out with it: "You're pregnant, Tayte." It can't really come as that much of a shock to her, can it? She had sex. She's been feeling out of sorts this seven. She's late. There's enough paired with her crippling fear of just exactly this that would lead her to think it before Madilla says it, right? Nevertheless, Tayte's mouth drops open. She's not prone to emotional outbursts, but tears spring instantly to eye and overflow. There are no sobs though. Her breath quickens and the look on her face goes from shock to panic before she buries her face in her hands. "Not again!" comes the muffled moan. Madilla is up and out of her chair within the first moment of Tayte's reaction; she crosses towards her, crouching on the ground, and reaching up to touch the Vintner's shoulder. "I'm sorry that it's not pleasant news for you," she murmurs. "I'm so sorry." The tears aren't there when Tayte unburies her face to stare at Madilla. There's disbelief on her face in spite of everything. "But Maddy, I only was with one guy and it was only a couple of--- a few-- Well, nevermind, how many times isn't important," Or is it? "I-- How can this happen? I mean, I know how but, how? I must be the most sharding fertile woman on the face of Pern. Or maybe it's him. Or just the combination of me and him." And then there's rambling, "I mean, if it's another Vali, because he could've been the one, then that wouldn't be so bad, right? I mean, not exactly what I anticipated but I love Vali and if she- he- it-- this one has the same parents, it might be just as good, right?" And are there awful babies? "But. Why?" This is really what she meant with how. She looks imploringly toward Madilla as if the Healer might have an answer. How many times has Madilla been part of a conversation like this, comforting a woman faced with a surprise like this... when she, herself, would probably be grateful for such a surprise? But there's no sign of that in the healer's expression: just sympathy and understanding. "I don't know why," she admits. "I wish I did. Dee was a surprise for me, too-- but we've talked about that. Sometimes, it just happens. Often, it works out for the best, even when it doesn't seem like it will. You love Yvalia; you would love this baby, too. Will." Tayte lapses into silence, listening. She's too consumed with her own feelings to heed what she might imagine the healer to be feeling. She stays silent and rocks a little on the cot, forward and back. Then eyes flick up to the redhead's face. When she speaks, it's clear from her tone that she's not speaking to her healer now, but to her friend. "What do I do? I mean, I'm keeping it, obviously. That's not what I mean. I mean... what do I do about him?" She reaches up to tug at the tips of her blonde locks. "I-- there hasn't been another man for me. So it has to be him. I've not told him about Yvalia because he's only one of a handful it could be. So I never had to really consider it. But this one--" She can point the finger at the father. "Do I-- should I-- tell him?" Madilla is not surprised by Tayte's intention to keep the baby, and if the Vintner is talking to her friend and not the healer, she'll even allow herself to look pleased and approving for it, though neither of those emotions linger long upon her features. Her lips part as the Vintner continues, but it doesn't seem to be because she has something to say; even after she's finished talking, the healer is silent for some seconds. Finally, "I don't know. You know I kept my secret for the better part of five turns, but I can't tell you whether that was for the best or not. It's hard to share, later. But... do you want him in this child's life? That's the key." "Do I? Is that really my choice to make? Vali wanted a daddy. So she went and found herself one," And there's suddenly ache in Tayte's voice for that. Whether it's about her not being enough for her own daughter or for what has transpired since with said 'Daddy', well... "I don't think he'd want a child, or even care that he had one, but is it my place to keep my child from their father if they want one? I don't think I can expect K'del to want to adopt this one too. And I don't think I can expect this one to want to grow up without a father. So... does he have rights? The father? To know? To choose if he wants to be in her life?" Her alto holds confusion and is indicative of her inexperience with this whole crazy fathers concept. "I don't even know if my blood mother told my blood father about me before I was given up for fostering." Which might be the start of her befuddlement on the topic. It's not an easy question - set of questions, really - to answer, and the weight of it all has Madilla settling back onto the floor, her head tilted up so that she can look at Tayte, her arms wrapping around her gently padded shoulders. "I don't know," she says. "I know that Lily hurts, sometimes, because it used to be that neither of them had a father, but at least she knew she'd had one. Now Dilan has Devaki, and she... she's building a relationship with H'kon, at least, but it's hard. I don't know what the answer is, Tayte. In an ideal world, I would say of course, all children need a father. But is a father who doesn't care really better than none at all?" Tayte doesn't seem to have a good answer for that. Of course, neither of them really have answers in this situation. And who would, in their place? Maybe people with less complicated lives. "He didn't notice last time. But then, he didn't remember last time. I'm fairly certain he does remember this time. I can't imagine he thinks I'm only sleeping with him, but don't you think he'd be suspicious? I don't know that I could out and out lie about it, and I don't much fancy the position of being the one to be asked about it." She scrubs across her face with a hand again. "So I guess that's my answer. I take control of the situation before it's out of mine. I tell him. Just because I tell him doesn't have to mean anything, right? It can just mean that I didn't not tell him." She looks hopeful, even if there's that part of her expression that doesn't believe the words. Madilla presses her lips together partway through Tayte's words, but finally, ultimately, nods. "I think that's the right thing to do then," she confirms. "You tell him, and you see what he says. If he doesn't want to be this child's father, well, at least then you'll know. You don't even need to ask him for anything, really. It could simply be a courtesy. And you know, of course, that if there's anything I can do to help, I will." She gives Tayte a tentative smile. "It will all work out, I'm sure of it. I know it's a shock, but... think of Vali. You can't imagine life without her, now, can you?" Tayte's smile is grateful, and she reaches down to touch Madilla's elbow lightly. "No. I can't imagine life without her. And thank you. I'm sure I will need help. I'm--" She takes a deep breath, "I'm not sure I can do this here though. Go through it here. There's--" Her nose wrinkles, "Too much stress. Do you-- do you know somewhere that there would be a good healer? Someone like you? Somewhere I could go for a while? Maybe-- sort of-- secretly? So the stress doesn't follow me?" She looks awkward about this request, but there it is. The touch to her elbow has Madilla's mouth twisting, her head nodding. A low breath escapes after that, but it's not - apparently - a disapproving one, just thoughtful. "I'm not sure," she says. "I can give it some thought, perhaps even talk to some of my former classmates; make arrangements. But... don't forget that you take the risk of miscarriage if you between at this point in your pregnancy. Be careful." "Maybe somewhere nearby. I-- might have a rider friend that would fly me straight somewhere. Even if it takes a few days." The woman looks thoughtful for a long moment. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure she would fly me straight. I'd appreciate it if you could think of someone who wouldn't be like that awful healer at Ista." Madilla knows of whom she speaks. The one that would be sitting here advising Tayte that a miscarriage would be best for everyone, so between all she likes. "I've betweened since. So I guess I got lucky." Or unlucky, but the fact that she says 'lucky' means she's at least trying to have a positive outlook on this. "No one I recommend to you will be anything like that Healer at Ista," is Madilla's stoney-faced promise. "I'll make up a list of possibilities. Let me know where you decide to go, and I can make the arrangements. If you've a friend willing to take you, that's all the easier. I wouldn't recommend travelling by boat, not in the early stages of pregnancy. In truth, it's more difficult to miscarry via between than we like to suggest it is; we don't want people taking unnecessary risks. Sometimes, even deliberately long trips don't work." It's probably more information than Tayte needs, and the healer seems to recognise that, belatedly. "We'll work things out. Don't worry about any of it, Tayte. I promise." "I'll go wherever there's someone good. Preferably somewhere warm. That isn't Ista." If that helps narrow things down. "I'll write the Hall for a hiatus, talk to Anvori, get my plans in order. But I'd like to keep just where I'm going a secret. Please." Tayte requests it softly. "Maybe I'll come back before it's over, but I just can't handle-- I need to come to terms with it before I have to deal with other people coming to terms with it." She hopes that makes sense, but doesn't ask if it does; she probably doesn't want to know if it doesn't. Madilla is silent and visibly concerned, but she nods nonetheless. "I hope you come back," she says, quietly. "I would miss you, if you didn't. I'll get you that list as soon as I can, then, and you can-- work it out from there. You don't even need to tell me where you decide to go, if that's easier for you. You can write to the people I suggest, and tell them I gave you their name - that should be enough." She stands, now, drawing herself carefully up from the floor. "I understand, though. All of it. I don't judge you for it." Tayte's lips curve into a smile, "Well, I'll definitely come back at some point. I've only just asked for a transfer to come here, and I'm not going to let that oaf Markarin think he's gotten the best of me. I just meant part of the pregnancy versus all of the pregnancy." The blonde smiles, "Maybe you'll find time to come visit me in whatever lovely spot we find for me, though. Bring the kids, we'll have some fun." As much fun as one can have when busy making another human being. "Unless you'd rather I didn't tell you? I'm not-- going to be completely honest about where it is to others. I don't want to put you in an awkward position." Which she may have just done by saying as much, but no need for Madilla to worry too. Of this one thing, Madilla is absolutely sure. "I may not much like secrets in a lot of cases, Tayte, but if you trust me with yours, I'll keep it without hesitation. A Healer has every right to withhold information about her patient. If you'd like us to visit, I'm sure we can manage. I'll just have to remind the kids not to tell anyone where they saw Vali." She stretches, and gives Tayte a smile. "If you like, I'll even come to there for you during the birth." Tayte's smile blossoms warmly now, gratefully. "You have no idea how much I would appreciate you doing that for me, Madilla. The secrets and the birth." She reaches out to find Madilla's hand and gives it a little squeeze before dropping her hand away. She pushes up onto her feet then. "I think I will be happy about this. But I'm going to need some time to get there. Since Vali's with the sitter anyway, I think I'll take the night to go sob in my room. A good cry might help." And it's not going to hurt her any. "I might even stop in the kitchen and see if I can't bargain for some of my favorite things. Want to give me a healer's note? 'Dear baker, please give Tayte whatever she wants. It's medically necessary.'" For all that she's not there yet, she endeavors to be a fiercely positive person, and here it manifests as humor. In reply, Madilla's hand gives a squeeze of it's own. "I understand," she says, simply. "Sometimes crying is the only thing that does help. I find it cathartic. Frankly - and don't abuse this, mind! - if you tell the kitchens I sent you, they'll probably do anything to oblige. Somewhere along the line, they seem to have adopted me." Overly earnest, desperately shy teenage Madilla no doubt did a lot to endear herself to them. "If you need anything else in the meantime, you know where to find me. Day or night." There's a laugh from Tayte for the the sharing of this leverage. "Of course they did." She's not surprised, not even a little. The blonde nods, "Yes. Thanks. I'll stop by next seven to see about the list? Anything other than the standard healer warnings you need to tell me to feel your duty is done?" "Just--" and Madilla smiles. "Look after yourself. You're allowed to indulge yourself, while you're pregnant. Don't feel unwilling to take the time you need to, or eat the food that feels palatable, or... whatever it is that needs to be done. Look after yourself. And I'll see you next seven, if not before." "I wonder if pregnant women get a break from all this rationing and stew?" Tayte asks aloud, her expression fringed with hope that at least something immediately good will come out of this. It's rhetorical though, as she's smiling and waving a hand to Madilla as she slips out of the alcove, no doubt to go hit up the kitchens and then do just as she said: have a good, solid, maybe several-day-long cry. And Madilla? She tidies up her papers... and delivers a very carefully worded warning to one of her apprentices about not interrogating people too hard with regards to her present research project. |
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