Logs:Medical Mysteries
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| RL Date: 9 June, 2013 |
| Who: K'zin, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: K'zin has questions about Seani's death. Madilla has some reluctant answers. |
| Where: Weyrhealer's Office, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 7, Month 13, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Aishani/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, Iolene/Mentions, K'del/Mentions, Raum/Mentions, Seani/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Backdated. |
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| Weyrhealer's Office, High Reaches Weyr
A kettle hangs above the little hearth that provides warmth to the room, with a small shelf next to it where a collection of teas, as well as mugs and spoons, can be found.
She does open the door, which isn't usually her way - she's usually quick to offer a welcome - but evidently she was nearby; certainly, it happens within a matter of seconds after he knocks. His fancy leathers, and his position, give Madilla pause, but not apparently in a negative way; she smiles. "Don't you look fancy, now. Come in, K'zin. How are you feeling?" She's already on her way towards the little hearth, where the kettle is almost always ready for tea. "Oh. Hi." K'zin ends up with a sheepish grin on his face. Apparently, he wasn't expecting her to open the door either. His hands drop to his sides and he's stepping back. The sheepish grin only becomes more so as she notes is new leathers, a slight blush touching his cheeks, "Yeeeah. Ras had them commissioned for me with his share of the winnings from the hatching bet I made." He comments as he follows her in, careful to close the door behind him. "I'm feeling great. A new man." His tone is playful, but when she looks at him (as she inevitably sometime will), he'll add a more serious, "Really." Then, "How've you been?" "Did he now? Nice to have a dragon who shares his winnings like that." If Madilla still finds this an unusual sequence of events, well, she's not prone to showing such things in her expression, and even her words are nothing more than gently warm. "Really. Well, I hope so. Don't overdo it, even now. The last thing we want is you relapsing as we head into the worst of winter. I'm fine. It's a busy season for us, but not as bad as it has been in previous turns." Conversationally, her head still turned over her shoulder to look at him, as her hands busy themselves with hot water and tea, "I didn't think I'd see you back in here for a long time, after your incarceration." "Yeah. He's really generous." K'zin rolls his eyes, "Should see some of the other stuff he wants me to wear." He snorts, obviously there is some clash in fashion senses on-going between dragon and rider. He finds his way to one of the chairs and plops down in it, too many turns of asking if there's anything he can do to help with the tea and there being nothing for him to offer now. "I'm being careful. Wouldn't like to add to your workload. I heard some of the Smiths came down with something nasty. So I'm even staying out of the forge for the time being." His thumbs twiddle together as his hands rest on one knee, sort of an odd pose for the teen. "We've been practicing our betweening. Another seven or so and I should be able to go places unescorted, even. Ras is a natural at it. He was due for something like that tho' after being no good at taking off or landing or exercising or hunting or-" He waves a hand, "You get the idea." There's been lots of room for improvement when it comes to the physical aspects of being a dragon. "I wasn't going to, but I'm having too much time on my hands, really, so I was hoping to start up my anatomy and advanced first aid lessons again with your apprentices, if that would be alright? I mean, if they're too busy what with the season, I'd understand." It might, in fact, behoove his plan if that were the case, not that this is let on from his sweetly schooled expression. This time, he's playing it just right. Hopefully. Madilla's mouth twitches for that idea, but she makes no remark on it. Two mugs of tea are brought to the table, one to set in front of the weyrling, the other for her to take with her to her own seat, nursed between both hands once she's settled down. "That must be exciting," she says. "Being able to go anywhere you want, anytime you want. Just another reminder that weyrlinghood won't last forever, right?" Her gaze slides towards the door, as if she wishes she could look through it, out towards the infirmary, where her apprentices are (hopefully) hard at work. "They've got exams next seven," she says. "They'll be leaving for the Hall, soon. Given the time of turn, it might be easier to wait until the beginning of turn thirty-two. If that's acceptable?" K'zin leans forward to pick up his tea, "Thank you," He lifts it a little to indicate the cause of the thanks. He blows on it lightly. "It is pretty exciting, I guess. I mean, I don't really want to travel. But..." The teacup is replaced on the tabletop and the weyrling leans forward, his expression becoming intent. "The more time goes on, the more I know that I can't hope to help-- I can't even hope to understand my home, this Weyr until I know more. There's too much I don't know and don't understand. And I know and respect that there are things I shouldn't know, that it would be better for no one to know," Beat. "The world can be a dangerous place if a person gets too nosy. But it can also be dangerous if one doesn't know enough." And where is all this going? "Mads, I respect you." Too much to outright manipulate, "You've always been willing to guide me when I needed it and willing to let me learn on my own when I need to." He sucks in a deep breath, "I need to ask you for information. And you're not going to want to, but I'll tell you upfront that I'm not going to just drop this. So if not from you, I'll find it another way." Another way that might be headstrong and foolish. Like some other weyrlings in his class. Madilla's expression turns from pleased and content to thoughtful, and then to outright concerned as K'zin continues, though her hands don't move from the mug she's cradling, and her position remains otherwise unchanged. "You know I won't lie to you," she says, finally, keeping her tone mostly even, despite a faint amount of trepidation. "Though I'll remind you that there are some things I'm not at liberty to say: as a healer, I swore an oath, and I won't break that. If it comes to that, don't think it's that I'm keeping you from it, but that in telling you, I would be forsaking something I hold very dear." He doesn't need to reiterate what he's just said: if not from her, then... K'zin's expression hasn't lost any of its seriousness or intensity. He simply nods to acknowledge and accept her words. Then he takes a deep breath. "Tell me about Seani. What did her autopsy tell the healers? Were there any things discovered that were left out of the public report records? Things that, say, might finger her killer." He, likewise, doesn't feel the need to explain who he means. Surely an event like that is unique enough that Madilla will remember. Madilla freezes. There's no other way to describe her reaction except to say that, and, perhaps, to describe her as abruptly looking like a terrified animal caught in a spotlight. She lowers her gaze from K'zin to her tea, focusing on it for several seconds before she can come up with an answer. "I didn't do the autopsy. I didn't even see the report for a long time afterwards. It wasn't-- what are you trying to do with this, K'zin? Open old wounds? Seani's dead, and it's a tragedy, but-- it's been five turns. More." "Five turns of unanswered questions. Of no justice done. And in five turns, the prime suspect becomes the Lord of High Reaches. Never cleared." K'zin takes a breath, "I don't know him. But there are plenty who do, plenty who think he did kill her, and maybe he did, but if he didn't, it's high time someone found out. An accusation lingering like that makes every interaction start as couched in bad blood. We're already in trouble. We, the Weyr. How can one begin to heal a wound if it's still open? It's not possible." He takes a breath. "Will you tell me?" Madilla's flinch at this more direct mention of Devaki is painfully obvious, and she seems to know it. "Devaki," not 'Lord Devaki', "didn't murder Seani." She's sure of that, and says it with lifted chin, her voice firm. "And all you're doing, right now, is stirring things up, K'zin. I'm telling you the truth. I know he didn't murder Seani, because," she hesitates, as though this is difficult for her, as though she's struggling to pull the words together, "I was with him during that hatching. All of it. I'm his alibi." She's white-faced, now. K'zin's brows eke upward, little bit by little bit as he processes what Madilla is saying. There's a number of levels to this processing. The whole while his intense gaze doesn't leave her face as his brow proceeds to wrinkle. Then a deep breath, "So, safe to say you know the man, then." There's an edge of nervous humor to the phrase, but he's trying to lighten the mood, not distract from the seriousness of the topic, just make it however incrementally less difficult to discuss. He swallows and his eyebrows resume their normal positioning. "So he's not a murderer then." His lips purse. It's good news and bad news. "Who is?" This is asked in such a way as to suggest that he's not really asking Madilla, but more the world at large. "Did he-- Devaki-- leave because of the murder? Because he didn't want to have to give you as his alibi?" As to stirring things up, "Mads, a murderer went free. It's great that it's not the new Lord of the 'Reaches, but a murderer went free." Doesn't that bother anyone but him? "No. I believe he'd always intended to leave after the hatching - to sneak away while everyone was distracted. The exiles weren't supposed to leave the Weyr, then. It was a good time for him to try and get away." Madilla's voice is low, and though the fact that K'zin isn't pushing for details on her part in all of this seems to have soothed her, a little, it's obvious she's not wholly comfortable. "He could have put me forward as an alibi at any time, but he chose not to. For my sake, I suspect, as much as his, but also because... the more someone like him denies it, I think, the more people doubt his word. I don't know who did it, and I don't like that that person got away with it any more than you did, but what do you expect to find now?" "Details enough to put it to rest. To get at least some better idea of what happened. Sometimes history helps piece together a story that can't be seen in the moment. Two murders. Of two exiles. One unsolved and one committed by a man who takes his own life. I think there's more. Obviously, if Lord Devaki had wanted his alibi known, he would've made it so. But he didn't. And the investigation just got dropped. Fresh eyes might make a difference. And I don't like that there are so many secrets. So many things forbidden to know or to ask of. It's wrong. Everyone's entitled to one or two, but this Weyr--" K'zin looks distinctly pained; this Weyr is his home, his everything, "--it has more skeletons in the closet than in every closet of the Healer Hall and every teaching infirmary beyond. Every secret stacks on top of another on top of another. Look what came out when Tsanth told the Weyr of Iolene's secret and Aishani's keeping it. The leadership thinks people shouldn't know things, and then everything gets fucked up when it finally comes out. So I'm going to find some answers. Maybe it won't matter to anyone else but me in the end, but I don't know this place anymore, Mads. It's the first time in my life that I don't recognize my home, my people. Everyone wears masks and no one trusts anyone else." The tone is a combination of disillusioned, heart-broken, and frustrated. "Doing nothing doesn't help. So I'm doing something. Maybe it's the wrong something, but I'm not just sitting idly by while High Reaches looks more and more like I imagine the Red Star. A desolate wasteland of pain waiting to happen." Madilla's discomfort with this explanation is palpable, and has her clutching more tightly to the mug between her hands; tight enough that her knuckles are pale. "I'm not saying you're not right," she says. "I don't like secrets; I hate that there have been so many, here. I like to think that most of them have been outed now, though. I'm not sure what Iolene's murder has to do with all of this, though; her murderer was caught. What more is there to know about that?" "Maybe nothing," K'zin admits with a shrug of his shoulders. "It just strikes me as odd that two Exile women were murdered. Obviously, Iolene's murderer isn't around to ask questions of, but I gather that people seem to only speculate as to why he did what he did. And that's fine enough, but when you add that to the lack of answers around Seani's death..." The young bronzerider's hands, too, are tight around his mug now. "It all smells funny, and then when people tell you there's things that people can't know, it's just..." Grave is the right word for K'zin's expression as the mug that is set back on the table and he pushes to his feet. "I don't feel like I can trust this place anymore. I don't seem to know anyone I think I know, everyone has secrets and doesn't trust anyone. And how do you live like that? It's one thing when you don't know you're living like that, but to know and just sit idly by and do nothing, or to delve for answers and come up with less than when you started? I can't." He shakes his head, thoughtlessly emphasizing his point. "I didn't understand the malleable loyalties of some of my classmates, and their talk of transferring once they've graduated until -- well, all of this. I don't even want to live somewhere else now, I just want this place and some of the people in it to stop failing at being as amazing as I know it can be." Idealistic, surely. But he's young. His eyes go to the door, body language showing clearly his hesitation. Stay or go on that note. He doesn't know. Madilla has a gravity of her own, the kind that suggest she's doing an awful lot of thinking behind an otherwise unremarkable expression. By the end of K'zin's spiel, she's nodding, though it's a tentative thing - ginger, wary. "I think..." she hesitates. "If you're going to look into Seani's death, you need to consider why. I'm not sure whether her being an exile was the reason. She was there by chance, wasn't she? Unless you believe she was involved in something." Madilla doesn't, plainly, but she's also not pushing that point: it's up to him. "And if you think of it in those terms, the real question becomes a matter of... why was her murderer there? And that's what I don't think anyone knows the answer to." This shift in direction, away from his motives to the motives of the people in question as K'zin taking a breath and easing back into his chair. "I think you're right." He agrees. "I think the why's are very important. I know K'del said Seani took care of his kids sometimes. That they liked her. So was Seani the target or was a murder in K'del's weyr an attempt to frame him or make him look in a poor light or was she simply in the wrong place at the wrong time? And if she was, then why was the murderer in K'del's weyr?" He takes a breath and then lets it out shaking his head, his jaw setting like he's biting back some foul medicine, some 'something' that he won't let himself voice. "If it were an attempt to frame him," says Madilla, chewing over her words carefully, "I don't think it would have been done during the hatching, when everyone could see where he was." She looks down at her tea, reflective rather than uncomfortable, now, though it's obvious she takes all of this very seriously. "But I can't imagine what he would have thought to find in the weyr. I don't believe there was any report of theft, but perhaps Seani interrupted it? I don't know. But I don't know how easy it will be to find out, now, either. It's been so many turns." "I never expected it would be easy." K'zin's words come slowly, but the tone is one of resolution. "Especially when it's something so many would rather just let lie." He draws his eyes up to find the healer's gaze. "Mads, I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to find answers delicately. I've already learned there are costs for handling it poorly." He frowns, expression briefly pained. "I'm just tired of the secrets. But there's no point in upsetting everyone if there aren't any answers to be had." He rubs the back of his neck then before picking up his tea. "Do you know who exactly conducted the investigation into Seani's death?" Madilla's expression twists, concern visible as K'zin's expression turns so pained, even if she doesn't ask about it, doesn't press. "Good," she says. "That's all I ask. I - it was a Harper, but I'm afraid I don't remember his name off the top of my head. I can look it up for you, certainly; I know it's in the records somewhere. Just... if there is a murderer out there, still, they won't want those secrets uncovered. Be mindful of that, too." "I know." This is said with seriousness. "But I'll be careful. Ras won't let anything happen to me." If Ras is there to stop it. "Nothing to worry about, Mads." The smile he has is enough to be worrying in of itself: the look of the invincible teenager. But then, a weyrling poking around in the past is a worrisome situation in of itself. "If you could get me the name, that would be of help. I've been looking in the records, but..." He shrugs. "I don't want to be too obvious about what I'm looking for. I think there are some that would do more than warn me off. I'd rather not get my face broken over this, but I will if I have to." The grin for that is rueful. "Anyone else you can think of who was around a lot at that time? That might've known Seani well? Or the other exiles?" Dubiousness marks Madilla's expression, the kind that suggests she'd like to say something, but won't... probably because it would end up coming across as overprotective mothering. She settles, instead, for, "I'll see what I can find for you. There are a few people... she made some friends. Her roommates. If they're willing to talk to you; I don't know how they feel about it, now. About her. And Akadri." Her mouth tightens, as if the name is unpleasant. "But I've never trusted the testimony she gave. You'd better see for yourself, perhaps." The thing about teen boys is that it can be hard to garner all of their attention; some Harpers would tell you that teen boys think about only two things: food, and sex, and somewhere in the middle the Harpers have to shove all that history. It's doubtlessly a challenge. But in this moment, Madilla commands one hundred percent of K'zin's attention; those boyish fancies be damned. (It might be different if there were cookies with the tea.) He nods to each of her suggestions, his expression more intent than she's likely ever to have seen it. "I will. As soon as I can get my hands on it. Some of the records are proving difficult to find." Maybe through his own lack of researching experience, despite what he's gained during the months of weyrlinghood, or maybe some have taken measures to make things more difficult for those who would stir up these ghosts. "Who's Akadri?" "I suspect most of it is kept at Harper Hall, rather than here. Or if it's here, it's not in the public records. I'm not sure." Madilla shifts her mug, turning it in her hands, and then sets it back down on the table, abandoned. "Akadri was one of the other nannies on duty that day. She's probably the last person who saw Seani alive, except for her murderer; she made much of the fact that Seani was going to take K'del's son with her to his weyr, and that she thus saved his life." "Where do they keep the non-public records? Who has access to them?" K'zin asks, his eyes sliding up to Madilla's eyes, the look that briefly flashes across his face as he asks would be enough to provide a suspicion that he has some intentions toward them if Harper Hall proves fruitless. There's a solemn nod for the information about Akadri. Obviously she's just made the list of people to speak with. "Do you remember what it was Seani was supposed to be going to the weyr for?" "I don't... know. I suppose the Weyrleaders do." The half shake of her head suggests that Madilla's really not sure on that front; so does the bite of her lip. "It was a toy, I think. Nikalas' stuffed dragon, if I remember correctly. Or was it Kasey's? One of them." It seems to bother Madilla that she doesn't actually remember which of K'del's sons it was; it turns her gaze distant, stared into the wall. "So she didn't expect to be going there?" K'zin clarifies the more important point of Seani's actions on that day. "Was it the child that asked her to go get it? Or did someone else?" The young bronzerider's voice implies that he doesn't necessarily expect Madilla to have the answers to these questions, more just questions he's posing that he'd like to find answers for. The fact that the Weyrleaders have access to the records is a fact that has been filed away, to be considered, if possibly not used depending on how the considering goes. "What questions would you ask about the investigation? Her death? All of it. What would you ask if you were trying to find out?" He knows she's not, but K'zin certainly knows Madilla to be an intelligent woman. Two heads are better than one (Ras is one and Madilla is the other. K'zin just has lips that flap and opposable thumbs.) Madilla shakes her head. It probably means 'no, she didn't expect to be going there', but it's not immediately clear; it could, certainly, also indicate that she honestly doesn't know about the rest of those questions. It's K'zin's later questions that stop her short, leave her pressing her lips together unhappily. "The trouble is," she says, finally, "I'm not sure that I would. I know, that's not what you're asking. It's just difficult to design questions that I would never ask. It bothers me, what happened to her - of course it does. But I do believe an investigation was performed. I just don't know how much there is discover." "I've been given to understand," K'zin starts, "And maybe it'll turn out in a day or two that I've been misinformed and there's nothing to discover, no questions worth asking, and all that, but what I've been given to understand," He returns to the original start of his statement that got derailed with a tangent, "-is that there was an investigation that fizzled out when the main suspect - Lord Devaki - left the Weyr. But since, as you say, he has an alibi for the time of the murder, obviously there was something someone missed somewhere. Since there's a murderer unaccounted for." Doesn't that make sense? His expression asks, quietly, with some uncertainty. Madilla gives a slow, somewhat uncertain nod. "I suppose so," she allows. "I'm sorry, K'zin. I'm not trying to talk you out of this; it's just an uncomfortable subject. Old wounds, for a lot of people. That doesn't mean you shouldn't investigate. It's just... difficult." She looks down at her hands, hands that are folded in her lap, now. "Shards, yes! It is." K'zin agrees emphatically with a sigh. "It's not like it's easy for me to poke into these old wounds. It'd be a lot nicer if someone had thought to tie it all up in a pretty bow so when I asked the question, 'Who murdered Seani?' and further, 'Was it truly an isolated incident or did it tie in with Iolene's murder?' that there would be simple if not easy answers for me. Instead, I get a lot of 'how dare you's and 'you've no right's, except I do. Every 'Reachian does, if they want to know. An investigation like that, one that involves so public a face as Devaki's, especially now..." The young man shakes his head, "You would think that people would want an answer, want to ensure justice was served, even if it's turns after the fact. Put a rumor to bed, solidify Hold relations, I know some people will always thinks of the exiles as just that, exiles, but now one of those exiles is the Lord of High Reaches. Thinking of them as just exiles is not a luxury anyone has anymore, ignoring the whole thing like if no one ever asks, it will stop mattering that people think him a murderer is just stupid." End rant. K'zin never became heated as he went on, passionate a bit here and there, but not angry. The predominant emotion, really, is frustration. It shows on his face and in the set of the shoulders that he doesn't like that it's falling to him to ask the hard questions because no one else is. Maybe because no one else cares. But he does. Madilla is silent during K'zin's tirade, and chews on her lip in a way that continues to suggest her discomfort. "What if it makes matters worse with the Hold?" she says, finally. "I know Dev didn't do it," is it interesting, that she uses a nickname rather than full name with title? "But I don't know if his bodyguard was involved. I don't know if there's more to be dug up there that could further damage our relations with them. Or even if it has nothing to do with Raum..." She bites back what she was going to say. "Of course you have a right. You just have to be aware of what could happen. I know - I've said that already. I'm sorry. I do hope you're successful with what you intend." Now it's K'zin's turn to look uncomfortable. It's discomfort derived from confusion and being taken by surprise. His brows have jumped and then fallen as he listens to the healer. "What?" He asks dumbly, "How could clearing the Lord Holder of suspicion from a crime that he didn't commit make things worse with the Hold? Do you think he doesn't want to be cleared?" A pause as he sucks his breath in, biting his lower lip. He doesn't say whatever it is that caused the further thoughts that shock him. He shifts forward in his chair and his look is intent, "Mads, I've never met the man." Then he can't help but blush, though it doesn't change his serious expression, "Obviously, you have. Is he the kind of man who would let his own be murdered-" Seani was an exile too, after all, "-and not want to see justice done for that crime? I heard he cares about his people. If that's the case, wouldn't he be one of the people glad to see it riddled out and justice served?" "I suspect he feels - and probably not without reason - that some people will never believe anything else; that he will always be tainted with that murder, even though he didn't commit it. Putting it back in the spotlight reminds people of it. What if you don't solve it?" Madilla's voice is very, very quiet, and her brows have knitted together, her forehead furrowed; for a moment, she looks a little like H'kon, before her expression breaks again. "He cared about her. He cares about all of his people. It's just... never as simple as that." "Then I'll have to be, as I assured you I would be, very careful and very delicate and very quiet about things until I have solved it, won't I?" K'zin's voice is quiet and sincere, but there's naivety in his expression. Oh, to be an idealistic eighteen turn old. He sets his mug aside and leans forward, reaching forward to place the sides of his palms together in an almost cup, silently requesting she loan him her hand. "Murder, love, life. None of it is simple." These words are released soberly, and at a volume equal to her own in that very, very quiet moment. No, Madilla is not convinced... but she's also not naive enough in her own right to believe she can convince K'zin of anything else. "No," she agrees, extending her hand in offering. "It never is. Not much in life is ever simple, in my experience - well, that's not quite true. Some things are. They're just often complicated by surrounding factors." K'zin's hands move, one grasping hers, the other one gently closing over top. He stays just there, that way, holding her hand for a moment. He watches the hands as though there's more going on there than meets the eye. When he looks up at her again, his expression is still serious, but there's a softness under the look, a tenderness. "It's going to be okay, Mads. I promise." And a promise is a serious thing. He slides his hands away from hers, his thumb briefly brushing across the back of hers before falling away completely and rising. "I'd better go. But, you'll let me know if you find out the name of the Harper that did the investigation? Or think of anything else I ought to think about with all this?" Madilla has lived and seen too much to be taken in by that promise, however faithfully intended - something of that is written, just subtly in her expression, lurking around the edges before she forces it away. "I will," she promises, faithfully. "Look after yourself, K'zin. Stay safe." She draws her hand away again, watching him, but if there's more she'd like to say, she holds off on it: instead, she'll simply watch him to the door, lips pressed lightly together, somewhere short of a smile. |
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