Logs:Nightmare Counsel
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| RL Date: 1 July, 2015 |
| Who: Dee, Ebeny, Laurienth, Taeliyth |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Dee wakes from a nightmare. Ebeny has advice. |
| Where: Weyrlingmaster's Office, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 22, Month 2, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: C'sel/Mentions, Leova/Mentions, Meara/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated. |
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>---< Weyrlingmaster's Office, Fort Weyr(#576RJhs$) >------------------------< This small cavern opens off the Complex and serves as a more private meeting space for small groups of the weyrlings and an office space for the Weyrlingmaster. Just within the door, an oval table set about with six chairs is kept stocked with mugs and a fresh pitcher of water and carafe of klah. A blackboard hangs on the wall to the left of the table, often marked with notes or diagrams from lessons. Past the blackboard, a broad-topped desk is arranged with two comfortable chairs in front to welcome guests, while a sturdy, straight-backed and only lightly-padded chair sits behind the desk for the Weyrlingmaster's use. The desk boasts many drawers and a blotter top. A shelf hangs from the wall above and to one side of the desk, extra storage space for stacks of vellum, ink and pens, sealing wax and other odds and ends. Against the back wall a subtly set door leads the way into the Weyrlingmaster's personal weyr. It's not uncommon for the strong feelings of weyrlings to disturb their dragons. It's not uncommon for weyrlings to have vivid dreams or nightmares in adjusting to their new shared minds. It's not even uncommon for these things to persist. The Weyrlingmaster Staff was certainly not remiss in their duties to monitor Dee's sudden waking and Taeliyth's echo of panic then fear followed by her own annoyance and anger. The simple talks had been had in the first week, when the nightmares were only now and again. By the second, when Dee's uncertain and uneasy efforts toward her lifemate were already becoming worrisome paired with the tiny queen's building temper, stoked fresh each day by whatever experiences perturbed her that it began to be apparent that the nightmares and leaks of feelings were becoming more common, not less. The surge comes in the mid of night, not long after the latest in the series of frequent feedings and oilings required of young pairs. Taeliyth's mind reacts slightly differently each time, but each time the feelings leak without her knowing. There's the sense of fast footfalls, of breathing hard, of being pursued... Then the gold closes off the panic and fear with a surge of annoyance, directed at herself as much as her lifemate who has pushed herself up from her belly to grip the sheets of the cot and murmur a quiet litany of reassurances to herself, "It was just a dream." It's certainly something the gold could help with... and doesn't. Laurienth is always aware to any threat, whatever she perceives them to be and whatever form they may take, and thus the negative spectrum emotions that seep from Taeliyth have woken her from slumber or drawn her already aware attention on more than one occasion. This night, from her spot at the head of the room, she cracks open her eyes to reveal a lick of startled, too-alert orange that soon fades to the deep yellow of concern. She doesn't move, save for a sudden, sharp lash of her tail, and, given a moment to communicate or consider, she tells the tiny gold, « Your rider will go and speak with mine in the office. You will remain here. » There's no room for manoeuvre with that last condition, the angular green's posture deceptively lazy, a screechy twang of warning rippling through her mind. Can Ebeny really be in her office at this hour? It wouldn't be the first time she's slept there, of late. « Fine, » is displeased rejoinder from the already annoyed gold, her long tail lashing her discontent on the pillows in her wallow. « I want to sleep anyway. » Or so she'll claim as she shifts to pointedly, dramatically lay her head back down and close one-two-three sets of lids one after the other. It takes Dee some moments to get her breathing and heart rate to a place where shifting to sit won't make her sick or faint. By the time she arrives at the Weyrlingmaster's office, a blanket snugged tight around her, slippered feet ceasing their whispered steps, she looks rather haggard, decidedly rumpled but more or less awake. "You wanted to see me, ma'am?" is addressed to the Weyrlingmaster, politely, with a slightly awkward salute, given not wanting to lose the blanket's warmth and figurative protection. The Weyrlingmaster's green doesn't shift to remove herself from her chosen spot and move closer to any exits, so Laurienth must be confident enough that no-one - whether Taeliyth or any other mind disturbed by the late-night goings-on - is going to try and make a break for it. She watches, however, her eyes still narrowed to slits. Ebeny is more or less awake, pillow on her desk and clothes creased, yet she does her very best to blink to alertness and present the front that she's merely weary, if anything, and not newly-woken. "Yes," she confirms, right as she has to smother a wide yawn. "Sit down, please," the greenrider invites, gesturing to the chair across from her in the same motion that has her pillow finding the floor. Ben regards Dee as one might a skittish runner: steadily, and with no sharpness to expression or movement. "We need to work out how you can get a decent night's sleep, and soon. Laurienth's of the opinion that Taeliyth isn't just a stroppy madam, and that's saying something, for her." Taeliyth isn't asleep despite her pointed actions. She is not yet adept at truly making her mind seem so when one is attentive. In fact, she's paying studious attention to what she can decipher of her rider's experience in the office and being young as she is, especially by contrast to Laurienth's experience with weyrlings, that she is is probably obvious enough to the green, should she care to know. Dee moves into the office, her hazel gaze flicking over the room slowly as she comes and settles in the chair. She curls the blanket around her once she sits, drawing her knees up so her heels can touch the edge of the chair. It's not a formal pose, but it does allow Dee the protection of legs as well as blanket. "She's not," is Dee's agreement with the green. "I don't-- I can't control what I dream." This is both apologetic and frustrated - probably, she's tried. "I'm not suggesting that you can," Ebeny is quick to assure, "but nightmares of this nature and consistency don't happen for no reason, in my experience. Whatever their nature is." It's almost a question, yet it doesn't quite there, set aside for later. "...Laurienth used to give me nightmares, beyond the time when she was little. Sometimes it was deliberate, and sometimes not, but she was the source. My worries played a part, but they weren't... what I'd term stress dreams." And now it's a different question that she puts to the weyrling goldrider. "...Do you know if Taeliyth is playing a part? Does she try to make things better or worse when you wake?" The soft sigh that follows is audible. "If nothing else, we may need to get you into a particular routine before sleep. Structure... is helpful." Dee's attentiveness is obvious, though so too is her discomfort as she lets herself curl enough that she can press her lips against blanketed knees. It's after Ebeny speaks that she lets her legs slide to the floor, the protected position one a girl with a long and sturdy frame like hers can't maintain comfortably too long. "She doesn't," may not be as helpful as it should. "She doesn't not help, but she doesn't really... It's not like that between us." This is awkward to explain, but she's making the attempt. The attempt is derailed as she asks, "What did your Weyringmaster tell you? Just a routine?" Without much in the way of pause, Dee adds quietly, "We're not a good pairing," almost like an afterthought. "You've not been together for long enough to be a good or bad pairing yet. You're just... as you are." Ebeny does not say that lightly, for all that it might sound dismissive of Dee's worries, and nor does she make those statements unkindly, despite their practical bent. She doesn't quite smile, but her expression colours a little wry. "I concealed it from my Weyrlingmaster. And no, it wasn't the right thing to do, and it's not something that you should've done. It means I let take turns to fix what could've been dealt with sooner." Any discomfort she catches on to - and she must realise it - is ignored for the sake of needing to press and ask, "Then what does she do?" Dee's disbelief of the first is briefly plain on her face. It is the way of teenagers, though, to believe they know better than their more experienced elders. At least she doesn't offer that contradiction aloud. "I can see how concealing things from one's Weyrlingmaster might make things more difficult," is diplomatic if not entirely telling of her own experience. Still, she does attempt to make an answer. "She... steps back. She gets herself under control." Then gets angry and annoyed with Dee and the whole situation, which Dee doesn't say but is likely obvious from the repeat performances. "There's being brave and there's being stupid," is Ebeny's assessment. "There's no good reason to hide suffering." Which must be what she's decided that Dee and Taeliyth's situation is, or is causing. "I hate to disagree," and plainly doesn't, if gently, "but I'm not sure that there's very much control involved in any of this. If she got herself back under control, no-one would be hearing these outbursts. And you might be finding it easier to sleep again." The aimless wave of her hand is as much of a 'so' as the word itself might be. "She doesn't comfort you, then. Do you think it's fair to say that her priorities revolve around herself?" "I'm not suff--" this much is out before Dee thinks. Her expression fully rejecting the idea. The teen presses her lips together. "She's just not prepared when it happens. How is she supposed to be prepared when she's just waking up? She's just a baby," Dee feels the need to defend and perhaps that is telling in more than one way. "No. Her priorities revolve around the Weyr." The weyrling's expression is tight and striving for neutrality, but her tone is utterly certain of this answer. "Suffering takes many forms, and half of us are unable to identify when it's happening, or when it did," the Weyrlingmaster responds evenly enough for it not to be a comment that focused on Dee or Taeliyth. "How she responds isn't the issue I'm concerned about so much right now - it's why. Whether she sets you off, or you set her off, and why this all continues. How she could respond a way less destructive for you both, if possible." She spreads her hands wide on her desk, seemingly only studying her nails. "...It's easy to assume that a young dragon's world focuses solely on their rider. Harper songs paint it that way half the time. Fact is, they often don't. It's not a comment on your bond... and it is. Because, though it's admirable for a gold so young to be concerned about her Weyr, I'd like to try and understand why she doesn't seem concerned for you, when she should know more of you than of the world, right now." Deep breath. "How do you feel about her? As a person. About how she is. Who she is." The skin between Dee's brows folds as they dip down in silent, negative reaction to the Weyrlingmaster's first comment but no words are offered to more openly reject the statement. She listens to the rest, her expression becoming increasingly guarded as the greenrider goes on. "I don't really know her," comes the girl's only verbal response, shrugging her shoulders. "We just met," well, some seven and a half ago. That doesn't truly address the question, nor does it answer the unasked question about why Taelyith doesn't show more concern for Dee in the traditional manners, but that proves to be what the young woman is willing to offer up and as answers go, it's fairly honest. Ebeny has turns enough behind her to make a decent job of ignoring Dee's reaction to her assessment, her muddy-green gaze rather distant and glassy as she takes in that look - and doesn't. "You may have only just met, but I'd hope for some sense of who she is by now, if only who she is now and for the moment, and not the grown-up she'll become," she says softly. "I suggest that you try to take some quiet time alone together when you can, if you're finding that you don't really have the opportunity to talk or share much. Barriers... are difficult things to break down, whether hers or yours, but the longer they stay up... the more difficult it'll get to find a balance together." As she sits back in her chair again, she adds, "That, and trying to work things through together when you wake is all I'll advise... for now. If this continues, there might be a need for you to perhaps... talk things through with a healer, if you'd rather not talk to any of us." Being herself and her assistants. Dee's silence is too long. "Yes, ma'am," is hardly a satisfactory response, but it is at least respectful. "We'll do that," as they're advised. She glances back toward the barracks, "May I go back to her now, please?" There's a lot of emotions in her face, most of them melded into seeming something more than the garden variety of troubled. "Listening isn't about obedience," Ebeny remarks, seemingly out of nowhere. "You listen and you make your own assessment, and those who truly want to find a way out of where they've got themselves try to think of what they can do about it that's within their own power to change." She levels a long look at Dee. "Before they find themselves unable to use that power at all, for one reason or another." More crisp is her simple: "Dismissed." Confusion meets Ebeny's remark, confusion and guardedness over her uncertainty. "Yes, ma'am," is almost tentative. Dee doesn't waste her chance though, rising hastily from the chair and pulling her blanket around her to pad back to the couch where Taeliyth is waiting, only pretending to be asleep. |
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