Logs:Not a Happy Little Family
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| RL Date: 15 June, 2014 |
| Who: H'vier, Tahvra, Tayte, Yvalia |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Tayte lets H'vier come for Tahvra's first turnday and play happy family. It turns out, things are really not at all happy. |
| Where: Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 1, Month 1, Turn 35 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Ali/Mentions, Ishadel/Mentions, Iska/Mentions, K'del/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated. Abuse/violence. Angst. |
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| She'd slammed the door in his face on one other occasion, bringing the total up to two. But come turnover day, she had (arguably) no choice but to let him in for Tahvra's first turnday celebration. It was small, needless to say Tayte didn't have the whole family together. It was fortunate, in a way, that K'del would be gone to Southern to see Ali, Iska, and Ishadel. They would see Uncle Kas tomorrow, but after dinner tonight, H'vier to was permitted to join them for presents and games. Tayte's manner had been cool in dealing directly with H'vier, but civil and she's kept her manners for the sake of the girls. It's only after they've fulfilled their parental duties and gotten both girls down to sleep, Tavi in Tayte's bed and Vali in her own around the curve of the kidney shaped room that Tayte turns to the bronzerider, her magenta pale pink skirt swirling around her ankles, and says quietly, "Please go now," before she's moving as though to go past him toward where the toys are still scattered in front of the hearth. After getting the door slammed in his face a second time, H'vier sort of backed off. Sort of. But Tahvra's turnday isn't something he was at all willing to miss. And now that it's all said and done, and he didn't even get her something Tayte would have to take care of like a firelizard or a puppy, the bronzerider isn't willing to just up and leave. "No," he says, lifting a hand as though to catch her, not bodily, but to get her attention. "We need to talk, Tayte. I'm not just going to leave." H'vier's reward for his choice of gift for Tavi is that he's still alive to walk out the door. Of course, there's always next turn. Tayte probably expected it wouldn't be so simple, so the touch doesn't make her flinch. It does, however, have her rocking back a step as though she was rebounding from his touch. "Is it about Tahvra?" The talking. Her expression is impressively impassive as she looks up at the bronzerider. "You know sharding well it isn't about Tahvra," he snaps back with an agitated growl. "We need to talk about us. You and me." H'vier still hasn't accepted the fact that they might be done for really real this time, that he's pushed Tayte that little bit too far. Tayte's eyes flutter closed in answer and remain so for a long moment. In that moment, as if she can't bear to see a punch coming if he's decided to deliver one after all, she says softly, "There is no us." If H'vier realizes what she's doing, it might just feed his anger. But it doesn't make him hit her. "Bullshit. We aren't over, Tayte. You're still mine. And Tavi will always be mine. No matter what you want." That's not exactly romantic or anything, but maybe this has been building up over the course of the evening. Tayte's pretty blues flick open, and they're not soft and soulful, but rather hard if not sharp. "Tavi will always be yours, mine, ours." Her alto manages to be firm, expression probably forced to calm. "But I am quite a different matter, H'vier. I am, and have always been, my own woman, but I lent myself to you a while, and you used me poorly, and since then you've scared and hurt people I love. I can't be with you." Can't. Which isn't want. Just can't. The way H'vier backhands Tayte is too fast to be anything but a rage-inspired impulse. There's no reasoned thought in that motion and certainly no thought for the consequences. But that's kind of his problem, once it starts. He lets his impulses blind him to the consequences of his actions. "You are mine. You will always be mine. I'm the one that loves you when nobody else will, woman. Who's going to want you if it isn't me?" Tayte probably should see this coming. Maybe it's because she's focusing so intently on keeping herself calm that she misses any sign that this is the next step. This, that sends her stumbling back a couple paces, hands instantly rising to her reddened face, eyes wide with surprise. For those moments when he's speaking, she's too stunned to do anything. Some part of his large hand must have caught the edge of her eye because she's squinting a little on one side, but there are tears in both. If the sudden sound of the back-hand didn't wake Tahvra and Yvalia around the curve of the one large kidney-shaped room, the way Tayte screams at him to, "Get out!" surely will. The girls don't seem to be much of a consideration for the bronzerider right now. He's too focused on Tayte to think about anything else. "I am not fucking leaving," H'vier screams back at her. "I'm not leaving until you wise up and drop this shit about there being no us. Do you understand me?" His tone suggests it would be better for everyone involved if she agrees. It really is a shame that not all things are two way streets. H'vier may be heedless of the girls, but they are not heedless of him, or Tayte. Tahvra is awake and bawling, Yvalia's appearing from around the curve that leads to her space. "Mom?" She sounds uncertain and more than a little scared; this kind of yelling just doesn't happen. Tayte's eyes dart from H'vier to her eldest daughter and back. It's one of those moments that requires a number of important split second decisions to be made. The first is how to defuse the situation enough to get the girls to safety. So she steps not away from the angry bronzerider, but to him, reaching the hands that had been on her face to reach tentatively to lay against his chest. Surely this means she's 'seeing reason,' right? "Vali, why don't you take Tavi and go for a walk." It's not a question. And Vali doesn't question it. What does that mean? Probably either that Vali is well behaved or that there's a pre-arranged code that was set up Just In Case. The little girl moves toward the bed while Tayte steps closer to H'vier. "It will give us some privacy." She suggests with a tentative smile. All a facade, of course. Will the slight tremble give her away? The sound of Yvalia's voice barely breaks through H'vier's intensity. That could be, in part, due to the fact that she tends to remind him of things that feed all that anger. But he only glances in her direction briefly because there's a Tayte touching him. And that's what he wants, isn't it? He lifts a hand to wrap around one of Tayte's wrists, but her words draw his attention back to Yvalia as she starts to move off. "No. Tahvra stays here. Stay there with her," he tells the girl before his attention is turning onto Tayte again. Except some of his anger seems to have faded. Enough to sound sincere as he says, "I don't want to hurt you, baby. I love you." Tayte has the optimism to look hopeful until H'vier says 'No.' Her expression falls and her eyes with it to wide-eyed Yvalia, clearly scared. "Havi, please," the blonde's alto is roughened by the threat of tears, and her words are a plea. "They're scared. We were yelling," she doesn't mention the other thing. "Let Vali take Tavi to the nannies while we work things out." Her free hand moves down to hook fingers behind his belt buckle, "Please?" Thinking while he's angry isn't one of H'vier's greatest talents. But maybe it's some combination of Tayte's words (and hands), Yvalia's fear and his own lifemate's cool presence in his mind that has him growling, "Fine. But if I find out she's off crying to that piece of shit she calls a father..." Either he doesn't know what he'll do or he just expects Tayte to know that it's not worth testing him. That's all it takes for Yvalia to go to the door. Only, she's a slight almost-seven turn old bearing a one turn old, so that's about half her height and weight right there. It's awkward to say the least, but proven safe from other, much happier moments. Tayte leans up onto her tiptoes to kiss H'vier's jaw in what's probably meant to be a reassuring gesture before she's slipping her wrist from his grasp and moving to unlock and open the door. Yvalia goes, and Tayte lingers a moment, watching the girls go. Maybe she thinks of slipping out after them, but H'vier's legs are too long for her to think the three could outrun him if it came to it. So after a moment, she closes the door, though she doesn't turn the lock before turning to lean her back against it and look at the bronzerider. H'vier lets go of Tayte's wrist after a moment of hesitation. He glances after the three of them, but his gaze soon shifts away, unfocused. Reisoth. It would probably give Tayte a decent headstart if she took advantage of it. But the bronzerider would just be that much more angry once he caught her. Once the door is closed again, with Tayte on this side of it, he says without looking, "Come here." Tayte hesitates. She has to. But what are the options? Not comply and make him angrier? Tayte must pick her battles, so she pushes off of the door, long skirts swaying around her ankles as she moves toward the bronzerider. "Havi-" she starts, but it seems she's not quite sure where to begin that won't just do what she was aiming not to do: anger him further. She's stopped just out of arm's reach, but can he blame her for that? When Tayte stops in front of him, H'vier waits for a moment, as though to see if she'll close the distance. She doesn't, so he does it for her. And as he does so, he wraps his arms around her shoulders, tucking his head in against hers. "I need you. We need each other. Can't you see that?" Isn't it obvious? Tayte might as well be a statue for how still she stands, stiff against him. Quietly, so quietly, she asks, "Why did you hit me?" H'vier doesn't seem to mind that Tayte isn't exactly reciprocating. He might not even notice right now. "I love you, baby. Take me back. I'll show you. It was just an accident. Please." Still stiff, still quietly. "I thought you weren't giving me a choice." Is it worth less to him if she doesn't choose him? Why is she being so difficult! H'vier's arms tighten around Tayte for a moment, possibly a long moment for the woman in his arms. But, see, he's totally controlling himself. "I want you to want me. I know you still want me. I want you to say it." "Havi, you hit me. Hard." Hard must matter or it wouldn't have been mentioned. "You must know how fucked up that is. In bed, for fun, that's one thing, but this?" It's all quiet, even timid if lightly emphasized on the key points. Tayte still doesn't truly move, but now she trembles. "I didn't mean to. You know that. I just-- I got angry. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, baby." As H'vier speaks, he slides down to his knees in front of Tayte. His arms are still wrapped around her, hips now, and his face pressed against her abdomen. "I didn't mean it." "When you love someone, you're supposed to make them feel safe." Gospel according to Tayte. Still, she doesn't move but to tilt her head down to look at him. "Havi, you hurt me. And now you've hurt me." Two different kinds. "How am I supposed to feel safe with you?" It's not meant to provoke him. It's asked softly, genuinely seeking an answer. There's a tear rolling down her cheek. If she knew the magic fix, surely she would exercise it. He doesn't respond. He doesn't know how. If he had an answer, H'vier would be more than glad to feed it to her. But even with everything he's said already, he has nothing. His head shifts, looking up at her with an earnest sort of expression before it tilts down to press his forehead against her stomach. "Just give me another chance. I'll show you." "The other way around." Tayte murmurs, a second tear having joined the first as she looks down at him. "Show me. And then I'll give you another chance." And hopefully he doesn't hit her for saying so. H'vier's arms tighten around her again. This time it's less anger and more not wanting to have to let her go. He nods his head against her abdomen but he doesn't let go. Not yet. "How can I show you?" "Be good to me. Be good to the girls." Tentatively one of her hands finds the back of his head and Tayte strokes gently through his hair. "Convince me that I-- that we," all three of them, "are safe with you. Convince the people I love that we are." At least she doesn't say K'del's name. She could mean others. Like Jeyli. Maybe Telavi. He's calm enough now that it might not set him off even if she did say that name. But it's probably for the best that she doesn't. "Will you stop shutting me out?" It'd be hard to be good to her if he never sees her, is the suggestion. Tayte's hand stops as she considers for some long moments. "Yes, but promise me you'll let it be on my terms, at least for a while." Because promises mean so much when he makes them. Right now H'vier would probably promise her anything. Almost anything. But this, evidently, is well within reason. So he says, "I promise. Your terms," without any sort of hesitation. "We-" She starts and then stops to consider. Her hand has started again, with his hair, but after a moment Tayte does decide to say, "We're not together now, Havi. You can do what you like. Sleep with whomever you like. If you want us to be together again... be the man I know you can be." Which is not the man he is. Unfortunately for all parties. "I want you to win me back. I love you." But that doesn't change that they're not together. There's a noticeable tension when she says they're not together. But H'vier doesn't actually protest the point. That earns points, right? He tilts his head to look up at her and it's a few more moments before he's shifting to rise back up to his feet. He lifts a hand, slowly, toward her face. If she lets it get that far, he only brushes against her cheek with his thumb. He might usually try to kiss her, but he doesn't even do that. "I will. We'll be together again. I promise." Oh, Tayte is still not moving, which is probably a testament to just how much she doesn't want to get hit, even though that doesn't seem likely now. She does wince when his finger touches the cheek; it still hurts, of course, and it's fresh. There are things that she could say to that, but any that are neutral are also easy to misinterpret, so she says nothing, just tilts her head a little to look up at him. Maybe he was hoping she'd say something, a flicker of disappointment in his expression. H'vier doesn't really have a right to it, but it's there all the same. His hand moves, he even steps back, glancing to the door. "I'll go. Do you want me to get the girls for you?" There's a part of Tayte that might really like to say something or do something to reassure him, but she has hit her limit. This is as good as it gets tonight. A shake of her head. "No. I need a few minutes before I bring them back." Meaning she needs time to break down and time to figure out what to tell K'del since the girls are surely with him by now. "I'll fetch them when I'm ready." H'vier watches Tayte for a few moments, then nods his head. "Okay." He doesn't say anything else, no more promises or I love yous, before turning to head for the door. There, he hesitates, but he lets himself out rather than giving in to whatever urge might keep him there to put what he's regained at risk again. When there's a knock on the door some minutes later, Tayte manages to rise from that same spot she hadn't left in the wake of H'vier's departure. Hands push tears away from her cheeks, one more gently than the other. The crafter that found Yvalia struggling along with Tavi and saw them safely to K'del's weyr has returned, with a rider alongside. They're there to check on her. Tayte expresses gratitude for their trouble, that everything is fine, and she'll go to K'del's shortly for the children. It probably doesn't matter that she takes the time to cover the redness of her cheek with some cosmetics, given that the rider is sure to report back to the Weyrleader about the state of Tayte's face before she even heads their way. Maybe it's worse that she makes the effort to hide it. |
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