Logs:Of Truths
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| RL Date: 17 October, 2006 |
| Who: M'wen, Maja, R'hin, Satiet |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| Where: R'hin's Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 28, Month 6, Turn 9 (Interval 10) |
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| Your location's current time: 20:04 on day 31, month 6, Turn 59, of the Tenth Pass. It is a summer evening. You stride into an archway leading into the Weyrleader's weyr. Inner Weyr - R'hin A sense of long-standing tradition pervades this space, the polished hardwood furniture that decorates the room having seen many a Turn, and many a Weyrleader. A large round table is coupled with a number of chairs, seated comfortably close to the ever-burning hearth. A pot of klah is usually bubbling away, lending its faint scent to the air. Across the room, a well-stocked wine cabinet is seated circumspectly next to a desk that is piled with hides in a haphazard way. A short passageway leads to the bedroom, the bed the newest looking piece of furniture in the whole weyr. A jacket is slung casually across the quilts, the wardrobe and press tucked neatly back in the recesses made just for them. A heavy canvas drape hangs across the archway that leads back out to the ledge, keeping out the cool air of the High Reaches. Obvious exits: Weyrleader Ledges M'wen meanders in from the Weyrleaders' ledges. M'wen has arrived. "You realize, I'm supposed to remember all of their names?" R'hin's commenting wryly as he steps back into the weyr, looking a little relieved to be out of the crowd. "There's so many new people of late. I imagine they're hoping to stick around for the hatching, or something. Then again, it is summer, so--" he heads immediately for the bottle, refilling M'wen's glass first, then his own. "What was with Shanlee's comments? Something going on?" Taking the glass, M'wen finds a chair and sits, sighing softly. "She said someone was causing her trouble around the weyr, and I asked who and she wouldn't say, but of course, I need to know these things so I pressed for details and then she accussed me of being as bad as the person who was causing her the problems in the first place." He pauses to take a sip of the drink with a nod of thanks. "So I just told her if she's going to act like that I'll just leave and then she really started going against me, like -I- was in the wrong...,and it bothers me." He gives a slight shrug and shifts his gaze onto the Weyrleader. "Ah." The way R'hin exhales that monosyllable suggests he's not unfamiliar with the frustration. "She doesn't like to gossip, apparently. But her idea of gossip includes things that -should- be told. If she doesn't want to talk about it--" his hand waves dismissively. "She's a very... strange and frustrating person. You shouldn't let her get to you. That Wilf seemed to set her off, though-- maybe it was him? In any case, I can always pass it on to Josilina and let her deal with it. She is, after all, a people person." His lips twitch wryly as he settles into a seat. "No." M'wen replies sharply, "I am not getting Josilina to settle my problems for me. I can handle this on my own." He gives a wary nod of agreement, "How can telling me something be considered gossip though? Or maybe she just doesn't have reason to trust me yet, and if there was a reason, I just blew it." He sips his wine with an unhappy air, "I refuse to let her win though, I was just standing up for myself and for some reason that seems to be a taboo to do to her." "She considered telling me about your altercation with Bayan gossip," R'hin remarks, levelly, gaze on the bottle rather than the brownrider. "And I don't think it's so much your problem as -hers-. But-- maybe you need a female perspective on things," his lips curve. Satiet has arrived. "Well it was quite the incident, I wouldn't have minded, I told you anyways. In fact if she told everyone it'd be good." M'wen rants slightly, his eyes wincing, "I'd rather not have to assosciate with Josilina, if I need perspective, I'll ask Tavrie." "I had words with Bayan. It sets a dangerous precedent." R'hin says, his tone taking on a slightly sharper edge, more for the subject matter than for his companion. With a slow exhale, he swirls his wine glass, before saying, "You seem taken with her," he observes, with a twitch of lips, as if sharing a secret. They're seated at the table, a pile of hides off to one side, and an opened bottle with a couple of glasses of wine to hand. "Bayan...doesn't seem as dangerous to me as his brother, at least from what I've heard. He would never have actually hit me, and I can take care of myself." M'wen intones, it sounding more to himself then to the bronzerider. "She's a friend that..." He trails off looking into the glass, swirling the liquid inside slowly. "Precedent?" From the entrance, Satiet's slight figure is a slip of a silhouette between the stone walls and the heavy canvas drape. Clutched in her arms is a small stack of hides, and while the echo indicates she's overheard some part of the pair of men's conversation, there's little apology reflected in the weyrwoman's cool gaze as it skims across the table, the people, and finally rests on R'hin. "Do you make it a habit to drink without me?" The query, sly and mocking, is pitched casually into the weyr, and the slightest smirk graces the raven haired woman's face. "Maybe... maybe not. His brother knows the score - he won't be a problem." R'hin seems certain of that, eyes shifting to M'wen. "And I know you can, but-- there are others who can't. I don't want him making the mistake of thinking because I'm new to this I'll let him walk all over my riders." The possessive is deliberate, given with a casual shrug of shoulders. His eyes are still on M'wen as the brownrider trails off, head tipped as if about to inquire further, when a voice intrudes. To his credit, he takes her unannounced arrival with aplomb. "Frequently," is his bland response. "I figured since your last.. experience, you might like to try avoiding it for a while." M'wen turns his face to glance at the weyrwoman, his expression troubled. Giving what could be considered an imperceptible nod in greeting, he turns back to the glass in his hands, seemingly entranced by it. Speaking to the glass instead of the two others in the weyr, "Do you have reason to believe he's more then just talk? And people already don't like you, the words of an itinerant won't make them dislike you more." His optimistic words are drowned out by a long pull on the wine glass, the brownriders back hunched. Satiet loses a beat, still in reaction to R'hin's bland response. To -her- credit, her expression doesn't falter and instead after that beat gains strength as she steps in further. A glance cuts across the room again, taking in the decorations or lack thereof, and the size. "I realize my limits now," the weyrwoman imparts, her stride confident and near appropriating of the Weyrleader's living space, as her heels clatter and she invites herself to a seat - though not to sit. Instead, with her hides clasped beneath an arm, she merely rests her elbows along the back and flashes M'wen a charming little smile. "Ah, I only need to hear the word itinerant and realize you speak of everyone's favorite troublemaker, after our illustrious Weyrleader of course." Pause. "What's Bayan done now?" "He'll step over the line, because he lacks self control, not because he's dangerous. Even his brother sees that. I'd rather it not be with one of mine." R'hin says, rising from his chair and moving towards the wine cabinet to select a clean glass. M'wen's words earn a low chuckle of agreement. "True enough, I suppose. I'd rather keep him away from the candidates and eventual weyrlings, though. Any influence they have should be... ours." His hands spread to indicate the three in the weyr, and serve as silent offering of the additional glass for Satiet. "An argument with M'wen. Not unusual, except I'm told he was raised his fist with the intention of hitting our wise man here. I'll not allow such things." His voice is firm, determined. M'wen raises his glass to Satiet before leaning back and downing the rest of it, placing the now empty glass on a small table nearby. Looking to be deep in thought, his expression still troubled, he raises his eye's to survey the room, though it seems he's taking none of it in. "A series of unfortunate events it seems. Though Bayan was only the beginning of it all." He pauses to regard R'hin, "I don't really know...do you think the way he conveys his opinions has anyone convinced?" "You'll not allow it?" If anything, Satiet's long considering stare shifts slowly into mocking once more, bemusement etched deeply in the young woman's features and along the stretch of thinness her pressed lips make. "How-... altruistic. Do you plan on fighting everyone's battles for them now that you're Weyrleader, or just those who can't fight for themselves? Not that," she adds with a glance sidelong to the brownrider, "I don't doubt that you could pummel him if you truly put your mind to it." Watchful of R'hin, she takes the opportunity where the bronzerider is getting her a clean glass to pull the chair out with a turn of her foot and slip into the seat by M'wen. "He isn't of the Weyr, his opinions shouldn't matter to our candidates. It's not by his good will that they will remain here." Maja strides in from the Weyrleaders' ledges. Maja has arrived. Reaching for the bottle, R'hin fills Satiet's glass first, then M'wen's. "We see plainly through it, but others believe what is told to them, even when it is presented with such lack of conviction." The bronzerider's tones are bland, maybe a twist of derision in there. Lips twitch at Satiet's choice of seat, and he settles down on the other side of the weyrwoman, reaching for his own glass. "It has nothing to do with altriusm, lady of the spires," voice turns mocking, at that title, angry a little and trying not to show it too much, "Whatever else -they- think of me, I'll protect them. It's what I must do. You understand that, I'm sure, being a lady of the weyr." Thanking R'hin, M'wen takes the glass and holds it in his hand, not drinking, but not relinquishing his hold on the glass and leaving it to the table. Turning to the goldrider, he offers a weak smile, but nothing more, eventually turning back to gazing ahead. "I do not believe Bayan has the influence to change the ideals of our weyrlings, and I do not believe he actually would've hit me, no matter how tempted to. I have only heard him mutter his dislike of your-" He pauses, "-promotion." The brownrider gives a slight nod at R'hin's last comment, "We know how popular you are already, sticking up for those of the weyr will only help you and others." One of Satiet's thin brows lift ever so slightly, only a passing glance for the wine that fills the new glass set before her. "There's protection, and there's coddling, sir." It's funny, how even in deference in both the incline of her chin and placed in the title, that there's a distinct sliver of disdain. "People grow stronger for the battles they fight themselves without the Masterharper interfering midst children. You merely solidify whatever his claims might be by reacting in such a way. He is, in the end, a mere trader that does not seem to trade in much but pretending mysteriousness." A heartbeat passes, her hand lifts, but instead of reaching for the thin stem of her wine glass, it slips over to press lightly up along R'hin's shoulder to the base of his neck, intimate and soothing where her cool voice is not. "Trust me." Vesereth announces his presence with a slight burble, flicking his wings out to slow him down as he lands on the weyrleader ledges. Maja climbs down his back, nodding to all three dragons in succession before heading towards the Weyrleader's inner weyr. She pushes the curtain back slightly, after hearing voices, and peeks in for a moment before sliding all the way in. Hoping that she's been noticed, out of curtesy she simply stands there, hands behind her back, feet shoulder-width apart, looking very business-y. "That's not why I do it." R'hin says, of M'wen's latter statement, his voice a little taut, still. Satiet's words, serving to back up M'wen's, only causes pale eyes to narrow, settling on the weyrwoman. A beat or two passes, and the even tones, "As you command, lady of the spires." A deliberate, if slight, shift of his shoulder is made in an attempt to dislodge Satiet's hand, fingers curling about his glass. "You heard of C'len's promotion, I trust?" A half turn towards the archway indicates that this time, at least, Leiventh gives warning of a new arrival. Dry, he notes to M'wen, "You see what I mean about open door policy being bad?" There's surprise as gaze falls on Maja, a twitch of brows questioning, but little other welcome from the Weyrleader. "Then why do you do it, if not for those of the weyr?" M'wen says, a slight furrow appearing on his brow. The brownrider tilts his head, awaiting a response, his face devoid of emotion, eye's following Satiet's hand. Hearing R'hin adress him, a jerk of the head is given as he looks to the entrance, a flash of surprise visible across his face as who awaits. "Sometimes, though, it's for the best, no?" Obliging, Satiet's hand drifts away to reach for the wine glass, as if that was her intent all along, though a slight turn on her lips is slanted R'hin, pleased. "I had. He'll do well enough. M'rek-," for this bronzerider, the young weyrwoman has little further to say, allowing any such commentary to lapse into silence as she swishes and then takes a small, testing sip. Over her shoulder, the slight woman passes a glance back and catches sight of the business-like brownrider. Pale eyes pass up and down the long length of Maja's body before a thin look is offered the other woman, a tiny incline of acknowledgement, and then dismissed from her attention with a simple toss of her hair. She'll indulge in drinking further from her glass for now. Maja's attention is mostly on the Weyrleader, and at his lack of response her eyes widen in surprise and then narrow with the possibility of disdain. She sniffs, turning her head and focusing straight ahead of her. "Sir, if you're busy, sir, I can come back later." While she tries to keep emotion out of her voice, there is a hint of sarcasm. "I simply have some information to report, sir. About Bayan." R'hin gives a slight shift of head, as if to delay any answer he might give to M'wen's initial question for another time. He takes a sip of wine, giving him time to cover his surprise, observing dryly, "It depends who comes through the door. In this case, a stranger. But, convenient, though, I've something for you." The latter part of that directed to Maja, it seems, as he rises from the chair and moves to the desk. He has a deliberate, politely cool demeanor as he approaches the woman, offering her a knot. "I'm moving you into Snowstrike, under C'len. You'll do well there, I expect. And he'll do well, as Wingleader." The latter agreement with Satiet's assessment, and at Maja's latter words, he casts a glance at the two seated at the table in silent inquiry, before glancing back to Maja. "Oh?" M'wen's head lifts up to look over at Maja when he hears the mention of the rogue. "You never know what to expect then?" is the comment to R'hin, his tone hollow. Taking a brief sip of wine, he rests his attention on the other brownrider, probably as interested to hear the information as the Weyrleader is. Maja's promotion from weyrling to wingrider is marked with very little surprise in Satiet's pale eyes, though the weyrwoman refrains from following R'hin's path to the brownrider in order to present her with a knot. "Did I overhear that you've made a friend of a lady?" Setting her glass down, still a good three-quarters left, the goldrider rearranges her hides so they're clasped in front of her, and tilts her head to regard M'wen even as she makes preparations to leave. Maja's face actually starts to go pink with her effort at acting indifferent, and she blinks her eyes a few times too many to concentrate herself. She breathes deeply before looking down towards the knot, and unclasps her hands for a moment to take it. "Ah. Alright. Thank you, sir." The knot is placed into a pocket on her vest, to be woven with the brown cord at a later date. Anyway, she probably couldn't concentrate well considering concentraion it's taking to repress her anger, at the moment. "You may not know, but I have been digging up information on him. Or at least trying-- it's hidden fairly well. There's unfortunately not much to find, although one thing that Bayan can't erase are memories. I've found someone who remembers him in his youth. It's not that important, it was so long ago, but it's the first thing I've come up with since I've started looking." Satiet's mention of a lady causes Maja to tense for a moment, then relax as she realizes Satiet is speaking to M'wen. Probably. A faint twitch of lips bespeaks R'hin's reaction to M'wen's hollow question, and the weyrwoman's question earns a sidelong look, too. However, attention returns soon enough to Maja, offering in dry tones, "I remember. You told me, quite some time ago." As she takes the knot, hands clasp behind his back. "I'd offer you wine, but you don't drink it." There's a flicker of a smile, very brief, as he says, "Do you wish to make this an official investigation? Are you saying that we should not... dismiss him?" the words might well be directed at his two companions, though pale, steady gaze remains on the tall woman. With a faint twist of his lips, M'wen responds, "And that's hard to believe? I'm hurt" His wine glass has remained untouched still over half full, and he swirls it slightly, "You know her in fact, that is unless you don't pay attention to things while eating in the kitchens." He raises a brow faintly, waiting for a flicker of recognition, ignoring R'hin for the moment, trusting a proper judgement. "Oh?" The question, directed to M'wen, comes as Satiet rises from her seat and slides the chair back beneath the table. It's distant, not as inquisitive as before, as the raven haired woman is unable to resist paying some attention towards the scene unfolding between the female brownrider and the Weyrleader. Brilliantly blue eyes narrow, near disappearing behind pale eyelids, as she awaits Maja's response. "Did I?" Maja's forgotten, so much has happened since then. R'hin's smile is put under much scrutiny, the ex-guard's head tilting to the side, expression not entirely sure of itself. "Dismiss him?" Plans that were not known by the brownrider cause her to be taken by surprise a second time, although this time she's initially speechless. "I-- I'm not sure what your course of action should be," she continues, finally, "except that I'm against anything official. If High Reaches announces its intent, you'll have less luck finding anything than I did." She had to sneak. Which she's good at doing. She probably loomed a little bit too. That coldness springs back to the fore, R'hin's pale eyes guarded at her forgetfulness. "It seems you forgot much from that night. No matter." Dismissive, abrupt again, his head tips to one side. "You don't think bringing it to me makes it official enough? I wasn't exactly planning to sing it from the spires. If you pursue this, you'll do so outside your duties in Snowstrike. And you'll report to me-" he pauses a beat, "-or M'wen." M'wen watches the weyrwoman leave towards the door, eyes eventually shifting to R'hin's conversation. He places the wine glass down with a faint *clink* and listens to whats being said. Hereing his name mentioned an eyebrow is raised, but no comment is brought out, the brownrider content to listen. While displeasure sits on Satiet's lower lip at R'hin's response, and disdain briefly clouds her pale eyes at Maja's, it just seems to add fuel to a long-cooled fire that simmers faintly in flares of blue. As the weyrwoman does walk away, her path crosses deliberately so as to pass by R'hin, where she pauses long enough to curve a possessive hand along the Weyrleader's cheek, a light caress that is dropped as quick as it began. Low words are imparted, the slight frame on its tiptoes so as to reach the taller man's ears. But after she speaks, a faint smile is flashed Maja, her shoulder aiming to brush past the brownrider on her way out. You sense Satiet's voice is husky, intimate, taunting, "I would ask you to come over tonight, but really, wouldn't it be more amusing to see how fast your darling brownrider's face turns crimson? Mmmm? Ta, love." "You, perhaps, have forgotten a few things as well," Maja remarks, softly and accusingly, intended to fall the ears of a former friend, and not a Weyrleader. "But I'm not sure reminding you would change anything." She swallows. "In my opinion, sir," her voice is again loud and business-like, "the word 'official' would mean that the findings are written down in the records, as would be the means which the findings were... found. I would prefer that not be the case, though I would have no problem reporting to you-- or M'wen." Satiet's actions slap Maja from out of the blue, and she simply stares, absolutely incredulously, at the weyrwoman. R'hin's eyes are naturally drawn to Satiet, half tipping his head to better accommodate her low words. Even gaze is mostly guarded as he watches the weyrwoman leave, though there might be the faintest twitch of lips there. "Good evening, weyrwoman," he murmurs. Maja's initial words earn a narrowed, slightly puzzled look, and he steps towards the table, picking up his glass and taking a sip. "There will be no records," is all he says, simply. Through the disappointment and rejection that Maja has gone through in the past half hour, that last bit of information manages to cheer up her calculating and conniving side. A small amount of triumph passes over her face. "I absolutely accept the position," she confirms, "and will perform my duties as a wingrider as well as I can." She follows R'hin towards the table, nodding at M'wen. "Sir. Haven't spoken to you in quite a while." Satiet strolls into an archway leading out onto the Weyrleaders' ledges. Satiet has left. "I'm sure you will," R'hin says, and that answer seems to suffice for both comments equally well. He takes his chair again, leaving the empty one between himself and M'wen that Satiet recently occupied. He watches M'wen, rather than Maja, silent, swirling his glass in his hand. M'wen's empty gaze stares at the wall, deep in thought or otherwise. He mutters something to himself quietly, but leaning in one would here, 'Why must everything be so complicated!'. He raises his gaze to rest on Maja, a genuine smile on his face. "No, it's been too long since we all were together." He gaze slowly lowers, settling on R'hin. M'wen's smile calms Maja's anger quite a bit, as she recognizes the pure genuine and gladness within the brownrider. The tenseness in her relaxes and she allows herself a deep breath, her eyes closing for a moment and then opening again on M'wen. The woman briefly smiles. "It -has- been too long. Lady friend? I don't spend much time in the kitchens..." Since she's opened her eyes she has not put them on the Weyrleader. There's a slight frown on R'hin's face, something M'wen will note immediately, pale eyes troubled. His head tips to one side in silent query as M'wen looks at him. It's as if their roles are reversed, unintentionally; the bronzerider's silent, content for the other two to talk, and simply listening, twirling his glass around. M'wen lets out his first noticable sign of relaxing this evening, giving a low chuckle. "I still don't see what's so spectacular about me being friends with this person, though maybe I'm better off not asking." He lets out a low sigh, trying to let out his troubles with it, looking to have settled at least partially. "And, would you believe it, no ones killing each other, this is -so- not like our candidacy." "Oh? Satiet seemed to imply it was more than friends." The woman shrugs, turning her back on R'hin as much as she can while engaging in friendly conversation with M'wen. "Ah, no one's killing each other, no one's stealing anything, though I hear enough about someone wanting to punch someone else. I think the candidates will have something interesting on their hands if that happens." "Not spectacular," R'hin objects, reaching for the bottle of wine to refill M'wen's glass, before his own. "I'm glad. It's good. It's.. pure." That choice of word deliberate, and he says it like it's a relief of sorts for him. There's a faint chuckle, a hint of a smile, as the Weyrleader murmurs, "Satiet enjoys being able to imply many things. It doesn't make them true." M'wen nods at R'hin's assesment, "For once, I can talk to someone and not have to spend the entire time guessing what they are actually trying to say, its a nice break from my normal clientele." He lets out another chuckle seeming to have lossened up a little, "It's what Satiet does best, probably best to not take everything she says at face value." Maja turns around for the first time since her cold shoulder of R'hin to react to his mention of the word 'pure'. The look is only to narrow her eyes at him, making it obvious she's picked up on something even if she doesn't know what. She turns back to M'wen. "Yes? Well, that's nice. Plain and siple an be refreshing. Although, sometimes I enjoy figuring out what's behind others' words." Given that R'hin's eyes flick to Maja, unsurprised at her glance, it seems he was waiting for her reaction. "That's why you get on so well with Satiet, is it?" The words are dry, not intended as antagonism, but could just the same be taken that way. With a flicker of gaze to M'wen, he chuckles, low. "I think perhaps you've had enough wine for tonight, my friend. Drinking makes you far too honest for my comfort levels." M'wen hands the nearly empty glass back to R'hin obediantly, a smile playing across his lips at the comment. "I could spend the rest of my life being told every thing at face value, and I wouldn't complain" He stands to his feet, surprsingly steady for the amount of wine filtered through him by R'hin this evening. As you said, I've had enough, and I'm going to go have a nice rest from my troubles." Giving a sharp salute to the other two riders, he turns smartly on his heel, almost trips over a table, and strides out of the room, trying to maintain most of his dignity. M'wen strides into an archway leading out onto the Weyrleaders' ledges. M'wen has left. "And perhaps why you do as well," Maja immediately retorts at R'hin, though keeps her attention on M'wen. "Face value has its purposes..." she agrees somewhat, though not entirely. The woman wouldn't be able to live if there were no lies in the world. "Good night," she allows, smiling briefly at his inebriation. The smile falls to a worried frown, now that the only thing to face in this room is someone she's having trouble looking at. R'hin accepts the empty glass, setting it aside so he can return M'wen's salute, respect in the gesture, unlike the numerous mandatory salutes they bestowed upon many during weyrlinghood. His gaze, after M'wen, is a little troubled, exhaling slowly. "Perhaps," he eventually says, reaching for the bottle and tipping out the remainder into his glass. "Are you going to stand there all night?" It's hard to tell if that's invitation to sit, or dismissal, but either way it matches with her preference for obscurity. Maja does in fact stand and look towards the exit for far too long, possibly contemplating escape. She seems to ignore R'hin for a moment, then finally turns around towards him and sits down in a seat. An inner battle has been fought and won by the side of bravery. "No," she replies. A faint twitch of lips is concealed as R'hin lifts the glass to his lips; difficult to tell if it was amusement or grimace at the brownrider's choice. He barely waits until she's settled before he asks, "Tell me what -I- have forgotten." Maja leans back in her chair, regarding R'hin for a long moment and perhaps summing up in paraphrased words in her head what long speech she may have been concocting since she stepped into the weyr. "You have forgotten my loyalty, R'hin. I told you that you would have at least one immediate supporter, if you ever managed to make this position, and that I believed you could make a good Weyrleader. You scoffed at me, of course. But it was true and it still is true." She pauses, "I'm frankly in disbelief it happened so early on, but that doesn't change what I said." "I've not forgotten your loyalty," R'hin declares, dismissive. "And you're wrong. I won't be a -good- Weyrleader, but I will be a -Weyrleader-." His lips twist, eyes shifting up to the ceiling. "So you've needed time to process it, I take it. Well, frankly, so did I, and I could've used your friendship, but you made it clear you want no part of that. Have no fear, I'll still use you, and your loyalty, for the good of the Weyr." Maja reacts immediately, pounding an incensed fist against his hardwood table. While it does help her, she still needs a few moments to compose herself enough to reply. "I did -no- such thing," she manages. "And if you plan on treating me in the future as you are now, you should not plan on using me for anything." "No, you did -exactly- such a thing," R'hin's voice is low, but vehement, angry too, and not bothering to hide it. The glass is set down on the table hard enough to slop some of its contents over the side. "I -told- you to approach me. I told you, if you didn't, I'd take it for rejection of friendship. You said you would." Pale, angry eyes are fixed on the brownrider, fingers curled beneath the table. "How else should I treat someone who wants no part of me?" Maja's fist unclenches on the table as realization dawns, then balls up again in simple frustration. "R'hin, I said I would at a time when I had nothing to worry about but being a weyrling wingrider. The past few weeks I have been researching, visiting Benden, finding out information on this man that ... that insists on keeping his past secret, despite the accusations from others that he is doing some clandestine business." She grinds her teeth together for a moment. "I did nothing, knowingly, to reject you." Her voice is soft, thin, small. It's obvious she doesn't expect this to be an acceptable reason. "Ah, so it was conditional, based on when you could spare time for me?" The sarcasm is laced with anger, R'hin pushing upwards abruptly enough that the heavy wooden chair rocks back, slamming to the ground with a loud thud. Pacing away, the bronzerider moves to the hearthside, a hand stretched out to lean against the wall above it, head bent, body lined with tension. It is, perhaps, the softness of her voice, the unexpected thinness that finally prompts the quiet words, "Then -unknowingly- you have. I accept that." It's another of those sentences that could be taken a number of ways, and he doesn't seem given to clarification. Maja has now remembered, of course, and is somewhat occupied with just when she lost track of the promise she had made to him. "I lost track of time," she continues, "and I put it off, and then I simply forgot." The emotion on her face is anger mixed with disappointment mixed with embarrassment. She simply turns towards him, watching him storm about, not flinching at the chair, analyzing his last sentence. "I have always considered you a friend." R'hin sees none of Maja's expression, his back still turned, voice more tired than angry, now. "I'm not sure you know what friendship is, Maja." It's the first time he's used her name, and his tone is not in the least accusatory, merely an observation: "You put being a guard first. Being a friend second. That's not how it's meant to work." Maja leans forward to the table this time, sitting her chin in her hands and placing her elbows on the table. She is also tired-- tired of dealing with the burning in her heart, and tired of it being her fault that so many friendships have dissolved because of this problem that R'hin has so quickly identified. "Being a guard is part of who I am and how I live, and is what I love. It's much easier..." she begins, though doesn't immediately finish. "Guarding isn't as hard a thing for me to manage as friendship." Silence, and stillness for a while, before R'hin pushes away from the wall, crouching down to stoke up the hearth - presumably against the chill of the night. The menial task seems to leech some of the tension out of the lines of his body, and by the time he straightens, pale eyes settling on Maja, he's regained much of his countenance. "What I am-- what I see for the Weyr, it's part of who -I- am, too. But I would let myself fall in an instant, before I let M'wen, or Satiet, or.. you fall. That is friendship. It is nothing to manage. It simply is." He runs a hand through his hair, quietly crossing the distance, hand resting on the back of Maja's chair. Maja looks up at R'hin from her chair, one of the few times in her life that the action illicits no ill response, and in fact she seems to gain courage from it. R'hin is someone that Maja has no qualms looking up to. "I have made mistakes..." she admits, "Too many. Te'an was the first victim of those mistakes, and I thought after that I could control it-- but ... I run when I don't know how to deal with something, R'hin. And it's very hard, R'hin. To deal with... you." Letting it be vague like that, she means nothing ill, the 'you' encompassing more than just his present visage. "You're not so easy to deal with, yourself, vixen," R'hin murmurs, the faintest curve of lips visible for a moment. He sobers up, a moment later, "I haven't the luxury of running. Josilina wouldn't let me. Nor would Leiventh. So I will learn to deal. And so will you, I hope. I'll need you." He's learnt his lesson from past mistakes, and his hand moves slowly towards the tie that keeps her hair back, with the intention of pulling it free. There might have once been a time when Maja would have raised a hand, automatically, to bat his away, in simple dislike of anyone coming so near. The trust she bestows on him is obvious as she allows him to pull away her hair tie. Though as always, since her hair is so used to being forced into the ponytail, it only reluctantly separates and spreads out, a crimp in the strands. "I have escape available to me, which will make my choices that much harder to make. You have no freedom to choose, and therefore no such hard choices to make. In a small way I envy that." He's cognizant of the trust, and keeps hold of the tie, fingers brushing through her hair to separate it, eyes focused on the task. "You envy me?" R'hin's laugh is hollow, dry. "I would prefer choices than none at all. The only choices I have now are who I shall anger tomorrow, by whatever decision I should happen to make. Whether I should give up before I destroy those around me. These are not enviable." Maja shakes her head-- but only slightly, enjoying the closeness too much to run the risk of pushing it away-- "You will always have enemies. The balance is keeping your enemies at a minority, or at least keeping /them/ off-balance. I have many enemies, whether they be children or adults that dispise my way of thinking and acting. Only rarely do I let it bother me, though it has taken a long time for skin to become thick enough for it." "My enemies do not make me hesitate. My friends do." R'hin pauses, and the touch of his hand to Maja's hair pauses, too. "I may be many things, but I would not see my friends destroyed to see the future I perceive for the Weyr come to pass." He exhales. "I worry, about the wise man. I fear I put a great burden on him, but I need him. I fear I weaken his morals, just as I fear will happen with you." Maja's eyelids had begun to droop as she relaxed, and she quikly notices, apparent with an immediate flicker of lids open, when he pauses. "Is that, then, what you see for the Weyr? And yourself? That you will ruin all of your friendships with the plans you have made? I'm not sure... but I believe that many of your friends support your ideas-- or at least I did, when you told me about them. -- Does your need of him overcome your fear?" Such a question ought to be posed to Maja, though she doesn't realize the double meaning of it. "I don't intend for that to be the outcome, but it's a possibilty we've discussed." R'hin admits, soft. As to the latter question, he's silent for a long time, and his voice, when he finally speaks, is full of guilt, "Yes." Maja responds first with a narrow of eyes and lower of eyebrows, the woman having no comprehension of exactly what kind of plan would do such a thing. The dark eyes widen as R'hin admits his need. She says nothing, analyzing silently every nuance to the word. Pale gaze has settled on the hair tie wrapped around his fingers, resting against the curve of her hair. Softly, he says, "Stay with me tonight." Does Maja's need of him overcome her fear? Her immediate reaction is one of absolute nervousness, her heart beating rapidly within her chest. She fails in coming up with a direct response to his request, and instead asks a terrible question, innocently meant. "Why?" His hand begins brushing against her hair once more, soft. A quiet laugh escapes R'hin, though it is self directed, wry. "Friendship? Need? I don't know. It just seems... right." "Oh," Maja responds, then allows herself to smile in response to his wry laugh-- the simple expression enough to help her relax and think. The smile survives on her lips much longer than is usual for such a rare thing. "Okay, then. I will." "Okay," R'hin echoes her quietly, smiling as well. He leans over to press lips to her forehead, before he offers his other hand towards her, to draw her upwards. Maja places her hand in his, standing, though that is all she does. She seems to be watching him, letting him choose the next action. Perhaps she shouldn't be blamed-- she's wary of taking things in her own direction because of his past responses. R'hin's fingers play over the back of his hand, the rough pads silent reassurance as he leads her through into the bedroom. He seems aware of her hesitancy, inclined to take it slow, as he moves to draw her down into a kiss. |
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