Logs:Of Two Minds
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| RL Date: 17 June, 2006 |
| Who: R'hin, X'dyr |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| When: Day 21, Month 1, Turn 8 (Interval 10) |
| Your location's current time: 2:26 on day 21, month 1, Turn 58, of the Tenth Pass. It is a winter night. You head towards the lake shore. Lake Shore, High Reaches Weyr This shoreline marks the edge of the freshwater lake that fills the southeastern portion of the bowl. The gritty dirt of the bowl gives way to smooth sand. Dragons often dive from high above the lake into its chilly waters, rinsing away the pungent smell of firestone. Their riders are frequently seen standing along the shoreline, watching on, the waters too brisk for casual swimming. Across the lake, the bowl wall rises high into the sky, its face dotted with weyr entrances. A few dragonlengths above the water, glimpses of a level cliff can be seen amidst boulders lining the edge. Just south of here, a smaller pond of water is divided from the main lake by a natural bridge of land. The water of the pond is frozen solid, an expanse of crystal glass that spreads from shore to shore. A path leads across the bridge and up to the diving cliffs, winding through a dotting of small boulders on its way. The night is clear, not a cloud to be seen, giving you a perfect view of the stars. The smaller Belior is shining brightly as a full moon while Timor winks as a waxing crescent. There is a light breeze that whistles softly across the frozen lake. Obvious exits: LAke Pond Diving Cliff Bowl X'dyr wanders over from the eastern side of the bowl. X'dyr has arrived. It's well into the early hours of the morning on a cold winter's night, yet there's a figure out by the lake. Lying on 'his' rock, R'hin's wearing his flying leathers for warmth, folded hands serving as a pillow for his head as he stares upwards. The moons cast enough light that a glowbasket isn't necessary, and it doesn't seem as if he's bothered with one. It doesn't seem as if he's that concerned about being discovered, however, considering he's undertaking a merry whistling of a bawdy sailor's tune, easily recognizable. Not only is it early morning, it's an early morning in winter. Like R'hin, X'dyr is rugged up from head to toe, the collar of his coat fastened so that it covers the lower half of his face. Hands are entrenched in the coat's pockets, and his shoulders are hunched over in an attempt to maintain some semblence of warmth. The whistling travels easily through the stillness of the night air, X'dyr pausing briefly when he catches it. There's only one thing to do - go and see who it is! Perhaps it's a good thing that R'hin isn't actually singing the words, since the song is the sort to make even a stalwart Weyr resident blush from head to toe. The tune is, by itself, a catchy refrain, and nearby walls of the Weyr's caldera do much to provide a suitable musical echo for the 'music'. Either the bronze weyrling doesn't hear the approach of his fellow weyrling, or he isn't fussed enough to stop in the middle of a chorus - either's certainly a feasible reason for the scruffy-haired man to continue onwards, his position on the rock not shifting a whit. Clearing his throat, X'dyr chimes in conversationally as he lifts his chin out from the collar of his coat. "So what's your excuse for being out here at this time of night?" The ash-blonde weyrling coming to a halt near the rock on which R'hin's got himself sprawled. "Staying up after hours unsupervised, surely that's breaking some rule somewhere." A twitch of his lips and the tone of his voice reveals a mix of acidity with his attempt at humour. His hands remain firmly in his pockets though, and his feet stamp at the ground in an effort to keep blood flowing through his legs. The tune finally ceases, but only when R'hin reaches the end of the chorus. The voice is familiar and a quick glance of pale eyes assures him that his immediate guess was correct. "Working on my night vision for night drills," comes his ready reply, obviously thought of well before the other weyrling came along, full of earnest believability. Twitch of lips is his initial answer to the second question, moving his head just long enough to magnanimously wave to a portion of his rock in silent invitation. "It's probably breaking several," he agrees, "But I can't let you have the sole monopoly in that area, you see." X'dyr's mouth twitches a fraction at R'hin's reply, a soft snicker escaping before he murmurs, "Night vision, I'll remember that one." A glance is given to the lake - the moons' light reflecting brilliantly from its surface and with the occasional ripple making it appear as though the light was dancing along with the tune so recently ceased. "Isorath informed me after that incident with Amilin that you wished to speak with me." "I haven't yet had occasion to use it, so you're welcome to it." R'hin's easy grin is quick to appear, pushing himself up into a sitting position, pulling his legs up to his chest for additional warmth. It also allows him to better view the other bronze weyrling, by no coincidence. "Hmm, yes," he says, as if only just remembering. "You seem to have as much difficulty with the powers that be as I do," he says, pointed, and blunt to a fault. "But I rather suspect your disillusionment may stem from different reasons than my own. Would you indulge me?" At the question X'dyr's shoulders rise and fall with a shrug. "Not quite sure there's much to say." His flint-gray gaze flickers towards the lake and then back to R'hin. "Except that it wasn't always like this, I was always the golden child." His mouth twitches with a faint smirk, "So some think this is quite out of character for me, the way that things are now." His attention shifts, back toward the direction of the weyrling barracks, "They're not wrong when they say impression changes a person." His head cocks to one side, returning to look at R'hin, "What's your excuse?" "No, they're not wrong," R'hin agrees with a fervent intensity that might prompt an urge to catch his expression. It's fleeting, though, and he stretches arms above his head for a moment before leaning them against the rock behind him. "Golden child?" he echoes, with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. "Mm. Me?" He pauses, but the gesture is more dramatics than any need; he very much knows his own mind, that much is clear. "I've made little secret of the fact that I dislike the way the weyrlings are treated. At the same time, I do not have any wish to be burdened by the shortcomings of our... erstwhile role model... any longer than I have to. The system cannot be changed from within; I recognise that fact. I rather suspect that, while you recognise it too, you don't much care." Pale eyes flicker over to meet that of the other bronze weyrling, as if to gauge his reaction in turn. Then, faintly: "Maybe you should." Once again, X'dyr's mouth twitches - this time with a faint amount of disagreement at such a suggestion. "They're like that weyrling up in the pass, they won't change." Again he shrugs, "So what's the point. Daily I'm torn between the desire to have never stood upon those sands, and then horrified that I'd even consider not being with Isorath." Internal struggles! "Such a pleasant experience!" It's almost impossible not to catch the sarcasm dripping from his words there. Deciding that it would perhaps be more advantageous to be seated, X'dyr settles himself on the ground with his legs drawn up in a similar manner to that of R'hin. "It's not hard to see that I don't deal so well with the frustration of that plus their input on top of that." The other bronzerider receives a long look from R'hin, a slow exhale almost akin to relief. "You and I, X'dyr, are not that different. I've asked most of the other weyrlings of my class, and they all seem very... happy. Perfectly happy. But I think that impression is not for everyone, and I've a growing suspicion that the randomness of it all sometimes has an impact. Leiventh doesn't always understand, the way that I do, what it means that I impressed him. You and I--" he gestures for emphasis, "--we're part of the system now, whether we like it or not. They're going to try their hardest to groom us, to mold us, to make us as mindless as them, so that if by another stroke of randomness our dragons should happen to catch a senior gold, they might control us. Yes, they want us to survive, but they also want us to carry on a tradition hundreds of Turns in the making, no deviation, no differentiation, just another body to keep the wheel turning." There's disgust audible in his voice at that last. "Someone told me recently that the time has past for heroes - I disagree. I think Pern -cries out- for heroes, people who will think, rationalise and revolutionize." His voice, as he speaks, grows more intent with the belief of his own words. "They frustrate me, too. But I take comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone, that there are others who think alike, that the future of the Weyr make not be as bleak as all that. I -have- to believe, or..." he simply trails off, with a sidelong look, the implication clear - that he'd feel just as X'dyr does. "The fact that they punish what they can't control makes me livid. They don't seem to bother trying to understand the reasons behind the reactions that they disagree with." A touch of agitation seems to enter X'dyr's voice, his mouth clamping shut with a sour expression. His arms are lifted and folded back so that his hands are on his shoulders, his elbows on his knees. "What's Leiventh like?" The question ventured out of the blue, the ash-blonde weyrling's attention focused on the lake as he asks. "The fact they showed us that weyrling in the rock after impression also angered me, but I guess you picked up on that at the time." R'hin agrees, "Punishment does little earn anything but more contempt. But you have to remember it's what S'din's always done, and he's not the sort to change his ways. It... frightens me to think he shapes the future of the Weyr I find myself bound to." He exhales slowly, trying to keep his own frustration under control. "Perhaps you should try speaking to Amilin. She's... she's not like S'din. She listens, and she may understand, where -he- will not." The suggestion is offered quietly, and it's followed by a quick, unbidden smile. "He's very different from me in many ways. He has a comment on pretty much everything that happens, and he's not reticent about letting me know when he disagrees with me." His voice turns softer, head turning so his expression is more in shadow, though the pride and affection can be detected in the quiet tones nonetheless. A quiet moment or two, then, "I was told, or lead to believe, many things that I have found to be untrue after I impressed. I imagine they figure once you're impressed, you're stuck with all the downsides they neglected to warn you about." A beat. "Don't you want to change all that?" A bitter laugh answers the question, X'dyr shaking his head as if to dismiss the concept. "I've been stuck in this stinking system for the last four and a half turns, and I do believe that it's starting to drive me crazy." There's a twitch at the mention of Amilin, "I'm not so sure about her either." A gloved hand scrubs at the top of his head, "But I would like to be able to join the others of my class, I just don't know if that's ever going to happen." There's a definite sound of defeat in the youth's tone, "Can you tell why there are times that I wish none of this had ever happened?" "I'm impressed that you withstood it this long." The pun is not deliberate, and R'hin grimaces to apologise for it, going on, "It either shows you have a stubborn streak a mile wide, or that you're that sure of yourself that you won't let anyone tear you down. That's exactly the sort of person this Weyr needs." He spreads his hands for a moment, leaving it up to the other, adding only the advice, "Talk to her. It can't hurt - the worst that'll happen is you get more punishment, and if you're already grounded, well..." his lips twist a bit wryly, though the faint amusement vanishes fairly quickly at X'dyr's latter words; the ex-trader is sober, serious all of a sudden. Quietly, "Perhaps you would take comfort in the knowledge you're not alone in that thought. I... I try not to let Leiventh hear those sorts of things." He straightens abruptly, uneasy with the betraying thoughts. "Isorath has a rather.. forceful personality at times." X'dyr offers, almost sheepishly. "I also tend not to hide things from him now that he's fully grown, it makes things easier in the long run." Easier for who though. The suggestion of talking with Amilin over things is met with a hesitant expression, "Perhaps, I'm still in two minds over that incident at the pass. Whether I should apologise for my behaviour or maintain the principle of the matter, that the timing of all that was wrong." There's a faint snort at the mention of punshiments, "I'd had my fair share over the Turns, grounding is the least of my concerns." R'hin grins for a moment at X'dyr's description of Isorath. "I can see why some people would've said you've changed a lot," is all he says by way of comment. As to Amilin, "I think she expected us to react. Maybe not necessarily with anger, but I don't think she was surprised. Maybe you should just tell her the truth - that you're of two minds. I think she'll respect that." With a long exhale, he pushes himself up off the rock, stamping his feet momentarily to get the blood flowing again. "I think I'd best get back inside before vital parts of me freeze and drop off. Thank you for the conversation, though. We must do it again. The others," he waves towards the barracks, vaguely indicating their fellow weyrlings, "Don't quite understand the way that you do." "Perhaps." X'dyr concedes, eyeing R'hin as the other weyrling starts to make motions to leave. "I will think on it further." The younger man remaining where he's seated for the time being. A hint of a grin surfaces at the mention of the freezing of vital parts, "Sounds like more laps around the bowl are needed." The comment made, he shakes his head a little. "Good night R'hin." And that's all that's said before his attention drifts and he's withdrawn from the conversation - remaining where he's seated on the ground. An answering grin is R'hin's only response, the ex-trader making his way back across the bowl. The jaunty whistle starts up again, the noise fading as the weyrling heads away from the lake. You stroll north towards the main bowl area. |
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