Logs:Peace
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| RL Date: 28 August, 2015 |
| Who: Ebeny, Eirlys, Laurienth, Aruseth |
| Involves: Fort Weyr, Ista Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Following Paislie and Uiysath's deaths, Ebeny deals with guilt and grief. |
| Where: Secluded Beach, Ista Weyr |
| When: Day 1, Month 9, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Paislie/Mentions, E'dre/Mentions, Lilah/Mentions, Kh'tyr/Mentions, Aislara/Mentions |
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| « As long as you know you've done all you can for folks, you've nothing to feel guilty about. » « They were ours to protect. » « They weren't left behind. They... went on ahead. » It was easy for Aruseth to be more pragmatic about the whole thing, for he hadn't known the ones they had lost. He cared for his wing and Weyr and others - and Ebeny knew this because she had seen, over the turns, those changes in Eirlys, and she had none to look to but the brown for that - but, in this instance, he could share the upset, but not truly feel it. Maybe it was for this reason that he suddenly decided on making himself a target for Laurienth to pursue and vent her grief-driven fury on. She watched the sandy brown lift from the shallows of the ocean and deliberately smack Laurienth across the nose with the end of his tail; heard her green's mental and verbal shriek of fury as she shot after him. Ebeny idly poked at the sand with a piece of driftwood she'd found earlier, her efforts to dig a moat around the poor attempt at a sand hold weak at best. Her two turn old niece was doing better than she was. Eirlys' second attempt at motherhood had come as late as her first had come early, and, thus far, she hadn't given up on this child. "Wasn't your fault, Ben. Really, it's a miracle more of your kids don't end up that way." Muddy-green eyes lifted and stared. "Not your kids," Eirlys attempted to clarify, dragging a hand through her blonde, sun-bleached hair. "I mean weyrlings. In general. Some of them are complete basket-cases for months after Impression, and there's really nothing but a 'don't do this' warning to stop any of them getting it into their heads to try giving Between a go if they think they're ready before they're ready." "...That's not reassuring, Lys," Ebeny murmured, giving the sand another stab. "It should be. I'd say getting class after class to graduate without losses and without a queen's pressure on them all day, every day, isn't bad going. You're dealing with people. There's nothing predictable about them." Her lips twisted bitterly. "Maybe that's what I should've done. Got a queen to pin Uiysath down." "There's no saying that they wouldn't have found another end." "...Maybe I messed up something with Lilah." "Maybe we're all messed up, Ben." The day that dawned after the keening, what time she'd not spent teaching, she'd spent in plain sight in the weyrling complex, in-case any of the weyrlings from either class had wanted to ask her whys she didn't really have the answers to. It was nearly midnight when she'd allowed herself to go home and crawl into bed, without a single word offered to her weyrmate. What could she have possibly said? In the days since, she'd found it all but impossible to talk to Aislara. On the best of days, the girl - woman - was a trusted colleague, a friend and an example of success. On the worst, she was a walking reminder of her failures and living proof that she could make terrible mistakes. And these days... they certainly weren't the best. As for her other assistants... what a fine introduction it was for Kh'tyr. With the girls away, she felt little compulsion to return home at a decent hour. E'dre had worries of his own. She didn't need to add to them, and 'sorry' for the death of one of his riders in training didn't quite cut it, to her mind. There was so much she could busy herself with, these days. So much. "...I fucked up, Lys," Ebeny murmured. She wasn't even sure which occasion - who, when, what - she was talking about, but she knew her sister stared due to the rare instance of language, and that she'd used it in-front of the baby. She was still too numb to truly care. She hadn't cried yet. "You did everything you thought you could, right?" "Right." "Then the only," Eirlys glanced at her daughter, "...effing up you're doing is blaming yourself and splitting your focus from the ones who're alive." Maybe it was true. For now, she would hope all the more for peace for one sister, knowing the fate of the other. |
Comments
Aleudre (17:11, 31 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
Ben is stronger than she thinks! Loved this
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