Logs:Remembering Lilah
| |
|---|
| |
| RL Date: 21 August, 2015 |
| Who: Farideh, H'vier |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Two riders remember the disappeared goldrider differently. |
| Where: Snowasis, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 8, Month 8, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Lilah/Mentions, K'del/Mentions, Azaylia/Mentions |
  |
| There are a few Iceberg riders at the bar, drinking and having a great time. H'vier is not one of them. Their wingleader is tucked away in a booth with a bottle of whiskey and a glass that he hasn't bothered using. Why get a glass dirty when you plan on drinking the whole bottle anyway? Fortunately it doesn't seem like the bronzerider is here to cause problems, just drown them. The summer sun may still be shining high in the sky, but that doesn't deter Farideh from Snowasis, even clothed in her dress leathers, with her junior weyrwoman's knot riding her shoulder. She makes a beeline for the bar once she enters and orders something fruity; after she's thanked and paid the bartender, she meanders towards the booths, obviously to get away from the other occupants of the Weyr's drinking hole. It's in her assessment of the more private seating that she spots H'vier, and it makes her hesitate. "H'vier," is her wary greeting, her eyes taking in the bronzerider's situation with a sweeping glance. "Farideh," returns H'vier quietly, glancing up briefly to look at her, probably to make sure he's right that it's her, before his gaze turns back to the bottle. "You look... official." It mostly sounds like a compliment, but he has had a few drinks. His own clothes are as casual as he gets outside of the workout room, no knots in sight. "Farideh," returns H'vier quietly, glancing up briefly to look at her, probably to make sure he's right that it's her, before his gaze turns back to the bottle. "You look... official." It mostly sounds like a compliment, but he has had a few drinks. His own clothes are as casual as he gets outside of the workout room, no knots in sight. "We graduated," Farideh replies. "That's what inevitably comes next. Faranth knows I wouldn't have written this story for myself." But then, she turns her considering gaze towards the bar at the same time that she drops down on the edge of the booth bench opposite H'vier; without asking. "Are you alright? Did you get someone pregnant? Piss K'del off? You look--" Instead of saying how he looks, she simply stares, her eyebrows hiked. He's too... whatever he is right now to react strongly to Farideh's smart assedness. He looks up at her again, though, as she sits down on the other side of the booth. "I'm fine," he lies, blatantly. "Can I help you with something or are you out looking for a fight?" There's the implication that she's unlikely to find it with him tonight if she is. Granted, that's probably also not entirely true. "How much have you drank today?" Ignoring his questions, Farideh gives the whiskey bottle a brisk look, before her eyes land back on H'vier. "Did something terrible happen? Besides--" She makes a sound and immediately presses her lips together, studying him with a grave expression. "I don't remember you being affected by Azaylia dying. Are you upset about Fort's weyrwoman disappearing? It is upsetting-- goldriders disappearing, but you can't drink yourself into forgetting, if that's what you're trying to do." H'vier doesn't answer the first question. "I was affected by Azaylia's death." It was just, you know, strong feelings of anger, not sadness. "And I can drink myself into whatever I like." His gaze stays on her now as though he still expects her to answer his previous question. Immovable hazel eyes stare back into H'vier's darker ones. "You can if you want to H'vier, but the horizon isn't going to be any better tomorrow," Farideh says. "She's gone." She lifts her glass then in a silent cheers, before letting it touch her lips so she can take a long, slow drink. "I know," the bronzerider says, voice subdued as he looks down at the bottle again. It doesn't keep him from taking another drink, though. It probably won't keep him from finishing off the bottle. "I loved her," he says after a few moments of silence. "But I think I might hate her now." H'vier doesn't look up when he says it, doesn't seek any sort of assurance that anger is a normal reaction. He's most likely well aware of that fact. It's quick, but Farideh almost spits out her drink when she hears H'vier admission. She manages to collect herself and pat at her lips delicately with a knuckle, all before she lifts her eyes back to his. "Sorry." There's a pregnant pause, and then she sighs, leaning back against the booth cushions. "I'll never understand how and why she was so reckless, but I don't know if it's right to say you hate her. Who knows what actually happened-- I certainly don't want to find out," only partially wry. If H'vier notices her reaction, there's no obvious indication of it. "It doesn't matter, does it? She's not here to care one way or another. She was too stupid to do whatever she was doing properly and fucked over everyone who needed her." He says it so dispassionately that it might be difficult to believe that he's ever loved anything in his life. He takes another, longer, drink from his bottle. "Fort still has Hattie and that new goldrider. They are not in such dire straits, though certainly things could have been better." Farideh is still regarding him thoroughly, wearing the expression of one trying to figure out a puzzle. "She didn't fuck anyone here, even if there are those who miss her. The world goes on as it always does, doesn't it? We've survived--" She lifts her hand to start counting off goldrider deaths, but instead shakes her head and smiles ruefully. "Were you going to be weyrmates?" There's a flicker of something unkind in H'vier expression when he looks at Farideh again. "I know you aren't that stupid," he tells her. "Or have you resigned yourself to living the rest of your life as a broodmare?" By which he probably means that Lilah wasn't just a goldrider. She was a person with friends, lovers, and interests. "It doesn't matter what we were going to be, what we were going to do." "Don't play the sanctimonious card and pretend I have an actual choice in this," Farideh returns, quietly but with intent. "We all play our parts, and while you, surprisingly, had feelings for this woman, I saw and still see her as nothing but part of the grand scheme of Weyr politics. Fort Weyr will be fine. Pern will be fine. You--" She doesn't go so far as to give him an unkind look, but she's not exactly smiling either. "Don't drink yourself to death." "That doesn't mean you have to be a compassionless cunt to the people who did care about her, Farideh. But I'll comfort myself in hoping that fucking sailor of yours goes missing so I can return the favor." H'vier lifts his bottle in his own cheers for the goldrider, and then he's pushing himself gracelessly toward the edge of the booth where he has to pause because there's a very real possibility that he'll fall over if he tries to stand up. "I'm sorry I didn't say the words you wanted me to say." Farideh gives H'vier a skeptical stare over the rim of her glass, but says nothing else on the subject while he tries to stand; until he pauses, that is. "Do you need an escort back to your weyr, wingleader?" she asks, indifferently. "Fuck off," is his super mature and increasingly agitated response. He does manage to get to his feet without falling over, but H'vier only makes it as far as the booth directly behind where he was sitting just a moment ago. "Happily," lilts after him, while Farideh makes herself completely comfortable in the booth he's vacated. It's his stumble, and the ensuing sound, that draws her attention from her half-full glass. She leans to the side and cranes her head around the booth side to stare up at the bronzerider. "Are you absolutely sure?" H'vier leans there for a few moments, then slowly lowers himself into that booth instead. "If I need help, I'll find it." Presumably independent of Farideh. There's the sound of his bottle thumping the table, but the sound of him slouching down into his seat is probably lost over the collective din of the bar. "I can hail one of your-- riders. They should be able to get you back to your weyr without incident." Farideh's focus shifts from the drunken bronzerider towards the riders present, obviously seeking any from Iceberg that could aid their wingleader. "You don't have to be so hard and strong all of the time," she says, to the man she can't see, sitting at the booth behind hers. "I'm fine," is more of a growl now than polite words. H'vier is quite intent on sitting here in the Snowasis until he needs to see the healer to pump his stomach. Or maybe just until he passes out and pisses off the bartenders. "That's rich coming from you." Wasn't she just giving him shit for being in love? "You're drunk." There's a long silence, if only because Farideh finishes off the remainder of her fruity, girly drink with ease. "Hardly," as she sets her empty glass aside. "I'm neither of those things, but you seem to have a particular knack for holding everything in and getting angry about it all. One day-- I worry." There's a snort from the other booth, H'vier's response to that possibility. "Worry about yourself, woman." It's not bronzeriders who have a tendency to die prematurely around High Reaches, after all. "I'll have one of my riders help me if I need it when I'm ready." That's said a bit more quietly, almost dejectedly, as if to assure her there's nothing to worry about. "You make it hard to like you," is the last thing Farideh says. Being done with her drink, and whatever joy there was to be had at spending her free time at Snowasis in the middle of the day, there's not much else to do but leave. She leverages herself out of the booth, and in passing H'vier's, gives him a half-smile. "Bye, H'vier," before she's striding for the exit. With no comment for her words, H'vier glances up as she passes by his newly claimed booth. He watches her, but doesn't return the farewell in any meaningful way, just a grunt of acknowledgement, and then he's back to finding the bottom of that bottle. |
Contents
Comments
Alida (22:55, 21 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
I still have a difficult time wrapping my head around H'vier actually loving someone. :)
Edyis (23:24, 21 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
WSS^^ At the same time though, its those little snapshots of him that humanize him. Loved this.
Jolie (09:16, 22 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
LOL. You know, in a strange way Jo can relate. I think this is one of those situations where H'vier and Jo are pretty similar since, because of their perceived reputations, no one really believes they could fall in love. And yet... ;) Insight scene!~
H'vier (23:48, 22 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
Why is everyone so surprised! Havi was in love with Tayte for turns. XD
Faryn (08:35, 23 August 2015 (PDT)) said...
I am somehow always a little surprised when I realize Farideh's stock reaction is blunt lack of sentimentality. Even if her feelings about Lilah were... strained. I love this scene though.
Leave A Comment