Logs:Stupid Stupid Stupid
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| RL Date: 12 July, 2013 |
| Who: K'zin, Rasavyth |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: After Solith's flight, K'zin reflects. |
| Where: Running, High Reaches Weyr and outside |
| When: Day 20, Month 3, Turn 32 (Interval 10) |
| Weather: Clear but chilly. |
| Mentions: Telavi/Mentions, Jo/Mentions, Quinlys/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Added later, but music relevant to K'zin's concerns about feelings. Chemical Love |
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| Stupid, stupid, stupid! There was so much he hadn't seen until it was too late and all too clear. A dragon who sucks at hunting also sucks at blooding. Maybe Rasavyth was fine being hungry most of the time, but K'zin didn't want every flight to end up feeling like this. Rasavyth didn't mind the not getting laid much (but what to virgins know anyway?), but it was embarrassing that he dropped out so early. The advantage of being bronze was in stamina and he was down and out before... well, everyone else. K'zin minded the not getting laid part. Now he was horny and upset. What a terrible combination. What made it worse was that Telavi was in there with someone else. He felt jealous. It took him time to name the emotion. He'd felt it before, of course, with his brothers, mostly. Sometimes his sister in the way that mother doted on her. But never in relation to a girl. Especially not one with whom he had-- well, had an understanding. It was casual. No feelings, no mess. Then apparently, in this maelstrom that has become the inside of his head, the total shaking up of his everything, the understanding was no longer understood. He cared for her. He cared for her, and he'd had her in his arms, gotten her injured because of his-- because of their stupidity, their unsated lust, and then had to surrender her to someone else. It didn't matter that it was Quinlys. It didn't matter that K'zin knew Telavi'd come out the next morning and be no worse for wear than she was any of the nights she'd spent with others in the past. He'd had to let her go, when all he wanted to do was keep her. They'd made love, hadn't they? It had been different at the waterfall. It had been much more than good. But... that was three days ago. Was that just Solith that got her in the mood? That made her accept him? Was it all hormones? Dragon-hormones even? Did Tela even care? It had seemed in those moments like she might just reciprocate the flutter of feelings K'zin had been feeling, especially in the tender moments. Now it all felt cheapened. It all felt fake. He felt broken all over again. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. He ran. He ran, and ran, and ran until he puked. In the dark, he had left the Weyr, run down the road. He was lucky he hadn't slipped and broken his neck or even just sprained an ankle. By the time he stopped, he didn't even know where he was. But that wasn't even important. He couldn't feel his feet. He started again. He ran until he couldn't feel anything. Then he collapsed, sobbing. Always with the sobbing. He reached for Rasavyth. But Rasavyth, in some ways, was just as poorly off as he. He wasn't upset about not getting laid, but he was intensely embarrassed and nursing his wounds. The reach found him settled hide-touching-hide with Tacuseth. Not snuggling exactly, but commiserating. Tacuseth regaled him with how greens used to be easier to catch. And Rasavyth borrowed memories he'd gotten as stories of conquest from other dragons when he was younger to pretend he understood. It was good for him, to have this time to vent, to feel understood. He was doing what he needed to feel okay. Tough luck for K'zin. « Ras, I need a ride. » So Rasavyth found him one. |
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