Logs:The Cost of Freedom?
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| RL Date: 9 September, 2015 |
| Who: Dee, Ka'ge, Taeliyth, Zymadiath |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: After Dee's run in with Jo, she has goldriders on the brain and with a run in with Ka'ge, it naturally turns to how being a goldrider affects her personal life. They negotiate. |
| Where: Lake Shore, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 9, Month 10, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Weather: Clear and impossibly blue skies carry a hint of autumnal woodsmoke on the breeze. |
| OOC Notes: Relationshippy stuff~ |
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>---< Lake Shore, Fort Weyr >------------------------------------------------<
The lake's shore is a broad crescent of golden-hued sand, stretching from
the southwest wall near the feeding grounds and around to the southeast
where the sand gives way to soil and leaf detritus from a cluster of hardy
mountain trees. Where the lake deepens, clear blue water darkens to murky
teal, hiding stony depths. Dragons often sun here and riders use the lake
for dragonwashing in the warmer seasons, while all of the Weyr's denizens
may enjoy walks and picnics among the large, smooth boulders that
interrupt the smooth flow of sand. Many of the Weyr's children also play
at skipping stones with the wide variety of rocks available along the
water's edge.
Clear and impossibly blue skies carry a hint of autumnal woodsmoke on the
breeze. Visualization exercises followed air and ground drills, as they usually do before the break for lunch, but for whatever reason, today visualization exercises were given as a free-practice, each weyrling left to practice what they felt they need the most work on with while the dragon of each pair checks in with visuals with the assistants' dragons on duty. Dee made a stop in the barracks where she no longer lives to swap into teal running shorts and a lavender tanktop while Taeliyth performed her role of 'hider' in this game of visualization hide-and-seek as a warm-up for the more complicated images for betweening. Now, they stand together by the lake, Dee's shoes off and her feet in the water. Now and again she murmurs, but the words don't carry. Given the way Taeliyth's head shifts now and again, there's returned conversation there. They look companionable, peaceful. Zymadiath and Ka'ge are certainly not doing the best at these drills. Forcing shadows to produce an image and keep it without it fading away or being engulfed in further blackness has been a challenge which seems to perpetually cause the young rider and his bronze to remove themselves from the group to either argue or- more likely- brood about the frustrations of it. In fact, the bronze is still 'hiding' as part of the drill. Ka'ge stands with his arms folded a couple of dragonslengths from Dee and Taeliyth, though not 'seeing them' or demonstrating that he has. Instead, his eyes, unhooded, sweep across the bowl slowly. The effort seems as though it's given up on pin-pointing and instead is just looking for the already blue-sized bronze. Suddenly he looks upwards to the sky at the same moment the shadow of a dragon swoops down from a ledge near the Sanctuary. Zymadiath's landing is one with a snort. A signal that it should have been an easy one. An annoyed shrug, a shake of his head and a turn for the lakeside signal the boy's return silent response of 'whatever'. A few strides from Dee, he stops, blue-green eyes watching her casually before turning out over the water, but words don't yet come. Taeliyth's head turns at the sound of wings, but it's just a glance. Dee's eyes follow briefly, but then they're back to whatever they're going on about. The girl's hand briefly touches the gold's neck before Taeliyth is shifting to step into the lake, leaving the humans of the pairings on the shore. "Hi," is what Dee comes up with for the bronzerider, turning to take a pair of steps closer to him to be at a more comfortable distance for talking, if indeed any talking will be done in the time when an awkward silence threatens to settle. Ka'ge could easily be described as cold at first, though given their last interaction is not so different than then. With the perpetuating frustration of the Betweening visualization lessons, it could be chalked up to that, but likely not exclusively. "Hey." Is indeed pursuing an awkward moment. His gaze follows Zymadiath as the bronze's head tilts slightly, considering, and then decidedly takes his low-settled stalking gait to the lakeside to slip into the water almost serpentine more than wolfishly as his nature is growing to become. Wings spread just beneath the water's surface, a heavy sigh leaving him. Following that time- be it comfortable or uncomfortable silence- a slow but still naturally smug edge of a grin finds its way onto Ka'ge's tired expression. "You two looked content. Things getting- eh.. easier?" "In some ways," Dee answers with a little shrug to her shoulders. "We're talking more now, at any rate, and have less to be frightened about separately, if more to be frightened of together. A common cause helps." One hand rises to push through short locks a little self-consciously. "You haven't invited me by." It's an observation in search of an explanation; probably, Dee has come up with more than one as to why and some of those might be way she's holding so still, as if waiting to see if the explanation will come like a slap to the face. Ka'ge looks back over his shoulder, probably not too uncommon of a feature for him given he always seems to check and sometimes double check his surroundings casually by his general nature. But this time, the check seems to be prolonged as much as in thought as making sure there's nobody within ear-shot. "There's been ripples after my visit to your weyr." His voice is quiet but stoney, level. The fact that he cares about that is volumes worth. His arms unfold from themselves, and one hand hovers as if with intent to 'help' place that lock of hair behind an ear, but in the end he simply shoves his hands in his pockets. "I care about how you feel." His dark voice seems to have difficulty saying that, but he seems plenty serious and, thusly, earnest in it. "And I didn't want you to feel obligated to coming to my weyr. It's.. far away from other weyrs, secluded." All excuses, all of those things, and his eyes narrow as he turns his attention back to the lake. Dee watches him, taking in his body language as much as his words. She remains rooted where she is, with the water just over her feet. She starts simple, "Ripples?" It's inquiry that expects more than a yes or no. Ka'ge's seriousness dissolves slightly with a crooked and dismissive mild grin, an idle, lazy wave adding to the gesture. "You know me better than that." Meaning, his willingness to share details. "Regardless, my attentions provoked you to request a door. Which you know," He shrugs and there's a clear attempt to mute a smirk with it, "Would be more a-" He cuts off his self-preening for sake of not spiraling the conversation in the wrong direction. He sighs heavily, gaze shifting to observe Dee a little closer, "Anyway, you're welcome to come visit." "You aren't the only reason I asked for a door," Dee answers with a sigh, turning toward the water, her arms crossing loosely over her chest. "I like doors. I don't see what's wrong with wanting a door. Every bungalow back home has a door. Some even have more than one. Cave-dwellers just can't understand that a door is wonderful just for being a door." She gripes, she huffs, she sighs as she talks. "You're welcome to invite me to visit on an evening we're both free," she returns to him; she wants a specific invitation not an open door. "It's hard for them not to see it as a need for extra security here." Ka'ge adds with another shrug and a slight raised- maybe even a little amused- brow. Her reply leads to a less standoff-ish feel, and the young bronzerider bends briefly to untie his boots before kicking them off to the side and, without all too much time, stepping into the lake's cool water beside her, if maybe a little behind. "What duties do you have tonight?" Is quieter, if through a grin, given his now much closer range. "Helping prepare for the tithes to arrive," Dee says with apology. "I might be free later in the evening." The girl considers the water, not looking back to Ka'ge. "If I didn't want to be exclusive, would that matter to you? Change how you feel?" It's a sudden question, quiet but certainly awkward in nature. Ka'ge clears his throat as he takes a step to the side, watching his feet as they upturn the muddy soil beneath the waters. "Yeah, of course." To the tithes, that is. He shakes his head, again dismissive, brows furrowed as he continues to focus downwards. Decidedly painful for the young man to behave himself, he doesn't look exactly comfortable in the moment. Short idle strides take him away a couple of steps and back, though not as close as before. "Does it matter to me?" The question is returned with a curious amusement, his eyes slanting to her briefly before going back down to the water. His muscular shoulders and arms are more noticable lately, despite his typical baggy clothing that he still sports unless covered over by his actually not-too-bad hand-me-down riding gear. Maturing, perhaps. "I don't think that matters." To which part of her addendum that is to? He doesn't clarify. Dee levels a look on Ka'ge now, twisting enough to do so. It's the kind of look that gives plain warning. Then she waits. Ka'ge chuckles under his breath, inappropriately timed but more on-par to his nature and expected than the rest of the feelings he's been trying and ultimately failing to share. He doesn't return that look; he can feel the weight of it just fine. "Considering everything we've been through, do you really think my answer is going to change your mind?" "Considering everything that we've been through, do you really think your answer is going to mean nothing to me?" Dee answers, arms unfolding and hands settling onto her hips in the time-honored look of a woman prepared to be thoroughly pissed off. "It may mean something, but I don't think it would change anything." Ka'ge stands up straighter to watch Dee's expressions. "You have a lot on your plate, and it's not like I'm in the center of it." His hands are removed from his pockets to spread in his shrug, in that typical 'I don't know' poise. "There's a reason you're asking me that question, and I've found that my weakest skill- as vast as my good ones are- is changing your mind." "You're avoiding the question." Dee isn't about to let him get away with it this time. "One more chance." She offers. Her face is increasingly flushed, the blush of temper touching the part of her chest that the scoop of the neck of the tanktop leaves open to view. Ka'ge watches the touch of pink flush into Dee's skintone, and instead of any defensiveness, it's a calm and broadening grin that counters her. "I've never had much, Dee. And what I do have, I don't like to share." There's a semblance of a warning in the finality of it. Dee's shoulders sag in defeat, looking away then turning away, her arms curling around herself, this time in a hug. "Then it's best if you don't have me. Even if I wanted not to be shared, I'm not unshareable. Not by grace of flight or rank. I am not my own." It's said with deep emotion attached. "That's not what you said." Ka'ge still seems unperturbed, particularly calm despite the subject of conversation. He does take a step to follow her, though he doesn't reach to touch her. "I didn't think we were talking about flights or rank. I know what you are. And I wouldn't blame Taeliyth for never choosing Zymadiath." There's a growl from afar at that, but clearly the two are having one of their many off-days and it amounts to nothing more than that echo of a response. "There's a difference between what you were asking, and your needs for the Weyr." "Is there?" Dee asks, sighing, still with her back to him. "I don't think so. Not really. I wanted what my parents have. Love, a family, home. I wanted that someday. Now... I'm eighteen," someone had a turnday, "Within the next three turns if I'm being very generous, I'll have to take on the Weyr. Already, I'm busy all the time. Already, I don't have time for myself or my wants or needs. If you don't like sharing, you won't like being with me. Who's to say I'll even have enough energy for sex when I get home a the end of the night most nights?" There's a little edge of panic in her voice, more than a little stress. Someone's been thinking a lot. Too much, if one judges by the sigh heaved by the gold in the water. "I can't remember a time I had something I liked," A beat, "Besides you." Ka'ge reaches a gloved hand to brush the hair away from the nape of her neck, if only to watch it fall back again. "I also never said that I couldn't share," He chuckles in that dark undertone of his, "Just that I don't like to. Some things are worth fighting for." And by the sound of it, he's already done a significant amount. "You've made me wait over a turn with no particular time in the immediate future for-" There's a grin that takes the place of the word 'sex', not that he has a problem saying it, but there's a touch of amusement that trails the sentence off, "You really think waiting a sevenday between having you will be nearly as difficult?" Dee turns back toward Ka'ge now, her eyes with that distinctively Dee wide-eyed vulnerability. "What if it is? And I'm not ready to settle down." It's almost a plea. "I'm going to have to be settled in so many ways, I don't want to be caged by my own feelings, too." She searches his face, his eyes, blinking as she does. Ka'ge doesn't quite expect that sudden turn, nor that response. But the reaction she gets seems as though he did, a thin grin masking whatever he could have, perhaps would have, shown. "Then don't be." He notes smoothly, but too calmly to be any real emotion, a gloved finger lifting to tap underneath her chin very briefly. "I'll wait." With that, he turns from her, unable to continue to meet that wide-eyed look that suckers him so. Zymadiath turns within the water by some unspoken decision, striding from the water which streams from each of his pointed angles. "No," Dee answers reaching to try to hook his wrist in her hand lest he try to 'go', "That's the trade off." No more waiting for freedom. "Tonight. After I'm done with the records." Ka'ge is paused midstep, his arm caught. Even Zymadiath pauses in the distance; for as much as the two remain at odds, the shadows are still something of the same. The bronzerider looks over his shoulder but doesn't really look at her, his expression set in an unreadable but not unkind thing. "I won't say no either way," Comes at first as an attempt at an inappropriate joke, said with all the arrogance those words could come with, "But is this just a tonight thing, or..?" "Depends on how you are in bed," Dee answers letting her smile turn cheeky. "After all, didn't you once say I might not want you after the first time?" There's gentle teasing as her hand slides to try to find his gloved one and twine fingers. "But we're not together, exclusively," she needs to clarify just in case. "Just... still figuring things out without-- boundaries." She chooses that last word with a blush. There's a drawn silence that is likely surprise more than anything, though considering that Ka'ge's fingers curl around hers and, as he turns, he draws her a step or two closer to him, it's not an unwelcome surprise. His eyes seek hers at that, narrowed both curiously and playfully. Part of it may be that he doesn't fully believe her, but he seems willing to toy with the situation to see how it may play out. "Are there.. rules?" It's possible from Dee's expression that she hadn't thought about rules until Ka'ge suggested them. (Way to go, Ka'ge!) Now that he mentions it, she nods. "No coming into my weyr at night without invitation. No hurting anyone else I might choose to be involved with. No stalking them either. No sending Chiv to find out who I'm with. If I'm with anyone." She stipulates, her expression earnest and searching his. "Do you have any rules?" For her, presumably. Ka'ge looks away, not bothering to hide his smirk even if his free hand does come up to rub over and down his face before returning to his side. "And if I break any of those rules?" Well, if she finds out that he does, anyway. To her returned question, he considers it only briefly, "If I say no, is that easier for you?" "Then we're done," Dee can say it easily now. It sounds easy, doesn't it? There's even a little shrug to go with it. "I don't like easy, I like honest," isn't an answer either, but it does clearly express her desire for an answer. Ka'ge shakes his head slowly, though a thin albeit forced grin remains, "I could just do some of them without you ever knowing, but I will admit to you now that I can't promise you all of those things. Not following them, not seeing what their intentions are? Even if you're happy to believe everyone is perfect and nice, I'm not." His light eyes narrow, and he squeezes her hand before lightening his grip to allow her to remove her hand if she so chooses after he speaks his next, "If you don't want our protection from close, then we'll do it from afar." We being specific to include all three of the shady creatures that encompass Ka'ge's little band. "Is it going to bother you to know who I'm bedding, if I'm bedding anyone other than you?" Dee counters without addressing his points, yet. "More than I thought it would, but it won't be directed towards your attention unless I find out..." A pause is pressed as Ka'ge considers more careful wording. His demeanor could be more considered business-like in his seriousness than romantic in light of the situation, "Important information that would benefit you to hear." That seems, perhaps, to at least follow the rule regarding violence... flights excluded, of course. "You should expect no less." Dee sighs. "I don't like it," she has to say it and it shows in her face. "But fine. But still, no invading my privacy. No visibly bothering them without reason. And if your stalking loses me someone important to me, however fleetingly, we're done, do you understand?" She gives him a very direct, no-nonsense look. If this weren't about their as yet non-existent sex life, she might almost seem weyrwomanly. "Visibly." Ka'ge chuckles more openly at that as he releases her hand as if she'd meant it as a joke. Her intense look following that pointed statement gets one in return, his sentiment dry, starkly unattached and unbending, "If I make you lose someone, they needed to be lost." He grows slightly tense in that sincerity and as a result of some particular point she'd said. He steps back from her, gaze shifting towards Zymadiath briefly before coming back to her with that increased distance. His face is flushed with growing color; of anger, it seems as it steadily grows. "I should let you get your work done." Dee watches him, eyes him more like. "Should we wait?" It sounds like such a simple question. "You're invited to our weyr tonight." Ka'ge says steadily, "For talking, for drinks, for more if the mood suits you, for..," His hand motions slightly in an 'et cetera' type gesture. He steps out of the water to place a palm on the bronze's side who waits silently, forebodingly on the bank. The young man shoves his boots on despite damp feet, and by the time he's looked up again, he's swallowed that pride, that hurt, that whatever it was as he shrugs with a light grin in its place, "Just have Taeliyth let Zymadiath know if you can't make it." Dee doesn't often look suspicious but she does now as she watches the bronzerider. "I'll be there," she answers, lips set in something that is nearly a frown. Taeliyth warbles from the waters then, giving the girl distraction, then the goldrider moves into the water to swim out to her lifemate. |
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