Logs:Truths
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| RL Date: 16 September, 2015 |
| Who: Edyis |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Edyis reflects, Akluseth calls her bluff. |
| Where: Mad Smithcrafter's Den Weyr, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 1, Month 11, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: R'hin/Mentions, Jo/Mentions, Mielline/Mentions, Telavi/Mentions |
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| The door was left open, despite the autumn chill setting in about the weyr. Edyis sat at the table. Bottles of ink lined up meticulously as she worked on the stretched bit of parchment. Her focus was scattered, and she wanted a distraction from the things she didn't care to think about. She half contemplated calling N'rek over, Faranth knew the latest round of safety drills had her too tired to trek out to Telgar, but he'd probably be tired too. He'd probably come anyway, though; She dismissed the thought with a smile, trying to wrangle her attention back onto the neatly ordered letters on the page. She almost succeeded. « You, are restless. » His ever changing tides arrested her attention, drawing her from her work on the transcription. "I am content." Edyis's fingers tightened on the pen, resuming the careful strokes. It was truth enough. Still, his winds twisted at the corners of her mind, that familiar call to action, to movement, ever present at the edge of her thoughts. « You want more. » The barriers that had existed since the beginning were erected as he extracted the truth she denied herself. "I am not greedy." Ink-dark eyes lifting to focus on the restless brown, watching his eyes whirling swiftly in the dark. His silence as effective as words. "I can be content with what I have, what I am allowed to have." She reiterates. "I have people who care. A place to call home. It's enough." She repeats, insistent. Salt-sea winds plucked the memory, washing it up on that contested shoreline like so much driftwood. Those determined eyes focused on her as the question was repeated in Telavi's voice, a whisper on his winds. "What is it like to be stuck, forever. " The very question that continued to incite an urge to knock that dimpled smile clean off the woman's face. "It is enough." She repeated, feeling the twinge in her jaw as she said it. Exhaling, she repeated the words more softly, as though voicing the thought would make it so. She was over it, she reminded herself, things changed and always would change. R'hin wasn't angry with her. It was enough. « You really believe that you don't care? » Of course she believed it. The indignant thought lashing back reflexively against the waves. Her attention refocused on the act of transcribing her notes. Not that it stopped her from considering that question. She was passable as a rider, they graduated and that was all. Snowdrift had taken them on, even if it didn't feel like the place where she belonged they owed it to Mielline for taking them on. Even if the hours spent learning safety drills and the ins and outs of search and rescue ate into the time she needed to handle the rum runs, and her visits to see N'rek. It wasn't like there was anything else she could do, she wasn't skilled enough. Wasn't wise enough. Wasn't patient enough. Maybe she would learn, maybe she wouldn't. None of that mattered, they had to deal with what they could do at the moment. "It's where we belong." She answered aloud. As much for herself as her lifemate, as though repeating the words could somehow make them more truthful than they felt. "It is the limit of what we are and what we can do. To expect anything else, to want anything else, that was only setting herself up for disappointment, heartache, or further ridicule. It was the lesson she'd learned in childhood. You accept what you are given, and you are grateful for it. « So you've become a coward. » Unexpectedly, she felt the icy thrash of his waters, leaving the taste of salt stinging in her mouth. She stared at him then. It was rare for Akluseth to lash out in temper, but she could feel it, his seas icing over. He wasn't a creature of ambition, and as mentally she clawed at the ice to identify its source she only found herself impeded further. I've always been one." Feeling her own irritation rising at his judgement. "What is so wrong with wanting to be happy, with being content?" With realizing that the things you wanted were impossible. The crash of his tail against the floor set the table to rattle, ink jars overturned ruining the hours of work she'd put into the parchment sheet she had been working on. Claws scraping against stone as he moved from his couch. « Nothing wrong with being happy, just with being complacent. » He states, his watery tenor flecked with agitation. « You should stop lying to yourself and everybody else about what you want though. I am sick of it. » She watched, stunned as he went out on the ledge, and leapt into the night sky. Leaving her alone with her thoughts. What did she want? Edyis wondered then, taking a rag to the ruined sheet and sopping up the ink, irritation seeping into her thoughts as she righted the bottles. What was she missing, that Akluseth could feel it and she could not? Telavi's question came to mind again and she found herself wiping the table so furiously that the ink bottles tipped again. Stuck. The word became the source of a fury that broiled somewhere deep in her belly. She could accept her limitations, she could accept that she had a great deal to learn, and that her pride would be something she couldn't reclaim. She could even accept that some people would always hate her no matter how hard she tried to be amiable. What she couldn't accept was the idea that her life was forever stuck in stasis. No, Akluseth was right. It was high time she did something about it. |
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Comments
Alida (01:58, 17 September 2015 (PDT)) said...
FIght against constraint until the bloody, bitter end! Just, uhh... do it better than Alida is. In fact, give her some 'smooth' pointers, and she'll help supply the 'application of force.' ;D
Jo (11:57, 17 September 2015 (PDT)) said...
Akluseth. Slamming Ed with some truth!
Tela (11:29, 19 September 2015 (PDT)) said...
Isn't it awful how work gets in the way of sex and a side job?!
... *dimples* :D
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