Logs:With a Whimper
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| RL Date: 23 March, 2012 |
| Who: K'del |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: K'del and Milani's relationship ends, very quietly. |
| Where: Cadejoth's Ledge, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 22, Month 4, Turn 28 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: A'son/Mentions, Milani/Mentions |
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| It had been a long time coming. K'del knew that, of course: he could think back to half a dozen realisations, these past-- months. More than months. Whole turns. He couldn't remember, anymore, what the first indications had been, but he'd known for a long time that things weren't the way they had been. It had turned into a clear night, almost warm. Proper spring, at least. He sat on the ledge, Cadejoth warm and comforting at his back, and stared vacantly out over the moonlit bowl. They'd said goodbye, this evening. Finally, after dancing around the subject for all that time, it had all come out. And now it was over. He felt as though he ought to be relieved, but all he felt was emptiness. Part of him argued that that meant he should run after her, insist that it had all been a mistake, that actually, he couldn't manage without her. Life didn't work like that. It would be the wrong thing to do. It was month four, now, and in a couple more months it would be month six, and month six would mark ten turns since that first afternoon, that tryst on the mattress. He'd been sixteen, then, just barely; a weyrling. She'd been the Headwoman. It hadn't meant anything - just fun, really, just a game. It hadn't meant anything for a while after that, after A'son, after-- everything else. Once upon a time, he hadn't been able to work out when he'd fallen in love with her. Now, he couldn't work out when he'd stopped. "I love you," he'd said, tonight. "But I don't think I'm in love with you anymore. And I don't know what to do about it." It turned out there was only one thing, really. Better now than later. Better end up, clean, when they were still friends. Better for everyone. Better for Nikalas, who would probably remember very little, later, of those days when his parents were together. Whatever that meant. What had it meant? Now, at the end of it all, K'del mulled on that. They'd never weyrmated, not officially. They'd never been exclusive. They might as well have been casual lovers, these ten turns, as far as most of the weyr knew. In retrospect, he wondered if it might have changed things - if things might have been different, somehow. It was too late for that. Too late to wonder; too late to dwell. Nearly ten turns, and now it was over. It turned out, you could go from friends and lovers to people in love. But the opposite? It just doesn't work that way. He missed her already. |
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