View source for Logs:A Heart-Bursting Kind of Love

{{Log
|Involves=High Reaches Weyr
|type=Vignette
| who = N'ky
| where = N'ky and Cailluneth's couch
| what = N'ky's left with a lot to think about after his session with Madilla. 
| when = Late night, Day 1, Month 7, Turn
|day=1
|month=7
|turn=31
|IP=Interval
|IP2=10
| gamedate = 2013.04.13
| quote = 
| weather = 
| mentions = Madilla, K'zin, Mave, Barnabas, Quinlys, Meara
| ooc = This takes place after [[Logs:Speech_Therapy|Speech Therapy]]. After reading, Azaylia said that this was the perfect song for the vignette, but also N'ky and Cailluneth as a whole: http://youtu.be/1gY01SBClt8
| icons = n'ky dreamy.jpg, n'ky cailluneth n'ky.jpg
| log = 
Even if his classes with Madilla highlighted the one thing he hated most about himself, N’ky always left them feeling somewhat better. It didn’t matter whether they were working or not, but the fact that he was doing ''something'' to get rid of his stutter was enough on its own. 

Today’s class had been different. Well, no. Not the ''class'' itself, but the deluge of emotional crap that he’d spilt to the Weyrhealer before. 

It had been embarrassing and awkward as hell, but carrying all of that around had been weighing down on him, with the lack of a silver thread being the straw that broke the burdenbeast’s back, so to speak. He’d really hoped that he would be chosen, so he would have the opportunity to prove that he could ''be'' something – it was the first ambitious thing he’d ever wanted, and to ''not'' get it was a real blow. 

But, then again, would he really have been able to cope with the extra pressures of the leadership programme, when he was already struggling so badly with everything he already had to handle? All of the work was getting to him, and the emotional nonsense on top of it – his confusing feelings for K’zin and Mave, his homesickness, not feeling good enough, not ''being'' good enough, in Quinlys and Meara’s eyes – was not helping things. 

Sighing, N’ky rolled over, cuddling closer to his dragon’s warmth. She was big enough now that ''she'' cuddled ''him'' in the mattress nest they still shared, with her wing extended over him like a blanket while she curled around him, her foreleg acting as a pillow. 

He was glad he’d let Cailluneth take down a wherry as ''well'' as her usual herdbeast at the pens that night; she’d been so full that she’d been soundly asleep during his breakdown. That hadn’t stopped her from panicking when she woke up later and found the episode in her usual trek through his memories to find out what she’d missed while they were apart. It had taken a whole lot of soothing to calm her down, but she eventually settled back to sleep, reassured that all was well with her heart.

N’ky wished it was so easy for ''him'' to fall asleep, but he couldn’t switch off his mind. 

''I have to let Waki know. '' That much, at least, was obvious to him. He had no idea ''how'' to do it, but he couldn’t run away again. Knowing that he’d hurt his friend was killing him; pushing him away was killing him even more. Madilla was right; he ''couldn’t'' do that. He needed his best friend, now more than ever. ''I just need to find the right ''time'' to do it. And the right ''way''.'' 

The rest could wait. His friendship with K’zin was the most important thing, and he now knew that he would do whatever he could to get it back on track… once he figured out how to do it. 

It’d come to him. When the time was right. 

Still not quite tired, he reached out into Cailluneth’s thoughts, sharing her colourful dreams. She must have felt him there, or felt his need for reassurance, because he could feel the mental comfort and warmth of that special, fuzzy-soft lilac and lavender she used like a blanket, wrapping soothingly around him. His heart skipped a beat, as it always did when it felt as if it could burst with the all-consuming love he had for her; it then settled into the lullaby rhythm of the heartbeat within her thoughts, gentle, slow, steady, the melding of his golden-pink lifeforce with her rainbow one. 

Dragon> We’ll pick some flowers for Madilla in the morning, Cailluneth.

He knew she was just awake enough to hear, and a quick-paced, silvery lub-dub lub-dub confirmed that she agreed. 

It took a while longer before N’ky drifted off to sleep. Exactly when it happened he didn’t know, because he was lost in Cailluneth’s kaleidoscopic dreams when it happened.

They woke up early the next morning, early enough to sneak off to the greenhouse. It was empty when N’ky got inside; he’d half-hoped to run into Bones, to ask permission. But, since the gardener wasn’t there, he meandered back and forth to find what he thought were the prettiest flowers, putting together a bunch of them in yellow, pink and white. A long, ribbon-like leaf from another plant served well enough to tie them together; he even managed somewhat of a bow to make it all look a bit prettier. 

On a page torn from his notepad, N’ky quickly scribbled a note to Bones: ''Dear sir, I took some flowers to give to miss Madilla. I’m sorry if that wasn’t allowed. I promise I’ll apologise to you properly when I see you next. N’ky and Callie.'' He folded it into quarters, scribbled the gardener’s name on it, then weighted it down with a rock just inside the door, so it wouldn’t be missed whenever Bones turned up.

Before sneaking into the infirmary to drop the present off, N’ky wrote a second note. ''Dear Weyrhealer Madilla, thank you for listening and for your patience. N’ky.'' He tucked it into the bouquet, then propped it up against the door of Madilla’s office for her to find. 

Feeling decidedly better for having decided what needed to be done to set things ''right'' again, N’ky and Cailluneth fell into their regular daily routine – with the weyrling teen lavishing extra love and attention on his lifemate. ''She’d'' known all along that he was special, and N’ky knew that no amount of the world’s most intense, heart-bursting love – such as what he felt for her – could ever thank her enough for that. 



}}