Logs:Guilty Pleasures - Revision history

K'del at 23:02, 9 April 2015

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K'del at 01:31, 16 November 2011

2011-11-16T01:31:33Z

K'del: Created page with "{{ Log | who = K'del | where = Weyrling Barracks, High Reaches Weyr | what = K'del's guilty pleasure. Sexual references. | when = | gamedate = YYYY.MM.DD | quote = | weather = ..."

2011-11-16T01:31:07Z

Created page with "{{ Log | who = K'del | where = Weyrling Barracks, High Reaches Weyr | what = K'del's guilty pleasure. Sexual references. | when = | gamedate = YYYY.MM.DD | quote = | weather = ..."

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{{ Log
| who = K'del
| where = Weyrling Barracks, High Reaches Weyr
| what = K'del's guilty pleasure. Sexual references.
| when =
| gamedate = YYYY.MM.DD
| quote =
| weather =
| categories = Vignette
| mentions =
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| log = K'del waits until Cadejoth is asleep to sate his other needs. In the dark, in the quiet, he beats off to an endless procession of women - breasts, hips, thighs, bellies, breasts again, and pert little bottoms, too - with faces that never stay the same from one moment to the next. Girls, and women, he knows. Some he imagines. He suspects his female classmates might not be thrilled to know that they feature, if only briefly, in his masturbatory adventures; he's pretty certain his teachers, his superiors, would definitely not be. Others... hard to know. He'll never ask.

It's not quite the nightly ritual it used to be (that is, nights that didn't involve bedmates with more presence than his trusty hand), before Cadejoth; sometimes, he's too tired, too distracted. But most nights, biting his lip to avoid crying out, concentrating in the dark, cleaning up afterwards - it's still a ritual.

Does he feel guilty? Kas doesn't really think about it, much, but maybe a little. He worries that his feelings will seep into Cadejoth's dreams, and maybe warp his little baby mind forever, but Cadejoth always seems oblivious, dreamless in his dead sleep way. He still thinks about it. Kas, that is. Frets, but only briefly, beforehand, and never afterwards, when that calm spreads across him and he curls up to sleep.

He can't, after all, be the only one. Half of them are teenage boys, some of the others a bit older, but still: it's not unusual. The girls, too, maybe. Some of them. Do they all hide it from their lifemates, from their clutchmates? Shuddering in the dark, one by one?

Sometimes, it's all he can do to wait until Cadejoth is asleep. He has to hide his thoughts a lot. When he bathes. When he flirts with a pretty girl. When a pretty girl flirts with him. Sometimes, for no apparent reason at all. Maybe Cadejoth is warped already, his brain perverted by his rider's -- his rider's what? Teenageness? That, surely, isn't a crime.

One night, a very unusual thing happens, and Cadejoth wakes. He's usually asleep from the moment he lays down until it's time to wake up in the morning, but not tonight. Kas is gasping, catching his breath, too distracted to notice at all until he feels the querulous thread of his lifemate's mind in his. ''<< Are you crying, K'del? Are you upset? >>''

Kas freezes, wiping his hand upon his nightshirt, as he rolls over to look at the bronze, who blinks at him with sleepy lids. Oh! No, Cadejoth, go back to sleep. Everything's fine.

''<< You were-- >>'' Cadejoth doesn't have the word for it, but projects, instead, the sensation: shuddering, rocking, breathless. He's uncertain.

It's nothing, Cadejoth, promise. Everything's fine. I'm fine. Really.

Cadejoth trusts his rider. His rider makes the world go 'round. So he accepts this, and slowly, too slowly for Kas who is hiding his thoughts, projecting every soothing, comforting sensation he can, he drifts back to sleep.

It's a dodged bullet, and for a day or two, Kas leaves well alone, forcing himself to ignore the rising feelings, forces himself to bathe in cold water, which leaves him shivering - and Cadejoth confused and concerned. But it's no use: by the third night, K'del can stand it no longer, and with a guilty discomfort, he resumes his habit.

He's only, he reasons, fifteen. And he doesn't seem to have screwed Cadejoth up too much. Anyway, surely he'd forget pretty quickly /anyway/...

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