Difference between revisions of "Logs:A Gift Or A Yoke"

Weyrleader Complex, High Reaches Weyr

Only about a man's height from the ground, this low ledge is wide and flat, reached by a set of timeworn steps that hug the cliff face. As the ledge stretches back away from the head of the stairs, it simultaneously broadens out over the bowl and tunnels into the mountain to become a sort of antechamber, from which a passageway winds back to the Weyrwoman's weyr, the council room, the records room and the hatching sands. A small round table is set in a shallow alcove here, surrounded by four chairs that provide a waiting area for those seeking one of the weyrleaders.

Another short flight of stairs leads upward from the tapering end of the ledge to the Weyrleader's quarters, while others lead to the further recessed junior queens' weyrs. While it's hard to get a good look at the lake from here, the view does encompass the majority of the bowl and the comings and goings across its span.

It's mid afternoon on one of those thundery, stormy, snowy days, less than two sevens off Turnover, and Azaylia - by all reports - is in the Council Chambers enjoying a visit from one of Telgar's junior goldriders. That leaves K'del at something of a loose end, since he so enjoys working in there, except he seems to be making use of the time. He stands - bends, really - at the base of the stairs that lead up to Aishani's weyr, and, quite calmly, sets something down, arranging it carefully with gloved fingers.

Everyone seems to enjoy working in the council chambers. Aishani did, until she no longer had reason to hang around there, in her estimation. She does have reason to hang around in the complex though - it's easiest way to get some air, once the sands grow too hot and the snow is too much outside the galleries. When she steps out for a breath this time, it's just in time to see K'del outside her weyr, arranging whatever it his he's arranging. It narrows dark eyes, but rather than say anything, she tries to creep up on him more or less, clear her throat quietly when she's near enough.

A spy, K'del will never be. It may not have occurred to him to listen for anyone's approach, as stupid as that sounds, or perhaps he's just so focused on arranging the knot - for that is what it is: a junior weyrwoman's knot, all tassels and cords - upon that bottom step, not unlike the way another knot was left, once upon a time. The sound of Aishani's throat being cleared is, however, a step too far for him to be able to miss, and his hand accordingly shoots back to his side as he straightens, and the turns. "Well," he says. "Not like you wouldn't've guessed who it came from anyway. Hello, Aishani."

After a moment looking at the knot arranged there, as if she might be able to disintegrate it with her glare, Aishani eventually turns that look on the acting Weyrleader before, "K'del." She's wearing her knife again, but she folds her arms, so at least she won't be going for that at the moment. "Not wasting any time about imposing your will on the Weyr, then? I'm not your job." Since she's an expert on what's whose job.

"No, but Azaylia's presently interviewing junior goldriders, so if you want to stay at High Reaches, you might as well consider accepting my little turnover gift. It was this time last turn, wasn't it? Kind of like the synchronicity of it." K'del doesn't seem bothered by Aishani's reaction to his 'gift', nor to the look she's giving him more directly. He's not, at least, smiling. "Frankly, I'd rather not send you away, but if you're not going to contribute, if you refuse to contribute, can't see we've much choice."

"'Gift'. That's not a gift, that's a yoke, so I can work under Azaylia and make her look good when neither you nor her did the slightest thing to help me." Aishani nods toward the step, tone skeptical. "I can't see why I should contribute or why I should even care. I didn't give up that knot, I gave up the Weyrwoman's. If I wasn't interested in that, why should I be interested in being a junior? Her junior?" Glancing back toward the council chambers, "Interviewing goldriders, like that will make some difference? As if any of them won't lie to get what they want anyway? Without ever confronting me? It's pathetic."

There are a lot of things K'del could say to that, and likely there are a lot of things he might like to say. In the end, he raises his eyebrows and wonders, levelly, "What are you interested in, then, Aishani? If you don't want to work under Azaylia, I'll assign you to a fighting wing. Or we'll return you to Monaco. I'd rather avoid that, but... Look. None of us are perfect. But we're trying. I'm trying. Azaylia does intend to talk to you, and frankly, she's going to be furious that I got here first. But it seems to me like it's better for you if you do it on your terms. So I ask: what do you want?"

Dismissively, "She can be furious. As you were so clever to point out, there's been a turn, hasn't there?" Perhaps Aishani herself didn't expect that, but now that it's been that long... "Why? Why do you want to avoid that? I've been half-expecting to be sent back to Monaco for awhile now. If I can be replaced, why not replace me? No one wants me here, or respected me when I was trying." She doesn't look as she expects K'del to believe the last, or answer her, but she at least seems to be considering the last question, fine brows drown together in a frown.

Rather than answer her, K'del sucks in a breath, holds it for several seconds, and then exhales. Finally, in a tone that is more thoughtful than dismissive, "Few people ever wholeheartedly respect the decisions of their leaders. You know that as well as I do: someone always thinks they could do a better job, especially with hindsight. This time, I'm just trying not to care." He's still waiting, eyes trained upon her in an expectant kind of way. "Can't believe you want to be sent back to Monaco."

"Not everyone starts an open rebellion," Aishani points out, perhaps a touch bitterly. "You should all just be glad I stay out of your way rather than make your life difficult in the many ways I could. No matter where I live." Maybe the point is, it doesn't really matter if she's sent away or not. Though she wasn't going into her weyr when she came out, she starts up the steps now, skipping the first - but she stops there for a moment. "The only time I get what I want is when I take it." A pause. "If we are necessary, which makes these interviews performance, I want to know we won't be sent away, because I won't have that over my head. If I do my duties, I want to be left alone. And I want the Weyr to officially support Ienavi for Nabol. This has gone on too long, and the other options are less than attractive."

K'del is silent and visibly impassive in the wake of Aishani's first remarks, his gaze following her up those stops. "You're not necessary," he says, then. "But I prefer you here to there." Monaco or otherwise. "If you take up your knot and perform your duties, I've no intention of sending you away, nor prying into your affairs-- as long as your affairs are not thrown into my lap. If your affairs come back to me in an official capacity, all bets are off. But I won't seek them out." He opens his mouth, stops, and then starts again. "You're confident that Ienavi's success won't rebound on you, or on the Weyr, then."

Wearily, "If I'm not necessary, K'del, and you just want me around to keep an eye on me? Don't do me any fucking favours. Go hire yourself a new goldrider, transfer yet another one and good luck with it. I'm not your prisoner. I'm not my father." Aishani glances down the steps to him, where the knot sits, suddenly looking rather tired and not a little wistful. "I'm afraid your word or intention isn't enough for me. I can't trust either of you, so I need that in writing if it's going to happen. And I'm confident enough. Certainly confident that if we don't stop her rival, we'll be up to our necks in refugees and Rone will be marching on another Hold shortly after. I tend to prefer decisive action, but no one listens to me." Obviously.

"Why should anyone listen to a goldrider who throws down her knot?" counters K'del, sounding abruptly frustrated - and as though he's desperately trying to bite back those emotions. "And yet, here I am, listening to you now. I wouldn't have asked, if I weren't interested in your answer." Pause. Deep breath. "Can we trust you? Rather think this needs to be a contract on both sides, in that case. I'll have the Harpers write something up. You can approve it. I want it all bedded down before turnover."

"You gave yours up, ran way, left us alone - equally unsuitable for listening, but yet..." Aishani has a sour twist of mouth, lifting her chin a little as she adds, "No one listened before either. There were always reasons. And still are, though I defy you to name a thing that I've done against this place." As K'del talks about Harpers, she nods once, flickering a look between the hatching grounds and the council chambers. "Fine. If I haven't changed my mind in the meantime. I don't..." She sets her jaw, then notes, with a bare thread of defensiveness, "Some people like me at Monaco." With that, she'll turn and start up the stairs again, leaving the knot there for now. Later, if he leaves it, it'll be gone.

"I came back," says K'del - and that's all. He stands there for a few seconds after she's gone, and then he turns to go, leaving that knot behind.