Difference between revisions of "Logs:How To Succeed"

Weyrling Training Cavern, High Reaches Weyr

All the furniture here has been pushed to one side of the room to allow a large pathway opposite: room enough to let weyrling dragons pass from the bowl's archway to the cavernous barracks at the back. None of the furniture matches, either: it varies from big cushioned, claw-footed chairs to those of plain wood, while the most seating is at the two stone tables ringed by low and equally hard stone benches. Without the tapestries that decorate many of the Weyr's other interior spaces, the room always echoes with noise, no matter how few are there.

What it does have, however, are several colorful murals: on one wall, a detailed diagram of a dragon's anatomy; opposite, next to a creaky wooden door, a number of painted and labeled wing formations. Near the entrance is a large-scale version of the Weyr's badge, while the back wall, by the barracks, features a detailed map of the continent. The latter area's also home to one big, beat-up couch, black or maybe blue -- the thing's so old and filthy it's hard to tell, though it's certainly comfortable.

The weyrlings are pretty busy from the moment they wake up until the early evening these days, but there are small chunks of time here and there that allow them some time to do things that they want to do. Like, you know, reading big books about not very exciting things. Ever since E'sren started studying for the exams... he never stopped. Not even when the exams did. Which proved successful because his scores were really good, even if he had to retake math. He's stationed currently at the couch, on it, with the big book and a squint of concentration as he scans the pages. Ahruth is nearby, going through the motions of his own exercise routine. Sure, it's lunch time. But there's totally time enough to eat food and also work, right?

It's another beautiful early summer day, and most of the weyrlings have cleared out to enjoy it in the break between lessons, which may be why E'sren's studiousness catches Quinlys' attention so. The bluerider takes one step out of the little office in the corner and hesitates, red hair falling over one shoulder as she considers first E'sren, and then Ahruth-- and then E'sren again. A few moments later, she swings into motion; once she gets to the couch, she drapes herself over the arm of it, leaning in to see what the weyrling is reading as she says, "You do know that we're not going to give you more exams, right?"

It's a history book, one of those Vol. 2 of 8 situations. Currently he's open to a section that's a split of image and text, a sketch of High Reaches Weyr from above somehow and presumably some information about it on the other side. He has it propped up on his folded leg and is sort of bent slightly over it. He might fall in, but Quinlys arrives in the nick of time. His initial expression is kind of not one until recognition sets in and he sees her. His grin is sudden and boyish, half in welcome and half in acknowledging what he's doing and how maybe-weird that is. "Yeah, you know I did hear something about that. But, uh, I'm not done with this one yet." He leans back and closes the book on his thumb to save his place, tilting his head to narrow one eye at her. "Don't judge me too harshly. Ma'am." Maybe he's testing her, or maybe he's just that comfortable in not being too 'rulesy' right now.

Having identified the book, Quinlys leans back, lazing idly in her draped position. "You brown-nosing, bluerider?" she asks, though there's no question that she's teasing him-- not with an expression like that, or the mirth that's so-audible in her words. "Shells. I'd've thought that stuff would be dreary - deadly boring. But... it takes all sorts, I guess. It's not like I'm going to tell you off for studying, shells." She shifts her foot, wiggling it until she's basically sitting on it, a position that surely can't be comfortable... though she seems to be. More or less.

"Nah, not really my style. You would hate me for it anyway." But he stops to consider and adds, "Wouldn't you?" Her perhaps-uncomfortable position is noted and he shifts over to the arm he closest to, as if the reason she was taking that spot was because he was taking up too much room. "You can sit, unless you like perching. You perching percher. I like this stuff. I like learning about this place. We didn't have access to books like this on the road, sometimes we'd stop in somewhere where they had a bunch, but. Anyway. I guess I'm a little obsessed." E'sren shrugs and then asks abruptly, "How are you doin'?"

Quinlys' eyes open wide: would she? Wouldn't she? Perhaps she's being deliberately coy about it. "I am a perching percher," she says, cheerfully. "Like a bird. I like it." The co-Weyrlingmaster, who has spent this weyrlinghood, thus far, varying wildly between being everyone's friend and being just a little too pleased with her own power, is evidently in a good mood. "It's okay, if you're obsessed. Really. It doesn't bother me, I mean. And there's always one or two scholars. I just find it fascinating when people who didn't have that kind of background... Well. It's just interesting. I'm good. Why do you ask?"

"Fair enough," E'sren concedes, grinning. "And I get that. I guess I'm the other end of the spectrum for extremes, like... I've always felt like I wanted to know more, and now I just have the opportunity I guess. It's awesome. I get headaches from reading too much sometimes." To him, a huge achievement. He shrugs again, not sure what to say. "Just... people usually ask that I think. Nobody's ever asked me why I asked them how they're doing. You're an enigma, don't fly away just yet."

"This little bird is perfectly comfortable on her perch," says Quinlys, with a laugh. Actually, that's probably true: she seems perfectly relaxed, but also, perfectly interested. "Headaches. Shells. You really are pushing it, aren't you? There's, like, a whole lifetime ahead of you for reading these things, remember! You're a High Reaches rider, now. That's how it works. But-- anyway, I'm glad to see you're fitting in. That is, feeling comfortable in this environment, I mean. I don't know. That thing. You and Ahruth seem to be doing pretty well, as far as I can see?"

"I know, I know. You're right." To prove how clearly he sees he has a problem, and as a sign of healing within, E'sren pretends like that book has caused him enough trouble and pushes it off of his lap and onto the seat beside him. When talk shifts to focus on dragon things he tilts his head forward to regard Ahruth fondly. The blue is currently stretching his wings out like a good boy, getting them ready. He pauses to look at them with his strange eyes. "Yeah he's great. We're great. I didn't think it'd be this easy to be with him but he's like the best friend I never had." The two don't share a moment, there's a girl here, but it gets dangerously close. "Anyway. Speaking of that, I guess, well not really but this is as smooth a transition I'm gonna find. What's the leadership program? I heard about that."

That makes Quinlys laugh-- the book, that is, though she seems amused and pleased when he talks about Ahruth, and promptly laughs again at his segue. "Subtle," she says, with the remnants of that laugh still in her voice. "Nice segue. My and Olly were like that - the best friend thing." Maybe, having commented on his segue she now intends to ignore it. "It doesn't happen that way for everyone, but it's nice when it does." For a moment, she seems content to turn her head so that she can see both blue and rider, all at once. She may even be finished speaking. And then, abruptly: "Turns ago, it was decided it might be good to try and prepare people for future leadership positions. People who showed potential. Just so that... well, there's less for them to learn, if they actually get them. We pile them up with extra lessons and see who actually copes. It's hard work. It's brutal." She sounds so pleased about that, too.

And for as long as she seems to be ignoring his question, E'sren is left in the dark about if she heard him? No she did, she replied. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. And so on. "Yeah, it sure is," is his reply, like a trooper in the face of not knowing. And if his watching her while she speaks like he's paying very close attention to what she might say next is any indication, he actually kind of wants to know no, but really, about that leadership thing. Once she does acknowledge it more he doesn't exactly sag relieved, he just kind of relaxes a little. "Brutal, huh? So it'd be crazy to wanna do it," he guesses.

Quinlys, who is more observant than sometimes her demeanor suggests, lets her smile twitch just minutely when he relaxes like that, as if she's just barely managing to suppress her own smugness. Power, man. It does things to people. Stretching, her shoulders rolling back, she considers. "Well, not crazy, although-- haven't you heard that anyone who wants to be a leader has got to be crazy? It's easier to just sit back and watch, believe you me. But-- let's put it this way. I wanted in, and I think it was worth it. But a lot of people don't make it through: they drop out, or we ask them to leave. And it's not like it definitely means you'll ever get a promotion, either. I'm the only one of my cohort who has." Though, given her age, how many opportunities can there have been for them?

That's a lot to think about. Ahruth is the one who ends up prodding E'sren out of that well by slinking low, so sneaky, to the couch to nudge at him with his slender head, which stirs him up. "So." His hand absently smoothes over the blue's muzzle, distracted and pausing in odd places like just there near a nostril. "It's crazy. But also worth it. And what if, say, someone had a really good reason to want to try. Even if it kicks his ass." 'His'. All of the non-specifics fall just as quickly because it's easier to be honest. "I wanna do it. I think I could make it." He stares at the ground during that, but now looks up at her with his so-serious dark eyes. "What did you do to get in?"

"What counts as a really good reason?" Quinlys draws the knee that isn't partially trapped beneath her up, now, letting it balance on the edge of the couch, just in front of her. Her fingers play with the hem of her trousers, though she's not paying attention to that - she's watching Ahruth, thoughtful in her own way. "Me? I was widely considered girl-most-likely-to-Impress-gold." Ysavaeth, for those keeping track. She smirks, eyes rolling in recollection. "Supposedly, anyway. Leadership potential in spades, that's what they said about me. I guess it was more or less a foregone conclusion, for me."

"Oh." Yeah, E'sren wasn't going to Impress gold. Even if there had been one, he probably wouldn't have been a very likely candidate. "So it was kind of like... it would have happened anyway. They picked you for it because it was an obvious choice." These are not comforting conclusions for someone like him, who thinks perhaps too much about some things. After another moment of silence he glances at Ahruth, who is gazing calmly at Quinlys, and shrugs. "It's cliche, I know. But I wanna prove something. That I can do something, I guess, or be something. He chose me, and that makes me something, but I wanna be more too."

Quinlys' nod seems to confirm exactly what E'sren has said; it's a little smug and self-satisfied. It's also entirely possible that there is a lot more to it than what she's related-- that wouldn't be at all surprising. "Ah," she says, abruptly more thoughtful, turning blue-eyed gaze back onto E'sren. "Funny, that's pretty much exactly what K'del used to say, or so I'm told." Before her time, clearly. "If it's something you want, you need to prove it to me. Me and Meara, I mean. And the others. Show us that you've got potential. That you can lead."

There's hope! This isn't a closed door! With that to renew him, E'sren sits up in his seat and leans elbows to knees to gesture with his hands while he asks, "Okay how? What should I do? I wanna do things, I just never feel like it's my place, or I'm not totally sure what to do. Is that something I have to figure out on my own? You're gonna say that aren't you." He squints at her, maybe if he peers hard enough he'll be able to suss out that she will in fact prove him right.

Quinlys laughs, unrestrainedly, her head shaking. "If leadership was as simple as a 'do this thing and you're good', we'd all be good leaders. We wouldn't need to do training at all!" She drops her foot back towards the floor, though not in a way that suggests she's about to flee-- she's just moving around, repositioning herself. "What we're looking for is potential. Step up. Try. You don't have to succeed, but we need to see that you can think that way."

Potential. It's a word that he accepts with a kind of familiarity. A kinship. "Potential, okay. I can do that." E'sren clasps his hands together and nods along with it, although he does eye her a little bit with a slightly betrayed look in his stare for all that laughter. "So basically just show I give a shit and it'll count. I can do that." Which he mentioned already. "Thank you. For both building my confidence and totally destroying it turn by turn." She gets a grin, rueful, for that.

There's a half-hearted apology in Quinlys' expression when she registers that look-- half hearted at best. She slides down off the edge of the couch, now, saying, "That's my job! If we build you up too much, you people get over-confident, and that's useless. It's all better if you actually, you know, do some learning for yourself. Figure things out. Now... I want to get some fresh air before classes resume, so I'll leave you to it. But if you have more questions..." He knows where to find her. Generally.

"I can't argue with your good points," E'sren says dryly, but even dry E'sren has a smile on, though it might wax on the smirky side a little. Now that Quinlys really is going to leave, and since he has so much to think about now, he nods decisively and leans back again, one hand reaching for his discarded book. "Yeah, yeah. Get outta here you crazy kid." Ahruth, quiet until now, lifts his chin to throw a goodbye warble her way. See ya.