Difference between revisions of "Logs:Take Care"

Lake Shore, High Reaches Weyr

The rest of the bowl may be barren, grass barely surviving at best, but here by the lake, it's brilliantly green in the warmer months: thickening and thriving in the silty, boulder-dotted soil just before it transitions to soft sand and thence to the cool, clear water itself.

A large freshwater lake fed by a low waterfall, it not only provides warm-weather bathing space for humans and dragons, but has one end fenced off as a watering hole for the livestock in the feeding grounds. The water there is often muddier than the rest of the clear lake, whose shallows drop off abruptly several yards out into deep water, and whose edge undulates against the coarse-hewn bowl wall: here close enough to just be bramble-covered rocks, there far enough away that a narrow land bridge divides the main lake from a smallish pond. Between are several rocky outcroppings that form excellent makeshift diving points, though only one -- across the bridge -- has a set of narrow, slippery, quite possibly tempting stairs.

Another warm, summer day comes to an end with a relatively still dusk, after a busy day down at the lake. The area is much more abandoned now, however, with dinner long finished, and children off to their beds, and so, K'del is certainly an obvious figure crossing lazily towards the water's edge, shoeless, his sleeves rolled up, his jacket nowhere to be seen. He comes to a halt, his toes digging into the sand, and crouches, to duck both hands into the lightly lapping water.

Along the shore from further along and behind a rock, Milani comes, sandals in hand, feet likewise bare, wading through the shallows with her skirt tucked up a bit. She has rather a thoughtful expression on her face as she draws nearer, though this is replaced with a small smile as she nears the Weyrleader. "Hey Kas," she greets him with the familiar old nickname though. "The water's nice, isn't it?"

K'del's head shoots up at the sound, first, of feet wading through water, and then his attention focuses more certainly at Milani's greeting. "Millie," he greets her, with a smile that is not far off an exact copy of hers. "It is. And it's so - peaceful, now, compared to earlier in the day. Kinda nice to just come out here and just /be/, if you know what I mean." He draws himself back to his feet, wiping his hands upon his trousers.

"I do," she answers quietly and Milani steps closer, her shoeless hand extending to rest against his arm as she leans in to kiss his cheek gently. "That's what I came out for. And to cool off a little and the water just looked irresistible. How're you doing, other than just being?"

K'del's hand, which he drops to her arm as hers extends to his, is cool from the water it was so recently in; his cheek is warmer. "It's beautiful," he agrees. "Summer evenings are something special, that's for sure." His hand doesn't linger, dropping back to his side as he draws in another breath with which to answer her question. "Been better, been worse. Just feeling a bit cooped up, I guess. But - how are you?"

"They are at that and the Reaches has a great summer." Milani tilts her head a little, smiles up at him warmly. "Mm. I agree on been better. I don't think .. that there's been much worse, really," she says slowly and looks a little wry about that. "Cooped up doing work?" she asks, eyes resting on his face.

"Not too hot, not too cool," agrees K'del lightly, though it's obvious the weather is not the topic of conversation that has his full attention at this moment, not given the rest of what Milani says. His hands slide towards his pockets, and he takes a breath. "Yeah. Still getting my head around a lot of it. Guess it'll take some time." Pause. Then, slowly, "Things are going to get better, though, right? For - everyone. Everything. They /are/ getting better."

"Just right," Milani agrees, looking out over the water. Companionably she shifts her hand, aiming to curl her arm within his. "Of course it will, Kas. It's a big change and it's a lot to rest on your shoulders. It's funny ... remember when we were joking around about you being a Weyrleader at sixteen? And here you are ... seventeen, but ..." she trails off. "They are ... getting slowly better."

K'del's not unwilling to keep that physical contact, shifting slightly so as to make it easier, and nods. "Remember that," he says, unable to keep the ruefulness out of his voice. "Shells. Slowly. Yes. And it'll be okay, eventually. And - candidates. That'll be good, right? New blood. Hatchings make people happy." He's rambling, and seems, after that, to realise it, breaking off into silence again.

Milani gives K'del's arm a little squeeze and nods. "Take it each day at a time, hmm?" Encouragement in her voice. "It's something for people to focus on yes, but it's temporary. In some ways though, it buys you time." She's quiet for a moment then says softly: "I think B'sil was a good choice to back you. You need guys like him, you know, to learn from."

K'del reaches his other arm around to squeeze Milani's arm in return, and he nods. "Right. On all counts. I just - having a bit of time, to settle in, without being the focus of everything. That's all I'm hoping for. B'sil... I like him. I'm glad you approve. He's... charismatic. But not overbearing, you know?" He draws in another long breath, glancing across at the Headwoman. "So. That's helping."

"Yes," Milani agrees and dips her head down to his shoulder. "And it seems like you'll get that time. Though tithe season is right around the corner, just a few weeks and you know that can get a little funky if a hold isn't tithing properly. Just ... keep that in mind," Millie says lightly. "We're mostly all over it in the caverns, but Tiriana's likely to pitch a fit instead of being smart if anything is out of line. You'll need to be the level-headed one and try to steer her in the right direction. I'll be trying too, if we get in that kind of a spot," she says thoughtfully and gives his arm another squeeze. "Mm, he's not trying to undermine you from what I can tell and that's important."

K'del squeezes once more, twisting his head around so as to plant a light kiss on her hair. "Ah, tithing. Right. Came in with the tithes, but don't really know much about them... I'll have to watch out, then. Thanks." His lip curls slightly at mention of Tiriana, and he nods. "Felt, briefly, like we were going to get along, the other day. And then she just... went off the deep end. It's so hard to know how to judge, but I /am/ trying." There's another bob of his head for B'sil; "B'ren seemed to want to try and take over, pull the strings from behind. Wasn't going to stand for that."

"All of autumn," Milani says with a little laugh for his quip about coming in with them. "Late summer really it starts, wagons roll in from all the holds with the harvest time to stock the Weyr for the coming turn. "I know, trust me, I know. I've been working with her since she got here, though much more closely since ..." she trails off takes a breath. "Ignore the deep end, if you can. Don't rise to it. If you lose it with her, it just undoes everything." For B'ren there's a little face made. "Well good thing you took care of that then. There's some other riders that might help but ... in the end I don't really get all the wing politics, but I do know a lot of the /people/."

K'del quirks his lips with her laugh, but listens more intently for what she says about the tithes. "Hopefully, coming in with everything we need, and not a bunch of stuff we don't, right? And then we unload it, and you store it all away, and we get to keep eating." He takes a deep breath, for Tiriana, finally nodding. "I /try/. She just knows how to piss me off. Always demeaning anything I've done, implying that I'm not doing well enough. Know it's not all true, but... Guess it just makes me want to earn her approval, which is silly." Breathing out, sighing, he adds, "Guess most of the Wingleaders've been around a while. So you would know them. I'm trying. But." Pause. "Don't need to only talk work, Millie."

"Exactly," Milani says with a laugh. "I'd be very happy not to see thousans of beads and strangely colored fleece this turn," the headwoman says with a friendly bump of her shoulder to his. About Tiriana, Milani sighs and nods. "Well Kas ... seriously, you have to build up a thicker skin. I know that she pushes buttons, but you can't /let/ her. It's not her approval you need to win, it's everyone else's. She'll find something to cut you down with even if you're doing perfectly well," Millie says looking up at him seriously. "I mean shells, she insults me and my work all the time and I'm still partially covering for her." She gives his arm another little squeeze and sighs softly. "I don't really have much of anything else to talk about. I've been staying with L'vae. We're going to a gather soon. Other than that, all I've been doing is working."

"Not that it wasn't all /terribly/ attractive," agrees K'del, grinning. Of Tiriana, he scowls. "I /know/." It comes out probably more harshly than he intends; his expression instantly turns apologetic, and he sighs. "I'm sorry. I know all of this. I'm just having trouble with it." That might well extend to the rest of what Milani has to say: the idea of there being nothing but work to talk about genuinely seems to bother him. "Suppose I don't have much either. Shells." He inhales deeply, and then exhales it into a sigh. "Gather'll be nice. And - good. That you're spending time with L'vae." And... you know, stuff.

"Mmhm," Milani says, unconvinced about the tithes and slips her arm free to actually give him a hug. "I'm sorry Kas, really I'm just trying to help," she says sincerely. "If it helps any, think about Tiriana in a funny hat, or something else funny when she goes off. It helps me not take it too seriously, or even to tune out when she gets going." For the rest she's just silent for a little while. "I think so. It'll be nice to get out of the Weyr for a little while. Lou's been very good to me. I needed ... a friend. The last little while."

K'del leans in to the hug, squeezes, his head dropping towards her shoulder, though it doesn't linger there long. "I know you are. It's just - hard." The suggestion draws a thoughtful nod, and he adds, "I'll give that a try." He's very still, during her silence, watching her with an unreadable expression before, finally, he can respond. "Right," he agrees. "So I'm glad. That you had him, I mean." It comes off a little lame, despite the smile he pushes onto his lips, and he seems to know it.

Her arms tighten a little around him and she sighs softly. "I'm sorry, Kas. Just ... with the way everything went ... it's been too hard to really talk to you too much. And I'd rather be able to be your friend and really there for you. Not let this other stuff get in the way. You know?" Milani's hand moves up and down his back gently then.

A long, sighing breath proceeds what K'del has to say next, though it's accompanied by a nod. "I get it. I really do, Millie, and I can't - I get it. Probably wouldn't want to talk to me, either." He lets out another breath, drawing back just enough so that he can meet her gaze properly. "Doesn't stop it being frustrating, or me missing the way things were." Beat. "And I don't mean-- just that it's all weird, and I wish it wasn't, and shells, this isn't helping anything is it?" There's a pause, and then he concludes, voice edging back towards the stiffer side of things, "Glad things're getting better. Going to be okay."

"It's not that I don't /want/ to," Milani corrects earnestly. "Just ... hard. Being with you that day ended something that was really really dear to me. I let things confuse me and -- now it's really, really over." Her hand lifts, touches his cheek gently. "I wish I could say that things could go back to being that way, Kas. But they can't. And I know you don't just mean sleeping with me." Brave little smileon her face.

K'del's turn to make a correction, though his is rueful rather than earnest. "Wasn't talking about sleeping with you at all, this time. Just Millie, my friend without the awkwardness." There's sympathy on his expression, and in the hand that lifts to cover hers on his cheek, fingers trailing over hers softly. "I can't imagine how hard. And - I... I feel bad for it. All of it. Just wish there was some magic something that made things okay again, got them to the-- the new normal, as it were. You know?"

"Oh dear, well yes, that too," Milani says with a little laugh. "It'll happen eventually, I'm sure. For what it's worth /this/ isn't nearly as awkward as trying to look /A'son/ in the eye," she confesses with a little sigh and then drops her hand down and her head towards his shoulder. "Nothing for it but time."

K'del's hand follows her head, and rests gently atop it, his arm partly slung about her shoulder; there's a rueful smile on his face, for her laugh, and what comes next. "Shells, can imagine that. Still haven't ever had a conversation with him, myself; funny, isn't it, that there's all of this between us, and yet... Don't even know the guy. But. For /you/." He breaks off, head shaking as he releases a sigh of his own. "Time. /Right/. Going to be okay. In time. Just gotta keep on going."

"I know. You've no opinion of your own. And well ... sadly I think he already has one of you and it's probably not pretty," Millie says quietly and gives Kas another little squeeze. "Mm. Keep on going." Deep breath and she falls silent, leans into him just a little. "I think we'll be just fine. Really."

"Right," says K'del, laughing ruefully. "So I was willing to /try/ and get my own opinion, rather than relying on gut instinct, but what's the point, now? Just another rider who has no time for me, so what's new." But the squeeze, at least, draws a more genuine smile; he draws his arms about her properly as she leans in, nodding. "Think so. Hope so - but think so, too. We're okay."

"Mm. Though he is still one of your riders, so worth at least getting some understanding about from that perspective," Milani points out. She puts both her arms around him in turn though and squeezes back. "Yes. We are. So if things are getting tough, just say the word, okay? We'll hang out and do fun things like always."

K'del makes a face and says, "So, what you're saying is that I should extend the olive branch and do my best to earn what respect I can? This job sucks." His tone, however, is not quite as serious as it could be; he's at least partly joking. "Mm, absolutely. And the same is true, likewise. Just - in general, you know? My door's always open, and you know, it's at ground level now, so even easier."

"Yeah," Milani says into his shoulder and smiles up at him. "Yeah it can. But see, you've got the right instincts," she adds, poking at his ribs just a little. "Hmm, you know, you have a point there. If I ever recover from this broken heart, that'd be /way/ too convenient for sneaking in under cover of darkness," she teases a bit. "Though I'm not sure about the whole 'used to be N'thei's' thing."

"And I'm too diligent to ignore my good instincts, sadly," mourns K'del, unable to keep a straight face. "Besides, not good enough with my fists to take after N'thei." The poke at his ribs earns a twitch, then a grin, and the grin draws itself into an outright laugh for the rest of what she has to say. "/Most/ convenient. Though I keep considering avoiding the sneaking all together, just to piss Tiriana off-- but, I know, I know, /trying/ to work with her." Mention of N'thei draws his expression into something more mock-pained: "Did you have to remind me? Freaks me out, that he sat in the same bathtub. Though maybe he didn't bother using it, and then it's okay."

"Well, we could /use/ a diligent Weyrleader. Honestly," Milani says with a bob of her head. "N'thei's ... good at some things. But I think that even if you're young, you might have a chance at mending a thing or two between the Weyr and the Holds," the headwoman says thoughtfully. She laughs a little about the sneaking and nods. "Mmm. Well sorry, don't think about it. I won't. Unless you need clean up detail in there." Another hug and she leans up to kiss his cheek gently. "I should get in. I've a few things to do before I turn in."

K'del's head tilts into a nod, his expression drawing into a rueful smile. "Hope so. Crom - extended an olive branch, I think. We'll see, but maybe. So-- hope so." But he definitely looks quite pleased with the idea. "Reckon I can manage," he assures her, drawing his arms away after one last squeeze after that kiss. "Of course. Have a-- good evening. And sleep well. And-- thanks." He watches her, and nods just once more. "/Did/ they. Well, you'll have to tell me about it and if there's anything I can do to help with that." Milani smiles up at him again and steps back, nodding. "You too, Kas. I'll see you soon."

"I will," promises K'del. "Once we have something concrete - a proposal, anyway. I'll want all the advice I can get, make sure we don't make a bad decision." He draws his expression into an honest smile as she takes her leave, adding only one more thing: "Take care of that heart of yours." The broken one. But he turns away, once that's said, to wander off in the other direction. That's all he needed to say.

"All right then," Milani agrees about Crom and starts to move away, pauses for those last words and looks over her shoulder at him. There's something tremulous in the shape of her mouth for a moment, but she only nods the once and walks away into the gathering dusk.