Difference between revisions of "Logs:Cuddle Therapy"

>---< Ready for Roommates Weyr, High Reaches Weyr(#2083R) >------------------<

  Inside, though, the humans are in for a surprise. A long rift in the stone
  makes for a narrow living room with rough walls, the furniture spartan and
  homemade from, seemingly, whatever materials could be snagged in a pinch  
  (barrels, planks, etc.). There are stools rather than chairs, a couch that
  has seen better days (but might be just the right amount of broken in) and
  a trio of mis-matched beanbag chairs (one of which must have a hole       
  somewhere) in front of the hearth. But the far side--that's the real      
  treasure here. Four separate rooms have been carved out of the stone, two 
  small ones a step up from the living room, one slightly larger one above  
  them, and a tiny little alcove above that. They're all lacking a front    
  wall, leaving them open to the room below. Of the two on the bottom, the  
  one directly under all the rest has a twin bed, a nightstand above it, a  
  small rug beside it, and a press at its foot. The one less under the rest 
  is full of a bed; it's just about the only thing that fits in the room.   
  The larger one above has dressers that don't match and a round table and  
  chairs that look perfect for poker (or work). The highest one has yet to  
  be populated by anything other than being storage space for as yet packed 
  items.                                                                    
                                                                            
  A set of stone stairs leads up to the upper room, while sturdy handholds  
  have been carved up from it to the alcove. All in all, it's a great find  
  for a rider with a family or maybe even just a group of good friends.

It could've been more dramatic. When Z'riah gets home, the lights could have all been dimmed to near blackness. She could've let him find her with the sound of weeping. But when Z'riah does get home, it seems Lya hasn't put forth that much effort. She's in a beanbag chair with her face curled onto her arm; it would be an understatement to say she'd had a rough day. "Can I stay here tonight?" She asks it without preamble.

"Hey," is the greenrider's slightly surprised greeting for the girl in the beanbag chair. It's a nice surprise, though, and it has Z'riah smiling at her instead of telling her to get out or anything silly like that. "Sure, kid. There's even an extra bed right now," he says with a gesture toward the one a hungover X'vae was in just a few days ago. He doesn't, notably, look at it himself. He's looking at her. "What's the occasion?"

"Rough day." She chooses the understatement rather than lay it all out. "I don't want to talk about it." Can they leave it there?

Z'riah hesitates but after a few moments, he nods as he's pausing near her claimed chair on his way toward his alcove.

There's awkward silence a moment. Then a rub of Lya's thigh accompanies her saying uncertainly, "Would it be weird if I asked you to hold me for a while even though you're not proddy?"

Z'riah's blue eyes go to her face, and he shakes his head. "Not weird, no. That's what friends do, isn't it? Besides, you don't get proddy, so you have room to be a little weird sometimes." He tries to smile encouragingly as he asks, "Let me change first?"

"I'm sure I take more than my fair share," Lya says, unconcerned by her surplus of weirdness. She nods for letting him change. Cuddling in not leathers is probably better than in leathers, and Lya's not in any hurry. She's already dressed comfortably, so she'll shift the snoozy cat who wakens with a complaint and hops to the floor instead of being willingly shifted still sleeping and the girl goes to build up the fire. She does it like the pro she is.

Z'riah isn't very modest, but he at least does his best to face away from Lya while he changes from his leathers into more comfortable weyr wear. "That's what makes you interesting, anyway. Are you going to change your mind if I admit that I could really use someone to hold right now?" It's said with a lightness that plays down how much he means it.

"No," Lya's answer is simple. She hasn't looked (or hasn't seemed to) toward the alcove. Once the fire is built up she rises and moves to grab her bag before moving toward Zif's bed. "Is she getting proddy or ...?" Has Z'riah got another reason for wanting cuddles?

"Probably not till later this month. Or early next. Assuming she goes back on schedule. Moving here must have thrown her off. She was way off last time." No doubt Lya finds this terribly fascinating. "Xev's gone. Not that we usually cuddle or anything. It's just hard. And I miss him." Even though he just saw him the other day.

Yes, Lya's blank look is just riddled with interest. "They have schedules?" Greens. She blinks at him, setting her satchel down and crouching to root through it. "It's got to be weird, not having a roommate after having a roommate." She wouldn't know since she's always had them. She makes a face and then looks plaintively to Z'riah. She could use that cuddle now.

"Just like women, I guess." He's not one, obviously, so he only knows what he's been told about them in relation to dragons. "Some aren't as predictable as others. She was pretty easy." And hopefully she goes back to it, judging by Z'riah's tone. "It was weird being roommates at first. We weren't in Monaco." He follows Lya into bed, though, settling heavily with his head on a pillow so she can cuddle however she sees fit. It's only after some moments of silence that he asks, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Ugh," Lya expresses the sound of frustration when he asks, like a good friend should, the girl immediately losing the train of conversation that was happening before it was asked. "It's nothing. I'm just-" She purses her lips unpleasantly. "H'vier is a pig." Then, "Turn on your side toward me?" She requests before lying on her back next to him, intending that he should sort of spoon her, but with her body perpendicular to his.

"Of course he is," is automatic. Z'riah likely means his next to be more encouraging. "Not all men are like that. Too many of them. But not all of them." He doesn't, note, include himself in the better men category.

"I shouldn't care. I don't want any men, like that or otherwise." Lycinea sighs heavily. "I mean, I suppose I ought to get things over with at some point so I'm not one of those weird thirty turn old virgins or something," but she sounds more exasperated than enthusiastic. "I mean, shells, you're the first guy I've found remotely attractive." She makes a frustrated noise through her nose and let's out a breath. Her cheeks might be just a little pink.

Z'riah moves as she tells him to without even thinking about it. "You should definitely not do it just to get over with. It's supposed to be fun. And feel good. And if you don't think it's fun, it probably won't feel good." And then, obviously, what's the point in doing it at all? Of course, the greenrider can't help grinning about her finding him attractive, but he won't tease her about it. Not right now. "You could do way better than me, Lya," is all he'll say about that. Except, "I mean, I'm fucking amazing in bed. But otherwise, you could do way, way better."

"You know he says that too," Lya reproofs the greenrider mildly with a roll of her eyes. "I'm really going to start researching who's as good as they claim. By asking the people they've slept with." She shifts so she's angled slightly more toward him. "And the thing is that I'm not interested in doing better, or doing at all. And for the record, I said remotely on purpose. Every time you open your mouth, it just ruins it." She sighs as if it is a great hardship to bear. She's probably preemptively teasing just a bit. It's better than if she were moping, isn't it?

"That's not the first time someone's told me I'm prettier when I keep my mouth shut," Z'riah assures her, sounding somewhat amused by her saying it. Or something close enough. "Anyway, most guys say that. Normally I'd offer to try them out for you beforehand, to make sure they're good, but I'll take a pass in his case." And he probably expects she'll do the same. But now he stops talking, trying to pull her against him like she's a life-sized version of that doll of hers.

Lya is pliable and easily pulled to him, her own arms curling her doll to her chest, even as she lets her head press to his chest. She's quiet some moments before saying in a small sort of voice, "Sometimes I wonder if I should just let him take what he wants. If we could be regular friends if I did. No one else seems to think sex is that big a deal. Farideh doesn't. Tela doesn't. You don't." Nevermind that they're all consenting adults and Lya would be a reluctant participant at best. With a sigh, she's closing her eyes and pressing her face against the greenrider again. "Why can't he just be not-stupid like you and be content with being just friends?"

His arms tighten around her for a moment, perhaps trying to be comforting in the only way he think of doing so. "I don't think you'll ever be able to be regular friends with a man like that, Lya. It's hard to be friends with someone you want." He has an echo of a sigh and his voice is quiet as he adds, "It's hardest to be friends with someone you love. It makes you do stupid, stupid things." Voice of experience. "Maybe he loves you." Which might be a vaguely nicer thought than H'vier being horrible for the sake of being horrible.

The blonde sighs again. It's a little wistful. It's all hard. Wouldn't it be nice if it weren't? "More likely he loves her. His ex-weyrmate. His kids' mom. He says I look like her." And she does, a little, if not much more than in blondeness and curvature.

"I guess I can see that," says Z'riah, thoughtful as he lifts his head just slightly to look down at her before settling again. "I don't know if he can pretend you're her, though. You're very different people." At least in the greenrider's opinion, since he obviously knows both of them so very well.

"You think?" It's not really a question. "I've never met her." She probably doesn't want to. Probably. "Ugh. If anyone could pretend it, it'd be him." Because he's clearly warped in that particular way. "I just want to take it all back. Why don't we get do overs in life?" Lya whines. She's had a bad night. She's entitled to a little whining.

"She's nice," is Z'riah's take on H'vier's blonde ex. "He and I don't deserve either of you, honestly." But she'll have to put up with the greenrider right now because he's not in any hurry to let go of her. "Do overs would be great. I can think of a lot of things I'd want to do over. A lot of things I wouldn't, too, I guess."

That has Lya blowing out a slow breath before unwillingly admitting, "That's fair. I'm pretty sure I'd make a lot of the same dumb choices anyway. It's not like I wasn't warned about him at least a dozen times." She shakes her head. "Can you talk to me about something? Anything. To distract me from all this stupid?"

"I can probably think of something else to talk about, sure. Though my life is full of its own bad decisions, so you might need to help. Tell me, though, why did you want to be friends with him to begin with?" Z'riah could maybe understand an attraction. But she already said that wasn't it.

"You could tell me about your bad decisions so I feel better about mine," Lya, the obviously very good friend, suggests with a sigh that doesn't expect him to. "I don't know. He's weird, and a liar. I'm those things too," clearly two admirable traits, "It seemed like we could both use a friend. The first time was really nice... Fun, you know?"

"I'm sure he could use a friend. Just not sure he wants them." Z'riah knows the type. It's the type he loves to torment until they punch him. Or fuck him. Or both. But he'll just not tell that to Lya right now. "I've fallen in love with people I shouldn't. I've justified taking advantage of them by convincing myself it helps them." Precisely what a girl wants to hear while in a man's bed. "I guess that makes me a liar, too." At least they're in good company?

"Who did you fall in love with?" is the logical first question. It's followed by the second, "And why shouldn't you love them?" Lya's fingertips curl over his arm and begin to draw little designs on his flesh without really seeming to be aware of it, her blue-green gaze cast thoughtfully to the ceiling. "It isn't Farideh, is it?" This comes with some genuine measure of concern.

Z'riah's hesitation to answer is drawn out by her fingertips playing over his skin. But the last thoughtful question makes him laugh outright. "No. Shards, no. Definitely not Farideh." He still hesitates to actually answer, but he must trust Lya enough to say, "X'vae. My friend. Roommate. He was here the other day." In case she forgot about that and needs some point of reference. "I've loved him for turns." Pause. "He loves me, too, I guess. As a friend. He doesn't like men like that." Which might also serve as some sort of answer for her other question.

Lya's reaction is delayed, probably because the name is so wholly unexpected for all his previous hinting. The girl suddenly pressed herself up to sit, to look down at him wide eyed after he's finished speaking. But then, just when she should be saying something, she's silent, just still staring. Then a breath later she's settling back again. "You're ridiculous," is the eventual, resolute pronouncement.

The staring is perhaps not unexpected, but the way in which she does it, propped up and looking down at him, is. This might be the only time ever that Lya will witness Z'riah looking self conscious about anything. "What do you mean ridiculous?" he urges more than demands.

"Falling in love with your best friend and then beating yourself up for taking advantage of him. How did you?" Lya asks as her hands move pointedly to resume the motions that were not intentional before. "If he's going to be your best friend and keep you on his string, he probably deserves it, even if he is nice, like you said he was." She sniffs. Clearly she's on Z'riah's side in all this. That's what friends are for, right?

Z'riah has the grace to look guilty when she asks how it was done, blue eyes shifting away. He doesn't answer the question, though, instead speaking up to defend the bluerider, "He doesn't deserve that, Lya. He's a good person. He doesn't deserve any of my shit. I don't deserve him." He sounds more resigned than anything, though. He's known this for awhile. And yet he still, selfishly, yearns.

Well, fortunately for Z'riah, he's just hit upon a topic that's more important than Lya ragging on X'vae who she barely knows. "What?" Already she's wrinkling her nose in distaste. "Why don't you deserve him? Him or anyone else you please?" It's already obvious that she's probably going to smack him for speaking ill of himself, if he does.

"Because I'm not a good person. I've never been a good person. I don't know how to be a good person." And maybe Z'riah doesn't want to be a good person. He also probably doesn't care if Lya smacks him. In fact, he might even like it if she does. "I don't expect you to understand."

She does smack him, in a way that makes the flesh under where her fingers travel sting and redden from the open-palmed blow before she resumes the more pleasant tracing. "Don't say that," Lya clearly doesn't like it. "Why don't you think you're a good person? And if you have no reason, I'm going to hit you again." Fair warning from the evidently feisty blonde.

There's a slight tension that smack sends through Z'riah though he offers the more typical, protesting, "Ow! Stop that." He should probably come up with a good lie that will satisfy the girl and make her stop, he really should. But nothing seems to be coming to mind so he only says, albeit firmly, "I'm just not. Why do you care if I am or not?"

He gets the second smack, like the first, then Lya sighs. "Because we're friends," duh. As if this explains everything. "And you act like a good person toward me or we wouldn't be and so I don't see where you can get off saying your not because you take advantage of people you love and are sometimes an asshole." Arguably, one of these things might qualify him as not a great person, but a good person? Sure.

He doesn't protest the smack this time, but there's that same tension before he's letting out a careful breath. "Good people don't take advantage of the people they love, Lya," Z'riah tells her as though she should already know that. "Like that bronzerider trying to take advantage of you." Remember? "He's not a good person."

"He doesn't love me," Lya points out, quite confident in that. "And good people do lots of dumb things. Just because you do a dumb thing doesn't mean you're not a good person. Otherwise, I've maybe met three good people in the whole of my life, and that's just depressing." She frowns pointedly at Z'riah.

"You probably have only met three of them in the whole of your life," says Z'riah with a small amount of frustration. "Good people don't fuck their best friend's girlfriends." Z'riah sighs heavily before adding, "I don't want you to not be my friend, Lya. But I don't want you to think I'm someone I'm not."

"You fucked his girlfriend?" Lya wrinkles her nose at Z'riah. "Didn't you say she's a bitch?" Then she sighs, tilting her head so it touches his chest. "You're a weirdo, alright, Zif," she can agree this much, "but I still don't think you're a bad person. Bad people do a lot worse. At worst, I'll let you be a person of questionable character, but not bad." Will that suit him?

"She is a bitch." But Z'riah seems not entirely certain on why that's relevant. Fortunately Lya continues talking and the greenrider relaxes slightly with her continued, willing proximity. "I guess I can live with that." There's a beat before he adds, "Don't tell X'vae about his girlfriend. Or... anything else." This is a confidential conversation, evidently.

"We already talked about that," Lya reminds him. "Ours is a strictly no telling friendship." That much makes her smile up at him before she closes her eyes. Maybe she shouldn't feel so comfortable just here, just like this. Maybe she shouldn't, but she does. It won't be long in the silence before her breath will settle to something even and she'll be asleep, if he doesn't speak further.

"Right," he murmurs. Z'riah might just be a little paranoid about X'vae finding out Certain Things about him. It's a while before the greenrider thinks to say anything else, though, and by then her breathing gives him enough pause to realize she's dozed off. So he simply lays there in silence until he follows suit.