Difference between revisions of "Logs:Rough and smooth, smooth and rough"

Breezy Stargazer's Weyr, High Reaches Weyr

The inner weyr itself is oddly-shaped, curving around the outside wall of the dragon's couch. This does offer some protection at either end from the constant draft that, especially during bad weather conditions, can whip through with enough force to scatter any unsecured paperwork. At one end, a bed is made on a raised stone platform, with nothing but the basics provided for storing clothes though there is a small, glass-paned window cut into the wall to provide a little natural light; at the other, there's a small fireplace and a single old sofa, draped with a throw. In the middle, carved from the curved wall, there are a few shelves and alcoves for books, knick-knacks and the like, with a beaten up desk positioned in front of them featuring plenty of pebble paperweights.

Rukbat has set, dinnertime has long past, and the moons' light casts the world in patchy shadows, illuminating the clouds above with an ethereal brightness. It's very pretty, and very much something that Cailluneth is enjoying where she lies on her ledge. Inside the weyr, N'ky is engaged in a little extra-curricular activities of his own... and not the paperwork kind that he so frequently seems bogged down in, if the decidedly non-girly giggling and sounds of awkward fumbling are anything to go by.

At lunch, K'zin spoke briefly to N'ky, cordially as ever. He asked to come by to "see the place" after all his duties for the day. He warned it would be fairly late, but was assured that he'd be welcome. So it is that K'zin appears, lifted by an agile green on elevator duty and left on the ledge. Perhaps Rasavyth doubted his ability to fit on the ledge, or maybe he's otherwise engaged, but there it is. K'zin dropped and the dragon winging back away. "Hey Cailluneth," He greets the green, moving toward her, as yet unaware of the noises coming from the inner weyr. "Can we talk a second?" He doesn't really want her to speak to him; he found that uncomfortable at best, a little painful at worst. "I just-- I wanted to say sorry. For everything that I've put you through. And thanks. I know I don't need to thank you because you would be there for him anyway, always, but thank you. It sucked to know he felt-- that way, but it helped to know that he had you, always." That said, he offers up a hand, in case she's of a mind to have a headknob scritch before he goes looking for N'ky. "He know I'm here?" Then suddenly, awareness hits. The noises, and what those noises likely are. "Oh, shit." He glances toward the bowl, "I'll come back later. Tell him." And he's reaching for Ras to reach for the elevator; but the elevator's busy on another call. So there he stands. Awkward.

Cailluneth is not inclined to speak unless asked to on behalf of N'ky, so there's no worry for K'zin there. She lowers her head to puff soft breath at the bronzerider, growling deeply at him - a pleased growl, that rumbles through her chest and onto the stone beneath them. She's very happy to tilt her head just so for a scritching, that growly purr deepening in pleasure, her tail thumping once off the sheer face of the Weyr's side behind her. Inside, the sound suddenly stops; there's a muffled exclamation as someone's dragon tells someone within that they're not alone, followed by scrabbling about and more laughter - the nervous kind of someone caught doing something they maybe shouldn't be doing. J'madri - tall, dark-haired, broad-shouldered... not too dissimilar looking to a certain once-Smith weyrling, if anyone's inclined to look at him that way - comes around the corner into the couch first, followed by a shirtless, shorts-wearing N'ky, whose curls are in complete mussed disarray atop his head. His cheeks burn in embarrassment when he sees K'zin, but he can't quite bite down hard enough on his lip to stop his huge smile while, on the ledge, Cailluneth's joined by another green who takes her rider off and away. "I-I got distracted," N'ky says apologetically, suddenly realising how sharding cold it is in the breezy couch when only half-dressed.

Awkward though he started, when the Cirrus greenrider appears from within the weyr, K'zin's shifting to a casual appearance. He lifts his chin toward the passing rider with an 'attaboy' smile, and a murmured apology. Then the other rider is away and N'ky's there, "Sorry, bro." K'zin's cheeks do touch with a blush now. "If I'd known, I'd've come another time. It could've waited." It's not like their friendship is going anywhere. It's survived this much. A glance over his shoulder in the direction the other left is taken briefly before he looks back to his friend. A congratulatory buffet goes to N'ky's shoulder. "So not just April then." He says with a grin. "Less-- stressed? About when Cai rises and stuff? Sounded like you were having fun." It's not prying, just casual catch up on what he's evidently missed in the many sevens that have held such rocky roads for them.

"I--um... n-no, not just April," N'ky says coyly, peering up through his curls. "But that's the first time he's - I mean we've not... we've not done anything --- well, n-not that, anyway." He crosses his arms over his chest, shivering a little. "Um... come in?" The weryling turns, slipping back through the wide space into the weyr proper. And then they're inside... and it's small. Far smaller than K'zin's own home. "Look! Your windchimes!" He points up to where they're merrily chinking off one another in the constant draught, just inside of the entrance from couch to weyr. N'ky stands awkwardly by the old wooden desk, strewn as it is with paperwork, hands clasped down in front of him. "B-bedroom or living room first?" Whatever lies around the horseshoe curve of the weyr isn't visible from where they stand.

There's a little nod for N'ky's words about the now-departed greenrider. "Good to be experimenting, I expect anyway. Or whatever you would call it." If not experimenting. His emotions are impossible to read. To all appearances, he's unbothered, just offering friendly support. It could easily be the truth. K'zin's eyes observe the windchime with an approving smile for their placement. "They fit there. Did you want to make more of them or you just like the one?" He follows the greenrider into the weyr proper his eyes skirting over the place, taking in the shape of the cavern, and all else that can be seen. "Whichever. I want to see the place," But. "I'm really here to talk." It's admitted with a shrug.

There's not much to be seen where they stand, just an arching corridor that suggests that the desk, and the entrance they stand next to, is at the peak of the curve that the weyr is. "Talk?" N'ky repeats the word, giving his friend a dimple-inducing smile. "Then we'll go this way first." He leads the way around the curve to the left of the couch, which ends in a small sleeping chamber; there's barely any light in the tiny window, and on the floor are N'ky's leathers, jacket, and shirt, seemingly hastily discarded. He kicks one of his boots out of the way, and it skitters across to hit the stone platform that makes the base of his messily-made (or recently rumpled) bed. "Um... it's not really fort material," he murmurs - a little defensively - as he bends to pick up his tunic, slipping it on over his head.

K'zin pads easily along behind N'ky, brown eyes taking in more of the weyr as they move further into the weyr. "Huh." As he takes in the two directional bent of the area. "Kinda more like a cothold than as weyr, weyr. You know sort of with real different sections." His is like that too, though, so perhaps his childish notion that a weyr is a spot for a dragon and a single room for the rider is just flawed. He appears to give the bed a thorough consideration; after all, fort-worthiness is a serious matter. Then he grins, "Seems just fine to me. Tho', Nick, we don't always have to be in a fort to just talk. Forts are for the really important stuff." Which, it seems, whatever K'zin wants to talk about isn't. The discarded clothes are no doubt noticed, and though his gaze flicks to N'ky's chest at the movement of tunic onto torso, it's not an intimate look. It's the look of a bro. The kind of look Waki would give before things got so complicated. Perhaps the bronzerider is indulging in a heady dose of denial. Then, all of a sudden, it seems to be the dragon in the living cavern; a topic he can't ignore and he blurts: "Some guy offered to take me home with him. I didn't know what to do. Or say." And his cheeks are colored now where none of the things that happened here so far had seemed to bother him. His hands tuck firmly into his pockets, shoulders hunching self-consciously.

N'ky didn't see the look, but that blurted admission has him looking wide-eyed at K'zin, in a seemingly half-state of wtf-ness. He runs his fingers through his ruffled curls, doing them no favours as the action only makes them even more disarrayed, and he bites thoughtfully on his lip. "Um." Not even a trail of potential thought to follow; it's a tiny little filler, since N'ky seems to have been made temporarily speechless by the shared information. Eventually, he finds his tongue: "D-did you go with him?" He's not only uncomfortable, but... maybe a little bit jealous, too? Maybe. If he is, it's hidden beneath the awkward blushing. "I-it... it would be ok if you did?" ... only his tone doesn't quite match the same level of reassurance as the words.

"No. I didn't know what to say." The hunch becomes a little more pronounced. "I didn't even realize he was hitting on me until he was right up next to me and--" The blush says it all: and then it became exceptionally obvious. K'zin glances up shame-faced towards the greenrider. "I can't believe I didn't see sooner. I mean, in hindsight it was obvious. Ras thought it was too funny to clue me in. Said I needed to learn to navigate those kinds of situations." He shakes his head, expression a touch frustrated. "I didn't tell him no, though. I wasn't sure what to say." He shakes his head, still obviously confused about the whole thing. "I didn't really mean to bring that up. It just sort of-- after you mentioned about--" He gestures a little helplessly back toward the ledge and the greenrider who left. Clearly, he could use an understanding friend now.

That's kind of a familiar setting that K'zin's painting for N'ky; the greenrider listens patiently, waiting until his friend's finished before he steps towards him, running his hand awkwardly through his curls, and rubbing at the back of his neck. "Um... I don't know what you should have said... or what you should do, Waki." He's not very helpful; his own experiences are pretty limited. "J'madri... w-we just kind of... got along? When I was shadowing him and Aisha? And... um... h-he just... I don't know. It just... clicked. K-kinda like with Mave." Again he rubs nervously at the back of his neck, biting his lip and looking at a spot somewhere near his friend's feet. "A-and then tonight, he'd just had a fight with Telavi, and he was upset, so he came here and..." And K'zin arrived. N'ky shrugs, blushed beet-dark from his cheeks to his ears. "We kissed before, but... um... m-maybe tonight we might've... I dunno." He shakes his head dismissively, biting hard on his lip. "I th-thought I'd do that w-with you first, but you're not so sure, and... and that's ok, Waki. It's your choice. I'm ok with wh-whatever you choose." His hand drops now to join the other in awkwardly tweaking the hem of his tunic, since he has no pockets.

K'zin can't help that his face turns redder. His hands dig further into his pockets and his fingers can be guessed to be picking at the lining of them as a nervous habit. "I don't know what I should've said or done either. I think, I thought, it would be easier to do with you because we know each other so well, but we've just kept messing things up together, you know? And I don't want to fuck it up completely. And there's something else. Something that might fuck things up again, so I haven't wanted to tell you, because I haven't wanted to fuck things up again or hurt you. I only just got you back, and all." He swallows. "First let me say that I'm glad you clicked with J'madri. It sounds like a good thing for you. I'm-- I might just be an awful hurtful person that you'd be better off without in your life," He's turned by now to face N'ky. "And I'd understand if you hated me forever, but so much stuff has changed. The last time we talked about Mave was the last time that-- we-- " His blush increases, so there can be only one instance he's talking about, "You said you didn't feel guilty about kissing other people and I thought maybe you meant you weren't interested in only waiting for Mave to be ready for things. And then she said she didn't want to just kiss you. That she wanted to kiss people. You and people. And she kissed me. I kissed her. We kissed. Then her mom died, and things are all messed up for her, and-- shells, I'm sorry, Nick. I fucked up, man." Again. But it's out there now. "And how could I even talk to you about being with you when I knew I'd done that and maybe it would hurt you and--" He shuts up.

That little bombshell makes N'ky pause; his fingers clutch more tightly at the hem of his tunic, expression twitchy as he mulls it over, but mostly neutral. He bites down on his lip, looks down at his bare feet, then frowns back up at K'zin. He steps once more towards him, closing the distance between them, fingers now freed and flexing by his side; stretched, then clenched into a fist, then stretched once more. There's a degree of tension to his coltish frame, with his lips pulled into a thoughtful, tight line, and brown eyes dark beneath his lowered 'brows. "Waki." He says it softly, a rough little whisper, unable to meet the bronzerider's gaze. "You talk too much." And he shoves his friend backwards against the weyr's wall with enough force to intentionally hurt, before pinning him there with his own body, hands cupping K'zin's face to tilt it up as he leans down, lips almost close enough to kiss - almost. N'ky's breathing comes short and fast, his position held tenuously, as if he's not sure what to do next, or what drove him to where they are. "I-I'm... I'm not sure whether to kiss you or hit you," he whispers.

K'zin is in a vulnerable position. With his hands dug deep in his pockets, he's not in a spot to successfully deal with the driving force backward. He doesn't see it coming enough to sidestep it, and he can't get his hands out of his pockets fast enough to do something about it. In fact, though one hand has wrenched free and found it's way to N'ky's hip, while the greenrider's palms are pushing against his chest. The other remains trapped in his pocket. The hit is enough to knock half the air from him, though not incapacitate him. There's a flinch of pain, but surprise is the dominant emotion. Clearly, K'zin keeps underestimating his physical safety with his friend when there's a shitstorm looming. Hit him or kiss him. Well, shells. If those are his choices. K'zin doesn't even need a whole breath to make a decision, and suddenly his lips close the distance, pressing roughly against N'ky's.

He might have been considering it, but that doesn't mean N'ky's prepared for it when K'zin picks from the two mused options he provided. A moment of surprise follows the press of lips on lips, until suddenly he's pressing closer, leaning in against the bronzerider with a definite keenness. His hands drop to rest upon his friend's shoulders, fingers half-curled lightly against his neck as he attempts to push the kiss even further with a tentative flick of his tongue against K'zin's lip.

This time, K'zin doesn't need to wait to know what it's like to feel a woman's tongue. His experience shows, in the way that he parts his lips obligingly, inviting N'ky's tongue with a brush of his own before retreating. His free hand slides up N'ky's side, slipping across his chest, inside N'ky's grip of the former smith to wrap around the back of the greenrider's neck, fingertips touching to his curls. The other hand is still seeking freedom from his pocket.

That N'ky's picked up some kissing techniques from their first awkward cotfort attempt is clear; he's picked up a little more confidence along the way, too, as he's much more certain in the way he approaches this new exploration of his best friend's... abilities. When Waki's fingers make it to his curls he moans with blissful encouragement, easing up the weight pressing on his friend's body to allow him to free his other hand. One of his own courses down to brush over the bronzerider's chest, trailing down his side to clutch tightly at his waist to draw them closer, before his long fingers are hooked into his waistband to tug eagerly; not down, but towards - which makes it pretty plain how keen N'ky is.

Where a moan would usually be an encouraging noise, as it is no doubt meant here, it makes K'zin shy a little, his mouth no less available for exploration but his own tongue suddenly a touch more tentative. It could also have to do with the latching fingers in his waist. It's only a few moments more, once K'zin has freed his other hand that he's gently seeking to part them, his head tilting impossibly low for the kiss to continue, resting his temple, instead, against the taller man's cheek. "Nick, I'm-- still not ready." He breathes out, though his breath comes raggedly. Obviously, this does something for him. "I'm sorry." As he speaks these words, his arms are seeking to slip under the greenrider's own to curl around his back, the muscled former smith trying to press closely against his friend in a needy embrace. K'zin needs it; this closeness. The reassurance that things are ok, even if he isn't ready. "I don't expect you to wait." This is mumbled softly, tongue tripping over the words clumsily. "And I don't want to mess up anything else you have going."

N'ky huffs out a soft breath when K'zin parts them - the tiniest hint of a sigh before he's drawing air back into his lungs. "I'm not asking you for anything, Waki," he murmurs, leaning into his hold, raising his arms to loop them over the bronzerider's upper arms, curling around to hold him tight. Perhaps he understands his friend's need - or perhaps it's just instinctive, because he doesn't ease up or move, save to raise his head and nuzzle gently against the younger man's dark locks. "You can have whatever you want... just, um, no ess-ee-ecks. I-I'm not ready for that." There seems as if there was originally more to what N'ky was about to say in that sentence, but he cuts it short with a little kiss to K'zin's hair. "You did break your promise though, Waki."

K'zin stays silent. He knows speaking will break the ok-ness of this moment. It's obvious when he speaks, after he slowly releases his hold around the greenrider, though he doesn't really have room to step back, pushed up against the wall as he is. "I never actually promised not to kiss Mave, Nick. I told you I wouldn't fight with you over a girl, and I won't. I said that if you're who makes Mave happy, I wouldn't challenge it. But she wants to kiss both. She's special and you and I both know it. You're my best-friend, but she's a really good friend, too. She's been there for me through-- a lot of confusing stuff. Especially while we've been fighting so much. I don't want to fight over her or fight with you at all, anymore. I just want us to be friends again, and to let Mave have what she wants, which is to kiss whoever she wants. I'm not going to choose between you two. I can't." His voice becomes choked and there is a glitter of emotion in his eyes. For one who has so much trouble voicing his feelings, they do make themselves known in salty rebellion too often for Rasavyth's tastes. Once, Waki would've let them flow. Now, K'zin's eyes are directed ceilingward and he's taking some slow, deep breaths, trying to control it.

"I would never kiss Sabs, or Telavi, or Azaylia, or anyone else if I knew you liked them." N'ky loosens his hold too, but doesn't let go; his long arms remain draped over the bronzerider's shoulders while he leans back to look at him. "I don't think I can share with you, Waki. If you want to kiss Mave, kiss her - but I can't kiss her too." He shakes his head, looking down and sighing. "There are some Weyr things that I'm getting more used to," clearly, if he's shacking up with April and has a possible little something brewing with J'madri, too, "but... sharing? N-no. Not yet. I c-can't. You liked her first, so... um..." N'ky shrugs his shoulders in what's almost a sign of defeat. "Why are you crying? I'm the one who just backed off so you can get the girl - shouldn't I be the one upset?" It's a poor attempt at humour, and N'ky leans down, pressing his forehead to K'zin's. "Why, Waki?"

"You should, though. If you want to." K'zin's answer comes swiftly. Brown eyes seek to meet brown. "Seriously, Nick. I don't like people that way. I don't think I can. It's not how it goes for me. Kiss anyone you want, though maybe not Sabs but only because E'sren said she's his girl and I get the feeling he's not the sharing kind. But even so, anyone you want." He leans in to rest his forehead against his friend's just as N'ky bends his head to do the same. "Sharing could be kind of fun, you know. We can compare notes." The tears stop threatening, the attempt at humor earning a half-smile from the man. "It's just-- that it's been really rough without my best friend. And I feel like I can't hurt the person that's been there for me, and I don't want to hurt you, and it feels like there aren't any good answers for any of this. I don't feel like I can say 'no' to anything Mave wants or needs right now, anyway. Not since her mom died." Though the tears are not flowing and have ceased their sentry route along the ledge of his lashes, there's a clear pained look for poor, pitiable Mave. Poor pitiable Mave who probably doesn't want pity.

N'ky tightens his hold again, pulling K'zin away from the wall and close into him. "I missed you too," he replies softly. "I don't want to share her, Waki. Not with you. I can't... I c-can't be compared to you... I can't be with someone thinking if I'm doing things better or worse than you. I can't. I-if you can't say no to Mave, then... th-then I will, because I can't, Waki." He loosens his embrace, leaning away before stepping back from his friend. The greenrider shakes his head, biting down anxiously on his lip, then withdraws his hug altogether, swapping it for a handhold. Curling fingers around K'zin's, he tugs gently on his hand, leading him over to sit on the edge of the rumpled bed, if he will. N'ky's not wearing his boots, and he curls his legs up onto the blankets so he's cross-legged, leaning elbows on his knees. "I think I loved her, Waki. She's the first girl I really liked. I-if things had been different, I... I w-would've... m-maybe I might've, um, asked her to... I always liked the idea of g-getting handfasted, and-- she would've said no, but, um... I think I loved her. You say you don't feel for people like that but I do, and... yeah. I can't share that, Waki - but I can let you make her happy. I'm not so happy about it," he's quick to add, holding up a finger, "but I can do that."

The bronzerider follows to the bed, led by N'ky's hand. He leans his back to it, though, being booted and all that, setting just barely on its edge. "If I didn't kiss her, what would you do when she wanted to kiss other people? Because she does. She told me she wanted to kiss people. So what would you do?" His arms have folded gently across his chest. He's not angry, defensive, or even all that emotional anymore. He's just asking questions, quiet questions, hard questions.

Not as hard a question for N'ky as it might seem, as he shrugs his shoulders in reply to it. "She can kiss who she wants, Waki. I've got no right to say she can't, and I'm not trying to say I do - I just can't share her with you. I'm not comfortable with that, n-not now." He shakes his head slowly, lips curved with a touch of what could be regret. That he's not comfortable talking about an awkward subject shows up in his stutter. "I-it would feel like... like a competition. I c-can't win against you, so I'm, um, d-dropping out of the race." The greenrider picks idly at the quilt covering his bed, fiddling with a loose thread. "I d-don't want to have to be c-compared to you, Waki. Wh-what if she ended up p-picking one of us, and not the other? One of us w-would get hurt, or be jealous - I would hurt if she chose you, and I'd h-hurt for you if she chose me. I c-can't do that. I don't want to. It's not fair."

"If it wasn't me you were sharing with, could you?" K'zin is frowning. It's not an upset frown but rather a 'trying to understand something hard'. In this, N'ky and K'zin are very different people, but K'zin is earnestly trying to wrap his head around the other's world view. He reaches out a hand to pluck up one of N'ky's. He shifts against the edge of the mattress so he can place his other hand on top. "Nick, life isn't a win-lose. It isn't something where I win and you lose or you win and I lose. The best times in life are when we both win. We're not in competition, we're teammates, sharditall." He was quite calm, though fervent, until the last word, which is expressed in a tone mild exasperation. "I want you to win at life, I want to win at it too. There's no reason in the world why that can't happen if we both work toward it. I don't want Mave to choose. I'll never want her to choose. I don't want to be chosen. I don't want anything that requires choosing." Which might explain some of his non-monogamous tendencies. "I don't want to win. I don't even want to be in the game." He sighs, his top hand starting to trace the back of the former ferrier's, watching his own fingers and the hand they touch thoughtfully, though perhaps lost in thought.

"I could." N'ky nods. "But, Waki... this isn't just about Mave. This for anyone who... who we might both like. Who might like both of us. Maybe I'll feel different later, but now? I'm alright with April and me not being anything special, but she's... I like her, but... I'm struggling to explain it." So he goes quiet, biting his lip. K'zin take his hand and explaining his view of life makes N'ky frown - also not angrily, just thoughtful. "You can't win unless someone loses, Waki - that's balance. It's like you can't have light without shadow. And you can't control what someone else does or thinks or likes, you can only control how much it will effect you. I'm trying to control that with what I'm telling you now." He rests his other hand atop the bronzerider's, squeezing tightly. "Everyone's in whether they want it or not. Play defensively to protect yourself, or play offensively and risk getting hurt." Fingers on one hand link with his friend's, while the other reaches up to cup his jaw, stroking over his cheek as he leans in as close as his sitting position will allow. Then he lifts their joined hands towards him, pressing K'zin's over his heart, holding it there. "My heart is Cailluneth's, but there's still room in there for everyone I care about. And it hurts, Waki. I'm trying to protect myself... can't you just let me be a little bit selfish in this?"

K'zin is visibly upset by N'ky's words. Not the first, about Mave and April, but N'ky's opinion that one must play, must lose or win. "I'm not playing," K'zin half-growls. The growl comes from his wealth of emotion. "Life isn't about winning or losing. It's not a game. It's real people with real feelings, with real stuff going on. If it was always win or lose, there would be a whole lot more winners and losers." Maybe there are and he just hasn't noticed. "Everyone can win, if everyone wants to win. Everyone can enjoy one another's successes if they're not busy thinking how they're less or have lost somehow. Don't compete with me, Nick. Enjoy me. We can help each other win. Neither of us ever has to lose." It's a plea, heavily laden with emotion as N'ky's hand is gripped tighter, as K'zin pushes off the edge of the bed to stand and face his friend, gazing down at him, brows jumped, forehead wrinkled, his expression vulnerable and pained. He's not trying to keep N'ky from protecting himself, but to him, this way of thinking, of constantly being compared to another just doesn't make sense.

N'ky winces at K'zin's reaction, brown eyes following him when he stands up, fingers curled tight back around his to return the grip on his hand. "Ok." It's not an acceptance as such, but an admission that either he believes this argument will go nowhere, or that it's just not worth fighting over. Or maybe both, even. He draws his friend's hand up to his shoulder, leaning in to curl arms gently around his waist so he can pull him close for a hug. The greenrider's cheek presses up to his chest, and N'ky sighs, softly. Squeezing K'zin close, he repeats himself softly; "Ok. I don't want to argue. Let's just not argue for... for at least a seven?" Leaning back a little, he looks up at his friend with a crooked, gentle smile. "Kick off your boots, Waki. Come sit back down, and we'll talk 'til we sleep like we used to. Stay here tonight, call Rasavyth up - why didn't he come up with you? Cailluneth'll move over to make room for him on the ledge."

K'zin comes for the hug, wrapping his arms lightly around N'ky's shoulders as the man sits and he stands, but his expression is dissatisfied. He doesn't pursue the topic, however. Instead, he answers the request that he stay. "If I stay here tonight, we'll wake up late and then what kind of example will you be setting for your wing, Wingleader." He pulls back out of the hug to knock his fist against N'ky's shoulder. "Congrats, by the way. I don't think I ever properly said. How's your first seven gone? Alida working out for you as 'second? I thought maybe I'd get to 'second you. But I guess it's like you said when you went into Cirrus, we'll probably end up in different Wings, since you want to be a dragonhealer and all, so it's good practice. Me not getting to be your right-hand man, I mean." So stay all night, he seems to be rejecting, but talk? Sure. Talk is good. And no arguing. Hopefully.

N'ky gives K'zin a look. "Waki. If you stay here tonight, you'll be up earlier than you've ever been in your life. Since when do I sleep in longer than dawn?" He frowns, then returns the punch to his shoulder with a light jab to the bronzerider's hip. "Alida and I get along well... um... actually, I think it's better that I'm with her, and not you. I'd let you lead. With 'Lida?" He shrugs; it's different, but he can't explain it. Or doesn't want to, perhaps. "Do you have any idea what you want to do, yet, after we've graduated? Are you going to keep crafting?" N'ky stretches his arms out behind him, then stands up in a lanky comparison to K'zin. "I didn't show you the rest of the weyr yet. C'mon." He starts to lead the way back around the curve, shoving feet into his furry slippers as he goes so he's not padding about barefoot - it's a draughty weyr and it's not exactly warm, so the bare stone floor must be freezing underfoot. They pass the entrance to the couch, then the desk with its papers and paperweights, going further around the horseshoe curve to where there's a battered little two-seater sofa draped in a throw, and a hearth that's stone cold, even if all the fire-building bits are beside it. It's very, very plain - there isn't even a rug on the floor. "So, um..." N'ky rubs at the back of his neck, then sweeps a hand through his curls. "This is it, I guess."

"Yeah? You shouldn't. I mean, obviously you're not, since I'm not your wingsecond, but, Nick, I'd follow your lead. You're a good leader," K'zin has always known that. "But I'm glad it's working out with 'lida." Then the question of career goals, "Mm, wingrider somewhere. I'll craft. I do anyway. Like with your chimes. I'm pretty much spending my rest days in the forge beating my hammer to stay sane." He grins. "What about you? Will I see you down there some days? Or are you gonna focus on more rider-ly stuff?" He follows along behind the greenrider, taking in the shape and features of the weyr. "It's great, Nick. Good pick. Suits you, and Cailluneth, I think. She seemed happy on the ledge." He moves over to the couch, flopping down onto it, slouching lazily. "You and 'lida seem pretty organized about leading." It's a comment that invites further conversation about Flurry.

"I read up on how to lead, that's all. And I have 'Lida to work with. She makes it easy." N'ky shrugs, flopping down onto the little two-seater sofa with his legs stretched out in front of him. That it's cold doesn't seem to bother him at all, as he makes no effort to start up the fire in the hearth. "Anyway, I've not had the knot long enough to know if I'm good or not." He looks up at K'zin, then leans well back into the cushions behind him; it may be a battered old thing, but the loveseat's certainly comfortable. "Um, remember the hammock I mentioned to you, before? I thought maybe you could help me come up with a rig or something, in here. Maybe something on pulleys? There's not much room, so I guess if it could go up, and out of the way when I'm not using it, then maybe it could be across here, or something." He turns around on the seat, indicating the spot between the walls of the narrow room; it's a metre or so back from where the sofa is, spanning no more than a few metres wide - the full width of the tunnel that makes up the arc of the horseshoe weyr.

"You are good." K'zin insists, "And have lots of energy for it, and that's good too." Then he grins, the kind of grin that is unmistakable as being the herald of a teenage boy joke, "Just be sure not to tire yourself out," The elbow nudges at N'ky, "With April and J'madri. Save a little energy for daylight hours." He winks, though his tone suggests perhaps that's advice that he's trying to take as well. The former smith glances back to where N'ky is suggesting the hammock and pulley system, slowly nodding after a minute, "Yeah, I'm sure between the two of us we can work something out. I bet Thraland would still look over my designs if I asked. Or N'hax. You know, check them for structural soundness. Wouldn't do you any good to be canoodling in the hammock and have it dump you on the ground because a pulley popped out of the stone." Another cheeky grin for the curly haired greenrider.

"I'm not doing anything with J'madri, Waki. We only just kissed. No more than what we just did." N'ky shrugs, curling his legs up on the couch, tucking his knees in beneath his chin. "And I'm not with April every night, either." He shrugs, wrinkling his nose and pursing his lips, as if the thought of it might be... unpleasant, in some way. Then, the thought of his hammock giving way makes him snort in amusement, reaching out to kick - well, more of a hard shove, really - K'zin with the bottom of his slipper-clad food. "It's not going to fall," he laughs. "Do you think you even can do stuff like that in a hammock?"

"I was just teasing, Nick. Sorry, I won't anymore." Some part of the bronzerider seems to pick up on that not being a very teaseable topic between them. He takes the shove easily, expecting comeuppance for his elbow-nudging. "I bet you can. Probably takes a lot of balance, and I wouldn't think you'd want to do more than kiss and feel each other up. Otherwise, you're bound to get broken fingers or broken--" He glances down to his crotch and back up, letting the look fill in the word, "--when you fall. Imagine explaining that one to the healers, tho' I bet they've heard it before." He can't help but snicker at this.

"Ow, Waki!" N'ky cringes at the thought of broken things, soft-foot kicking his friend again. "I bet even the healers haven't heard that one before - 'I fell out of a hammock and landed on my...'!" He looks down at said part, cringing again. Then he drops his feet down to the ground, leaning back once more, hands flopped either side of him. After a few seconds like that, he tilts his head sideways to look at the bronzerider, then laughs, looking away again and shaking his head. And while he does that? His hand sorta creeps over to capture his friend's, squeezing it. "Why'd you kiss me, K'zin? Twice now. Why'd you kiss me, if you're not that way? Because you seemed kinda... into it. Both times."

There's shared cringing and laughter for the first words, a nod of agreement to what the healers have likely heard before. K'zin grins at his friend for that. And then there's that question. The bronzerider can't help but tense a little, breath catching softly. Brown eyes slip away from the greenrider and his expression turns distant. The breaths drawn are slow and even, purposefully so. He leans his elbows onto his knees and clasps his hands in front of him, clasping and then re-clasping. "I never said I wasn't that way, Nick. I said I didn't know if I'm that way. Still don't. It's-- it's all really confusing." The last is admitted with a tone of helplessness. "I'm trying to figure it out. It's just... hard. I don't have a good answer right now. I might be that way, I might not. I don't know."

Frowning, N'ky leans forward too, giving K'zin his space but practically echoing his position. "I'm still not that way, K'zin. I know I'm not. Not fully. Who says there even has to be a that way?" He snorts dismissively, shaking his head. "I don't think it should matter." Then the greenrider gets up to wander over to the little hearth, kneeling down in front of it to start building a fire to ward off the coolness carried in by the permanent draught. It takes a couple of attempts to get it lit, but soon enough the flames take and start crackling away. That's when he comes back to the little loveseat, curling his long legs up against him when he sits back down. "We've sorta swapped, Waki. You used to be the one who was so cool with all this, and I used to freak out about... everything." He smirks, resting his chin on his knees before throwing out an abrupt topic change: "What've you done with girls so far?"

"No. I think-" K'zin sucks his lower lip into his mouth, letting it scrape back out slowly from under his teeth before continuing. "I think it's possible to be that way about just one--" A sidelong glance to N'ky, "--or a few guys without being interested in all guys. Possible, too, to get aroused by making out whether its with guys or girls because it's making out. You know?" He shrugs his shoulders then, fingers starting their clasp-unclasp-reclasp routine again. "I don't think it does matter really." There's a beat. "Nick... it's not the physical part I have a problem with. It's-- feelings. I don't know if I have them, but even if I do have some of some kind-" Not to be anything but completely vague, "I can't talk about them. I can't find words that say what I mean, especially since I don't even know what I feel. Or if I really feel anything." Deep breath as the bronzerider sits back and lets his arms lie across the arm rest and the back of the couch, pose relaxed, even if he is not. "Everything," comes the simple answer to his friend's question, shrugging. "Or at least, all the usual stuff between kissing and having sex. I'm learning a lot. Sometimes the lesson's pretty-- embarrassing. He reaches a hand to rub the back of his neck, head tilting down in an attempt to hide his blush. "There was a girl the other night that'd shown up on my ledge - that I knew from the 'caverns and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to satisfy her. Going to have to see if she'll let me try it again once I learn some more tricks."

"You have feelings. Of course you have feelings - if you didn't, you wouldn't have friends. Friendship is as much a feeling as love, or lust, or anger or anything." With the sofa being so small, K'zin's arm along the back of it is right alongside N'ky. He eyes it thoughtfully, then cants his head to rest his cheek on the rider's forearm, just briefly. "I wouldn't have someone who can't feel anything as my best friend." Then his brown eyes narrow slightly, and he drops his feet back down to the floor so he can lean towards his friend. "Waki. If it's just feelings that're stopping you, then... why does us doing anything have to change what we feel for each other right now? We kissed. We're still friends. I'm not falling madly in love with you because I've had your tongue down the back of my throat; I'm not falling in love with April, and I'm with her all the time. Are you worried I might... change? Or that you might change? Or both? Or... or do you just not want to talk about it? We... we don't have to. I'm just curious, I guess." He shrugs, leaning against the back of the loveseat, trying not to brush against the bronzerider's arm too much. "I like using my tongue. April... she makes these sounds, and... she sorta squirms, and it's... I just... I like it." Cue a bout of major blushing.

"Not change... Exactly..." K'zin looks distinctly uncomfortable as he tries to come up with a good answer. The whole topic of feelings seems to be a tough one for him. He's pushing up off the little couch then, "I've-- gotta-- I can't, Nick. I can't talk about this. I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. I know. I'm sorry. I'm going to go." He's blushing pretty furiously as he makes move to head for the ledge. But at least this time he didn't make up an excuse and told the truth. Progress! Small, but progress nonetheless.