Logs:Of Ambition and the Future
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| RL Date: 5 July, 2006 |
| Who: M'wen, R'hin |
| Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]] |
| When: Day {{{day}}}, Month {{{month}}}, Turn {{{turn}}} ({{{IP}}} {{{IP2}}}) |
| Your location's current time: 16:17 on day 6, month 4, Turn 58, of the Tenth Pass. It is a spring afternoon. Lake Shore, High Reaches Weyr This shoreline marks the edge of the freshwater lake that fills the southeastern portion of the bowl. The gritty dirt of the bowl gives way to smooth sand. Across the lake, the bowl wall rises high into the sky, its face dotted with weyr entrances. A few dragonlengths above the water, glimpses of a level cliff can be seen amidst boulders lining the edge. Just south of here, a smaller pond of water is divided from the main lake by a natural bridge of land. A path leads across the bridge and up to the diving cliffs, winding through a dotting of small boulders on its way. The afternoon is partly cloudy, though the sun still shines through. There is a strong breeze that creates ripples upon the lake. Contents: M'wen Obvious exits: LAke Pond Diving Cliff Bowl It's a relatively warm spring afternoon in the 'Reaches, and R'hin's taking advantage of it in between errand-running. He's currently sprawled across his rock, and since it's bathed in patches of sunlight, he's taken off his shirt in an effort to work on his tan. Far above, the cinnamon-bronze circles, lazily turning in the thermals that rise above the lake. Walking slowly along the lakeshore, occasionally bending down to pick up a small flat rock, and skipping it along the cool clear water, M'wen meanders onwards. Grunting slightly when tossing a larger rock with more force, he runs his hand along the shallows, shivering slightly at the difference in temperature between the air and water. Noticing the scruffy-hair of a man lying on the rocks, he whistles a cheerful tune, pointedly not making conversation, knowing where it would lead too. "Illustrious Wingleader," comes R'hin's bassy, smooth voice - inevitable, really, once he realized who was walking along the lake shore. He props an elbow under his head so he can see the brownrider a bit better, lips quirking. "With the weight of the world on his shoulders, I see." M'wen grins cheerfully at R'hin, "Yup, but the weight was getting a bit heavy, so I'm taking a breather, I notice your making a great use of your time as well, my bronze-rider." Picking a stone he flings it out into the lake, it landing with a small *splash* in the distance. "I'm sorry if i'm not allowed to have any free-time your natural connivingness, I'll remember that next time." Scuffing the dirt at his feet for a second, M'wen reaches over to grab another stone. "Oh, you're allowed, certainly," R'hin allows, magnanimously, "I'm just happy that you set such a fine example for me to follow." A twitch of lips proves that he's deliberately provoking, and perhaps it's also a white flag of truce, as his next words are lightly even, "I'd forgotten what sunshine actually felt like. Maybe I'll go south next winter." "Ah my fine fellow, you know as well as I do, that no matter what example someone sets, your bound to not follow it." M'wen responds, but doesn't drive the point any farther as R'hin changes the topic to something less of a hot topic. "Really? Probably not a good idea to choose the High Reaches then, well actually, you didn't really have a choice. Hmm, well we have most of the year left for you to enjoy the sun, so enjoy it well you can..." Then with a glance up into the sky, he adds, "By the look of those clouds, you won't be feeling the sunshine for very long...probably a good idea to go in soon." A low chuckle rumbles out of the bronzerider. "Too true, all too true. You know me far too well for comfort." R'hin pushes himself up so that he's propped up on one elbow, the better to see his fellow weyrling with. "No," voice is markedly without tone, "I didn't exactly have a choice." One shoulder lifts and falls in such a smooth motion it could almost be missed. "Besides, Ista and Igen would be far too hot for me in the summer. Maybe I can split the difference and spend spring and fall at Fort." Pale eyes drift upwards, not towards the cloudy sky, but towards Leiventh as his shadow crosses over him. "Mmm. Oh well. So," the change of topic is swift, "Tell me, my good brownrider, what are your plans, when we graduate? -If- we do." Wry twitch of lips, that comment more self-directed than anything. A small smile crosses M'wen's face as he ponders the question, "I assume you meant me instead of we, but I'll let that slide. I'm hoping to get into a wing, helping them do whatever it is new recruits do in wings, and I'd try to one day lead my own real wing, intermittenly going to flights, for Maxeoth of course, and so forth." shrugging a bit, "Yeah, I know, -really- exciting isn't it, but sounds good to me, what do plan on doing?" A sharp gesture of R'hin's hand indicates that was precisely his meaning, though he felt it was obvious. "Hoping to get into a wing?" he echoes, with dry amusement. "That's going to happen no matter what you do. That's hardly ambitious." His lips twist at the rest of M'wen's answer, exhaling in a long drawn out sigh, a hint of disappointment in it. "You strive for the mediocre, M'wen, when you could be so much more." Fingers are held up as he echoes, "Part of a wing, lead one unspecified day, flights, etc. Just like a thousand other riders." Fingers drop into a fist, and he adds, "Don't you want to do more?" M'wen's question of him is, for now, waved aside. M'wen's eyes narrow slightly, "How can you call my ambitions medicore when you have none of your own? You may consider them mediocre, but at the moment, yours are worthless, and I'd rather live my life in a way some would consider mediocrity, then in a life with no seeable goals except the taunting and humiliation of others." Picking up a sizable chunk of rock, he throw it as hard as he can to vent of a bit of frustration, relaxing slightly on the resounding sound of it hitting the waves. "More you say? If it invloves the likes of you, I'd rather have nothing, because then at least I can retain my sense of honour and dignity, instead of having a self-inflated ego and power achieved through deceit and lies." R'hin remains propped up on one elbow, pale eyes focused on M'wen, a glint of something in his eyes, well-heeled. "I have ambitions, I simply choose not to share them at this point - since you're so certain I'm full of deceit and lies, it would be of little use to try and explain them." With a slight shake of head, he says, "I say that not to demean you, but because I see potential in you for so much more, M'wen, and it seems a waste for you not to strive further, higher." M'wen shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts, "Do you know the reason that I think you are full of deceit and lies? Not once have you ever given me reason to believe otherwise, and still you have not." Running his hands through his hair, he sighs briefly, "Like what for example? I can tell by your naturally scheming thoughts you have something in mind. Go ahead, I'm listening." There's a hint of something in glittering eyes, but R'hin keeps the facade of casual indifference, accompanied by another one-shouldered shrug. "I'm not here to make friends, M'wen. I've never claimed to be something I'm not - I'm arrogant, yes, and an asshole, and not once have I ever tried to deny that. If that makes me deceitful, well..." he smiles, briefly. "There are a lot worse people in this Weyr who pretend otherwise. I'd be more worried about -them-, if I were you." He pushes himself up into a seated position, arms resting along his knees, staring at the brownrider intently as if assessing him briefly. "Just think about the position we're in for a moment. Thread's not falling, and won't be for at least another two hundred turns. We're obsolete, you and I; our only purpose right now is to continue the species until Thread falls again. In two hundred years, do you think the Halls and Holds will be as grateful for our protection after laying around for two centuries waiting for the threat to return? I don't think so. We stand at a crossroads here. It will be up to us - people like you and me - yes, even me - to change that fate. To prevent another massing of Lord Holders at our gates, to make it worthwhile for them to still tithe to us, and feel grateful for our presence." His eyes are guarded, as if waiting for M'wen to dismiss his concerns out of hand. "You may think what you like of me, M'wen, but I worry for the future of the Weyr, because that future is now -my- future." M'wen looks a bit astounded, almost looking at R'hin happily. Breathing deep, "I never thought I'd see the day R'hin cared about something other then himself." Then smirking a bit, "Well it's still for yourself, but I'm still surprised." Slowly nodding then, M'wen has a far off look to his face, expression blank in thought, "Yes, there are people worse then you..." he begins slowly, "but they are not in my wing, and I do my best to look out for all of you, whether you believe it or not, even you on this one. I get what your saying, but how does that give you any reason to be arrogant and deceitful...if anything you should be less so, because what sort of lord holder would -Want- to tithe a place where the lowest people on the heirarchical chain feel themselves better then all else. Your digging yourself into a corner with this, but I do understand your concern on the issue, and I'm curious. You most assuredly have something in mind, or you wouldn't have brought this up...I know you well enough to see you don't act without thinking through all the consequences towards yourself, andkeep things to yourself unless they need to be said, so..spit it out, whats your o-so glorius plan to save the weyrs." R'hin spreads his hands, as if helpless. "Yes, it's selfish, but what does my reasoning matter, so long as we want the same thing? Arrogant and deceitful is part of who I -am-. I can't change that, any more than L'sen can change from his happy, carefree attitude. That said, I have a part to play - if you think honesty and humility alone will see us through, then you're wrong. Lord Holders -expect- riders to be arrogant. If they aren't, they'll simply walk all over them. I will not see this Weyr become subservient to anyone." His voice strengthens, resonant, resounding with intensity at the topic of conversation, his feelings on the matter strong indeed. There's a long pause, before he exhales slowly. "M'wen, I'm going to say this, and please believe me when I say this as a compliment - you are honorable, and you believe in the good of people. Whereas I... I believe in the inherent selfishness of people. I know how to see that, and use it. I think it's better if you don't know, because you're a good person, and I wouldn't want to be the one to change that." His voice lowers, quieter but no less intent, pale eyes guarded. M'wen looks at R'hin with interest, seeing his vehemance on the topic. "It's easier to see people as inherantly evil then as inherantly good, the underlying selfishness is visible everywhere I go, especially in those of rank. It's becoming harder and harder to see people as naturally good when they can commit such evil, but I can now see your selfishness isn't an evil, its actually just underlying human behavior. Other people repress it, but I now see that truthfully everyone has the natural urge to think of only themselves and just give in to their urges and lusts. I see that you are acting only as you should, and for once, I shall admit I respect you for that, and if you want to keep your opinions and plans a secret, I'll let you. But you know as well as I do who I am, and no matter what it seems, I'm as set in my ways as you are, and nothing will change that, so say what you will and I'll hear you out." The bronzerider dips his head, both in respect and agreement, exhaling slowly as if he's passed some test. R'hin's voice is soft as he agrees, "Yes - it's harder to see the good. That is why I do not ask you to change. You are a rare breed, and it is the trait of a true hero." A little twitch of lips at that, but the faint amusement seems self-directed. He's pointedly silent throughout M'wen's evaluation of his motivations, pale eyes even, still guarded, confirming nothing. "What we do - what we're made to do, as weyrlings, and as riders - hasn't changed in the last hundred, two hundred Turns - even longer. Tradition, you see, and we're even now being groomed to simply accept what is. Like you wish to do. I believe the only way we can ensure the future of this Weyr is to change that. To change what as gone before, to adapt to our new situation, to make ourselves well-thought of. You believe that I defy S'din's authority simply because I can, or because I believe I'm better than him. I do not. I defy him because he teaches us to become automatons, to obey and follow tradition as it has been laid down for centuries. I defy him because I believe the only way to see us through is to make changes; changes that will rattle older riders, that will make them question who they are and what they are. I defy him because I worry that he and his ilk will teach people like you and me to follow in his footsteps, and nothing will change, and we will be doomed. My reputation, my status - it means nothing in the face of the fate of the Weyr." Looks at his feet, kicking a small rock into the lake with a small plop. "I....I...understand exactly what your saying, your afraid that history is doomed to repeat itself indefinately, forever acting as it had in the past, never advancing, never changing. Your afraid of the stagnancy of our current society and how we're slowly spiraling into oblivion and digging our own grave by following traditions which should have died out long ago." Clentching his teeth slightly, "S'din...evrything we've been taught....it's all tradition to make us the perfect model dragonmen, and to teach it thesame way to the next generation...and the next...into the spiraling abyss of time..." His eye's harden, thinking of what R'hin has long been trying to convey. "Whatever needs to be done, I'm with you....I can almost understand you for once." "Yes," the word is soft, hissed relief on R'hin's part, as he sees the understanding in M'wen's expression. "Yes, that's exactly it. I do not wish us to fall into old habits, to be forgotten and cast aside." His head lowers for a moment, as if needing a second to compose himself, though his voice when he goes on still has that intensity to it. "It wasn't out of the desire for your company that I asked you to come with me to Igen the other day. Granted, I didn't expect there to be a flight, which was kind of a kink in my plans," a rueful twist of lips is given, "But I've seen how uncomfortable you are sometimes with outsiders. It's something you need to work on, something you need to overcome. Fostering relations with places outside the Weyr - particularly those in our coverage area - is going to be essential. I think you have the potential in you to be great at it, given time." The bronzerider pushes a hand through his hair, not looking up as Leiventh's shadow crosses them again, attention fixed on his fellow weyrling as a hand flickers back towards the Weyr. "There is much more to strive for, than what they offer." M'wen nods his head in understanding, "Two things though, firstly, what can you hope to achieve as a weyrling? At the moment, we're lower then low, bottom of the chain. Just get into a position where you have influence before having such controversial actions....because right now, all your doing is losing any credability you ever had to the others. And secondly, what does disrespecting S'din have to do with helping change the weyr? If you played the good little weyrling until you achieved something power-wise, then started implementing change, people would be more likely to follow along and many would see what you are saying, instead of scorning your attitude and arrogance." "Right now, we can plan, we find others who think like us, we can make ready." R'hin doesn't seem perturbed by M'wen's points. "You and I aren't the only ones who believe that change is necessary. One day - not tomorrow, not this Turn, but eventually, circumstances will change, that will allow us to start making changes." He is purposefully vague, and it doesn't seem like he'll go into any more detail on that score. Shoulders twitch, smile twitching his lips. "I lose credibility, yes. But that's where people like you come in, M'wen." At the mention of the Weyrlingmaster, his lips curl back slightly, the motion barely halted from an open snarl. "I can't help it. I am who I am. I am not one who can stand by and say nothing. Besides, it is not -me- people will follow. I am not a leader; I never will be." He seems oddly vehement on that score. M'wen looks a bit puzzled about the last comment, scratching his chin a bit reflectively "Well....then who is it people will follow? And how are you supposed to find others in a place so ridden with hidebound people who follow tradition to the word?", His tone is dull, and his face expressionless, but a slight gleam of excitment is easily visible in his eyes. R'hin leans forward a little elbows resting on his knees, chin propped on his folded hands. "The truth of the matter is, bronzeriders don't lead the Weyr. Goldriders do - they're the one constant, and once they're in power, they stay that way until they're ill or they retire." He exhales slowly, voice soft, "Josilina may be a good Weyrwoman, but she is not a Weyrwoman of change. She continues the traditions, because it is easier to follow, then fight. There is another who believes otherwise." His head tips, before he says slowly, "To find others not hidebound? That is the hardest part. That is something I am starting to do - one thing I can do. There are a few already - not many, but a few. I will keep looking." M'wen sits down against the rock R'hin was lying on, taking it all in, "Who is this goldrider you speak of? She must be younger to not have become hidebound, and I don't think she could be from the 'Reaches as most of our goldriders are older..." Shaking his head agian, to clear his thoughts, "Do you trust me enough to tell me R'hin? Or am I not ready to handle the truth?" "It's not my place to make that decision." R'hin says, with an odd - and for him, out of place - deference to his tone. "It's her decision whether to talk to you or not." As M'wen takes a seat, he hooks one foot up onto the rock, arms folding around his knee. He's silent for a moment or two, gaze shifting upwards once more to watch the almost hypnotic circling of the bronze above. "Thank you for listening, though, M'wen. It's more than many are willing to do." "Patience is a virtue, and I'll try to maintain it, I shall be waiting, one day I will know, thank you for opening my eyes to the world around us, and to who I can be, instead of what I'm supposed to be." M'wen says, turning up towards R'hin with a slight grin, "We can be friends yet!" With a push of palm to the rock, R'hin hoists himself up in one smooth motion, executing a bow that is not at all mocking. "You're welcome," he says, sincerely, before a low chuckle escapes him. "Now, don't rush into that, M'wen. I'm still a deceitful manipulator. Don't ever forget that," he says, his warning oddly sober. He untucks his shirt from where it was stuffed into the edge of his pants, shaking it out and tugging it over his head, eyes glittering with a sudden idea. "How about we kill two wherries with one stone? Go somewhere warm, and get you working on those diplomatic skills of yours?" a rakish smile appearing a moment later. "No interrupting mating flights this time. I hope." "Ah yes, can't forget the deceitful liar part, now can I?" M'wen chuckles, Raising an eyebrow at the second part, "Oh? Where do you have in mind for us to go?" "Don't worry," R'hin assures, "I'll remind you from time to time. I mean that when I say I don't wish for you to change." He glances up, as Leiventh's wings dip, the bronze's spiral bringing him closer before he lands nearby with a flick of sand. "Well, we went to Igen the other day, so how about Ista this time? Leiventh's gotten the visual off a green." In the sky directly above, Leiventh wings down and lands lightly at the lake shore. Leiventh has arrived. Maxeoth tromps over from the eastern side of the bowl. Maxeoth has arrived. "Lead on", is all M'wen says while strapping up Maxeoth in preparation for the coming flight. Jumping up on his back, and getting ready to fly out to ista. M'wen hops up onto Maxeoth's back, the dragon's sparkling eyes watching closely. M'wen has left. "I think you should lead, don't you... sir?" R'hin glances over, pointed, as he leans up to grab his flight jacket from Leiventh's saddlebags, quickly tugging it on before he climbs the bronze's side. You jump up onto Leiventh's back, using his foreleg as a step. » On Maxeoth, M'wen smiles at R'hins manner, "Your probably right about that one, send me the visualization, and off we go!" » In the sky directly above, Maxeoth leaps into the sky from the lake shore below. You rise up into the sky. You wing upward in the sky. » Maxeoth disappears into Between. » Leiventh disappears into Between. |
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