Logs:Departure from Bliss
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| RL Date: 29 June, 2013 |
| Who: Rasavyth, K'zin |
| Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]] |
| What: Rasavyth and K'zin react, following a a conversation with Aishani. |
| Where: Questionably Painted Weyr (K'zin's), High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day {{{day}}}, Month {{{month}}}, Turn {{{turn}}} ({{{IP}}} {{{IP2}}}) |
| Mentions: Aishani/Mentions, Iolene/Mentions, Jo/Mentions, K'del/Mentions |
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There had never been this kind of silence. It was more than silence, though, he realized. It was absence. Even when they were first bonded and K'zin had been so frightened by him, Rasavyth had been able to see into his rider's thoughts whenever he wished. He had never wished to more than this moment. It wasn't even like hitting a wall. A wall can be overcome. It was like knowing something was there, but tripping into nothing whenever he reached. His surprise made him all the more uncomfortable. How had he not seen-- not anticipated that his K'zin was capable of this? He was blind. So it was time to see. Moving from the ledge where the winter wind whipped chill across him, he nudged past the curtains and many faceted eyes caught on a sight that brought a whole new chill to him: chill and fear. There was K'zin. Unmoved from where he last saw him, sitting at the table, back to his dragon. He was there, but Rasavyth couldn't feel him. « K'zin? My dearest K'zin? Where are you? » The tenor extended into the emptiness where K'zin should be. « What is wrong? » He asked, but he knew. He saw in the moments before his lifemate became as nothing: the words had reverberated through K'zin's mind. "Cunning and ambitious dragon. Ignorant rider." Then repeated. "Cunning and ambitious dragon. Ignorant rider." And repeated. "Cunning and ambitious dragon. Ignorant rider." And repeated. Growing louder and louder until there was no room for any other thought. Louder and louder until he could no longer even recognize the words and it was just a wordless expression of the man's anger and despair. "Cunning and ambitious dragon. Ignorant rider." Was it too late for damage control? All Rasavyth's careful, painstaking efforts to keep his inner nature hidden, to keep K'zin ignorant, to bring him to it slowly, logically, so it didn't seem so wrong. Was he wrong? Sometimes he wondered. What was wrong with ruthlessly pursuing what one wanted? What was wrong with getting what one wanted? What was more important than that? Goodness was a delusion. There were only different kinds of selfishness. The heroes of the world were only those who enjoyed the praise of others for their nobility better than they liked other things. « My K'zin? » Rasavyth could feel the panic rising. He knew who he was. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he would be willing to do to get it: anything. What he also knew was that he could not lose his K'zin. The feeling of this absence was like shrapnel torn from within his heart. Within his own bubble of silence, he screamed.
Rasavyth from shelling, insidiously worming his way into K'zin's mind, suffocating him with ooze. The hatching... in the barracks just after, the overpowering strength of his lifemate, how not even K'zin could stand between the dragon and whatever the dragon wanted. Unstoppable. That had made him write to K'del. To reach out for someone to help him learn a sense of will. It's what had prompted him to finally make a deal. A deal with Devaki. Well, not really Devaki, but one easily as evil as the rumors would make the new Lord Holder out to be. Maybe instead of the coined phrase of 'making a deal with Devaki', K'zin would try to coin the phrase with Rasavyth in place of the Blooded exile. It was humor, but it was bitter. Bitter as he was thinking on all the moments when warning bells tried to sound, but Rasavyth had muted them with his ooze, his logic, his charm. When it was just the two of them, he seemed like such a normal, good guy. Apply Rasavyth to the crazy mix that was the world, and that easy-going, joke-cracking, dirty-minded dragon was something else entirely. A 'something else' that K'zin could suddenly see clearly: cunning and ambitious, but that he could not wrap his mind around. He could tell his brain was trying. Really trying. He had a headache that was doing it's best to blind him. Maybe that was Ras. Was Ras somehow trying to erase what K'zin had just heard? One of his many previously dismissed suspicious was that the bronze tinkered with K'zin's memory when it suited him. But no, there was no feel of ooze to this. In fact, there was no ooze anywhere, it dawned on him. He felt numb. It had been an initial onslaught of intense feeling. Confusion, anger, frustration, fear, despair, and betrayal. Now, he felt... empty. He didn't even know how to begin to address it all. This is the moment where Rasavyth would read him; read everything he was thinking and feeling, and make it all sound reasonable. Knit neat omissions to let K'zin go back to believing in only the pieces Rasavyth wished him to while he kept secrets. So many secrets, K'zin was sure. But those words? That logic? They didn't come. He blinked, the room came back into focus and he twisted his head to look toward the ledge. Rasavyth was close, his sinuous neck extended as far into the wide cavern as he could get without getting stuck at the narrowest section of the tunnel. The first thing K'zin was able to take in was just how close Rasavyth was. It was a surprise. They'd always shared an exceptionally accurate of the other's physical positioning and proximity. Now? There was Rasavyth, here was K'zin, and he couldn't feel him, at all.
Someone was bound to hear his distress soon if he didn't get it under control. He knew, but he couldn't stop it. The fact that he couldn't control his obsessive need to go to K'zin, to be with K'zin frightened him. He couldn't stop it, but he could channel it. Tacuseth! He directed all of his intense confusion, panic, pain and fear to the blue, one who could be trusted. One who perhaps could even help.
Both brains are a mess, both of them are a mess. Neither seems to be able to get it under control. Rasavyth's panic, K'zin's emotional upheaval. The exchanges between them are fractured at best. "Back up!" K'zin bellows, but the bronze won't, not until the man's hand contacts his snout. Then, sudden clarity and silence. « Who are you? » The baritone confused, frightened. « I am... your Rasavyth. » The tenor is pained. « And who is that? » A blink of wet eyes. « Explain. No lies. No secrets. Not to me. Not ever. » It is in desperation, fear of the threat of losing his K'zin all over again, to that horrible feeling of nothing, that Rasavyth's walls crumble, and he explains... CommentsAzaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Sun, 30 Jun 2013 03:42:12 GMT. <
Okay, my heart actually hurt a little when Rasavyth started to creel. Poor thing.
Who figured something like this could be brought on by a simple discussion? It was positively cataclysmic.
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I was wondering if it would finally happen... when it would. Oiy vey. I too felt for ras for a couple moments when *he* finally understood what it was to need someone beyond all rational thought...but then I remembered what he's been doing to Waki. And I went chill again. >.>
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Comments
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Sun, 30 Jun 2013 03:42:12 GMT.
<
Okay, my heart actually hurt a little when Rasavyth started to creel. Poor thing.
Who figured something like this could be brought on by a simple discussion? It was positively cataclysmic.
Alida (Alida (talk)) left a comment on Sun, 30 Jun 2013 07:41:38 GMT.
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I was wondering if it would finally happen... when it would. Oiy vey. I too felt for ras for a couple moments when *he* finally understood what it was to need someone beyond all rational thought...but then I remembered what he's been doing to Waki. And I went chill again. >.>
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