Logs:Long Overdue
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| RL Date: 18 August, 2013 |
| Who: K'zin, Madilla |
| Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]] |
| What: K'zin and Madilla have a long overdue "catching up" chat. Plans are made and things get a little philosophical for a moment there. |
| Where: Kitchens, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day {{{day}}}, Month {{{month}}}, Turn {{{turn}}} ({{{IP}}} {{{IP2}}}) |
| Mentions: Dilan/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, K'del/Mentions, Lilabet/Mentions, Quielle/Mentions, Tolman/Mentions, Vinien/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated and played via gdocs. |
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| Kitchen, High Reaches Weyr Polished marble and granite surfaces, gleaming metalwork and pale woods characterize the vaulted fastness of the kitchen. Several large hearths gape red-mouthed against the outer wall of the cavern, their fires almost always stoked for the constant cooking the Weyr requires to feed its denizens. Sinks line the wall to one side of the hearths, providing ample space to wash large quantities of dishes, while to the other, cabinetry and a deep pantry provide storage space for items commonly needed on a day-to-day basis. The remaining wall space is taken up by passageways and extra seating: swinging doors that lead variously to the main living cavern, the inner caverns and the storage rooms, a counter-height pass-through for food service to the Snowasis, and a series of nooks equipped with tables and benches for quick, out-of-the-way meals any time of day.
Healers aren't the only ones for whom disjoined meals can occur. K'zin's been volunteering himself for extra duties when permitted; just one more way to prove he's part of the team! It means that today, he's coming off a morning shift quite a lot later than most and his stomach is rumbling. Nevertheless, when he collects his stew and fruit, his 'can't-wait-to-eat' look has faded into apathy. The apathy wanes as he catches sight of the redhead at her table and makes his way over, approaching with an easy, "Hey Mads," before his eyes are ranging over the squares. "Got room for one more?" He queries. "Oh!" says Madilla, glancing up, a fabric square in hand. "Of course, K'zin. Let me shove some of these aside for you-- there's plenty of room." She does exactly that, beginning to re-stack the squares further down the table; evidently, the proper arranging of them can wait, or perhaps she's just so unenthused by her efforts thus far that she has no interest in keeping it. "How are you, anyway? It's been a while." "Too long." K'zin answers with an apologetic smile. Too many months, in fact. Once there's enough space cleared, his bowl settles on the table and he slides into a seat, keeping the fruit in hand to bite into. "I'm busy. Trying to prove to my wing I'm worth my salt. Though, if my effort were reflected in actual salt or otherwise salted foods, I'd be eating much more than this. I think they might be trying to starve me." But not just him specifically; all the strapping lads of 'Reaches. "How are you? And Lily and Dee?" He asks the questions eagerly, a smile on his face. "It's getting a little... repetitive, isn't it?" Madilla's got sympathy for K'zin's situation, even if she's cautious about sounding too critical. "It'll be lovely when this turn's tithes come in, and there's some more variety. I know things haven't been as bad as they could have been, but... well." She stretches, setting down her fork as if, now that they've started talking about food, she really can't keep eating it. The fruit, however, is more palatable. "I'm well. They're well, too. We've been able to get out of the Weyr a little, this summer, which has been nice. Visiting." That means High Reaches Hold, according to rumour, as well as further afield. "A little." K'zin agrees with meaning far beyond the choice of word. It doesn't keep him from eating it though. A nod is his fervent agreement to the talk of the tithes, "Can't come soon enough, as far as I'm concerned." He adds after a mouthful. "I'm glad you're all well. I was thinking, because I was planning on coming to visit you anyway, because it has been too long, that maybe if you needed a ride anywhere, I could do that for you. It's not the ideal way to get in time with one's friends, but better than nothing, right?" Madilla's piece of fruit is poised just at her mouth when K'zin mentions his offer - and she smiles, brightly, even if she'll wait until after she's eaten a mouthful of fruit to actually answer. "Thank you, K'zin," she says, warmly. "I appreciate that. Which isn't to say that we're often short of rides, but... you're right. It's certainly better than nothing. As long as you're not working too hard as it is. I wouldn't want you to put yourself out for me." Beat. "For us." "Mads, any opportunity to see you is a vacation. Well, except the ones that start with me coming to the infirmary for cause and especially those that end in me staying indefinitely." K'zin's baritone is lightly teasing, as is the grin he gives the healer. "I'm not over-working myself. Though I am running short on subjects to sketch. Didn't we once talk about me doing one of Dee for you? If I'm too slow about it, it'll be your turnday again before you have it in hand." "Let's hope we have no more of those visits," says Madilla lightly, her raised brows obviously intended to encourage a certain amount of diligence in avoiding such things. "I'd rather not see you for months at a time, than have to see you in a professional capacity, thank you very much." She is pleased by the reference to her son and allows, "I wouldn't mind a portrait of the pair of them, if you've the time. They're - growing up. Quickly." "I'm taking care of myself." K'zin rephrases his assurance and provides it again, with more emphasis. "I'm eating my stew and getting sleep and not worrying about everything I can't control." See? He's being good! ... Mostly. He takes a few bites to offer credence to his point. "I've time. For that, I definitely have time. When would be good for me to sketch them? I could come by or you could bring them to me, though not to my weyr. It's not child-friendly." The last is delivered factually, with just the smallest edge of sheepishness to it. Madilla's smile is... not maternal, but it could be, nearly. "Good," she says. "That's what I like to hear. I'd-- no, clearly not your weyr, then." She's still smiling, but her cheeks are ever so faintly pink, as if she's imagining what that could actually mean... or trying not to, perhaps. "You'd be welcome to come to my rooms. Perhaps some afternoon, next week. Unless... do you need better light than that? We've only glows; no windows or anything." "Of course it is." K'zin answers with a roll of his eyes. "Nevermind that then you go worrying about everyone and everything and taking meals when it's most convenient for those around you," Is he adding mind-reading to his repertoire? No, he's just known her enough turns, "I bet you've barely had a night all to yourself in the last six months." His challenge is gently made, but made nonetheless. "The glows will be fine. I might visit them in the nursery, too, if that's alright by you? See some different expressions and so on." The pink in Madilla's cheeks darkens minutely in reply to K'zin's words, which certainly suggests there's a lot of truth there. And yet: "The fact that I choose to spend my nights less than alone has nothing to do with any of the rest of that." It could be taken a few different ways, though the emphasis she puts on it suggests she's not talking about her children or her patients. Not to mention the way she hastily agrees, "Of course. They're both with the Harpers for much of the day, now, but after classes end for the day - you'd be welcome to drop in then." K'zin might need a healer. He does sort of seem to choke when she takes that perfectly logical route of defense that he-- wasn't thinking about at all. This is Madilla. He gets it under control quickly enough, but his cheeks are red by the time he does. That must be from the choking and not a blush, right? "I didn't mean--" He starts and then, just can't go on, "I'm glad that's going well for you." Deet dee dee. La la la. He looks anywhere but at the totally adult mother of two who clearly has never had sex in her life, despite their last conversation, and some before that. For whatever reason, today that's not a thought he's entertaining. "I'll do that. Won't interrupt or anything. Just didn't want to be that creepy guy without kids that hangs around the nursery. If I'm lucky, they'd just think I'm there to charm the nannies out of their skirts." Madilla's sex life? Totally not allowed as a topic. K'zin's? Apparently fiiiine! Oh look. Now they're both blushing, though there's something faintly amused in Madilla's expression; something that suggests she finds that particular reaction not far short of endearing. Kindly, however, she leaves that particular topic alone. "I'm sure they won't mind. I'll let them know that you might drop in - the nannies, I mean. So that they're prepared for it. We wouldn't want them to be too concerned about your intentions regarding their skirts." Clearly not. "No, no, that would be awful. I don't like anyone to be too concerned with my intentions for their skirts. It makes me bringing my intentions to fruition that much harder if they know to watch out for me." K'zin answers with tease in his voice. "And who likes to work hard?" He looks at the healer, squarely, managing to keep a straight face, since obviously there's at least one (if not two) sitting at this particular table who might answer that question with an 'I do!' Madilla does not manage to keep a straight face, though she's already losing hers during K'zin's first statement, and his remark on hard work only seals the deal. "Indeed," she agrees. "Hard work is clearly only for those who don't have anything better to do. It should be avoided at all costs. How are your efforts with Taiga going? You're settling in?" As always, she seems genuinely interested in the answer, though she's drawn her attention away from his face for the moment so that she can shift her plate out of the way, and begin spreading out her quilt squares once more. "At all costs." K'zin agrees with a resolute wave of his spoon. "Oh, they're going well enough. I think. I'm not sure I'm exactly liked, but I'm not disliked, and some tolerate me more than others. Obviously, I'm the newest except Quielle and she's got special circumstances around her, even now." He rolls his eyes just a little, but affectionately, in a brotherly manner. "I've been taking on extra duties when they let me. Trying to prove myself competent. But not trying to wear myself out. I've got turns, probably, to prove myself. And I won't always be the newest man in the wing." His shoulders roll, "At least K'del's not being a prick." Blunt. "Sorry. I mean just that we'd had a falling out and I was hesitant to stay with Taiga when he first tapped me." The sympathy that so briefly crosses Madilla's expression is, sadly, probably more for Quielle than for K'zin... though really, it could go either way; she certainly doesn't clarify. "It takes time to prove yourself," she says, then, and this time she sounds sympathetic. "It's hard, making people see you in a different light. Your wingmates saw you as a Weyrling; that's what they're used to, even though you're not one, now. It was the same when I walked the tables to Journeyman. You'll get there." She has faith. "You and K'del, you're better now?" She's curious, even pauses with her patch laying out in order to glance at K'zin as she asks. "It seems like things must be rough for him, now." "Well, soon enough there will be new weyrlings, and in a turn they'll be joining the wings. Time and consistency. That's all I can do." K'zin's answer is plain and comes with a shrug, but the voice indicates general agreement that yes, he will get there. "K'del and I are getting there. We still disagree about things, but... better. Went camping with him and his sons for his turnday." K'zin's face lights a little at this. "It was a hoot and a half." He adds with fond grin. "And things didn't seem so bad for him then. Or before. If things are rough for him, he's hiding it well. But then, he's K'del. He hides a lot of things well." The tightening of K'zin's jaw when he says that is indication enough that even though they've made progress, not all things are 'better'. Madilla's laugh is wry, but she agrees: "It's always easiest when you're not the newest person around, that's true. You'll get there." Like K'zin and K'del, presumably; like a lot of things. She gives a little short, sharp nod to confirm what he says about that other bronzerider, clearly pleased by the reaction to that camping trip, at least. "He never used to," she says, thoughtfully. "Once upon a time, he wore his heart on his sleeve. I suppose I did, too. And then we all grow up, one way or another, and... everything's different. You'll get there with him, too, I'm sure of it. Time and space... not that they are ever easy, I know." "I have a hard time imagining him as the heart on his sleeve type. Then again, I guess the same could be said of me. Do you ever think it's just a vicious cycle? People, good people, just mistrusting one another and the world around them and it all ends up just having us all isolated to our own thoughts and our own minds and bridging the gap just ends up seeming like too much effort?" K'zin's words flow at a quick pace. It's not exactly hurried, just more like free-forming thoughts brought to mouth and out before he really processes any of them. Processing comes though, after he's spoken, once he's put more stew in his mouth, the contents of the bowl dwindling. That particular train of thought obviously bothers Madilla; leaves her thoughtful and hesitant, and quiet for some time. "I think - the world tends to teach us all, eventually, to be mindful of our hearts. To hide them away, just in case of injury. Bruising. I would say it is less effort that ends up being the reason we hold things in, and more fear, as sad as that sounds." She plays with the edge of one of her quilt patches, stroking the flowers embroidered into it. That it bothers Madilla makes K'zin immediately both awkward and contrite, a blush rising to his cheeks. "Ah-er-- sorry, Mads. I guess sometimes I can get a little-- negative about how the world's looking. But I think there's something to that." What she said. He shifts his attention to the quilt pieces with obvious (perhaps even a little more than is strictly real) interest. "So. Tell me about your quilt. Commission for someone? Gift? I like the--" He stares at the pieces, "--colors." He ends with after a moment. The moment was for thinking, so what he liked would be a genuine something, not just what he was saying to try to change the subject. The glance Madilla aims at K'zin after his apology is knowing, but also a little sad, somehow, as if he's reminded her all over again that he really has grown out of the boy she used to know; turned into a man she's not less comfortable with, but perhaps less familiar. "A commission," she confirms, after a suitable pause. "I don't get as much time for them as I used to, but they're fun projects - I like keeping my hands busy," when she's not keeping them busy at work, of course, "and it's more interesting than mending. I've been teaching Lily, when she's in the mood for it. Which... isn't as often as I'd like." "Well, I'd imagine that as you add things to your life, you give up time for others. I know it's been that way for me. I started having to schedule myself time for my sketching. It's a good thing I have Tolman to meet with once a seven or so otherwise I'd probably get convinced-" By a certain presence in his head, "-that there are more important ways to spend my time. But I'm making marks with it now, so." That makes it a legitimate use of time. "Maybe instead of looking at it is as not as often as you'd like, you should look at it as... she's interested. My dad always wanted me interested in rocks. But I just wasn't. Has Lily been showing any interest in crafts she might like to pursue, liiike healing?" K'zin's curiosity is gentle but genuine. Madilla's nod acknowledges much of what K'zin has to say, even if it is accompanied by a rueful smile. "She's never going to be a healer, my Lily," she explains. "She wants to be a harper - or a greenrider, like her father was. Dee might follow in my footsteps, unless he follows through on his ambition of being a brownrider." Her explanations are mostly amused, like she finds this all quietly funny, but probably for reasons that aren't immediately obvious. "I'm not sure what his father thinks of that, but nevermind. I think... you're right, of course. We make time for the things that matter to us, and if we don't make time, it probably isn't as important as we thought it was." It's not so much what Madilla says as how she says it that has K'zin grinning at her, his expression bemused. "Harpers and greenriders are both perfectly respectable professions. I wanted to be a Harper, did you know? Before I wanted to be a Smith. But I don't have the ear for it. I'd've done well with the dancing and the rhythms but I wouldn't've been able to muddle through the other basic classes." He has a thoughtful moment before querying, "Will it matter what Dee's father thinks of what he'd like to do? I mean, he's not in line for succession, right?" This is asked almost sheepishly, his expression hinting that he feels like he might be asking about something that's none of his business. Then again, it might just be his personal track record with fathers and opinions about chosen professions that makes this topic a little uncomfortable for him. Madilla clearly did not know that about K'zin, and is surprised - and also amused. She doesn't have an opportunity to remark on it, though, because that mention of Dee's father has her hesitating, expression darkening. "Dee is not in the line for succession," she confirms. "And never will be. Ever." Slightly softer is her added, "but I'm sure he will have opinions, all the same, on what is appropriate. Parents to tend to do so." "Well, I don't see how he could make the argument that being a healer isn't appropriate, since Dee is the son of one of the best damned healers on the face of Pern." K'zin retorts with bravado and a snort, as if that should be obvious. "If he has a problem with it, you let me know, and I'll see to it that he gets a stern talking to about the merits of being a healer. I'll even resist doing the talking with my fist out of deference to the profession." Lord Holder or not. Bronzeriders live to make trouble for Lord Holders, right? Pleased, but also amused, by that endorsement, Madilla's mouth twists. "I don't think it's being a healer that might bother him," she explains, further. "Though I appreciate your support. I'm just not sure that Devaki will be... delighted by a son of his becoming a dragonrider. If that's what happens. It's - difficult enough, really. Dee will have to watch his half-brother become Lord Holder one day." Which obviously bothers the healer, though likely enough she's admitted to that before. K'zin rolls his eyes at the idea that having a dragonriding son would bother Devaki. "Well, then Dee will be in great company with all the rest of us riders whose parents have disowned us or at least frowned upon us for daring to Impress on the hatching sands. He'll never lack for comrades or family. You know that, you're from here." She may not be from here, but she's from here. Then, "And after he grows up here and sees all the crazy things we see with the Holders, I doubt Dee will mind watching his half-brother ascend. I can't imagine a sane man wanting the job of leading Holders." Dragonriders are totally different, right? Despite K'zin's reaction to the idea, Madilla seems uncertain, perhaps even to the point of being unconvinced. "I know I wouldn't want to be Lord or Lady Holder," she says, simply, bypassing the other topic. "But I suspect it would bother me to know that I am missing out because I'm not 'good enough', by birth. Vinien will live a life of luxury, and that's something I can't offer to Dee, whether he wants it or not." K'zin gazes at Madilla dubiously. "My childhood had its share of problems. But I still wouldn't trade it any day of the turn for an upbringing like Vinien's in for. Lives of luxury come with a lot of strings. Dee has the luxury of freedom. Freedom to choose who he marries or doesn't marry. Freedom to choose to stand for a clutch or not. Freedom to be anything he wants to be, and he has the bonus of a mother who's going to love and support him no matter what he chooses. Sounds to me like you're giving him the best he could possibly have." The young man's arms settle across his chest and the look he gives Madilla is downright stern. As though, how dare she question the upbringing she's giving Dee. K'zin can be as stern as he likes - Madilla's expression remains largely placid. "No, I don't imagine most of us would, from this perspective. But I do think it will be difficult, at times, seeing his brother... feted and... and just considered more important than he is. He's the bastard son, K'zin, and it doesn't matter that he's better off - there are things he's going to miss out on. There will be comparisons. Haven't we all looked at what someone else has, from time to time, and wished to be them? I know I'm doing the best I can for Dee, and I wouldn't have told Devaki about him if I hadn't thought it was the right thing to do, but... it does make things difficult." And he will. Stern K'zin is Stern as he continues to stare at Madilla. Finally, after several moments of silence, the bronzerider throws up his hands and then goes back to eating. "Everyone has difficult moments in life. Different people just have different ones. Really, I think you're worrying too much. The people at the Hold might consider Dee's half-brother more important, but not here." Where he calls home. Where it matters. Or where it matters to K'zin at any rate. Finally, abruptly, Madilla smiles. "I hope you're right," she says. "I just can't help but worry - it's what parents do, I'm afraid. Or," she acknowledges, a moment later, "why I do, anyway. I can't help myself, clearly." Idly, she begins packing up her fabric swatches again, clearly an indication that it's probably time for her to go, whether she wants to or not. "Some days, Mads," K'zin replies in a tone of one confiding a secret, "I think you have more worries than there are worries in the whole world." He's bites away from finishing his meal entirely, and surely he'll have things to get back to. "So I'll come by next seven to get started on the sketch. Try not to worry yourself away before then?" His smile is warm as he slides from his seat and collects the stew bowl. For that, Madilla looks rueful. "Maybe so," she agrees. "But you know me. I worry about the whole Weyr. I just can't help myself. And thank you-- I appreciate it." Her things get put away in her sewing bag, and she slings it over her shoulder before excusing herself to put away dishes, and then retreat into the caverns. Work, no doubt, calls. |
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