Logs:Wanted: 1 Daddy
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| RL Date: 30 June, 2013 |
| Who: Yvalia, K'del, Tayte |
| Type: [[Concept:{{{type}}}|{{{type}}}]] |
| What: Yvalia wants a daddy just like Dee. K'del is asked, and it turns out he wants the job. Tayte and K'del discuss and explore the possibility and the implications on their friendship. |
| Where: Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day {{{day}}}, Month {{{month}}}, Turn {{{turn}}} ({{{IP}}} {{{IP2}}}) |
| Mentions: Dilan/Mentions, Devaki/Mentions, Madilla/Mentions, Kasey/Mentions, Nikalas/Mentions, Milani/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated and played via gdocs. |
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| Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr The peculiar shape of this room suggests that it was unintentionally expanded, cement holding the ceiling together towards the peculiarly shaped alcove build into the back corner. It's larger than most personal quarters as a result, and though the uneven walls mean nothing sits flush, there's plenty of room for more than the usual amount of furniture. The larger lobe of the lopsided kidney shape that the room has might be considered a studio room. A large bed is tucked into the roundest part of the alcove, though there's a gap behind where the straight headboard does not meet the wall. It's piled high with furs and pillows. In this curve there's also a wardrobe, a dresser, and nightstands. Hooks extending from the ceiling over the dresser have been rigged with two layered chain-link that holds a number of bottles of alcohol of different varieties. The highest drawer in the dresser which is bizarrely the largest locks with a key. Opposite it, closer to the door, is a hearth that's had a throw rug and loveseat set in front of it, along with a few low tables. A set of shelves and a small desk sit opposite the curve of the smaller end of the room. Around the curve and into the little lobe, one finds a great change. There's color everywhere instead of the muted things in the front half. Scarves and streamers hang from little hooks installed in the ceiling, their lengths varying, and a crib is set up in the middle with two small boxes that have toys poking out of their not-quite-shut lids. There's a tall table stocked with all the tools a mother needs (well, those that are safe to be at toddler height) and a small dresser and wardrobe. The furniture is all hand-me-downs but in decent enough condition to make the occupants comfortable.
Even with K'del's renewed involvement in Weyr politics - and such complicated Weyr politics at that! - he's got more time up his sleeve than he ever used to... and two sons increasingly independent and far less interested in spending all their time with dad. Helping Tayte out is, as a result, easy enough for K'del to do-- shift this, postpone that, and be there at the nursery when it's time to make the pickup. Small girls are different from small boys, but he's getting used to Vali; there's no hesitation at all in him as he joins her on the floor, setting the tea set up as directed. "Don't you want to be the Lord's daughter, Vali?" he wonders, adjusting the position of one little tea cup. Apparently that adjustment just won't do, because no sooner has K'del moved the little tea cup, Vali's pushing forward onto her knees, not bothering to uncross her ankles and reaching to twist it back to its original position. Her expression turns from mildly annoyed at his position tweaking to thoughtful at his question. She tilts her head up while she's leaned over the tea set to ask, "Does dah Lord's daughter get to have dah Lord as her daddy like dah Lordses son?" "Sorry!" says K'del, genuinely contrite for his inadvertent mishandling of the teacup. Her answer has him furrowing his brow, obvious confusion flooding his expression as he works through where this might be coming from. Perhaps he hasn't kept up with the gossip, of late. "Of course," he says, pressing his hands to the floor. "That's how it works. Being your mama's daughter makes her your mama. But why do you want to be a Lord's daughter? To have all kinds of pretty things?" The purse of Vali's lips as she nails K'del with a very serious look only promises him forgiveness for the teacup incident this once. Then she's sighing, a fluttery little sigh. She pushes back onto her bum and then is rolling over to get onto her feet and toddle over to the bronzerider. "I'll tell you, but it's a secret. So you have to promise not to tell. 'Cause it makes Momma sad." There's an excess of gravity to the way she delivers all of this, one little finger pointing at his nose sternly. K'del holds out his arms, ready to grab hold of Vali and hoist her into his lap; that, at least, is no different between little boys and little girls. "Promise," he says, with a seriousness that seems to be genuine. "Wouldn't want to do anything to make your Momma sad. What's up, Vali?" The arms are readily accepted and once she's situated in the bronzerider's lap and comfy, her hands fold primly on her knees, waggling them slowly from side to side. There's another little sigh, "Well," So serious! "I want to be dah Lord's daughter 'cuz then I'd have a daddy. Dee's daddy is a Lord. He said so. He didn't have a daddy, like me, and now he does. And-- and-- and--" With each 'and' the little chest heaves and the eyes get progressively closer to overflowing with tears. "I want a daddy, too." Tears spill down her cheeks, lower lip quivering. "Will you be my daddy?" "Oh, Vali," breathes K'del, abruptly caught without words, though surely he should have anticipated something along these lines. Gently, he reaches across to try and wipe some of her tears away with his fingers, his hands enormous against her face. "Pretty sure having a Lord for a daddy isn't as good as having a normal person, but... I'll be better than a daddy, okay? We're pals, right? And I'll always be here for you." The logic of almost-four-turn-olds is sometimes lacking. What Vali appears to know as she suddenly wails into a sob is that what she wants is a Daddy, and all of those nice words boil down to 'no'. "But I want a daddy," is the protesting wail. Nevertheless, little arms are flung around K'del's neck and the slender form of the child pressed against his chest, sobbing. Since life is famous for perfect timing, now's, of course, the moment when Tayte's door swings open to allow the woman to enter, one of her cutesy work aprons on and hair pulled up and back away from her face, "Sorry! I-" She starts to call, but then there's crying to be heard and she's hurrying into the room, coming to a halt beside the rug, blinking down at Yvalia and K'del. Head-tilt, blink-blink, 'What on Pern--?' her face asks. Despite the number of times K'del's helped out, this is the first time Tayte's walked in on him as he handles a Vali temper tempest. And what can K'del do in the face of that? Nothing, it seems, except to wrap his arms more tightly around the sobbing toddler, rocking her back and forth. He seems to become aware of Tayte's arrival only when she stops on the rug beside them, his gaze lifting to meet hers. There's an apology in his expression, but all he says is, "You have me, Vali. And your Momma. We love you. Shhh. It's okay, I promise." Despite K'del's attempts, and Tayte's attempts, the toddler is largely inconsolable through the evening. Hope K'del didn't have plans for the night, because if he should try to leave, before the dinner Tayte fetches from the Craft Complex's lounge, or before it's time to lay Vali down for bed, a renewed tantrum occurs. It's further demanded that K'del be the one to put her to bed, and read her a story, and bring her a glass of water. And read her another story. Finally, Tayte steps in to lend K'del her motherly clout, but she does agree that they'll stay there until Vali falls asleep. Once she has, Tayte reaches for K'del's hand and pulls him gently, and quietly, around the corner into the larger lobe of the lop-sided kidney shaped cavern. Thankfully, the acoustics are such that the noise doesn't carry much. Once there, Tayte breathes a sigh of her own, moving to the bed to sag down onto the edge of the mattress. "Sorry, Kas. I know I didn't have you booked for the whole night." She tries to add some familiar humor, but... it's just not a fluffy night. There's no indication of anything but patience and attentiveness from K'del, throughout the evening. Still, by the time Tayte draws him towards the other end of the cavern, he looks worn-out, sinking on to the opposite end of the bed with a sigh of his own. He scrubs at his closed eyes with both hands, and then says, "It's not your fault. Kids... these things just happen, sometimes, you know? I didn't have plans. Sure she'll be okay in the morning." "But it is," Tayte protests softly with another sigh. Sighs for everyone. Repeated. "If I hadn't been a slut," she starts, the term bitingly derogatory, her elbows going to her knees and her face falling into her palms. At least the sentence isn't finished. She rubs at her face. "I'm sorry. You don't need this tonight," Her voice is heavy. She says 'tonight', but it means 'ever'. K'del drops his hands from his own face, and reaches, instead, to rest one of them on Tayte's shoulder. "No," he says. "No. Don't think like that. So you don't know who her father is; so what? She has you, and you're a wonderful mother. Know that doesn't help Vali, right now, but... the point is, Tayte, that you're doing the best you can." There is some part of her that is grateful for K'del's protest, and that shows in the small ghost of a smile that slips across her lips but doesn't stay. For once, she's not all smiles. "I know I am, but is that right? It it wrong of me to deny her a father when there are those who would, whether blood or not, claim her as their own? If I could sort out which were only trying to get to me and which really wanted her. I mean, there's one of them here. Not that he would want to claim her, I don't think, but--" It's possible. She's left biting her lip, not looking at the bronzerider. "And is it fair for me to ask you to help? It can't be easy having her ask you that. It doesn't feel right." There's deep apology in her eyes as she looks to him. K'del's hand stays where it is, resting gently, easily dislodged, upon Tayte's shoulder. Her 'one of them here' is obviously news to him, because he inhales, breath whistling through his front teeth, but he seems otherwise undaunted. "Wish I had an easy answer to any of that," he admits, at length. "Wish there were one. But don't hesitate to ask for my help, honestly. I like Vali. Shells, part of me wishes she were mine; always did want a little girl. She can ask me whatever she likes. Both of you can." "There aren't easy answers, only answers that aren't so hard as others, I think," Tayte responds ruefully. She reaches up a hand to collect his from her shoulder, wrapping both of her smaller ones around his much larger one. "I can't tell if this is more or less complicated because we're not sleeping together." It seems to be a tangent for which she doesn't expect a response, though the next requires one, "I think we should give you a special title for Vali. If you'd like that. Uncle maybe? Or I'm not sure. Something so she can feel like she has-- well, family, sort of. I guess." She sounds unsure, and even a little uncomfortable. In response to her hands, K'del's curves slightly, aiming to make his fingers rub across hers, just gently. Her tangent draws a low breath, but no actual answer; the other gives him pause, but not in a negative way. "I would like that," he confirms, a few moments later. "Uncle would work. Or - honestly, I don't mind what. But I'd be honoured to be considered part of her family. Do my best, anyway." If his expression turns briefly wistful, if his gaze slides away from Tayte and towards some distant spot on the wall, well. He's surely mentioned the growing rift between him and the young man he had considered to be something akin to a son. "Dad?" Tayte asks softly, "It's such an arbitrary title in some cases, you know? Mine fathered me and that was it. I don't even know if he held me when I was whelped, but... my foster father," Her expression then is a mixture of intense tenderness and pain, "He made my childhood so rich. We were never wealthy, but I was rich in love. I know that must sound silly. I wish I could give her that." Her hand squeezes K'del's, "Some days I can't help but wonder if I wasn't being selfish when I kept her. I could have fostered her to a good family, but... I wanted her. I still want her. I just wish it didn't mean she didn't have a Dad." Then blonde brows draw together, "Would..." Her eyes flicker to the bronzerider and she swallows hard, "Would you ever consider-- sort of-- fostering her?" Then she's shaking her head, "I'm sorry, I must sound crazy." Such is the want of a mother wanting to lessen a daughter's pain. K'del is silent as Tayte speaks, though his fingers tighten on hers and his mouth opens - opens, without interrupting her, and closes again until afterwards. She shakes her head, and then he does, too: "No, you don't sound crazy. She can call me anything she'd like to; I'd've said yes to her, earlier, except I didn't want to tread on your toes." Abruptly, he laughs. "I'd bet anything the Weyrhealer's wishing her son didn't have a father, around now. In a way, anyway. Anyway, the point is... reckon blood is important, but being there is more important. Don't know what's ahead for me, whether my life'll be changing again, or not, but I'd be honoured to be there for Vali, as much as I can be." There's a little bit of a laugh from Tayte. It's one that's sort of both strained and relieved at once. "So when her turnday comes up in a couple of sevens, I can tell her I got her a Daddy for her turnday?" Her hand slides away from from his then "I don't know. Maybe this isn't a good idea." It's with confusion that she then looks at K'del. "How would your boys feel about you sort-of adopting her?" She bites her lower lip, another question in her expression that never finds it's way to her lips. "I think..." K'del trails off before he even gets started, drawing his hand back to his own lap, where it sits, idly, the object of his scrutiny for several seconds before he turns his head to meet her gaze. "Doubt my boys would mind. Pretty sure they'd kind of like having a little sister, as long as it didn't interfere with their time with me. But - only if you're comfortable. Not going to demand anything from you, or from her, or... I should be straight with you. If I become that kind of figure in her life, it makes me even more cautious of the possibility of our relationship turning sexual. It wouldn't be fair to her, if something went wrong, and you and I-- not that I would abandon her." But it's awkward; it makes him awkward. A deep breath has her chest rising and falling, "That's... I was going to ask--" But the awkward. It's so awkward. With a blush on her cheeks she's rallying to combat the awkward, both hands reaching for K'del's, her eyes seeking his. "I've wanted to kiss you." She confesses softly, "Every time I do, though, since that one time, I overthink things - does it seem contrived? Will he want me to? I'm twenty-six but you make me feel sixteen sometimes." There's an edge of exasperation to her voice, but at the same time, excitement. "I'm-- happy when I'm with you." Her fingers curl, ocean gaze searching his lighter one. K'del takes one of Tayte's hands into each of his, and holds them, silent for a long time, his expression inscrutable except that he's studying hers. "Seems like I just complicated things, with that," he says, finally. "Shells, Tayte, I don't know. Sometimes it's easier when you start off with the sex and then become friends. 'least then you're not running into all of this." His nose wrinkles; it looks, for a moment, like he'd like to draw one hand back and scrub at his face again. He doesn't. Instead, "Vali needs to see us as only friends. She can't think of us as a matched pair, like in a traditional family. It hurt Nik too much, when Milani and I drifted apart." The woman looks for a moment like she might recoil, fingers tensing a little in his grip. But then, she doesn't. Instead, they stay joined with his, "Kas, I'm not-- I'm not going to talk you into something you don't want." She turns her head, as though she could see through the wall to where her daughter sleeps, "She's adopted you whether you or I want it or not. It would break her heart for me to try to do otherwise, and it would be one thing if I could say she would be happier, healthier, better, without you in her life, but obviously that's not the case." Her fingers squeeze the bronzerider's then as her eyes return to him, her look a little wistful. "And I wouldn't take her from you either," Does she need to say that she's aware how much he's come to care about her daughter? "But... Vali isn't Nik, Kas. I'm not trying to convince you now, really. You just need to understand that she's already been raised in a non-traditional way. She's never seen me with anyone, and I'm not sure she really has a concept of what romantic or sexual relationships are. She sees mommies and daddies who raise children together, but she's never been witness to something traditional." Hopefully he didn't plan on getting a word in edgewise, because this is something she apparently feels important she get all the way through, "Even if we did sleep together, she's not going to see something traditional, because you would have other lovers and so would I. And I wouldn't hide others from her, no creating that illusion. And if something did go wrong between us, it wouldn't be easy, I'm sure, but if we do this-- if you become her father, then that's forever. We'll be co-parents, no matter what." She draws in a deep breath. Done? Almost. "I just... wonder if we're not passing up a great thing because we know we have a good thing." Done. Really. She falls silent, watching him. K'del opens his mouth, ready to say something long before Tayte is actually finished. It stays open for some seconds, then closes again, though he's obviously waiting, anticipatory, for an opportunity to butt in and have his own say. And yet, by the time she falls silent, he seems to have lost the thread of his thoughts, because although he opens his mouth again, he hesitates before answering. "You're right," he says, finally. "Now I'm the one over-thinking. Just don't want to hurt her, Tay. I walked away from this Weyr when it needed me, and it's not something I ever intend to do again, but... Walked away from everything, at that point. What," his voice is abruptly hoarse, "if I do that again? Can I be trusted?" Her hands shift so she can trail individual fingers down the slope of his cupped palm, in small soothing strokes. Tayte's expression is gentle and a touched pained, as though it doesn't please her to say what she does next, "Life is messy, Kas. Chances are good that if you're alive, you're going to get hurt, and sometimes by the people who love most. And you're going to do your share of the hurting. Nothing is messier than love and family. But... I trust you to always want to do your best. And I trust that you'll have your days where your best isn't good enough, or when you're just too worn out to do it." Then she has a rueful soft laugh, "If I expected more than that out of a parent for Vali, I would have put her up for fostering." But she didn't, because she doesn't. And so here they are. She gingerly lifts one of his hands to place his palm lightly against her cheek, "I trust you, Kas, with myself and with her." The words are simple but the weight of the words is great. "Can you?" "I--" Words are failing K'del, now. His expression is wistful, and though there are no tears forming in the corners of his eyes (it seems he finally has gotten over that inclination, nearly two turns later), the emotion is difficult to miss. "I'll try," he says, finally, in a low voice, barely above a whisper. "Just..." Is that a smile, attempting to fight past his inclination to stay serious? "Don't die on me. Either of you. Or I'll hunt you down and murder you myself." There she was, looking all sweet and understanding, her breath even catching when he makes his demand. But his threat ruins all that. Her expression lights up as she laughs, a sound that further banishes some of the somberness of the moment. In her laughter, K'del's hand is allowed to drop away from her cheek. Then, suddenly, Tayte remembers there's a freshly to bed toddler in the other room, and with a squeeze of the hand she still holds in his lap, there's a moment of silence in which she listens intently, her eyes drawn toward the curve of the cavern. Nothing. She lets out a breath, smiling up at him. Despite all the levity of these moments, his words seem to need a more serious response. She looks quite serious as she begins, but the mischievous curl at the edge of her lips gives the game away before she finishes the question, "So, does that mean you do want to kiss me after all?" For all the tease she puts in just at the end, there's an element of uncertainty. She did say he was exceptionally hard for her to read. Did she read him wrong? K'del gives Tayte a mock-offended glance, as if to say 'I was being serious, you bitch', though he doesn't actually say the words out loud. That's before her sudden silence, though, when his own gaze darts towards the curve, and before her not-quite-serious response... which has his mouth twitching, at last. The hand in his lap is tugged on, just gently. "Come here and find out," he says, finally, abruptly determined in voice if not in action. The mocking look is greeted with only the laughter left in her eyes, so clearly taken in good spirits. As is so often the case, Tayte's form is trusting of and pliable toward whatever movement he encourages. It makes snuggling comfier when it's that way. She leans with the gentle tug, sliding closer to him after a pause in which her brain catches up with the words. For all that his words indicated another 'find out' scenario, there's no sense of testing or trying from Tayte. The woman is committed to the action, though she only comes close enough to invite him to make the same commitment instead of claim the kiss herself. She offers him the opportunity to yet change his mind, or reveal this all as a prelude to a joke. It's no joke. K'del might not be as comfortable, here and now, as he has been with potential lovers in the past - but he's committed. One arm curves around Tayte's shoulder; the other draws away from her hand so that he can slide it up against her cheek as he leans in to press his lips against hers. It's tentative, and faintly exploratory; he's not throwing himself into it, not immediately. As the kiss begins and it's nature is felt out, there's a decision to be made. Initially, this kiss doesn't seem any more promising than their first. But there are differences, differences in the circumstances, differences in her, at least. Tayte's kiss starts gently, her far hand slipping around the outside of his as it cups her face to slide her fingers around his neck. The hand that he'd been holding is left with nothing to hold, so it flattens against his thigh. She's not exactly feeling things out so much as pouring feeling into the kiss. Her lips encourage something with a little bit more energy, but not less tenderness. She doesn't seek to rush the kiss, but she is without reserves. If it's not found desirable this time, it can at least be said that Tayte took the chance. Trying without trying. It takes a few seconds before K'del feels-- what? Comfortable enough? Encouraged enough? Ready? Something. That's the point at which the kiss, from his end, begins to change: less uncertain, more heartfelt. Maybe, finally, the kind of kiss that isn't going to ruin his reputation as a decent kisser (and, for that matter, lover - though that is rather getting ahead of things). Descent kisser he can likely keep. Tayte doesn't look disappointed when she withdraws. There might be something more thoughtful to her look, but she has a small smile. Then leans back in for a quick follow-up kiss. "You should maybe remember to breathe," she advises quietly as she pulls back again, shrugging her shoulders a little. "And look, the world didn't crumble to bits around us. So that's a good sign right?" Nor did it shatter, though, so who knows how the future will hold. "Breathe?" K'del repeats the word almost as if he doesn't understand it, though, of course, he does - and a moment later he's smiling, releasing Tayte from his grasp, his hands dropping back towards his knees. "No crumbling; definitely a good sign. The fact that we stopped and aren't currently rolling around on the bed... Well." He smiles at her, his expression abruptly somewhat goofy, like the light-hearted teenager he must have been, once, before all the worries of the Weyr were placed on his shoulders. "There's time for that, too. No rush, right?" The hand that never left K'del's thigh slides neatly into one of the hands that's just gone to his lap, her hand sliding away from his neck, too, to completely disentangle them. His words prompt a touch of a blush, but determined not to let this moment get awkward, she stubbornly sets her lips in a teasing smile, "Kas," A beat, "I hate to break it to you, since I know you were used to girls panties hitting the floor when you walked by when you were Weyrleader, but even if you were now, I wouldn't be that kind of girl. I haven't rolled around on a bed with anyone but you in--" She does the calculation, easy since Vali's turnday is only sevens off, "Three turns and eight and a half months. I'm practically a virgin again. If you want in my pants," She quirks a challenging eyebrow, "You're going to have to work for it." The fact that she swoops in for another quick, teasing kiss that has her tongue flicking lightly across his lips probably belies her words a little bit. But with the fickle whimsy of women, who can know whether she speaks the truth or not? K'del's fingertips run idly over Tayte's hand - and he laughs. Any immediate answer he might have had is forestalled by that quick kiss, and afterwards, he can only grin at her again. "Guess that means I better get back into practice," he teases. "It'd do horrible things to my reputation if I failed that hard. But--" It's more serious, and has him squeezing her hand. "No rush. It happens, it doesn't happen; we'll see. But until then... there can be kisses." And now that he's come around to that... he seems quite pleased with the idea. "Good." Tayte says with a smile that seems, paired with the word, to answer every point he makes, the squeeze of the hand assuring him that the most serious has been received and that she is grateful for it. "I seem to recall now that I like kissing." She adds that after a faux-thoughtful moment. "But enough about that. There's plenty of time for kissing." It is, after all, the more frivolous topic (and that's saying a lot). "You were serious about wanting to become Vali's father? Even though she's not yours by blood?" She chews her lower lip. He might've made a teasingly sad remark about kisses being important, but that other topic really is important, and it stills that urge. K'del's nod is minute, barely visible, but his expression is abruptly serious. "If you're serious about letting me be, then - yes. I love kids, Tayte. Maybe she won't always feel like she needs or wants a father, but if she does... I always wanted a little girl. The blood doesn't matter. Not to me. And my boys... they were looking forward to having a younger siblings, when Io was pregnant. It's family for her. If you want it." "Family," Tayte echoes, breathing out slowly then. Rather than immediately pursue the topic, she rises, moving to stand before him, not letting go of his hand as she does, "Can I persuade you to stay the night?" Not that staying the night, snug under the furs of the bed is unheard of; there's a fairly regular exchange of body heat between his weyr and her room on different nights when neither is otherwise occupied and of a mind for company. "I think I need to tell you some more things. Things that are... hard for me. If we're to do this. To make sure you really know what you're getting into." Tayte is a complicated woman, that much should be abundantly clear by now. "I think it'd be easier for me to tell, wrapped safe in your arms. Also easier for me to tell if I'm running you off by telling. It's pretty telltale when someone throws you out of their arms and gets up to run." The last is made with a joking lilt, but overall, she's quite serious. K'del's gaze follows Tayte as she stands, though he makes no immediate move to follow her. He's already nodding his assent to her question when she continues, and though it doesn't change his answer (he keeps nodding), it does change his expression: he was already serious, and now he's more serious, perhaps even concerned, though it's definitely for Tayte, and not because of her. "Can't imagine there's anything you could say that'd make me run like that, Tay, but if that's how you want to be, when you tell me, then that's acceptable-- then that's fine." He squeezes her hand, gently. "Fine," Tay echoes again with a little laugh, quiet this time in deference to her previous mistake, "You'll overwhelm me with your choice of words, Wingsecond." She teases. Then she turns to the task of readying herself for bed. K'del will have a little wait as it inevitably takes the vintner longer to be prepared to slide into the bed. At least this time, she saves the hair braiding for once she's in the bed. She has a ribbon and her brush on hand, taking the brush through her tresses as she starts to address. "It's sort of all about Yvalia's family." She starts with a blush. So promising. "First, you should be aware that while I don't know exactly who Vali's blood father is, I have an idea of several of the men it could be. Some of those men and some that it couldn't have been have been interested in claiming Vali. Mostly, I think, to further their pursuit of me." She chews her lower lip, "Some have been... persistent. It's..." She stops brushing to reach her hand into her hair self-consciously, "It's part of the reason I left Ista. It got kind of... bad." She sounds embarrassed, and awkward as she says it, glancing over at him. Is he running yet? He's not running. He's sitting in bed, his back supported by the pillows, his body turned so that he can look at her without turning his head. In the dim light of the glows, his expression is thoughtful, but though his brow has furrowed and his mouth tightened, it's pretty evident that he's thinking of her, and not himself. "If this were a less serious conversation," he tells her, "I'd make a joke about now about the evident power of what you keep between your legs. But..." He shakes his head, and makes a face, reaching instead to rest his hand on her leg, above the covers. Not a sexual gesture, not even close. "Being chased like that... I'm sorry. On behalf of my gender, and just in general. Shouldn't be like that. Has the distance helped?" "If this were a less serious conversation," Tayte returns with a hint of a smile, "I'd make a joke about how you might get to find out for yourself someday, if you get back into practice." But it isn't, so these farces will have to suffice. "It's helped." She says with a firm nod. "And the one that is here was never a problem. I just can't guarantee that it won't follow me here. And if you're Vali's father, and especially if you're privy to the secret power of my loins," The tease sneaks in, "You're almost certain to have have to deal with it somehow, some way," she chews her lower lip, "Is that-- are you sure that's something you're willing to accept?" The corner of K'del's mouth twitches up a bit, a smile that doesn't fully blossom into being. He nods, timing it for partway through Tayte's words, though it's followed up by a nod that's much more firm, much more determined as she finishes. "Yes," he says. "Of course. If you're lucky, my presence'll deter some of them, at least a bit. If it comes to that. And... maybe it won't, not ever. You're out of their reach, now, more or less. They'll move on, focus on other women. It'll be okay, Tayte. Whatever happens." She lets out a slow breath and then swift fingers divide her hair into three parts and construct a loose braid, tying it off with a ribbon at the end. Tayte leans to put the brush on the nightstand and further cover the glow basket that's there, dimming it down, as though for sleep, but there's a sense that there's more. She slides closer to K'del, situating herself close to him, "The next part's... the hard part. I-- really hope you don't-- judge me for it." Once eyes adjust to the new level of dim, surely her nervous lip-chewing can be seen. As she sidles in, K'del drapes his arm around Tayte, encircling her within the both of them. "Can't promise that I won't, though I very much doubt I will. Not like I've never made mistakes, or done things I'm not proud of. Know I hate being judged for them... why would I judge you? It's fine, Tayte. Just tell me." He gives her a squeeze, one that is obviously intended to be comforting. "It's... family." As the last point began. Tayte burrows closer, not looking at him as she instead presses her cheek to his chest, taking comfort in the circle of his arms. "I was raised with holder values. My parents..." Were holders, she's already told him that. Her foster parents whom she professed to have such happy memories with and was so close to, "My fosterparents," in case it needs clarification. "They always thought of non-traditional joinings and the resulting children as sort of wayward. And they expected we'd grow up with those same values. So when I found out I was pregnant..." Does she need to say aloud the fact that her parents know nothing of Yvalia? That when she told him it was just she and Yvalia, she meant that it was just she and Yvalia. That her daughter has never known family beyond Tayte. Her expression, should he tilt his head (or hers) to look, is ashamed and embarrassed, curled all the closer for the feeling of the emotion K'del's reaction, if he has one, to Tayte's explanation, is not visible. He watches her without comment, and without alteration to his expression, until she's finished-- at which point he draws his hand up, aiming to turn her head towards his, so that he can meet her gaze squarely. "Can't judge you for that," he says, simply. "Can't blame you, either. 's not like you're the first to end up without extended family; not like you'll be the last. You made the decision that was best for you, and made it with the best interests of your daughter at heart, I imagine. What's there to judge?" "Well, that's just it." K'del's acceptance is met with a sigh from the Istan blonde, her head drawn easily to look at him before he spoke. "I've never been sure if I did it for her or for me. She would have been fine. They would have loved her. They probably would have wanted to foster her, but..." She shakes her head, "I didn't want to give her up. And I didn't want them to cast me out." Emotionally, if not physically. "I was already alone in all of it, and I couldn't handle-- I wasn't strong enough to lose them, too." Her voice is so quiet as she says this, her body trembling. Her weakness, that's what is to judge. Unflinching, K'del meets her gaze. "Would you go and see them now?" he wonders. "With the distance of a few turns? Not that I'm pressuring you to do so, mind; just curious. I think... we all have our weaknesses, Tayte. I ran from this Weyr, you hid from your family. You did what you thought you had to-- and so did I. Who of us can say otherwise?" He strokes her cheek with the tips of his fingers, and gives her a tentative smile. "I think... I think they would still shut me out." Tayte answers, but the trembling subsides in the face of his continued support and acceptance. "Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to face that." But not yet. Tentative smile is met by a movement of her lips to his, seeking comfort in a kiss. That might not be the topic at hand, but having that added connection with him seems to help her, comfort her, calm her. Pulling back moments later, though still staying close, she murmurs, "I just didn't want you to be surprised, since I'm sure-- I'm sure someday it will come up." But now all the Big Things are out in the open, and he's not made a move for the door. "There's probably lots of other things we'll need to talk about, agree about, not agree about..." She says then, with a little shrug, "But, you know why I never let one of those men back in Ista claim her?" K'del returns that kiss without hesitation, and even after she pulls back, his hand plays with her hair, her cheek, the rim of her ear. "There's no rush," he comments, idly, harking back to her first point; for the rest, he simply nods, squeezing her shoulder. "Pretty sure we can work it all out, as we need to. Definitely not my intention to tell you how to parent, or to interrupt anything you have; we'll see. But - no, why didn't you?" "I couldn't fathom the idea of raising my daughter with any of them." It's the obvious answer, but the truth. "With you," She hesitates only a moment before simply saying, "It comes naturally. Everything seems to." Well, except the whole kissing thing, but that might've just been over-thinking from both of them. It remains to be seen. "Kas," Tayte shifts a little bit so she can see him better, "Will you be Yvalia's father?" It might seem formal, but she's serious. "Be our family?" It's an obvious answer, perhaps, but one that makes K'del smile... even if something in his expression twitches at her comment of things coming naturally. Perhaps he is thinking of those kisses. Or perhaps it's something else. As she shifts, however, his expression turns serious-- serious, until he begins to smile again. "I will," he says, quietly earnest. "You know I will." "Good, then." Matter settled, and there's warmth back in her smile for the answer. "Now we can curl up and go to sleep." And as with so many other nights, Tayte fixes to do just that, with one new addition to the routine: a good night kiss. |
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