Logs:The Death of a Healer
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| RL Date: 10 March, 2013 |
| Who: Delifa, Delvana, E'lif, L'van, Madilla |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Delifa's illness finally comes to an end. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr / Southern Weyr |
| When: Day 15, Month 3, Turn 31 - Day 20, Month 3, Turn 31 |
| Mentions: B'tal/Mentions, Iolene/Mentions, Satiet/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Only a little angsty, I swear. |
| She was deeply asleep. It was late, and the storm had only gotten heavier, and the burrow of quilts she'd curled herself into was cosily warm-- but there was a knocking, somewhere, and it seemed determined to pull her away from her (actually very pleasant) dreams. She woke with a start, realising only belatedly that there really was a pounding on the door, and that she was lucky the children weren't awake (hopefully). She grabbed for her shawl, wrapping it around her nightgown covered shoulders, and headed for the door. One look at the grim-faced rider on the other side told her everything she needed to know. Delifa's cousin E'lif looked so pale, so tired. "She's gone," she said. "Nearly," he replied. "Can you come? L'van--" "I'll come." It didn't take long to dress. It took longer to figure out what to do with the children, but a sleepy, wide-eyed Lily came out of the bedroom a moment later. "Mama?" She put her back to bed, asking her to be a big girl (eight! so old!), and look after Dee, and help him get up in the morning. "Aunty Kalinna next door will come in and help you. You'll let her in, won't you? And go and get her, if you need help." Lily promised faithfully, trembling. And yet: "Can't we come with you, Mama? We'll be good." "Not this time," Madilla said, stroking her daughter's dark curls. "I need you to look after things here. I'll see you tomorrow, I promise." She wrote a note for Kalinna, sliding it under the other woman's door. She was always up early - she'd see it long before either of the children were awake. It would have to do. Outside, the storm was still raging, heavy snows making walking even the short distance to brown Gevralth treacherous. E'lif helped her up, and they rose up through the snowy skies, and disappeared Between. It was three hours later, at Southern, and the sun was already beginning to rise over the Weyr: another beautiful day in paradise. E'lif and Gevralth dropped her off just outside the cottage where L'van and Delifa lived, where Viarisuth sat staring so focusedly. "We're going to bring all the family down, later," E'lif said before departing. "Should I bring the kids?" She nodded, not sure if it was the right answer. It felt like the easiest answer. They sat with her until the end: Madilla, L'van and Delvana. Delvana kept falling asleep, and forcing herself back awake, unwilling to miss saying that one, final goodbye. Delifa was no longer conscious, though, and Madilla doubted she could hear anything they said to her-- though they spoke to her constantly. It was still early when the healer breathed her last. For a long time, none of them knew what to do or say: they sat there, unwilling to move, unwilling to break the silence that had suddenly descended upon them. It was Vana who broke it-- who suddenly threw herself at her mother and began to sob. L'van picked her up, holding her bodily against him as she cried and cried. L'van put her to bed, holding until she slept. Madilla slipped outside, feeling the warm ground beneath her bare feet, the sun on her shoulders. She felt-- she had no idea how she felt. It was different, this time. It wasn't like when Iolene died, or when B'tal died, or Satiet. It was, perhaps, the most like Satiet-- but only in a way. It was different. Certainly, she'd sat beside many patients as they took their final breaths, but none of them had been... Delifa. It was hard to get her head around this idea, that she lived in a world where Delifa did not. She waded out into the ocean, feeling the cool water flow over her bare legs, through her skirts. She was tired - exhausted - but wired, too. It was over. She'd dreaded this day for well over a turn, and now it was here, and-- and life had to go on. It was Delvana she worried about most. Ten-and-a-half and already acting like a teenager; how would she cope? How would L'van cope? It was easiest not to think about how she would cope. What did she have to complain about? She'd had Delifa for fifteen turns and more, and the older healer had not been mother or lover or anything so close. Just mentor. Just... friend. Everyone else came at lunch time. By then, things were tidied away; cleaned. They'd taken Delifa's body between, Madilla and L'van and Viarisuth. She'd stripped the bed, sent the sheets to be cleaned, packed away all the medications. It felt easier, somehow, to have all the family around. They'd always made Madilla feel at home, and though she'd worried about it, no one seemed to mind that she had been there when their sister/cousin/aunt had died, and they had not. It helped having Lily lean her head upon her shoulder, too, and Dee squirm in her lap. It helped when Delvana sat down beside her, and hugged her so tightly. They talked through the evening. The children fell asleep, one after another, and Madilla knew she ought to be exhausted, but somehow she couldn't find it in herself to rest-- there were stories to tell, new ones and old. Delifa the child. Delifa the Apprentice. Delifa's exploits with L'van. Eliva. "Stay," said L'van, as the others began to pack up for home. "Please, Madilla. Just a day or two. Spend some time with us." So they stayed. It was easy, in some ways, and hard in others. It had been some time - too long - since she'd taken a proper holiday with the children (was it really as long ago as when B'tal died, nearly five turns?), and even if this one was... it was nice, in a way, to escape the High Reaches winter. She knew it was good, that she could be here for L'van and Delvana, both of whom seemed so lost. But she missed home. She worried about her Infirmary (and when had she started feeling so possessive about it?), and about the people she cared about and for. "Will you move back?" she asked L'van, as they sat outside in the cool evening, sharing a skin of white, on the fourth evening. "I can't think about it, yet. There are so many memories, here and there. There's family, there, but-- do I want Vana growing up in a weyr, where she can't come and go as she pleases? She's getting too old to want that, and here... we have freedom, here. She's made friends." Madilla nodded. "But I don't know how to raise a daughter on my own. I don't know how you manage it." "You learn. You make do. You figure things out. L'van, you'll be fine." He shook his head. "I don't know what to do without her. I don't know what to say to Vana; she's hurting, and I've got nothing." Madilla gave him a long, probing glance. "I'll invite her to come and stay with us, in a few months, if you like. I'll talk to her. But you need to talk to her, too. Tell her how you feel. She needs you, L'van. She needs to know she's not alone." "You're leaving." Delvana had scarcely said a word, these past five days, but now her tone was accusatory. "I have to, Vana. We have to go home. We've been away too long already. People need me." "I need you." She sounded petulant, eerily like a teenager though she was surely still too young for that. "Your father needs you, too. Maybe you can come and stay with us, in a few months." "I want to come with you now." Madilla put down the clothes she'd been folding, and crossed towards the pre-teen, putting her arms around her tightly. "I know you do. But if you come with us, what will your father do, Vana? He'd miss you so much." "He should come, too." "It's not quite that simple. But if you really want to move back to High Reaches, you should talk to him. Tell him. The two of you can decide together." Delvana began to cry, burying her face into Madilla's shoulder. "I want my Mama," she said, between sobs. "I don't want you to leave me as well." It was a relief to be home again. It hurt, too. It was hard to sit at the desk that had once been Delifa's, and not think of her. It was hard to walk past the doorway in the resident's corridor that had once belonged to her, and not think about all of the times they'd had tea together, there. It was hard to think that they would never have tea together again. But it was good to be home. Word spreads on the morning of the fifteenth day of month three that former Weyrhealer Delifa has finally lost her battle with the illness she has been fighting for the past turn and a half at least. Current Weyrhealer Madilla allegedly left during the night to be with her one-time mentor; word is that she expects to be gone for several days at least, and that her children will be joining her. Delifa leaves behind her weyrmate, L'van, rider of blue Viarisuth, one of High Reaches and presently of Southern Weyr, as well as a daughter, Delvana, aged ten. |
Comments
H'kon (H'kon (talk)) left a comment on Mon, 11 Mar 2013 19:39:26 GMT.
< Death's always a little angsty.
This was very good.
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Tue, 12 Mar 2013 04:12:24 GMT.
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This was layered in such a way that was just... fantastic. Really good read.
Madilla (K'del (talk)) left a comment on Tue, 12 Mar 2013 06:46:06 GMT.
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<3 (You guys are great for my ego~)
Zian (Zian (talk)) left a comment on Tue, 12 Mar 2013 17:37:01 GMT.
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This was great and also so, so sad.
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