Logs:Something (Not So) Light
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| RL Date: 26 September, 2013 |
| Who: K'del, Tayte |
| Type: Log |
| What: A light evening between friends takes an emotional turn when K'del tells Tayte that Ali's pregnant. |
| Where: Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 26, Month 11, Turn 32 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Ali/Mentions, H'vier/Mentions, Jeyli/Mentions, J'tel/Mentions, Jo/Mentions, Kasey/Mentions, Nikalas/Mentions, Tatayana/Mentions, Yvalia/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Back-dated and played via gdocs. The gdoc was entitled 'Something Light' as an intention. Our characters were uncooperative. |
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| Tayte's Room, High Reaches Weyr The peculiar shape of this room suggests that it was unintentionally expanded, cement holding the ceiling together towards the peculiarly shaped alcove build into the back corner. It's larger than most personal quarters as a result, and though the uneven walls mean nothing sits flush, there's plenty of room for more than the usual amount of furniture. The larger lobe of the lopsided kidney shape that the room has might be considered a studio room. A large bed is tucked into the roundest part of the alcove, though there's a gap behind where the straight headboard does not meet the wall. It's piled high with furs and pillows. In this curve there's also a wardrobe, a dresser, and nightstands. Hooks extending from the ceiling over the dresser have been rigged with two layered chain-link that holds a number of bottles of alcohol of different varieties. The highest drawer in the dresser which is bizarrely the largest locks with a key. Opposite it, closer to the door, is a hearth that's had a throw rug and loveseat set in front of it, along with a few low tables. A set of shelves and a small desk sit opposite the curve of the smaller end of the room. Around the curve and into the little lobe, one finds a great change. There's color everywhere instead of the muted things in the front half. Scarves and streamers hang from little hooks installed in the ceiling, their lengths varying, and a crib is set up in the middle with two small boxes that have toys poking out of their not-quite-shut lids. There's a tall table stocked with all the tools a mother needs (well, those that are safe to be at toddler height) and a small dresser and wardrobe. The furniture is all hand-me-downs but in decent enough condition to make the occupants comfortable. It had been prearranged that K'del would stop by that evening to tuck Yvalia in. They'd managed to wean her down to only the occasional tuck in instead of requiring K'del to bend over backwards to accommodate the four turn old's bedtime in his busy schedule. Things for the family were finding some kind of normal, even if there were still moments that were anything but. With Yvalia safely tucked in, and K'del not needing to be gone so soon, Tayte invited him to stay for a drink. Tonight's a night for wine, and of that, Tayte has the good stuff. She deferred to his preference for color, and chose the vintage herself. Now handing over a healthily portioned glass, she slides in beside him on the loveseat. "I wonder if I shouldn't still get a couch in case we have any more rashes of nightmares." She muses as she settles, "I do so love my loveseat, but a couch would save anyone from getting the wrong idea if they happened by once we'd gone to bed." She lets one hand float along the armrest thoughtfully before, "I think I'd have one commissioned though. Not just repaired. What do you think, Kas?" Ocean blues flick to his lighter ones, silencing her own prattle with the lip of her wine glass. K'del's preference is for white, generally, but in deference to the chilly evening, he's selected red, and even seems to appreciate the vintage (despite his background and despite his hobby, he's never been a wine aficionado). "You could get something nicer, if you got it commissioned," he agrees, stretching out his long legs across the throw-rug. "Or you could just get a mattress and store it up against a wall, behind something, when it isn't needed. Or just a bedroll or something, even. If you don't want to take up the space. Or the marks. Furniture can be expensive." He would know: he's probably admitted, once upon a time, that most of the furniture in his Weyr was made especially for it. Of course Tayte picked something from Tillek just for him. A taste of home. She's thoughtful that way. "The couch seems more practical and less tell-tale than a mattress. The people I can think of that might be concerned with what happens behind this closed door might not be convinced by the presence of a mattress or bedroll, and I'd like you to at least be comfortable, since clearly I'm not taking the bedroll," Her tone flips to a playfully haughty one, but it doesn't last through the warmly amused smile she gives him. "I've been meaning to ask, but wasn't sure if it was alright if I did-- just, as a friend, how are things going with Ali?" There's a touch of nervousness to her look as she poses the question, but no sign of jealousy or anything else that would sound warning bells. And of course K'del had to inspect the bottle, though no, it doesn't come from grapes his family grew. "Are you thinking about someone in par--" But K'del's distracted from that thought, because Tayte's already moved on and asked that question, and it's not exactly one the bronzerider can ignore. His cheeks go ever so faintly pink, but his answer, when it comes, is easy enough. "Things are good," he admits, running his free hand through his short-cropped curls. "It's hard, of course, living in two different places. Even with a dragon, it's not like you can just travel at a moment's notice, constantly. And she's busy, of course." So's he. "But... we're managing, I guess." His gaze studies her, awkward, and waiting for a reaction. "H'vier." Tayte answers the half-asked question, waving a hand to dismiss it even she says it. Because, let's talk about K'del. No need to get into the whole 'wasn't that over and done with when he called her a whore?' business that he's no doubt gotten the story of at some point in the past sevens since. Moving on. She smiles pleasantly. Maybe it's not wholly genuine, but she's trying, quite hard, to be more than okay with everything, to be a friend; a best-friend. "That's good. I mean that things are good. Not that you're both busy or that living in two different places makes it difficult. It wasn't great when I was in Southern and Havi was here, but he managed to get down fairly regularly. Though, I didn't have more than knitting to keep me occupied. And then it was mostly socks or baby things--" She's happened across unpleasant territory and is babbling anyway, and realizes it. She quiets herself with a sip of wine before renewing her effort to smile. "I'm glad you're happy." This much, at least, she doesn't have to fake at all. Mention of the other bronzerider has K'del making a face, but he's quick to abandon that... even if the other topic is not a whole bunch more comfortable, in the end. "She's..." He hesitates. "It's not really common knowledge, and please don't tell anyone, but I feel like I need to tell you outright, because I don't want..." Her to find out accidentally. "She's pregnant." And he seems terribly guilty because of it, watching for her reaction in a tense, awful kind of way. This time, Tayte tenses. It's not a reaction she can hide, but at least she doesn't snap the stem of her wineglass. She does however, quickly set it aside on an end table as a precaution. Her expression is frozen for a moment as she processes. It takes her longer than it probably should, but in light of the events in the last six months, perhaps that's not surprising. Her next reaction contradicts her words. She can't help how somehow there end up being tears in her eyes, hurriedly wiped as they run down her cheeks, "That's wonderful," she says meaningfully. And while these are no tears of joy that are silently making their escapes, the pair of words sound heart-felt. "Really," She does feel the need to add as her fingers repeat the brushing motion and she's rising to her feet, slippers carrying her swiftly over to one of her dressers (not the booze one), and opening one of the slender top drawers to find a handkerchief. Action is a welcome distraction. It's not an unexpected reaction, and yet K'del winces anyway, closing his eyes for a moment and then seeming to will them back open: to watch. "Tay, I'm sorry," he says, and it's obvious that he means 'sorry for making you cry' and not 'sorry that my girlfriend is pregnant'. "I mean... yes, it is wonderful, and yes we're both really happy about it, but I'm still..." He stops. What else can he say, really? "It's not your fault," Tayte's quick to assure as she dabs the handkerchief to her face, though she's padding back over before she says more lest the need for a raised voice cause Yvalia to wake. She's still dabbing when she settles back in. "It's just timing. Babies. Pregnancy. It makes me cry. That's not your fault. It's just that -- becoming pregnant and being so horrified, and then discovering I wanted the baby, and then the baby dying and everything else becoming so messed up in my love life, so much that I can't even think about having another child even though I know now that I want one, it's..." She spreads the handkerchief under her eyes to catch the tears before they get too far, giving her a veiled look, blue eyes a stark contrast to the cream of the fabric. "I'm really happy for you. It's great that things are going so well, and as you'd like them to." This is what she chooses to end with, because this is what's important, right? She's being a supportive friend. K'del, too, is being a supportive friend, reaching out one arm to offer a sideways hug if she'd like it. "I know," he says, simply, a statement that may well answer several of the things she's said. Then, very quietly: "Remember what it was like, when Io... things changed a lot, after that. Maybe it's not surprising; I don't know. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you do get another chance." He doesn't, perhaps deliberately, comment on Tayte's love life. Tayte slides into the one-armed hug, really trying to get those tears under control, though the try is largely an internal thing, and with most of her face 'veiled', it's hard to even guess at the process. There's a lot of blinking involved. She must hear him, his words, and on some level, she must appreciate the sharing of these difficult things, the memory of Iolene and what it was like for her, and for them. Only, now's not a moment when she can properly express appreciation for that shared memory because even though he's not commenting on her love life, she's saying, "You want to hear something really funny?" The way she says 'really funny' promises that it's not going to be funny. Probably more like awkward and maybe uncomfortable. "I tried to patch things up with H'vier, again, and he told me I should be with you. Or someone like you. He wants me but doesn't. You don't--" She stops herself on that thought and says in a way that suggests she's telling herself more than she's telling him, "We're not like that," She laughs then, "Even Jo isn't trying to convince me I ought to keep sleeping with her. Which, I mean, it's nice that she's respecting my choices, but Faranth's first egg, what does a pretty girl have to do in this place to have someone want her?" All of that, and then, of course, the inevitable sobbing that mingles with laughter at random intervals. Maybe Tayte's lost it. She really didn't have enough wine to be like this because of that. What can K'del say to that? What can he do? What he does do, rightly or wrongly, is set down his wine glass and then reach to try and draw Tayte against him, and hold her there. If she needs to sob, he's here to be a receptacle of those sobs, for as long as she needs him. It turns out that gathering her in is more right than wrong. She comes willingly, legs drawing up and curling against the bronzerider, the handkerchief sliding up to bury her face in. Maybe it's easier for Tayte not to be seen just now. There's a moment where it seems like it might be stopping, and the woman's voice comes again, punctuated by ragged breaths and little hiccup-sobs, "H'vier thinks he's a terrible person. And he's really an asshole, a lot. Sometimes he's really wonderful, but he's also an asshole. And he thinks I deserve someone better than him, but do I deserve to be alone if no one better has an interest in me?" This is probably not the kind of defense a maybe-sort-of-or-once-was-girlfriend should be giving to the guy she cares about, but this is Tayte and he's H'vier, and here's some honesty. "When he's wonderful, it's wonderful. When he's an asshole, it sucks. Only, even then I don't not care about him, or not want to be with him for the moments when it is wonderful." Although, after what she said, it might beg the question that if there were another option, would she want to be with him through the sucky times? Then there's more sobbing, but it's quieter now, no more inappropriate bursts of laughter, and the hiccups are equaling out the sobs in dominance. Does K'del want to hear all about H'vier, and in particular, about the relationship between Tayte and H'vier? Almost certainly not. Does he listen nonetheless? Yes. That's because he's a nice guy (unlike H'vier, apparently). "You deserve someone who-- ah, shells, Tayte. If H'vier makes you happy, then you should be with him, and you should kick him in the ass until he sees sense." It must pain K'del to say that, but he says it anyway. "It'll work out. One way or another. Got faith in that." And then, a moment later: "Need a glass of water or something?" Tayte shifts against him, moving so she can pull back enough to really look at him. Her lip still wobbles with certain breaths, but now there's no sobs, just hiccups ever handful of seconds. "I deserve someone who what?" Her tone is demanding, not loud, just insistent. What was he going to say before all of that about H'vier. As for the water? She doesn't answer. Probably because she doesn't have any intention of letting K'del get up or do anything else until he's answered her question. "Someone good for you. Someone who cares, and treats you properly, and isn't a stupid ass more often than not." K'del's probably talking about H'vier, but it's not too far off the mark that he could be talking about himself, too. "You deserve better, Tayte. You do." It's not, in the end, a terribly difficult question to answer, and it's undeniably genuine. "Where are these someones?" Tayte asks then with a sigh, shifting again so she can fall back against him dramatically. "I don't think they really exist. Only in Harper stories." But she seems to be about done throwing herself a pity party. "Water would be good." She says sheepishly in the wake of another hiccup, sitting up again so it's easier for him to get up and head for the water pitcher. "Will you tell Vali when the time is right? I'm sure she'd be excited to have a younger sibling. She talks about her brothers a lot, you know. I'm not sure she really understands anything they talk about when they cross paths, but it's nice that they're kind to her. She likes just having them." She manages a small curl of her lips for that. K'del doesn't have an answer to that first: just a squeeze of her shoulders before he disentangles himself to go fetch a glass of water for the Vintner. "Of course," he confirms. "Her little sister or brother... I'm glad she cares about them. They care about her, too. They like having a little sister. Nik's got an older one, but it's not the same, I guess. Siblings are - well, I've always been glad I've had mine." He offers over the glass, settling back onto the loveseat and, finally, reclaiming his wine. "Weyr families get more complicated," he says, musingly. "But I like them. There's room for everyone." "Siblings," Tayte starts, making a face that wrinkles her nose and scrunches her eyes and lips, "Are a pain that no one should be without." Pain in the affectionate sense of the word. "I'm glad Vali-" She starts and then has to bite her lip, hard. Then a complete change of topic is in order. "I've been thinking of going to Igen. To track down my birth parents. I know you've got a lot of things going on, but do you think sometime you'd be willing to help me with that? Give me a ride, ask my hero," Cadejoth, "To ask around after their dragons?" She reaches up to run fingers through her hair, something of a habit when she's nervous, K'del's bound to have noticed in the time of their acquaintance. K'del is likely all set to agree with that first remark of Tayte's, but any reaction he was intending falters when she stops like that; he winces, awkward, but also relieved when she's so quickly able to redirect her thoughts to a new topic. His gaze drops to his wineglass, and to sipping from it, but there's every indication that he's listening. There's every indication, too, that he's seen her fingers, or at least registered the movement of it, despite where his gaze is lingering. "Of course," he says, promptly. "Of course I will. We will. If it's something you want to do, we'll be there to support you." "Good. Thanks." Tayte answers quickly, letting her hands fall away from her hair and she reaches for her wineglass. She shifts on the seat so she's now angled toward him, leaning back into the curve where arm meets back of the seat. "I'm really not sure where to start. All I know is names and dragon names and colors. Do you think that's enough to work with? I mean, they'd be in the records there if they're not still there, right?" "With dragon names, well, that's easy. It'd be in the records, but shells, Cadejoth could probably track them down just by attempting to seek them out." K'del, too, shifts, attempting to arrange his legs so that they don't get in the way while still allowing his angle to be towards the Vintner. "But sure, they'd be in the records. We kept a file on transfers in and out-- still do, I imagine, but while I was Weyrleader, I mean." "Is it? Do you think so? Even if I -- don't know that I'm saying them right? I've never heard them from anyone who knew how they're actually said. I'm not sure how it works with dragons." His words do have Tayte contemplating that records may not be necessary. "It seems like it'd be sort of silly to just go sit around their living cavern and ask if anyone knows them until I find someone who does." She chews her lower lip, "I've never even been to Igen. Maybe that's the first place to start. Just a trip to see the place." It's not the last they discuss of the matter as there's what-if's a-plenty to keep them off more sensitive topics and it allows more of what's needed most: just two friends finding equilibrium. |
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