Logs:Trying
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| RL Date: 8 January, 2010 |
| Who: Gabrion, Madilla |
| Type: Log |
| What: Gabrion comes to Madilla for help. She offers help of a different kind. |
| Where: Infirmary, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 9, Month 9, Turn 21 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Delifa/Mentions |
| Infirmary, High Reaches Weyr Two sets of double doors, one from the the inner caverns and a recently built set from the dragon infirmary, lead into the unnaturally hushed human infirmary. Despite fastidious cleaning, the scent of redwort and numbweed has long since soaked into every smooth-carved surface, along with other, subtler medicinal smells. Pristinely made cots are lined up against the walls; most of them are left open to view, but some in the back are surrounded by curtains for delicate procedures or critical patients. About halfway between the two entrances is the counter for the healers on duty; it guards the entrance to the storage rooms just beyond, their shelves and cabinets lined with meticulously labeled bottles, boxes, jars, and even vats of supplies. The Weyrhealer's office is also here, along with another side room for mixing up medicines and the like. Time for the lunch break. Today most of the apprentices are scheduled to take their break at the same time. As everyone is collecting their jackets and getting ready to head out, Gabe sidles up to Madilla and hisses to get her attention. "Hey. Madilla. I need to talk to you," he says quietly, and jerks his head toward one of the empty offices. Madilla does not, entirely, look unsurprised, as though she's been anticipating something along these lines; she bobs her head into a slow nod, giving Gabrion a lingering concerned look. She's quick to move, though, gathering up some papers she obviously intended to take with her and then hurrying on towards the office without another glance at the other apprentice. Inside, she leans up against the desk, turning around, her breath sucked in cautiously. Gabrion looks both ways to make sure nobody's seen them, and then carefully shuts the door. "I talked to her," he says grimly, leaning a shoulder against the wall. "Gah. I can't believe... did she tell you she wasn't drinking the tea?" he asks, scowling. "I am so hosed." Sympathy floods Madilla's expression, though she clutches her papers closer to her chest all the same, and bypasses the actual question. "No, you're not. It's /not/ the end of the world." Beat. Then, ruefully, "If /I/ were pregnant? Maybe. But-- you could talk to Delifa. I /bet/ she'd be okay with it, if you were honest, and we just... worked it all out." She seems very earnest about this, utterly convinced that this would fix things. "She totally lied to me." Gabrion isn't willing to move past how angry he is quite so easily. "I can't believe her. Just... augh! I've got a thing or two to tell her, and then..." he breaks off and scowls again. His expression softens a little bit as he looks back at Madilla again. "You seriously think so? I mean, I don't know. She likes me okay I guess but... shardit, nothing ever goes right! And I always wind up looking like such a fuckup. Even if Delifa doesn't care, the hall will. And there's - anybody could tell, if people /know/. I thought, though, I thought if I could get Gev to say it's his, and we could change the chart, then... you know. Nobody would have to know." Madilla bites at her lip, nodding unhappily as Gabrion continues with her anger. "I can't imagine how it must feel," she admits, after he finishes, but she's shaking her head, too: "I won't lie for you, Gabrion. If you must change it, I won't... tell. But I won't change it myself. It's-- I think that would go against my oath." The one they all take. "We're going to work it out, Gabrion. We /are/." "How would it go against our oath?" Gabrion argues. "We're supposed to help, not harm. Nobody gets hurt if it's changed, and I could lose my apprenticeship for good if it stays in there." He shoves his hands into his pockets. "I worked too hard to let her fuck this up for me. I'm going to ace those exams, Madilla, I'm telling you." Madilla lets out a few careful breaths, her eyes closing. "It would be a lie," she says. "And it would her Jess. I know she lied to you, and nothing will excuse that, but... She says you're the father. She'll probably keep saying that." She's worrying at her lip again, letting out long breaths. "Not once I talk to her," Gabe says with a flash of determination in his eyes. "She wants me to get us a room so she can play cothold. Well. Once she's clear that /that/ isn't happening. Then we can work it out so... ah, shells. I'm probably gonna have to tell Delifa, any way you slice it. Do you really think she won't tell on me? I mean, she already had to write the hall just to get them to take me back, and..." he bites his lips and looks like he might /cry/. "I don't know if she really likes me that much, you know? /That/ obviously doesn't please Madilla, because her head rises, and her expression is distinctly unhappy-- if not outright argumentative. "Don't be cruel to her, Gabrion. She may not know it yet, but this isn't going to be easy for her. She's... I feel for her." Her voice sounds more certain as she continues, firm, even authoritative. "We'll go and see her together, then." Even Madilla, after all, couldn't argue that she's not Delifa's favourite. "You feel for her!" The hurt and anger in Gabrion's face suggests he sees that as a personal betrayal. "Madilla, she's trying to mess up my whole life just so she can... I don't even know what." He sets his jaw, stubborn. "Are you sure? I mean, she could just kick me out right this second." Madilla, at least, is not visibly upset by this reaction to a perceived slight at her hand. Her voice is soft as she answers, and there's feeling to it: "I feel for you, too, Gabrion. Don't doubt that. I think it's awful what's happened, and I think she was wrong to do it... but she has a hard road ahead of her." She takes a deep breath before she continues, but she seems certain enough: "I'm sure. I don't think she'd ever do that. But... it's up to you, of course. I won't stop you from doing anything." Gabrion kicks at the wall with his heel. "I never should have bothered trying," he says bitterly. "I should have known something like this would happen. It always does." He folds his arms across his chest, leans against the wall, and glares across the room, past Madilla. Frowning; "Trying?" She gives Gabrion a curious look. "What... what were you trying to do, Gabrion? I never did entirely understand. I thought you were... like W'chek. And B'tal." "Trying to be a healer," Gabe clarifies, still scowling. He's in full on sulk mode. He does start to answer the question though. "I was... it was..." Finding himself unable to explain, he just shakes his head. "You wouldn't understand. You don't know what it's like," he says, spitting the words out like they were something rotten. "Even here - people don't care as much but you're still something /other/ than... I just, I just wanted to feel normal. Like a normal guy." He turns his back on Madilla and leans his head on his arms, hiding his face against the wall. Madilla's mistake makes her blush, though she nods her head, all the same, understanding-- even if, by her expression, she doesn't agree. "I understand," she murmurs. "More than you'd think. Can you imagine how hard it is, people laughing because you..." she waves a hand at herself. "Don't believe in the same things they do. Want something different? You are a normal guy, though... and I'm a normal girl. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Beat. "I wish more people would understand that. You're a good healer, Gabrion, and you're a nice person. And I don't want you giving up yet. You'll see. We'll fix it." Nothing to be ashamed of. Gabe's response to that is a disbelieving snort. "/You're/ the good healer, I'm just..." He huffs out a breath, and rubs his sleeve across his face. Then he leans against the wall and shakes his head. "I wish it would all just /stop/. I wish I could go back to being a little kid and sit around and screw with blocks all day, and things wouldn't matter." "I mean that." Madilla's voice is sharp, and if not quite lecturing, well, it's still not hard to imagine her using the same tone on her own naughty child in a few turns, or perhaps an unruly apprentice of her own. "We all are what we are. As long as we don't hurt people... surely the details don't matter. And you /are/ a good healer. You're going to be brilliant. I believe in you." As she speaks, she sets her papers down, crossing the distance between them so she can reach out in an attempt to wrap him in her arms. "I know you wish all that. It's hard. But we /are/ going to fix it. We /are/." So much for not crying in front of Madilla. With his face buried in his arms, Gabe's sob is muffled, but recognizable for exactly what it is. After a minute or two, he turns around again so he can hug Madilla back. Finally, when he's got some control again he says wearily, "If you think it can work out. Maybe." He doesn't sound confident. Madilla's family would probably have conniptions at this whole Touching business, but the healer herself seems utterly comfortable with it, content to remain in this position for as long as Gabrion needs her to. As he turns around, she squeezes him gently. "If it's possible to work it out, we will. I promise." Though her voice is quiet, it's audibly determined, which surely has to count for something. At least he's not interested in sleeping with her. Probably. Gabe had started to relax, but he stiffens up again at 'if it's possible.' He holds on for a few moments longer, then pulls away, mumbling, "Okay. Sure. Whatever." He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe his face and blow his nose. "Guess I better go talk to her," he says in a dull voice. Madilla draws back as Gabrion does, fixing her gaze very carefully upon the other Apprentice. There's nothing but empathy on her face: she looks very close to tears herself. "Do you want me to go with you?" she asks. "I don't mind." "If you want," Gabe mumbles, trying to be offhanded like it doesn't matter to him, even though it very clearly does. Is it insulting to suggest that Madilla knnows how to deal with this kind of thing, having volunteered with the nannies a fair amount? Well. Human behaviour /is/ human behaviour. She extends her hand towards Gabrion, expression unchanged: "Come on, then. Let's get it over with." Gabrion nods and wordlessly accepts her hand. He seems to take some comfort from it even if he does look like he's on his way to his execution. Madilla's hand, at least, squeezes Gabrion's comfortingly, as she abandons her papers entirely, and leads them straight for that office, where Delifa is no doubt going over paperwork, but more than happy to be interrupted. |
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