Logs:Baby Plan Review
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| RL Date: 6 April, 2010 |
| Who: B'tal, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Madilla and B'tal review their plan, in the wake of W'chek's reaction. |
| Where: Garden Patio Ledge, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 27, Month 5, Turn 22 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: W'chek/Mentions |
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| Garden Patio Ledge, High Reaches Weyr Partly sheltered by the curving stone overhang, partly exposed to the weather, the wide stone patio serves as a balcony for socializing or just plain drinking on a sizable scale. The repurposed ledge might once have let two large dragons land, but now there's too much furniture for that: two rustic tables with attendant chairs, plus a couple more in particularly good weather, and a wrought iron bench situated to make the most of the view of the western bowl and the lake beyond. Other changes include rough little niches carved out of the stone walls to hold glows in colored bottles at night, the climbing plant that's being trained to grow up along the overhang, and the blue ceramic pots of flowers that dot the edge of the ledge as a colorful reminder not to fall off. An archway leads to the Snowasis itself, housed in the ledge's former weyr, while a few wide steps descend along the wall to the bowl. The sky is clear today. The air remains cool and damp, but the weather is overall pleasant today. Earlier this afternoon, the brown lifemate of one of the Dragonhealers extended a tendril of thought towards Jeibeth. « The little healer would like to talk to yours, » he told her. « She'll be at the *patio* when her shift is done, if yours is free? » Presuming an affirmative, it's early evening - the sun still up, thanks to the longer days, though not for too much longer - when the healer, in a blue skirt and pretty white blouse, wanders up the steps from the bowl. Jeibeth, ever courteous and polite, relayed the message to her rider and thanked the brown so very kindly for his part. Having perhaps recently gotten back from his duties for the day when the message was received, B'tal is already sitting at one of the smaller tables along the edge near the bowl, staring out across the expanse and looking at nothing in particular. He has a mug of something and one of his legs is bouncing restlessly but he stills when his attention is drawn Madilla-wards. A smile appears and he rises but the extent of what he says is limited to a slightly awkward, "Hey." And maybe that brown flirted for just a little while-- well, can you blame him? Madilla's expression blossoms into a smile as she catches sight of the greenrider; she hurries towards him, reaching out with both hands to attempt to take one of his between them, to squeeze it. "Hello," she says, warmly. "You're well? And Jeibeth? I'm sorry-- I hope you didn't have any other plans, or anything?" Fortunately Jeibeth is almost always willing to flirt. Something she and her rider have in common? "I'm fine," he assures her, glancing at his hand in hers like he's not entirely sure why it makes his smile brighten but it does. "Jeibeth's great. But no. I didn't, don't, have any plans." He shakes his head to emphasize that and when he can, he moves to sit back down. "Are you well? Is everything okay? Did you-- you know? Uh. Figure things out?" As B'tal moves to sit back down, Madilla settles herself into the next seat along, pressing her hands together on top of the table as she gives a hurried nod, smile still in place. "Good. I'm glad. And yes, yes, everything's fine. I-- did. And..." She breaks off, a frown crossing her face just slightly before she picks up the thread of her words again. "W'chek came to see me. I wanted to talk to you about that before... anything else." All smiles until the mention of W'chek. It doesn't exactly make it all go away but it fades considerably and B'tal glances down toward the table. A hand moves toward his drink but it stops once it's wrapped around the mug. He seems hesitant to actually say anything before she says whatever she needs to say so in the end he just glances back up at her to continue. That reaction seems to say it all for Madilla; she turns her head away, staring off into the distance over the bowl for a long time before she managers to make her own response. "He does claim he's okay with it. That he deserves it. I... I don't like that, I admit. I don't want to make him unhappy." But. And it's a significant but, however unspoken. A guilty glance gets returned towards the greenrider. "He wants me to tell you that I don't want him involved." The greenrider shakes his head slightly when she begins to speak, not to stop her really, but he doesn't seem to like it, either. "I don't want him to be unhappy, either," B'tal murmurs, eyes cast back toward the table as he says it. He looks guilty even before she finishes. It takes him awhile longer to say anything to the last. Finally, just to be sure; "And you don't? Want him involved?" Madilla takes several thick swallows before she speaks again, turning to watch the greenrider as she does so. "I didn't say that," is her quiet remark. "I don't know. He would be involved, wouldn't he? He's part of your life. He's-- any child of ours /would/ have a relationship with him, unless I forbid it or something, and I would never do that. /Never/." It's not a complete answer; it comes across as though the healer is still genuinely conflicted, despite probably having thought about this for several days already. If anything, that she doesn't agree with the statement only makes B'tal a little more confused. Or uncertain. Something along those lines that's pretty typical for him anyway. "So he told you to tell me that he doesn't want to be involved?" Because that's more or less what B'tal is getting out of all of that and even if it doesn't make him look like a kicked puppy, it doesn't make him look any better. Then he shakes his head and looks at her more directly, "Do you still... want this?" Madilla meets his gaze without hesitation. "Yes," is her answer, quiet, but firm. "I want this baby. This-- baby that doesn't exist yet. But I want to make sure we've thought it through, first. That it's not going to make things awful somehow." The way she speaks suggests that it takes a lot for her to say that, to second-guess this much-hoped-for thing. "I don't know what he wants. I don't understand him. Maybe it's that he feels he shouldn't be involved. Maybe he thinks I think so poorly of him I truly wouldn't want-- I don't know." B'tal still seems uncertain. He finally lifts the mug he's had his hand wrapped around to take a long drink before setting it back down with unnecessary care. Something else to focus on while he considers. "I don't think it'll be awful. Don't think it /could/ be, whatever happens." The greenrider looks like he wants to say more but he stops himself before it starts coming out. "I'm still willing," he offers finally, just in case she was doubting that at all. It's a rare occasion that Madilla pushes for anything, but she does now, though she has to swallow heavily before she does so. "You were going to say something else. What?" There's a beat of a pause, and she looks awkward, as though she can't believe she's pushing for that. Then; "I know you are. I just... I want to make sure. That we've-- I said that already. As G'brion told me once... you can't unmake a baby. I'd never want that, though." B'tal shakes his head like he doesn't really want to say anything. But it's as close to an explanation as he seems to be able to get. "He just... He doesn't like that you know. He doesn't like that people know. They don't understand. And I think he agrees with them." Which just makes B'tal look even more guilty. "He's not a bad person. But I think he thinks he is." There's something in his tone that probably suggests he wishes it were still her and his weyrmate that were doing this whole thing. Madilla looks, for a moment, as though she might cry; she manages to compose herself after a moment, and instead, shakes her head, again and again. "He loves you, though. He told me. He said-- he had everything he needed to be happy, and he meant /you/." It doesn't answer his remarks, not really, and so she adds, finally, "I wish I knew how to help him. To let him be-- what he is without being ashamed. I hate that he is. He /shouldn't/ be." His gaze lifts to find hers as she speaks like he's looking for some hint in her expression that she's just saying that to make him feel better or something along that line. When he doesn't, though, B'tal looks away and draws in a slow breath. Sighing it back out betrays some emotion in its shakiness. "Yeah," he says a little lamely but there's not a whole lot else for him to say on that matter. "Him being there would probably make things too weird, huh? If we go through with it." The question kind of comes out of no where. And maybe it's just meant to lighten the mood. If anything, that emotion just makes Madilla smile. It's not a beam, nothing like her earlier smiles, but it obviously pleases her, nonetheless: they love each other! They make each other happy! This is good! Whether or not that last comment was intended seriously, Madilla takes it so, responding with a question of her own; "Would it make it easier for you? If he was there." Even though it's a fairly appropriate follow up to the question that he asked, serious or not, B'tal seems a little surprised that she asks. He actually has to think about it, which makes him blush just a bit. "It might," he admits but shrugs and shakes his head at the same time. "But it might not. And it could make it all worse for him." On the other hand, W'chek might pay to see B'tal and Madilla try to get it on. It's kind of a toss up. "I'll be fine," he offers a little more confidently. This whole thing just gets more and more fucked up. Madilla looks calm, though; perhaps that's even /part/ of how fucked up it all is. Innocent, sweet little Madilla. "Whatever makes you the most comfortable," she tells him, firmly. "And him. I don't mind." Not now, when they're sitting outside on a relatively mild spring evening. Who knows what'll happen when it comes down to it. "It'll be another-- sevenday and a half? About that. If... It doesn't have to be this month." B'tal just nods his head, glancing at Madilla uncertainly all over again. But his nod is a firm one. He doesn't really seem to know what to say when she stops talking other than, "Whenever you're ready." A slight emphasis to make it clear he means he wants her to be comfortable about everything, too. He can even manage to attach a smile to that and he moves a hand toward her shoulder, aiming for a reassuring touch. "A sevenday and a half," repeats Madilla, more firmly this time: determined. It's going to happen! She's decided. She lets that hand rest on her shoulder, even raises her own to set it on top of his, and squeeze gently. "I'm glad you're okay with all of this. That-- we can try. I'm... excited." Beaming again, even, albeit with a little more steel, now. "I should probably go in." Her beaming makes B'tal do the same, especially with the words that she uses. Excited is probably a good way to put it. Her determination seems to spark a certain confidence in him, too. "Me, too. Excited. And, right." He glances toward the Snowasis then nods his head. "I probably should, too." Or get another drink. One of those would probably be a good plan. "Take care, Madilla." A squeeze from his hand before it falls away. Madilla draws herself out of her seat as B'tal's hand falls away, fastening one more bright smile on the greenrider before she turns to go. "I'll send you another message, when the time comes," she promises. "But hopefully I'll see you around before then. Have a nice evening." Then, she wanders off down the stairs and into the bowl, into the gathering dark of this spring evening. |
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