Logs:I Loved Him So Much
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| RL Date: 26 July, 2011 |
| Who: Lilabet, Madilla, W'chek |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: W'chek brings B'tal's things to Madilla and Lily. |
| Where: Madilla's Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 24, Month 4, Turn 26 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: B'tal/Mentions |
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| Madilla's Room, High Reaches Weyr The generous size of this cavern, and the evenly spaced glow-lamps, result in a set of private quarters that are less claustrophobic than they very easily could be. A set of brightly coloured quilts cover most of the walls, covering over uneven patches and ensuring the room stays cozy even in the middle of winter. On the floor, several rag rugs create the same affect - they may not be palatial, plush carpets, but they do the job. A small table with two chairs sits just opposite the door, not quite flush to the unevenly carved wall. In the far corner, a simple, single-sized bed, made up with another brightly coloured quilt, sits with a wooden press at the end, and a baby's cradle just beside it. A peculiarly shaped alcove, opposite the end of the bed, provides more storage space: several hooks for clothes, and a chest of drawers. Today is a restday for Madilla, which would be why she's at home in the middle of the afternoon. The door to her room is flung open, and even from down the corridor, it is probably possible to hear her soft humming as she sweeps the room's floor. She can be found inside, her hair pulled back with a kerchief, the room in casual disaray with rugs and quilts draped over chairs, and other things piled up onto the narrow bed. It's several different sets of footsteps, coming down the hall, because the trunk that W'chek arrives at Madilla's door with is more than one man could carry comfortably. Although he possibly could have at least carried half of it, instead of drafting two Candidates to do it for him, but isn't that what Candidates are for? "Got it, guys, here we are. Run along now." Those two shooed away, the bronzerider knocks on Madilla's open door. "Madilla?" It's not unusual for there to be footsteps coming up and down that corridor, even during the day, not when so many of the crafters work so close to home. Madilla's humming - and sweeping - continues uninterrupted, then, right up until the moment she registers W'chek's voice. She's just swinging around to look when the bronzerider knocks; her expression is one of genuine surprise, a sound matched in her voice, as she says, "W'chek? Come in. I didn't--" It must be said that W'chek has lost a bit of weight. A month, it's been almost exactly a month. His jaw remains steadfastly immobile, but he's gotten considerably better at enunciating despite this, at least. But he also looks reasonably put together, and he manages a faint smile for her. "Brought a few things down for Lily." For some definition of 'a few'. Thankfully, from here, the trunk can be pushed into the room without too much trouble. "You don't mind, do you?" Madilla's expression has concern written right across it, and it may be said that she falters before being able to speak again, gaze shifting from the bronzerider to the trunk and back again before any words come out. Even when they do, her first try is muffled; barely audible. Finally, more firmly: "No, no, of course not. Bring it all in. How are you doing W'chek? The jaw?" She was at Ista, of course, when that happened, but it's hardly surprising that she knows. "Doing much better." Which might refer to the jaw or more; W'chek doesn't really specify right away. "Been going through things, trying to consolidate--asking for somewhere smaller." A beat. "Since it's just me, now." As though that wouldn't have been obvious without the clarification. Then he raps on the trunk with his knuckles. "Bottom's mostly clothes, figured she might like some things. Couple tunics that could be altered, nicer colors, you know? And scarves and whatnot. Then a few things I think he'd meant to give her at some point--might have to have someone finish the more tinkery bits, not my strong suit... is she around?" Words still seem to be difficult to come by, for Madilla, because she does nothing but nod at relatively appropriate intervals as W'chek speaks. It's only when there's a direct question that she can pull together something to actually say: "She's down the corridor, with one of my neighbours. Ellin has a son about Lily's age; they like to play-- shall I fetch her?" She seems uncertain about it, and adds, hurriedly, "Thank you for all of this. I know it will mean a lot, for her, to have things... You're sure you've kept enough for you?" "I don't need much." This reassurance comes very quickly. W'chek sits himself down on the trunk, folds his hands there, watches Madilla with a sort of concern that would suggest she was more deserving of it than he could manage to be. "Looking to move somewhere smaller. You don't have to go get her on my account. I just thought I might, you know, say hello, if she was here." A quantity of contact, even there, that has thus far been almost nonexistent. "How has she been taking it?" Not the kind to argue at the best of times, Madilla hesitates, but finally nods. She settles into a half-lean, half-sit against the bed, hands sitting awkwardly at her sides as she watches W'chek. "If you're sure," she says, which could easily answer several things, and is, perhaps, intended to. "If you want to, I can take you past to see her, on your way out. She's--" She hesitates. "I don't think she really understands. She talks about daddy, and while we were at Ista, she asked why he hadn't come with us, because he promised, but-- it's beyond her, the notion of 'forever'. But she knows something isn't really right." Those little details seem to hit hard, the bronzerider sheltering his face with his hand for a moment before returning it to his lap. "No, inot really right. Could do that, go see her. There's... a few things for her in here from me, too. Just in the interest of keeping everything together. She's sort of the closest thing I have left to family." W'chek pauses, a smile there that looks a little forced. "Teris and I not getting on very well and all." Madilla's expression freezes; she looks both upset and concerned at the reaction her words have, but though she half rises, as though she intends to cross to the bronzerider, after a moment, she sinks back down again. "Thank you," she says, quietly. "From both of us. We'll always be here for you. I want her to know how much her father was loved. By you, by Teris, by the rest of his family-- I'll make sure she knows it." "Most of the rest of his family." The correction is almost an afterthought, but W'chek doesn't linger on those memories. "Don't know how you explain things like that, to a kid. But it's good. He was, anyhow. 'Tween you two for parents, bet she'll never be short of champions of her own." He pushes himself up from the trunk, then, stretching. "And she won't ever have to wonder that he would have loved her. That's a rotten thing to have to wonder." A hard line appears on Madilla's face at that correction, though she nods: /most/ of the rest of his family. "Families," she says, quietly, albeit vehemently, "can get so fucked up." It's a surprising choice of word - it's probably not one she's used since, well, she found out about W'chek and B'tal. At least this is a different context. "But they still matter. No, she'll never have to wonder that; I wouldn't ever let that happen. You're going to be all right?" "Shouldn't we have to wash your mouth out with soap or something for that?" Yes, it's a joke, complete with the first smile in awhile that hasn't looked at least in part like it was just pasted onto W'chek's face. "S'pose they are. Don't think either of us gets any points in normalcy." It's also a delaying tactic, though, as he rubs one elbow with the opposite hand and finally says, "One day at a time. Can't do any more than that. I thought about going away. Z'yi went to Igen. But for right now..." His shoulders lift, shrugging. "S'pose I should be getting back to work soon, but nobody's pushed it." It makes Madilla smile, too, and she says, cheerfully, "As long as Lily isn't around, I think I'm safe." Her cheeks have gone pink, though, as though it embarrasses her to have said it, nonetheless. "No. No normalcy." Her gaze stays firmly fastened to the bronzerider as he continues, her mouth sucked in thoughtfully as she listens; she looks concerned all over again. "It might help. Going away, I mean. It helped me - just to have time to clear my head. But I think it has to be what helps /you/, whatever that is. I imagine they'll give you all the time you need." "I thought about maybe doing something else. Something with fewer sweeps." Not that W'chek should have to point out why long hours spent basically alone could potentially not be a nice thing right now. "Zen--that is, friend of mine suggested taking up something new. Might look into it, after I get moved. Moving is tiring enough." Especially when you're having to survive on meals prepared to be drunk through a straw, in a world where there's no such thing as food chemists. "Anyway. If she's necessary to maintain your good behavior, maybe we ought to go see Lily." He gestures in the direction of the door. "That's a good idea," says Madilla, firmly, and with no small amount of not-really-concealed relief. She aims a thin little smile at W'chek, as she rises from the bed again. "I'm--" she hesitates. "Glad you've got people to talk to." It isn't quite 'glad you've got a friend', but it might as well be. "Lily, though - yes, of course. I don't want to keep you all day." She slides the kerchief off her hair as she heads for the door, adding, "Ellin and Archilin live just down here." Her thin smile is met by a slightly broader one, and W'chek allows her to precede him through the door, before following her down the hall. "It's nice to have someone who understands how it feels, kind of. Without understanding too much." A rub of his jaw, there, probably meant to indicate the one who did that. "I liked the kerchief. It makes you look very domestic." And he's still holdbred enough to consider that a compliment, of course. Madilla can't help it: she glances back to look at that jaw, biting back something before she says, evenly, "Good. I can imagine how that would help. It--" She breaks off, reaching her destination before she has time to finish it, and concludes, instead, with a wry little smile, "It makes me feel domestic, too. Mostly, though, it's practical." She lifts her hand to knock on the door; inside, the sound of squealing children can be heard. "Coming!" says a voice, within. "It doesn't really hurt now," W'chek reassures, whether or not that's actually true, to head off that obvious concern. At least his face *looks* quite normal, now, the last of the bruising long gone. He's just stuck with the muttering. And not being able to eat. He lingers at the door as they wait for the answer. "Practical is a good thing to be. They *are* noisy, aren't they?" Eyebrows somewhat inclinced, possible awaiting some kind of screaming horde on the other side of the door. "They can be," admits Madilla. She evidently intends to say more, but the door swings open and a moment later there's a three-turn-old bundle of dark-haired daughter flinging herself past the woman standing in the doorway, and straight at the healer's knees. /She/ is quiet, but the other two children - both blonde, one several turns older than the other, squeal in excitement, crowding around to get a better look. The woman in the door looks amused, and then surprised, glancing from Madilla to W'chek and then back again. "I just need to borrow her for a few minutes, Ellin," Madilla explains, picking Lily up. "Lily, say hello to Uncle W'chek." Lily gives W'chek a shy glance. She looks quite a bit like her father - her eyes, something about the shape of her nose and face. "Back home we generally kept it to a dull roar." And W'chek casts a glance, there, at the two who're making all the noise, but there's not much real glare in it, even a little bit of a smile. "Uh--hey there, Lily." Okay, for someone who has umpteen billion nieces and nephews and nearly that many siblings, this is a little awkward, to start, the bronzerider smiling yet but putting his hands in his pockets and keeping a little bit of distance. "You really are getting so big, you know that?" Madilla may have been talking to Lily, but it is the other two who chorus, at all but a shout: "Hello, Uncle W'chek!" Ellin shoos them away, closing the door most of the way behind her so that she can keep the louder two contained. Lily, meanwhile, rests her head upon her mother's breast and considers W'chek with big eyes, terribly serious. She nods, but doesn't say anything. "She's shy," excuses her mother. "Come on, Lily. Say hello." Lily doesn't. Instead; "You're daddy's friend. When's /he/ coming to see me?" There are some raised eyebrows for the kids' willingness to refer to random strangers as uncles, but thankfully they get a little more privacy, there. Especially thankfully, because at that question, W'chek's eyes start tearing up and he has to take a shaky breath before he can answer, as gentle as he can manage, "He had to go away. We don't get to see him anymore, not until--well, not for a very long time." He takes about a half step closer, hesitantly raises a hand to touch the little girl's shoulder, as long as she's not making any move to start screaming over it, anyway. "Been missing him?" Lilabet's eyes go wide at the sight of W'chek's tears, and as he reaches out to touch her shoulder, she's reaching out as though she would wipe those tears away with her fingers, though her arm doesn't quite stretch that far. It hovers, then drops, as she nods. "Uh-huh. Mama says--" She pauses, breaks off. "I wish he didn't go." Madilla stays still, and says nothing, but there are tears in her eyes, too. "I wish he didn't, too." W'chek will just have to wipe his own face on his sleeve, there. It's not like it's the first time his sleeves have done double duty. "He didn't want to go, I promise. We just have to make do the best we can." He clears his throat, sniffles just a little bit, and then adds, "But I brought you some things, when you go home. If you're good, there might possibly be a bag of taffy there for you. Just maybe." And he taps Lily's nose with his finger there, gently, trying to smile. Again, Lily nods, her face set in an an expression that is almost /too/ thoughtful for a child her age, though she /does/ manage a tiny smile when W'chek taps her nose. "I'm always good," she tells him, manging to sound as though this really is the perfect truth. It does, however, take a light nudge from her mother before she adds, "Thank you." It's followed almost immediately by, "Please don't be too sad." "I loved him so much, your daddy." If W'chek were one of those people with a magical touch with children, he might say something about how it's okay to be sad sometimes, or something, but that's about as much as he can really manage just now. There's another throat-clearing. "I'd better go. I'm sure I'll see you both later." He manages at least not to totally bolt, however close he seems to be to breaking down, lingering long enough for proper goodbyes if they're forthcoming before he heads back out the caverns. "Me, too," says Lilabet, though her face crinkles up, now, and it looks mostly as though she's upset for W'chek, faced with all of this. "Thank you." Madilla doesn't push for anything else, but murmurs, only, "Look after yourself, W'chek. Thank you." But they'll stay and watch him go, daughter leaning dark head against her mother, her blue eyes glistening with unsuppressed tears. |
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