Logs:Time to Leap
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| RL Date: 25 August, 2009 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: After her talk with Milani, Madilla reevalutes. |
| Where: Lake, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 27, Month 7, Turn 20 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Milani/Mentions, W'chek/Mentions |
| She'd thought about trying to get a hold of B'tal instantly, that evening, on her way out of Milani's, but eventually decided against it. No: tonight was for her, tonight was hers. It was dark, now, and the weyr bowl was quieter, as she crossed silently from the caverns towards the lake. She crossed the landbridge to about halfway and then stood there, staring out over the moon-dappled water. A little over a seven ago, she'd sat here with W'chek and talked about the future. Three days ago, she'd sat not far from here and found out the truth. Her hand dropped into the pocket of her skirt, and drew out the necklace she'd put in there earlier. She looked down at her palm, thoughtful, and then critical. She'd worn it for months, now - a few, anyway. She'd gotten used to it. For a moment, she thought about tossing it out into the water, letting it sink and be lost. But... no. It wasn't truly hers to abandon like that. It had been W'chek's mother's, and... he ought to have it back. Perhaps she'd give it to B'tal, she thought, for a moment. To give it back to W'chek, or maybe to keep. A lover's gift, wasn't it? But it wasn't bitterness she felt, as she considered it, then dropped it carefully back into her pocket. For the first time in days, she felt almost peaceful. Almost. She crossed the rest of the bridge, and wove her way around the rocks, minding her steps, but not, especially, where she was going. It felt like a turning point. Like... this was it. I don't have to be what I was raised to be. I don't have to do what is expected, because it isn't, anymore. I don't have to be Milani, but... I don't have to judge her, either. It's my life, isn't it? It was a frightening thought. For a moment, she thought about trying to forget it, to just go on as she always had. But. Something about it just wouldn't let go. What do you think matters, Madilla? What is 'good' behaviour, and what is bad? Isn't it, ultimately, more about not hurting people? If something makes the people involved happy, it isn't bad, surely. She stopped on top of a rock, staring down at the dark water. So. There it was. Three turns in a weyr, and for the first time, she felt like... like it really was okay. Like she was allowed to re-evaluate right and wrong, and good and bad, and all of those things that had so bothered her for so long. You're on your own, Madilla. Not... alone. But. You have to make your own decisions. You have to take control of your own life. What do you think matters, Madilla? What is it you want? She could feel the answer welling up inside her. So. That was it. She took a step forward, grasping hold of her pocket to keep it closed, and dropped, silently, soundlessly except for the wake around her, into the water, letting it take hold of her and drag her down until her shoed feet touched the sandy bottom, and she pushed up again. Gasping, breathless, she reached for the shore. A new start, then. Time to take hold. Time to be. Time to see what would come next. It hurt. It still hurt. It would probably hurt for a long time. But... it was going to be okay. It really was. |
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