Logs:AU - Mama
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| RL Date: 8 December, 2009 |
| Who: Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Madilla's desire to be a mother outweighs her desire to be a healer. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 0, Month 0, Turn 0 (Interval 0) |
| Mentions: A'son/Mentions, E'dro/Mentions, Tiriana/Mentions |
| It's not as though the idea had never occurred to her before. It's not as though it hadn't been eating away at her for... months now. Turns, even, maybe. She was not yet seventeen: it would be three turns, at least, before she could walk the tables, and Madilla was no longer sure she could do it. Even so, there were butterflies racing inside her as she walked out of the caverns on that night, feeling the intensity of the air like actual prickles against her skin. She'd never felt so alive. She'd never been so terrified. But the timing was right. It had to be now - it could not have been more perfect. She was not alone, standing a distance outside Iovniath's weyr: she kept her gaze lowered, avoiding any possibility of eye contact. She'd worn a hood. She'd borrowed a dress. No one would know it was her. And so she was there as it all unfolded, as one rider after another made their exit. The healer in her wanted to rush towards A'son - the blood, oh, the blood! - but she forced herself not to. That decision was made. That bridge, soon to be crossed. If she dared. If it worked. If... And then they all began to emerge, it was young E'dro who caught her gaze and steadied her intentions. She grabbed him by the arm and drew him away, and no doubt he was too flight-lost to know who she was, except that she was a warm body and he, a needy, desperate man. She fled as soon as it was done, abandoning him before he even really saw who she was. Months later, as her belly ballooned out, she caught him glancing in her direction once, as if he were not quite sure if he recognised her. She looked away. Repercussions were, of course, swift: Healer Apprentices are not allowed to be pregnant, not allowed to be sexually active. Delifa had no choice but to report it, and later, no choice but to take Madilla's knot away from her. It hurt, saying good bye to all that work, but Madilla wrapped her arms around her belly and smiled, all the same. A baby. Her baby. She worked in the nurseries, and they were glad to have her: it was nice not to have to run to the infirmary all the time, for bruises and scrapes and simple things. Perhaps she did still feel a sting of envy as she watched the healers, but of regrets, she had none. Not when she could focus her attention on the little girl who ran towards her with such enthusiasm, calling out in a bubbly voice: "Mama, mama, mama!" |
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