Logs:Grief and Fear
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| RL Date: 8 February, 2015 |
| Who: Dilan, Madilla |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: Madilla breaks the news about Issedi to her son. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 12, Month 13, Turn 36 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Devaki/Mentions, H'kon/Mentions, Issedi/Mentions, Lilabet/Mentions, Vinien/Mentions |
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| "Are they going to kill my father, too?" They hadn't been at the Hold - thank goodness. It was hard enough to tell Dilan here, safely at home; she couldn't imagine what it would've been like if he'd been there, been with his half-siblings who had just lost their mother. Dilan was managing to hold his composure, striving for maturity beyond his turns, but Madilla could see the tell-tale signs of impending tears and fright. "No, no, of course not," Madilla promised, guiltily, as she drew her son - so tall, now! - into her arms. "Not Devaki, and not Vinien, and not anyone else, I promise. They caught the man who did it. But you need to be strong, Dee. Vinien and his--" "They lost their mom," he agreed, staunchly wiping away his tears. "I don't want to lose you, and they're just little. Even Vinny. Why does this kind of thing happen, mama? Why are people so mean? Is it 'cause of where my father came from?" "People... don't understand. It's complicated. They fear things that are different. And your father... some people don't think he should've been Lord." "But he's a good Lord." "Yes, but not everyone sees that. That's all." Dilan wiped away a few more tears, pulling away from his mother. "Are we going to see them? I want to see Vinny and the girls. They'll need me." "Soon," Madilla promised. "We need to give them some time. This is their grief, remember. I know you liked Lady Issedi, but it's different." "I didn't always like her," Dee admitted, looking at his toes. "Sometimes it didn't feel like she liked me." He paused. Madilla waited, aware that there was something else on her son's mind. "Would you've been able to save her, if you'd been there?" It was tremulous. "No, no. I don't think anyone would've, Dee. Sometimes things are broken and they just can't be fixed." "Even if you lived there? I know dad would like you to." "Not even then." Madilla paused. "Do you wish I lived there?" "No. No. I don't want you to be anywhere be here, mom. This is where you belong. And me. With H'kon and Arekoth and-- I just thought, you know." "I know." Madilla leaned across to kiss her son's blond head. "I wish I could have saved her. I really do, Dee." Madilla worried about her son. She worried about her son's father, too, and her son's half-siblings, but mostly - selfishly - she worried about her son. Dilan managed far better than she'd hoped, treading the line between Blood and not. It didn't seem to bother him that he would never hold the rank of his younger siblings; not much did bother him, in the end. So different to Lilabet, of course. Lilabet, at nine, would have had completely different questions. She would have wanted to know about motivations and repercussions; she would have instantly gone for the bigger picture. Dee, though-- he was empathic, first and foremost. Sometimes she half-wished he had ambitions towards healing, and yet it was good, too, that he knew his own path. Dilan was safe at the Weyr, surely. Surely. No one would hurt a little boy because of who his father was, not here... surely. Not surely. She felt a little stab of fear, and tried to force it away. It would be silly to go after him. He wasn't in line for the Hold; he didn't matter, not like that. And yet. And so. She thought about Issedi. They'd never really warmed into a friendship, the Lady and the Healer. Madilla couldn't blame the other woman-- what wife would be happy to see a former flame (what a terrible word to describe her relationship with Devaki!) of her husband's show up, child on tow? They'd managed, though. For Dev. For Dilan. And now... Oh, Issedi, Madilla found herself thinking, full of regret. You didn't deserve that. Nor did Devaki. Hadn't he had enough grief? She would go to see him. She'd take Dee. But not... not yet. Let them have their private grief, first. She wrote, though, trying not to cry onto the paper.
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Comments
Azaylia (04:41, 9 February 2015 (EST)) said...
- ^; Aww, little Dee... Awwww, big D! So sad. DX
Edyis (05:50, 9 February 2015 (EST)) said...
<3 I always love reading Dilan's reactions to things, Madilla's too.
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