Logs:Kiss and Tell
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| RL Date: 24 August, 2015 |
| Who: Dee, Ka'ge |
| Involves: Fort Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Dee and Ka'ge have had private weyrs for a couple sevens and it takes a happenstance run-in in the stores for him to get an invitation to hers. Despite the invitation, she's infuriatingly prude and inquisitive. Ka'ge takes it all pretty well though he's not thinking clearly for much of it. Neither of them plays fair. |
| Where: Stores and Dee's weyr, Fort Weyr |
| When: Day 14, Month 8, Turn 38 (Interval 10) |
| Mentions: Ead/Mentions, J'zen/Mentions, Lilah/Mentions, Mariella/Mentions, Rasaid/Mentions, Szarit/Mentions, Zennia/Mentions |
| OOC Notes: Kissing. Lots of kissing. |
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>---< Stores, Fort Weyr >----------------------------------------------------<
Fort's Stores are made up of a series of caverns of differing sizes that
hold the vast majority of the Weyr's perishable and non-perishable
supplies. Accessible from both the Kitchen and the Tunnel to the outside
of the Weyr, these Stores are split into two levels, with the lower levels
dug down deep along a sloping passageway where it's always chilly for
perishables and the upper level containing mostly dry goods.
Second-hand clothing and linens as well as cleaning supplies are kept in
open storerooms. Several 'junk' rooms are also left unlocked with a 'free
to take' policy on items that are not in good enough condition to
requisition but not broken enough to throw out. The rest of the caverns
are usually kept locked and require permission from the Headwoman or the
storeskeeper on duty for access. It is no doubt unsurprising that Dee is given an escort with a clipboard whenever she comes to the stores. Today, the quest seems to involve the supply of flatware and plates (some more chipped and well-loved than others) kept in a cavern with other small 'household goods' that have been donated by the Weyr's members for those just starting out as they trade up to better. Dee has a small cart on wheels that has a nest of small braided rugs at the bottom and a smattering of other items. She sifts through forks, a trio held separate in one hand, each with a different shaped butt and from time to time another is drawn out to compare: a girl in search of a matched set, it seems. Ka'ge turns into the cavern of household goods with a couple of large navy blue pillows already tucked under his arm. Worn around the edges like most of the second, third, forth-hand items are, but usable, the color is faded to a more thready grey-blue. Although his hood is drawn as far over his face as it can be and his posture is that slouched manner he has when he's in his typical lazy, uncaring mindset, there's something about him that's a little different. It's hard to catch him when he's being unobservant, but now would be one of those times. He appears distracted as he's looking across the shelves of items available for weyrlings to stock and furnish their new weyrs with. There's so much stuff. And it's not stealing to take it. Can one person really have a lot of items all for themselves? The concept is almost difficult to grasp and it's not surprising that he nearly runs into the assistant with the clipboard that's following Dee. A shortened step to the side avoids the collision, but leads to glance down at the other and then to the one she's with. He hasn't missed her avoidance of him ever since everything had happened- and, certainly, a lot had. He'd been there, he'd been watching from afar. Chiv had intermittently shown up in the night and then been gone before too long. "Next shelf." His blue-green eyes flicker briefly from Dee to the shelf above the one she's perusing, his head tipped briefly towards it at the other handful of forks that appear, at least from his distance, to match at least the handles. His attention, however, is turned to pots, which don't get nearly the length of time for detail-oriented thought before he picks one up. There's a clatter as two of the three forks dance out of Dee's startled hand, her fumbling fingers only managing to retain the last of the three, which she suddenly clutches close to her chest as too wide eyes turn to the familiar frame of hooded head. If she were following her trend of active avoidance, she should say some polite expression of gratitude and claim the forks don't suit her and finish with the stores assistant and have done. That Dee never gave Ka'ge's name to anyone probably is one reason why he's able to move about so freely, even if he'll be required to submit the same tracking logs as everyone else in the stores these days. She looks to the assistant and offers her a small smile. "Mariella, would you mind adding these to my list?" It's requested as she grasps a handful of mismatched silverware from the shelf Ka'ge indicated and the two lost on the floor and hands them over to the assistant. Once that's done, she steps closer to Ka'ge, one hand going out to try to catch him just above the elbow and steer him a little distance away where they might have-- well, not really privacy, but less obvious observation. "You should get some mitts," she nods to the shelves that they'd end up in front of if he goes with her. Who can say after this much avoidance if Dee's willingly close proximity helps or harms matters as they stand, staying close to his elbow and reaching across him to pull a slightly singed hot mitt from the shelf to examine. Ka'ge's faint amusement at the clattering of forks is subtle and passes quickly, though before he can turn to leave her be- he's made it not entirely difficult for her to avoid him after taking notice of her efforts- he finds himself being steered in a different direction. He's compliant, if silent, in the process, studying her curiously from out of the corner of his eye beyond the edge of his hood. "Mitts." Is a feigned agreement, but the boy seems somewhat cautious in the way he stands next to her- that being, a little cold as he bides a little time. Not physically withdrawing, of course, but as if he doesn't know what sort of 'Dee' he's about to get. It was unexpected enough for her to take his arm. Eventually, that sarcasm pipes up with the added quiet comment just to her of "Planning on burning things?" "Perhaps a bit," Dee answers, her tone more thoughtful than it ought to be when she follows the words up with, "I thought if I might scale back from bridges." There's something wry but also a touch apologetic there. She glances briefly up at him and then back to the mitt. "I think this one might already have a head start on my aims though," she points out the spot where the singe has passed through to the padding and she leans close to exchange it for another. "It's strange to be away from everyone, even if I was away from everyone already," sort of, at least at a distance emotionally and mentally. "Do you like it better? Having a place of your own?" Ka'ge's demeanor doesn't change at her comment swayed as something of an apology. Instead, he offers after a hint of a pause, "You were getting pretty good at that. Why stop now?" His expression has eased enough to at least have the edge of his old smirk, but he's still watching her carefully. Eventually, while those bright blue-green eyes of his linger on her, his hand reaches for the mitts too and to accidentally brush against hers as he takes one of the others there. His gaze turns to it, examining it mockingly carefully as he flops it over in his grip as if the touch didn't happen. "It's very quiet." Confides one who has never even imagined claiming a space of his own, the slight narrowing of his eyes giving away that single honest piece about his feelings on the subject. But it's dismissed easily, quickly with a one-shouldered shrug. "I suppose after all the time you spent trying to pull away, it's a relief." Dee flinches at his first words, but a quiet clearing of her throat precedes her smoothing her expression as his hands touch hers and then she looks at him a long moment as if considering how much truth there is in any of his words. "No, not really." She doesn't elaborate but she does reach to try to take the mitt out of his hand. "I'll take that one if you don't want it," and obviously she assumes he doesn't. "Would you mind helping me carry things to my weyr?" Nevermind that they could probably use the wheeled cart as long as they returned it. It's an invitation. Ka'ge pulls the mitt just far enough that her reach may miss, but if she continues to watch his expression, the light grin that's created lines there admits to the playfulness of it. That 'just being difficult' that he's so good at. But then he brings it back in front of her where it could be easily taken. "I'm a little busy today," He starts, but adds without the length of time he'd usually leave that hanging, "but I can manage a little time." And being that helpful isn't usually his forte, it's clear the invitation isn't missed. He looks back at the cart she'd been using to see what all she's claimed thus far, which brings him in his turn just a little closer to her, quite nearly brushing against her. "Are you looking for anything else?" There's a nervous sort of energy to Dee that wasn't there before as she takes the mitt after the original miss. "Just this. I can come back later for anything I've forgotten," or decided isn't as important. "Thank you for your help, Mariella," she says as she turns to step back toward the stores assistant and offers the mitt so she can log it. There's a few more words exchanged as Dee leans to collect the coiled rugs, plates and other small items in a small crate (a bottle opener and other odds and ends). She carefully balances. It's an armload, to be sure, one that will be made easier by being split between the two of them and she waits for Ka'ge to step near enough for her to give him some part of it to add to his own load of pillows. Ka'ge sets the pillows back on a shelf in the same motion that takes him forwards some steps to join her, one arm already under the crate to take it from her, the other reaching for whatever rugs she's willing to relinquish. Those pillows will be here when he's back, or they won't be. They don't seem to cause him any considerable concern when there's clearly something more important to be done. Or, perhaps more accurately, to get to. It's not so much nervous energy that adds to his mostly silent movement, but rather a type of intensity that's hard to place. The way he watches her is difficult to ignore, even likely from the assistant bystander. There's a faint nod at Mariella after Dee's dismissal of her, though he expects her to at least see them out and he's already turned for the doorway, paused only to allow Dee her exit first. "I can even help decorate." is a joke, clearly, by the wry clip he leaves that as. "A little touch of pink, maybe. A few bows." Dee's look is briefly horrified in answer to Ka'ge joke and it causes her to duck her head, tucking those remaining items she's carrying close to her chest to hurry out toward the bowl, with the assistant trailing until they've left her area of care. Dee doesn't slow once they've surpassed her limit, but rather picks up her pace as if she can hope to keep some strides between them and make explanation or conversation unnecessary until they've ascended to the junior ledges, the lowest of which she angles toward and then stops short to whirl back at him. "I haven't settled in," is a blurt, but an important blurt, the way she gives emphasis to it. The weyrling bronzerider's strides are long enough that he would be able to keep up with her pace if his wasn't 'naturally' so calmly gaited. Being some paces behind seems fine, so long as he doesn't lose sight of her, and when she stops short, Ka'ge pauses a couple of feet back. When whatever he was expecting at that sudden turn doesn't come, he allows a small nod again, an easy grin to touch his lips as he speaks, "That's why I'm here." Seems the correct response even if not the real reason. His brows raise as he tips his head forwards, suggesting for her to go on ahead. "Even if all your underclothes are spread all over the floor for matching purposes, I promise I won't mind." His own emphasis is laid on that one, noting he'd not only not mind, but enjoy. Dee's cheeks touch with a blush which might be as much for the ledge and rooms behind as for his implication. "Perhaps you ought not come in after all, I wouldn't want you to be disappointed by what you're not going to see." The girl articulates the words clearly, a single brow rising as if to ask if he's taken her meaning. "I'm just your make-shift cart, remember?" Ka'ge lifts the crate and rolled rugs burdening his arms a couple of inches and then relaxes into the weight again as if to point out the obvious. "You can kick me out after I make the delivery if you don't want me to see the other side of the door." His implication follows the meaning of her own warning, but she hasn't deterred him from at least getting to her weyr. If only to do what she asked. "Carts don't talk about my underclothes," Dee points out with a roll of her eyes, but his words are enough to have her turning resolutely to head up the stairs to that first ledge that is Taeliyth's, though it's presently unoccupied. What's certain is that it's not Eliyaveith's so by process of elimination it's easy enough to confirm. Taeliyth's Ledge, Fort Weyr The first off the steps that lead up to two of Fort's junior queen weyrs, this ledge is quite round in shape and likely to be cast in shadow for at least half the day, thanks to the Weyrleaders' complex to the right and the higher junior queen ledge to the left. Its surface has been worn smooth and level, and bears few nicks and slices into the rock, making it a comfortable spot for both dragon and human to settle. There's room enough for a queen and good-sized bronze, but not much more. The mouth to the weyr proper dominates the space, lending some protection from the elements. Dee's Weyr, Fort Weyr The first room of the weyr, its walls washed with cream paint, is vaguely triangular in shape, with the generous dragon's wallow carved into a deep curve towards the right. The rest of the room appears to have been left as a living or reception room, a stone table abandoned to the far left, with four varnished, wooden chairs of simple taste sitting around it. There are hooks in the walls for glowbaskets, the empty baskets themselves sat on the table. Abandoned on the floor lie a series of wooden boxes, all empty, but potentially of use as temporary furniture or firewood. A wide, doorless entryway at the northmost point of the triangle leads through to the rider's private quarters - an oval-shaped room a third of the size of the last. Within, the hearth is small, but finely-decorated with ceramic tiles, with even a woven brass safety screen left behind. The double bed lies in the left-hand portion of the room, made up with pink linens. A knitted throw, in a rainbow of colours, lies at the bottom of the bed, and could just as easily be used for a couch. In the middle of the far wall, another unprotected archway heralds the existence of another room: a small bathing room, complete with pool, basin and shelves, the last of which are sadly empty. She moves along the well worn ledge with its scratches and nicks and into the the first room of the weyr, staying to the part of the vague triangle that is meant for human use. There's some clutter that must be what it looks like for Dee to be moving in as the space is sparsely furnished otherwise and impersonal with its cream paint. "You can set those anywhere." It'll be a search to find anything she wants in here for some time to come. Dee shoots a glance toward the open doorway that leads to the rest, but then turns toward Ka'ge. "Thank you for helping me." It seems the best opening line she can come up with now that they're alone and in true privacy. A breathy chuckle follows behind her, quiet, controlled and brief as his brand of laughter almost always is. Ka'ge keeps to that same 'safe' distance behind her that she'd created on their trek across the bowl even if she doesn't move with the same swiftness. He doesn't go far from the entranceway as he sets down the items, placing them only a few feet from the it if off to the side against the wall to not be a tripping hazard. The fact that when he straightens he doesn't linger there may be of far more importance than where he puts her newly collected items. By the time she turns towards him, he's already closed the distance between them with that eerie quietness he seems to be able to move with. The last couple of feet are only taken when she's addressing him and his eyes can meet hers. "I still probably," the latter word is elongated in emphasis as his tone drops to something close to a whisper, "won't help you pull sticks from the mud." The day they met, that aftermath of the storm that brought her here in the first place. He reaches his gloved hand up to tuck a couple of strands of her dark hair back behind her ear, his focus shifting towards it. Dee's head shifts first in reaction to his proximity, her neck straightening just a touch, and her chin tilting as eyes flutter her surprise, despite the fact that she watches him close the last couple feet. His proximity doesn't seem to help her remember to put down the rug and other odds and ends she carries in the hug of her arms. She doesn't move away from the tuck his fingers manage with her hair. "If I had a really good reason, I think you would," Dee observes with only the smallest quaver in her voice betraying more than the hitch in her breath and the tenseness of her frame has already. "I should put these things down," she adds, a slight shift to the items in her arms drawing attention to him. Probably, in this moment, she thinks this is a good excuse to reduce their proximity and if not stopped she'll do just that. Of course, she's probably not thinking ahead to once they're out of her arms and she has fewer excuses. The back of his finger slips from behind her ear to slowly, lightly slide down the side of her neck. The edges of his lips twitch at her reply, amused but not outright disagreeing to that observation. Before that touch of his can reach farther than her shoulder, if she allowed it to get so far, both hands relinquish their barely controlled restraint to start to take some of the household items from her grasp. "I think you should too." Ka'ge replies eventually after he'd already started to help her do so, though less as an assistance to her excuse to escape, more because those things are clearly in the way. Dee's eyes drop to the items he's taking from her, perhaps seeing her error in that moment. She looks back up at him, but she doesn't try to hold onto the things. She lets him take them, as she looks at his face beneath his hood. "What do you think is going to happen here?" She asks quietly a moment later, eyes searching his expression. Ka'ge sets item by item in slow but deliberate succession on the table until there's nothing inanimate left to block him. He considers her words, but he acts before he speaks, turning back to her with a more smoldering and mischievous grin than before. His eyes drop from her gaze to her lips and back, the tension of the moment getting minutely relieved by a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Do you realize how long it's been since I've kissed you?" The words are ended with that semblance of a chuckle, though nothing about it is really funny, and his head shakes slowly as he moves to remove the remainder of the space between them. "Since before the hatching," Dee's answer comes quickly enough that he must not be the only one who's noticed, and yet, she's also stepping back from him. "It's been more than a month since we've actually talked," not counting the times where their duties make such things necessary. "Just because it's been longer since we kissed, does that mean that's where we should start?" Isn't talking more important? Ka'ge takes a breath, holds it for a second, and then exhales deeply. Those blue green eyes of his study her hazel ones for a moment as she steps back. The hand that was already partially risen to reach for her, goes instead to the peak of his hood to tug on it. Smooth, of course. "Sure." Comes a little more sharp than he means, a result of the built energy being uncomfortably paused. But he does at least surrender the pressure he's put on her, turning away to instead look around the room. To what is, and isn't, furnished. He begins to walk away in a circle around the perimeter, shoving his hands into his pockets after the fussing with his hood is done to satisfaction. "I've heard about," everything, "your meeting, that kid." Although the last is said so blandly, it's carefully not dismissive, not when said to her. "I've been watching you." Is admitted, probably because at this point it's likely not as creepy as it was originally, "But how have you been?" There's an edge to that, as if it's hard to say or has a second meaning, and he doesn't look back at her as he asks it. "Szarit," names 'that kid' in a sharp tone of correction. Dee's look is hard, to match, should he look. Even if he's not being dismissive, Szarit has a name, one that's important to her. "When I'm Weyrwoman I'm going to get him out of the mines and hope it isn't too late to make up for the damage." A pause. "If he's in the mines." She glances toward the door, a flicker of uncertainty there. "If I can find him." It's a hope that is dimmer now that Lilah is gone, to be sure, but then, if Lilah weren't gone, Dee would never have cause to say so soberly 'when I'm Weyrwoman'. It's another breath before she says, "I am so many things that I don't know how I am. I am, if that's something." Existing, getting through everything that has her pulled in so many directions at once. "How are you?" "We can find him. If that's what you want." Ka'ge eventually ends by sitting on the edge of the table, staring at his gloves and picking at each in turn. It's not a now statement, but what it does provide is a strange feeling of certainty that he can even ensure such a thing. And that's all that's given to the boy wrongfully accused, as if it's part of daily course. "If it helps," which it won't, and his growing smirks denotes it, "you're still as difficult as the old Dee." Only a brief glance is awarded upwards at that playful, ruffling notion. "Me?" Given he so rarely asks how others are, it's rarer to get the question in return. After some consideration of all the things he would like to tell her, the grand sum of all his thoughts comes to, "I'm fine." "Really?" Dee's question is accompanied by a dubious expression as he answers that way. She moves toward him, reaching up to divest him of at least one article of clothing - his hood - to let it settle on his shoulders, if he'll allow it. Her hands stay curled in the fabric as she faces him, near but not touching him with the rest of her body as she pointedly searches his expression with those too-knowing eyes. The rest is set aside in just this moment. Ka'ge closes his eyes as she removes his hood, something about it always unsettling, unmasking. But he allows it, because it's Dee. When he opens his eyes again, he watches her carefully but not as intensely as before. The idle motions with his hands continue; each hand in turn picking at the frayed edges of the opposite glove. "The value and reach of your resources," And he emphasizes 'your' plainly enough, "Will only grow more extensive. And I have my own, Zymadiath being not the least of it. Finding a person, unless she sent him into the middle of nowhere to live with felines and wherries, is possible." Not easy, that is, but possible. "It won't be for awhile yet and may not provide everything you want out of it." That being, the feeling part. The look she gives him is a touch disbelieving, but that's probably because she's shaking her head in the next moment and giving a little tug on the fabric knotted in her fingers. Dee's eyes search again as she corrects, "No. Are you really fine?" Ka'ge is compliant to the tug, though eventually he does lift a hand to test if she'd allow him to place it over hers. And, if accepted, to intertwine his fingers in her own and the fabric wrinkles there. The seriousness of his expression lingers towards that dark edge that he gets when he's being a little more honest with her, but he forces the edge of a grin to cast off some of the weight there, "I haven't been through as much as you have." is, as usual, not an answer, but even if the rest of him is stoic, his eyes do have a tiredness about them that's admittance of something to her. "Have you heard from anyone from Southern?" It's a little harder to go through her belongings these days. Dee does allow the hand and even curls her fingers willingly with his instead of the fabric. She studies his face, his edge of a grin, his eyes. "That wasn't my question." She noticed and this time she doesn't seem inclined to let him get away with such a non-answer. It is perhaps why she acts like she didn't hear his second question, "Are you hungry?" The shake of his head is present but shortened given their hands at the side of his neck, "Not for food." Is both pressure-less suggestion and has a fleck of humor to it that shouldn't be there. Ka'ge is close to ignoring her statement as would be expected of him, but his gaze drops to his lap as he offers something a little more, "I've had a little more pressure in the past couple of months." Beyond the weyrlingmasters, that seems to mean, "I've just been a little on edge is all." Even though his reasoning doesn't match his statement, the way his voice drops and his free hand smooths over the wrinkles of his pants over his thigh as he says it at least likely means he's not lying. "And the weyr is great, just-" His jaw sets as he tries to figure out a word, to figure out how he feels and actually say it, "Different." He finally gives up searching and uses a word that isn't quite what he's going for, but good enough. There's something a little disappointed in Dee's look when Ka'ge says he isn't hungry but the look seems unrelated to her soft sigh and the slight easing of the tension of her frame. "Mine is big and lonely and it has pink sheets." It's a confession of a secret that touches her cheeks with a blush, that only worsens when she adds, "and they're really, really soft so even when I tried to replace them with the green ones I got from the stores, I had to put the pink ones back on before the night was through because they were just-- so much nicer." It's a rapid confession even. Pink. Does he understand? The talk of big and lonely and then referring to bedding has Ka'ge narrowing his eyes at Dee, his grin renewed barely held back from laughter at the subject. He raises his free hand to brush a gloved thumb over one of her reddened cheeks for a brief touch. "You make me want to try to them out." He starts, wry in his tone. Even he has a hard time staying serious with that comment, "Pink and all." He clears his throat, glancing away and towards her new sleeping area before he can laugh at it outright, "Comfort trumps color, aye? We can find green everything else to balance it out, or if it starts to rub off on you we can find some... ah.." He wiggles his fingers off to the side, trying to remember the name of the fabric that goes so well with pink and fru-fru, "That girly fabric, the stuff that's all light and has a bunch of holes in it." Lace, he means. "Oh, no," Dee sounds wholly serious. "My mother gave me a lace fan once and it was torn to shreds by the brambles I dragged it through while I was out playing with Jem and the boys." No lace for Dee. "My habits and temper haven't improved since then," so she'd probably just end up with shredded lace if they tried. "And you can try the sheets when you come to prowl through my things," Dee says it matter-of-factly as if that's only to be expected now and perhaps it says something about why she says the rest: "We're not sleeping together, Kael." At least she delivers the words gently? The story ultimately gets an approving sort of shake of his head. If he expected anything else, he couldn't say he knew anything about her, right? "Your lifemate makes it a little more difficult to get to your things." Ka'ge pulls her hand from the folds of his hood as he admits that, still with his fingers intertwined with hers. Her fingers are pressed to his lips in a brush of a kiss, and a second one on a different finger. His bright eyes, made brighter by his shaggy black hair needing of a trim and dull attire are angled up at her, with his head is tilted down to her hand even as her statement comes. "There doesn't have to be sleeping involved." The touch of sarcasm is added to his otherwise mock-pleading sentiment. "Kael," Dee exhales his name, both exasperated and a little wistful. Perhaps Dee would like to simply give herself over to the easy route, to go through the open doorway and introduce him to her pink sheets, but that's not what she does now. "Sex is different now." Her sigh melds with some noise that's more frustration than not. "Before, when I was just Dee, apprentice farmcrafter from Southern Weyr, sex was just sex. It was something people do when there's a gold flight or something one needs distraction from or as an experiment or-- whatever. It didn't matter who I fucked because I was just a girl and they were just a guy." She shifts, seeking to reclaim her fingers. "Now I'm not just Dee. I'm Dahlia, one-day Weyrwoman to Taeliyth of Fort Weyr." She gives him a long look before she adds sadly, "And you're Ka'ge, Zymadiath's rider who dreams of leading my Weyr." She stumbles over the possessive but she doesn't take it back. Does he see the difference? Ka'ge unfocuses from her eyes to look at her hand as he brings it a few inches down from his face. A thoughtful thing, a contemplation of her words. His thumb strokes over the back of her hand, the dulled sensation created by the glove symbolic in its own right. "I'm not ignorant of your position, Dee. But whether this is now or when we were in the laundry cavern, I feel no different." He settles their joined hands in his lap where his other can hold hers as well. "We aren't deciding the fate of any Weyr right now. There's still time before that weight is on your shoulders." He sighs, his word choice careful, but still with a tinge of discomfort with them, "You know you can still have things for just you. Not a whole lot of them, maybe, but a couple." "No different?" Dee asks, brows rising in a way that suggests she doubts that. "How can you feel no different when there's six months and two lifemates between then and now? I feel different. I am different." She flicks her eyes down to their joined hand, frustration coloring her face. "We never really knew each other and I felt differently about you than any other man," she pauses to chew her lower lip a moment, "I still don't know you and now I don't know what I feel because it's been so long since I've been allowed to feel anything like that." She turns her eyes back up to Ka'ge face, seeking understanding. Ka'ge squeezes that hand of hers as she speaks, lightly but in response to her growing frustration. "But I know that look." His other hand lifts to touch a finger under her chin as she bites her lip. "I know what you've done for people, what kind of character that shows." Not to mention personal letters, thoughts that she's shared not meant for his eyes, "You really think I need to know exactly what texture and color of bed sheets you prefer or how often you played dressup with your mother's things to like you?" There's enough of a hint of a smile that attempts at a playfulness at that, but then seriousness resets, if a little lighter, "I didn't say things, circumstances, people..." he motions idly in an 'et cetera' type wave, "Hadn't changed. I said my feelings hadn't. I spent a long time trying to convince myself to stay away from you, and you'd have thought all the leadership doing their damnedest to make that happen would have helped. But I failed, they failed. And now..." Now, he's here, and he lets his words trail off in that effect. Dee sighs, rocking back on her heels but not seeking to remove her hands from his. She rocks back forward and then back again. "But maybe I need to know more of you. Maybe I need to know you better to know that your feelings-- and this--" the hand holding and so on, "and anything we might do about our feelings," our, "has more to do with us than the knots we might or might not wear someday." She stills abruptly with the seriousness of her next question, "Do you like me enough to let me get to know you before I take you to my bed?" There's a beat, "Or is it really just-- my bed that holds the appeal for you?" That she can be that uncertain speaks volumes for the way the whole series of events since before Impression have warped her perceptions of the world. Something about the young man wilts a little at her words, and he studies her expression for some long period of time as, and even after, she speaks. "Would you believe me if I said I can't tell you about myself? And," That word is stressed, "that not being able to means nothing for how I perceive you- us- whatever." He clips the end of his sentence, not meaning to use such a word but it slips in his own frustration even if he maintains a gentleness to his otherwise rough self. Ka'ge releases the grip he'd had on her hand, but doesn't fully let go. Not yet, anyway. "Can't?" Dee doesn't understand. That much is plain on her face. She doesn't immediately move away, but the possibility of it is there in the tension of her frame. This is the moment she's giving him to help her understand. "Would you be able to accept not knowing everything?" Or, much at all. Ka'ge clarifies only with that question. While his expression is unreadable, a lot seems to hang from that simple thought that is not so simple. Dee sighs, stepping back, letting her hands slip from his. "No, Kael. I can't." The energy that had held nervous excitement now holds weariness and disappointment that goes far deeper than the surface feelings. Still, she leans forward in a quick motion, seeking to brush a kiss lightly to his lips before truly stepping back and away. That might have been goodbye? Kael allows the kiss, and as she steps back, he slips from his perch on the table to follow her. It's a quick motion that he makes to take her into both of his arms. Unsettlingly quick. One hand to fall behind her neck, the other around her back. He presses a kiss into her lips, his eyes closed. There's a ferocity to it that speaks volumes of the waiting and ultimately the unfairness. It wouldn't matter if she struggles, this being one of those times he's shown that strength of his in holding her there. Fierce but with a rigid control that makes at least the kiss a gentle thing. He doesn't hold it that long, doesn't restrain her for so long that she'd have to call Taeliyth, eventually releasing her all at once. Once closed eyes don't look at her again even as they open to look very specifically at the floor, lines creasing his face into something of anger, in the few steps he starts to take back. Dee is still lousy at self-defense. It goes more than the moves that she did eventually learn, it's that she lacks the innate sense of self-preservation that so many naturally have. She must have it somewhere, but perhaps the line that needs to be crossed for it to truly kick in has never been broached let alone crossed. She does struggle in her surprise, but it's a feeble wriggle against him before she surrenders to the kiss. In the kiss is easily revealed the fact that he's not the only one who's waited and regrets the unfairness of it all. Still, she keeps herself from reaching for him as he steps back. "Why can't you share yourself with me, Kael?" She can't help asking, though before the kiss she had probably resolved not to ask, not to hope for some reasonable answer with which she could attempt to convince herself that it was somehow okay. Anger is ugly on him when he's not covered by his shadows, and often even when he is, and it isn't even cleaned from him when she shares at least some of that moment. As she asks her question there's a glance over his shoulder towards the entranceway. It's a futile thing, but a motion intended to speak of privacy not being so private. "I can't answer that question." It should make even less sense than the rest of what he's said. He's hands lift to his neck to hook his fingers into the folds of his hood, with intention to pull it back over his messy hair. "What's your favorite color?" Dee's blurted question comes as she steps toward him, one hand unconsciously seeking his shirt to try to find a grip there. His hands pause in replacing his hood, his shield. He'd fallen so far into himself, the question catches him off-guard. Blue-green eyes stay averted, and his whole form just sort of stills, allowing her purchase on his shirt easily enough. After a few moments, Ka'ge's careful voice states, "Silver." The answer makes Dee exhale a breath that is something close to relief. She steps the rest of the way forward to knot her other hand similarly, looking up at him. "Do you like to play cards? For fun?" Ka'ge releases the folds of his hood slowly, lowering his arms. But he is still stiff, his muscles rigid as if on guard. "Rasaid was going to teach us during candidacy, but between Ead and me, I don't think he appreciated the loose thoughts on game rules." "You cheat," Dee gathers, her smile turning a touch affectionate. She leans her weight forward so her frame touches to his. Tilting her head, she presses a kiss to his jaw, a light chaste thing, but a thing. "Have you ever been on a date?" The clarification of his methods in the appropriate word softens the strictness and dangerousness of his face, or at least starts to. There's a slight step back as if uncertain as to what she means to do by leaning her weight into him, but then he's stilled to accept her efforts. His arms don't yet move to hold her, however. Ka'ge tips his head down to watch her after the light kiss. "No." A stark word, followed by a somehow disgusted twitch of his lips, "I was taught what to do with a girl." The wording is specific enough to allude to what he really means, "But not for any long-term thing." He takes a breath, a long drawn sigh after, "With the mess I've made trying to chase after you, that much should be obvious." "Taught?" Dee seems a little puzzled by the choice of words, or perhaps not sure how to understand what he means. She releases his shirt and seeks one of his hands with both of hers. "Would you like to go on a date sometime?" It's followed by: "Do you have anywhere you need to be tonight?" "Remember how sex was just sex for you?" Ka'ge asks, but doesn't seem to really expect a reply as he continues, "My family," there's a weird hesitation to that word, "expected me not to see anything as a relationship. You just do what is required." A brow is raised at her invitation, betraying his confusion at the switch. But instead of a direct answer, his fingers curl around her hands that clasp his own, "Not unless you can tell me that you will accept not knowing." "I'm not asking you to tell me everything," Dee answers quietly. "I'm not even asking you to tell me most things. But I can't know nothing." The girl shifts her hand with the intention of pulling off his glove. "Start small. Favorite color. What you like to do in your free time. Your favorite foods." She gives examples. "Many relationships in a weyr are that way," and that doesn't seem to bother her. "If you were someone other than you, I probably could see it that way," in so much as Dee is capable of seeing things that way with anyone. "Can we compromise? Take things slow on all fronts?" She bargains. (Shouldn't he know not to bargain with her by now?) "You know more than you think do." There's a slight grin that starts to creep up on him, and he sighs as he straightens, his free hand shift to wrap around her lower back if she remains as close as she'd been. Most of that seems to be unspoken agreement to some degree, except his gaze travels towards her sleeping chambers before looking back down at her, a mock-pained expression painting him, "On all fronts?" "Yes." On all fronts. Dee isn't budging. She does finish with the glove and set it on the table behind him, leaning against him all the more to do so. Then she's seeking his other hand. "Hugging, for example, would be allowed. Kissing, within reason. Then the more we get to know each other, the more things we could do." She pauses, her cheeks suddenly flushed. "Since I haven't had much experience outside of just wanting to lose myself in whatever was quick and easy, someone told me I should experiment with someone my age that meant something to me. It seems like a good opportunity." Doesn't it? Doesn't Dee make it all sound so good? Ka'ge balls his gloveless hand into a fist and relaxes it in single stretching motions a few times, as if he's gloveless so rarely that the sensation feels strange. As she seeks his other hand, he does comply to let her have it, even though it means not holding her with that arm anymore. "Some might say almost a full turn of knowing someone is taking it slow." Is his argument that's given little weight, seeming more an observation than anything. He stops staring at his bare hand long enough to reach for her, touching the side of her neck and then along the base of her hair at her nape. His expression seems oddly serious again, a concentration on her and that touch that's not really paying attention to this compromise. Dee's eyes close as skin touches skin. She slows but doesn't stop her gentle tug to remove the other glove. "Some might also say that almost a full turn where there've only been stolen glances and clandestine kisses isn't nearly long enough." Those people would probably also say Dee and Ka'ge should be handfasted before there's any more kissing, but that's not the point. The brunette leans again to put the other glove down. "So, knowing that we're not going to do more than kissing," it's important to say that much aloud again, "do you want to come in and talk?" Dee's not playing fair though, because a hand moves to trace fingertips up the back of his neck and to tangle into his hair. The weyrling bronzerider's eyes close briefly as well as her fingertips slip into his hair, his hand once free of the other glove returning to her lower back. "Yes." Is the breathy answer to a selected portion of whatever she says. 'Whatever' being the key to that response. When he looks at her again, he's leaning into her, the pressure of his hold increased enough to be more of an embrace than just a touch. He seeks to kiss her again, and hold it this time for much longer this time if allowed. Dee slips her free arm around Ka'ge in answer of the hold that is now an embrace. The kiss, too, is not only accepted but encouraged. She tries to keep things tame, but given that she's not known for her tameness, it doesn't really stay that way. Still, she eventually pulls back from him, breathless. "Come on," she encourages, shifting her weight as if to break away from him to lead him through the open doorway. Ka'ge doesn't have to be told twice, but is that really such a surprise? As she pulls back from the kiss, he's already trying to kiss her again, but is redirected towards her sleeping quarters. He matches her pace into the room and continues forwards until he may sit on the bed, pink as it might be. He'd not let go of her in the effort, and would seek to pull her with him, biding with a patience that doesn't want to be present at all. Dee pulls away as he moves to sit on the bed, kept by one hand, but stretched at the length of her arm to give him a vexed look. "No." Is that clear enough? "Talking," she adds, pointing to where a certainly secondhand loveseat angled near the fireplace but not so much in front that the heat from the flames that aren't there now will be impeded from reaching the rest of the room. "I'll trade you a kiss for every question," she barters, manner determined. Brow furrows at first in concern enough that perhaps she's changing her mind, studying her expression- less so her actual words- before following her pointing and observing the seat she actually intended. Ka'ge rocks himself forward to stand after releasing her hand. As he walks, he rubs his face and the stubble that roughens it. He reseats himself on the loveseat with an almost dramatic fall back into it and a defeated-appearing semi-grin as he leans over his knees to look at her in this now 'ready for questions' poise of his. "Are there bonus rounds?" "Maybe," Dee will allow with a delighted smile. She got her way (again), so there's cause for her to be pleased as she moves to settle next to him, leaning down to unlace her boots. "I might even let you ask questions, too." This is more tease than anything since she's rarely declined to answer what he wants to know. "Did you ever kiss a girl just for fun? Just to kiss?" A pause, "Before me, if I count." "You count." Is part of a chuckle as he waits for her to unlace her boots, watching her in a sort of sidelong glance as she does so. "I never really do things for fun, except for you." The wry grin that wins over by the end of his sentence provides that he's intentionally lingering in the suggestive category. Ka'ge sits back against the back of the loveseat, his arm slid behind her to wait for her to sit up after removing her footwear. "Never?" has Dee popping up to give him a surprised look, though only one boot is unlaced so after she's observed his expression for a moment, she leans back down to pull off the boot and see to the other. "Would you? If I asked you to do something fun, for yourself, once a seven, would you?" "It would depend on what it is." Is the safest answer anyone could really give. "I have a lot to do after drills." Now that restrictions and time constraints are lifting enough to be breathable. The confiding he's actually giving her makes him a little less at ease than he was when he first sat down, but given he was expecting it, he manages to keep his expression even. "But if it was- say- with you, I might be able to manage." "It would be what you found fun." Dee answers the first, "And if you don't know what that is, you could experiment until you find it. Just once a seven." It seems such a small thing to ask, doesn't it? Her tone implies it. "It could be with me, sometimes. But I might like to hear about the fun you had without me sometimes, too." She tugs the second boot off before sitting back up. "My brand of fun might not be-" Ka'ge cuts himself off, reconsidering that share. As she sits up, that arm wraps around her to pull her closer. Something has to make this worth it. "I don't really like doing things that don't have a reason. If it was something for you, I could manage, but for my own sake," He shrugs one shoulder as he looks over to her, "I have plenty of things I'd rather do." Dee starts to pull her legs up onto the couch, only to have him wrapping his arm and drawing her near. Her feet find the floor again and she leans into the boy. "So do something that has a reason. I have fun working in the garden. That has a reason, but it's fun for me." Evidently, she won't be put off so easily. "You just have to get creative." She insists with a smile for him. Without forcing a commitment, she simply asks, "Think about it," before leaning to press her lips to his - one question, one kiss; this one is brief. "When's your turnday?" Ka'ge listens, but shows no particular reaction to her suggestions. He becomes lost in a thought, brought back by the brief kiss that has him blink at her, but this time much more easily controlling his excitement. He lays his head back on the couch's backrest afterwards. It actually takes him some time to remember, but eventually, "Day 13 of Month 13." He leaves out the turn, but he does hold a faint smirk for the date itself. "When's yours?" "Soon," Dee answers, with a clarification of, "day 17 of month 9." She leans forward as though she's going to seek his lips again for a kiss, but she pauses just shy, her upper body pressed at an odd angle against his, her lips so close when she offers and asks, "I'll be eighteen. How old will you be?" He keeps his eyes closed, mostly because he knew that question was coming. And for all that he said- not promised- that he wouldn't lie to her, his easily provided answer becomes, "Nineteen." Only after does he seem to react to her leaning, his other arm joining his first around her to pull her closer, that being almost on him versus beside him. Ka'ge tilts his head back down to meet her lips, to claim what he determined was earned, but much less brief this time. Much less a peck unless she pushes him away- which he would give, this time. But if allowed, there's more feeling in this one, if at least almost absent of the earlier greedy energy. Of course, Dee doesn't know the difference between the truth and lie so being taken in his arm and pulled close for that kiss-- that kiss that sees her slipping into his lap somewhere along the way-- isn't hindered by any petty things like the lie he can never take back. "My lips are going to be chapped," she tells him as she pulls back, a broad smile for it and not the least apologetic. "You ask something," she insists then, shifting her position in his lap so that instead of sitting with her legs crosswise, she can be straddling his thighs more comfortably, arms moving automatically to curl around his neck and cross at the wrists behind it. Ka'ge's hands may stray lower than perfectly appropriate for simply holding her in his lap. "I can kiss you elsewhere if you'd prefer." He didn't miss her smile, but he also didn't miss the opportunity for such a comment. "Fine." He lays his head back again so he can look up into her eyes, making the choice of a question seem like a very difficult one. There's so many things he could ask- her favorite food, her favorite flower, the list could go on and on. Instead, "Are you ticklish?" "No, I have a brother," Dee answers ruefully. "Brothers," she advises, "use up one's lifelong quota for tickling by the time one is four." The fact that she answers his question before his comment might be confusing, but she trusts him to figure it out. "You could kiss me on my neck, on my cheek, on my forehead, on my hands..." She makes the suggestions carry humor even as her hands move from his neck to seek his hands to distract them from inappropriate placement when she kisses him again. Ka'ge lets her have one of his hands, but he slips the other down again and traces down her thigh, attempting to stay out of her reach. Apparently he isn't too bad at multitasking as he presses into her kiss when she offers such to him again. "There's a lot of places I could kiss you." He doesn't seem to care that it breaks the rules, but the grin present as he withdraws is still calm. "I wouldn't know." He offers another fact about himself, without a question to prompt it, "I had a little brother, but he died young. Not old enough to get to know or anything." His casualness about death is pronounced in that, and not keen enough to think such a thought might have a chance to kill a mood. It doesn't exactly kills the mood, but Dee does sit back and give him a very sad look. "I'm--" but she doesn't seem to know what to say exactly, so instead she just shifts so she can lay her head against his shoulder, her arms curling around her middle as she leans on him, breath able to be felt against his neck. She stays like that some moments. Enough moments that Ka'ge might get the feeling it's his turn for asking a question. Ka'ge doesn't seem to catch or, more likely, understand the look. Sympathy, a concept lost on him. As she adjusts to lay against him, the hand that had been tracing her leg lifts to rub the back of her neck, intermittently stroking through her hairline just above. "Is there anything you've wanted more than anything? A necklace, a dress. A trip somewhere?" He takes his time in speaking, maybe also missing the cues for him to ask something in the first place. "I guess, besides back home." "For myself?" Dee would have to ask, puzzlement in her query when she's able to speak a pair of moments later. She draws up her head to look at him, lashes a little wet, eyes a little bright but no tears present now. "Ye- What? What did I do?" It's probably a direct sign of inexperience that he sits up straighter in his surprise. Ka'ge's brows furrow, the expression appearing at first as much angry as startled. "Nothing," the girl is quick to assure. "I just have a hard time imagining losing a brother," she shrugs. Dee doesn't seem inclined to linger on the topic though. "I suppose I've begun to want things for myself now that it feels like there's so many things I'll never be able to have for myself." She lets her eyes roam across the room behind him. "If you'd asked me that day in the laundry room, I'd've said 'you.'" She manages a smile for him. "I like this," she adds, almost shyly, "talking with you and kissing." Of course, since that was then, the most obvious question follows her answer, "And now?" "And I already told you about now. We're taking things slow," Dee's smile is bright, just a little impish and just a little apologetic. Still, she chooses this moment to make good on the drought of kisses since the last, taking it long and slow, exploring his kiss and seeing how hers best fits with his. Even if it's not always perfect or pleasant, practice gets them closer, doesn't it? "Did you like the girl you lost your virginity to?" She wonders as she finally pulls enough away to speak. Does it count as slow if his fingers slowly play with the bottom edge of her tunic, threatening to touch the skin beneath? Ka'ge thinks so. He of course allows her to explore his kisses that eagerly return her own, but this time as she takes a moment to speak, he continues on. His eyes closed, his lips touch her chin, slowly brushing down her neck. And when he answers, it's as a whisper against her skin, "No." He continues those sensual kisses a few seconds more before adding without actually drawing away, "She was chosen for me." Dee probably can't help the confused look at what he says, the look managing to surface in spite of the way those kisses have her squirming just enough to be accidentally maddening. Then, she doesn't ask. It's restraint being exercised lest she encroach on one of the many secrets he holds about his past. The restraint translates into a shift away from him, "I need water," which is probably the truth. Ka'ge's mind for words is gone as he falls as low as touching her collarbone, a hand cupping the back of her neck, the feeling of her squirming driving him to continue. Her shift away from him and exclamation almost doesn't work, but after he almost follows after her in that effort, he does finally pull back to look up at her expression to study it. "Dee." The plea escapes him before he can think better of it. It doesn't even occur to him that she'd question his comment, given he thinks so little of explaining himself or talking of his past. And, of course, it's the least of his concerns. Even as the word comes, Dee is forcing herself to turn away, to call, "Water!" meaningfully over her shoulder and head to the small worn chest of drawers that must have been procured from the stores on a previous trip where a pitcher and a glass sits. She fills it, drains it and then fills it again, sipping more slowly as she gives time for her breathing to return to normal. Once it has, she turns back toward the loveseat and moves to sit next to him, back to the meeting of back and arm of the seat, legs drawing up and folding to give her a cushion of personal space before she offers him the glass. "Water?" Ka'ge leans back against the back of the loveseat with a subtle sigh as she goes to get her water, rubbing his face again, rougher, almost enough to make his eyes red. But he'd fail to return to normal where she succeeded. And when she returns to create that personal bubble, he gets up onto his knees on the cushions, steadying himself with one hand on the armrest, the other on the back as he hovers over her in an almost aggressively predatory manner. It's somewhat relieved by the slight grin that takes some of the danger from his face that so easily slides that way, "I'm going to my weyr before I break all your rules in about two more minutes," he says in an almost-whisper, and he leans his head down to peck her forehead. "There's only so much teasing I can take." Playful, that can be considered, and he slides away from her to stand up. "Okay," is reluctant acceptance. "One more kiss goodnight?" Dee queries with an innocent hope, though she very purposefully doesn't move, as she hadn't through his movement, save to draw the water glass closer so it was less likely to spill. "Next one's on my terms." Ka'ge sounds a little more like himself as he creates that rule and its implied mystery of what it means. It even has a wink added to it before he's walking away from her. The first to signal the quick, flipped-switch-like change is his hood being immediately pulled over his head as he passes through the entranceway back into the main room of the weyr. He stops for a moment at her stone table to take his gloves and pull them back on. Dee is a figure in that wide doorway that leads one room to the next, but pressed gently to the frame as she watches him don his gloves. "Kael?" She calls his name quietly. Her eyes seek his but whether she finds them or not, she goes on to say: "Thank you. For everything, and most of all for respecting my boundaries." She pauses, a little smile stealing onto her lips. "They're hard to hold to." For her. There's a lick of over-dry lips and then an offered, "I'll dream of you," that is revealing enough that Dee is vanishing back into the privacy of her sleeping chamber before her face can reveal too much. Kael turns enough that the edge of his hood just barely keeps his face a secret when she calls him before he can leave. There's a tilt of that head, a nod, but no more words and no expression to see to denote how he feels about that. And with his overly quiet steps, he departs the junior's weyr and associated ledge, back into the bowl with his bronze reliably circling exhaustively above. |
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