Logs:Misfit
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| RL Date: 6 January, 2016 |
| Who: K'zin, Rasavyth |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Vignette |
| What: K'zin's experience with Tundra. |
| Where: High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Month 1-Month 10, Turn 39 |
| Mentions: J'vain/Mentions, Quinlys/Mentions, Telavi/Mentions |
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| He tried. No, he was trying, he reminded himself for not the first time this day, this seven, this month, this turn. Tundra was where he had wanted to be. Smithing. Being useful with the skills he loved to practice. Only... It turned out that K'zin didn't love his craft the way some people loved their crafts. Some people ate crafting, slept crafting, fucked crafting. Okay, well, maybe not those things, but that's how it felt. Every conversation was about crafting. And K'zin wanted to stick his fingers in his ears and walk away. The worst of it was... he missed duties as a regular rider. It wasn't that Tundra never drilled or never did sweeps, but few and far between. Rasavyth was bored. K'zin was bored. And K'zin missed Rasavyth. Privately (privately? ha), he wondered at how bad it must be for him to do that. « Come now, my K'zin, » the bronze purred. (No, no privacy.) « We have loved each other, well and truly, since the day we met. » And hated. « You perhaps, but never truly. Only passionately. » Passion, to Rasavyth, doesn't equal truth. « Face the facts, my dear K'zin. You love me. You miss me and you want to be more with me than you want to be here with these. » These that he insulted without words, not deigning to give them the importance of verbalized slurs. They're good people. « That doesn't matter. » He hated that Rasavyth was right. That doesn't matter. « You don't fit, » he didn't gentle the fact. K'zin wanted to rail, wanted to tell him just how wrong he was. For ten months he had. For ten months he'd told himself he was right to leave Quinlys' team, to abandon her and Tela and J'vain in their time of need. That he'd done it all for reasons. For good reasons. That fitting here and being happy with Tundra would make it all worth it. Ten months. « It's a long time, » the bronze said gently this time. « My K'zin, it is a big man who admits when he's been wrong. » K'zin gritted his teeth. One... Two... Three... I've been wrong. « Was that so difficult? » It was. It really was. « The truth is only difficult when you make it so, » Rasavyth intoned, aggrieved (exaggeratedly) that he even needed to remind the bronzerider. The truth. K'zin sighed. What's the truth? « That you were happier with the weyrlings. Happier with Olveraeth's Quinlys and Solith's Telavi. That you want to return to them, but you don't know how. » K'zin's teeth were going to ache tonight, he knew it. Rasavyth was right ... again. « But I do. » Of course you do, damned beast. « I'll even help you, » he offered generously, « but I want something in return. » Of course you do, monster. « Lovable monster, » Rasavyth was delighted to remind him. What do you want? « I'm bored too. I've been bored. I'm tired of being bored. So I will help you get back into Quinlys' good graces, help you get back your desired position, and you will work with me. You will be my partner, as we were ever meant to be, my K'zin. » That was no small request. « Don't ask-- » Rasavyth let K'zin fill in the blanks. I'll need time to think on it. « Two days. » K'zin ground his teeth. I'm not trying to pull a fast one. « Then two days shouldn't be a problem. » He could feel Rasavyth's smile. Fine. --- He gave in after one. Rasavyth was surprised he took that long and didn't know, truly, if that meant he was still an idiot or somehow had become someone to respect. In the end, it didn't matter. |
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