Logs:Insert Motivational Poster Here
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| RL Date: 14 March, 2013 |
| Who: Brieli, Kaeden |
| Involves: High Reaches Weyr |
| Type: Log |
| What: Rider and candidate discuss big things and small on the eve of the hatching. |
| Where: Records Room, High Reaches Weyr |
| When: Day 28, Month 3, Turn 31 (Interval 10) |
| Weather: Heavy rain in the middle of winter only means that the temperature is only a few degrees above freezing; it's more miserable for the soaking torrents. |
| Mentions: Leova/Mentions |
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| Records Room, High Reaches Weyr Books. Scrolls. Bound hides. Maps. If it's a record pertaining to the Weyr, it's likely to be in this roughly oval room with its floor-to-ceiling cherrywood shelves, its multitude of slots for scrolls, and its wide drawers for materials that shouldn't be rolled up or folded. A scribe is usually on duty at the tall desk up front with its good view of the room, and is able to help visitors find what they're looking for via the big bound index on its rotating stand. Past the desk, several tables stand in neat rows for note-taking, each stocked with glowbaskets, scrap hide, paper and pencils. Additional lighting is provided by a many-armed wrought-iron light fixture, its glows gleaming through luxurious glass containers in fluted shapes instead of baskets. To one side of the room, a gap between two sets of shelves outlines where another set once stood, now replaced by a tapestry-covered aperture. Peeking behind the tapestry reveals another cavern, this one likewise full of shelves, but occupied by only a few boxes of older records and a somewhat musty air of disuse. As well, two narrow but solid doors are locked when the room is unattended and a discreet staircase provides direct access from the Weyrleaders' weyrs.
When one of the candidates enters, it is possibly with that sense of not quite belonging. Kaeden's eyes shift this way and that as he nods to any scribes or the like who like to watch over this corner of the Weyr. He's already been careful to bundle his wet coat and leaves it just outside the room before gradually making his way inside. After a few more looks this way and that, he eventually ends up at Brieli's table and gestures toward one end of it. "Ma'am. Mind if I..." He adds a quick smile, then gestures again, this time with a rolled bit of thin parchment, before he takes his usual vial of ink and writing pen from a back pocket. No one looks at the candidate as if he doesn't belong or should get out, aside from the scribe on duty, who quite possibly looks at just about everyone like that. Brieli certainly doesn't, doesn't even seem to look up, for all she's not all that surprised by Kaeden's approach, rolling up her scroll with quick, careful fingers. "Not at all," she says, at the abbreviated question, with a quick, faint smile. "I'm not sure how much longer I'll be at this anyway." Fine brows arch curiously at the parchment, an unspoken question, for all she's not volunteering what she's up to. And Kaeden wouldn't really be the type to pry, anyway. "Heard about the eggs," he explains quietly as he takes a seat and starts unrolling the parchment. This time he remembered to bring small weights for the corners, at least. "Figured..." What he figured remains unexplained for a few seconds as he stares at the blank page, but soon enough he starts uncapping the ink vial. "Just thought I should send a letter home." He looks over at Brieli long enough to smile, then he slowly goes through the steps of prepping and inking the pen. "You must be pretty busy. If I'm... you know. In the way or distracting or something, just let me know." At which point he gets to work, though for the immediate present, that means he's managed to write the day's date at the top of the sheet. Even if he's not, there's things that Brieli does, even if someone's not looking; she rolls the scrolls, puts them atop books, spines already positioned toward her, away from the room, she covers notes with an easy cross of her arms. It looks like straightening, a casual lean on the table. With something between a smirk and an smile, "Everyone's heard by now. I don't know whether to be excited or hope for it all to be over." She's looking at the top of the sheet then, not Kaeden, but her dark gaze comes up to meet his, head tilting as she regards him. "I wonder, do you know how your family will react one way or the other?" That last question probably hits a little close to home, because Kaeden looks up rather abruptly as Brieli finishes, a look of smothered panic probably in his eyes, even if he's able to keep his expression mostly neutral. It's that tiny uplift of eyebrows, the hint of a furrow between them. "I, uh. I don't." He bites his lower lip briefly, swallows, then tries on a somewhat sickly smile. "Well. I'll see. I think it's okay to be excited and hope it's over. That's kind of how I feel right now, I think. Not in a bad way!" he's quick to add, coming very close to tipping his ink vial as he gestures. Danger is averted, if not a sharp look from that scribe on duty. Kaeden clears his throat lightly and adds a quickly scratched "Dear Mum and Dad," to the the page. Then stops again. "I think it'll be good. When stuff is over. Like... we can all just get on with the real stuff next, you know?" There's a long moment where Brieli continues to regard Kaeden, her expression unchanging, her gaze even. Then, with a shrug that has a very 'who gives a fuck' air to it, "My family told me to never come home again after I impressed Iesaryth. So, think of it this way: anything has to be better than that." She doesn't seem to be joking or exaggerating, her tone flat and serious as she looks down at her nose and closes her folio. Shaking her head a little, perhaps for making the conversation awful again, "There's no bad way to wanting it over with. It's not fun, being out there, for any of us. It's only, what? Maybe half an hour. In an entire lifetime. Certainly there's things to get on to. Certainly for the lot of you." Glancing up, faintly amused, "I'm just petulant." Initial disbelief battles concern, and in the end, it's the latter that remains clear on Kaeden's face. "That's... not..." But he has no words, really, just shakes his head. "Seems pretty crappy of them. I mean, my folks have no use for the Weyrs, but that's just because they're pretty small people in a pretty big world. Not in a bad way, even. They're happy. Just wasn't enough for me. Still isn't." There's some uncomfortable shifting, then he distracts himself while cleaning the nib of the pen. Kaeden gives Brieli a quick glance for the "petulant" comment, his grin small and crooked. "Who am I to argue with a weyrwoman's prerogative?" Wryly, her own expression merely cynical, "It's a long story. There's a lot of history there." Brieli doesn't seem inclined to explain at the moment, but she can note, "History that most people don't share with the Weyrs regardless of how much or little use they have for them in an Interval. I think most people still would see that for their children, regardless. The perspective, though... that's important to have. Too many people here lose it." A pause, before, "Someone could be sent to bring them, if you'd have family here. It's common." She gives Kaeden the chance to shift uncomfortably by glancing off to some comings and goings at the entrance, quirking her lips a touch. "Too used to going where I like when I like. Seeing who I like." There is likely a little more shifting, but Kaeden isn't too obnoxious about it. He nods a few times before setting his pen beside the parchment, and when he looks over at Brieli, it's to find she's looked away. "Isn't that supposed to be one of the perks, though? Of being a dragonrider? I mean, even with being weyrwoman and with the eggs and stuff... Everyone needs to have their personal lives, right? It's not always work and duty." Glancing back, Brieli rests her elbow on the table, chin in hand. "It is, I suppose. But once you spend more time unable to do so, you realize how... reliant on it you are. It's a perk, it's something that I enjoy, seeing new things..." And here, a reminiscent smile. "But it's not something I'd like to take for granted, yes? Iesaryth and I have decided that's one of the benefits, beyond the obvious." As for personal lives, her smile for Kaeden is wry. "Personal is a matter of interpretation. Of course you have the time, the opportunity. How private it all remains..." There's a shrug. "That depends." It's probably clear from his expression that Kaeden doesn't fully understand, but maybe he understands enough of it, because after a pause, he nods once and turns his attention back to the mostly blank page in front of him. I suppose, the... the more important you are," he starts to reply, shifting slightly in his chair as he frowns at the parchment, "the less privacy you have. Just looking at the Blooded and stuff." Then he shrugs and looks up at Brieli again. "Riders always seemed so free to me, but if there's one thing I've learned staying at the Weyr, it's that I didn't really know a sharding thing before I got here." He finishes with a small, one-sided grin. "Do you wish sometimes that you still had the life you did before Iesaryth?" Lightly, "There's that, a certain amount of attention. But, for example, until recently, Fort's bronzes were required to report in to the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman if visiting. And receive permission to land." For very specific example, but Brieli might feel justified in using it. Rubbing a bit of dust off the cover of her folio, she glances across the table to tell the candidate, "It's not common, but it could happen to any dragons, at any Weyr. Just one way that people can know your business." For 'free', there's another ghost of a smile. "I hope you feel that way, if you impress. And my life... was decided long before Iesaryth found me. So no. Nothing else could be more... fitting, I think." There's something satisfied in her tone, but why not, on the day of her first hatching, in the position she's in? Kaeden has gone right back to that lost look. He may have been following at first, and it's possible he looked mildly excited at the bit about bronzes announcing themselves. A familiar rule, maybe. Or at least heard before. When Brieli gets to the part about her life being decided, though, Kaeden's smiles fade again. "That sounds... kind of... uncomfortable," he's finally able to get out, wincing at the end. He reaches up to rub his jawline with the back of his thumb for a moment, dark eyes focused on the parchment again before he looks over at the rider again. "Are you happy?" It's possible Brieli looks a bit apologetic as Kaeden begins to look lost again, sympathetic even. With a sigh, she considers both the statement and the question with the care of someone who thinks over her words, the hesitation of someone who doesn't speak of herself often. "Is it uncomfortable to be where you're from? To do the work you do? To have the goals you have? Some children just... know what they want to do when they grow up. I always knew what I wanted to do." And then, her smile for the candidate is a little sad, just a touch condescending given they're the exact same age. "Is anyone? I have moments of happiness, I suppose. But... I don't expect that." Same age, vastly different histories, and it really shows now as Kaeden crosses his arms on the edge of the table and leans into it, shoulders just slightly hunched. "Until I came here, I was just coasting. Fell into the work I had. Never did much of anything. I knew pretty quickly I wanted to stay here, though." By his pathetic little smile, he probably knows how lame it sounds. "I don't know, ma'am. Happiness is... well. I don't think it's right that someone shouldn't expect it. We kind of all make our own, after all. We're all given... people, things, events in our lives, and we just have to make it work." He sits back again, but he leaves his hands on the edge of the table. "Then again, maybe I just like for people to be happy. Doesn't make it true." Listening thoughtfully, Brieli watches Kaeden lean on the table with more attention to dark eyes and expression than anything. "That seems to be a common story. It's one that I've told," she admits, with a flash of a grin. "I don't see it as a failing, aimlessness. It's a luxury not all of us have. Perspective." She taps a finger on the folio, trying to make a point. As for happiness, the Weyrwoman and her dark little cloud can't just leave that be. "I don't know if I see it as a state, as something that anyone gets to be. We get... a few perfect hours here and there." There's a touch of wistfulness to her tone at that last. "A few days, sometimes. But reality is always there to fuck it all up for you in the end." She grins for that, if wryly, then; "I'm sorry. I should be telling you something about how wonderful weyrlinghood is, or how I was left standing right here and now look at me etcetera." There is one second, maybe as many as two, where a look of unveiled sympathy resides rather strongly in Kaeden's expression. It's not of the lack of encouragement, though, as her last statement quickly turns the candidate's expression into an amused one. "It's all right. If I end up a weyrling, I already know it's going to be a pretty tough haul. And it's okay if I'm left standing, too. I have plans." He's not going to share them right now, apparently, but there's a twinkle in his eyes that might serve to validate the statement. "Maybe the state of happiness is dwelling on those hours and days. I mean, I don't have a whole lot riding on my shoulders right now, but there are still things I wish I could change. Things that could bring me down. But..." He shrugs and looks around the oval-shaped cavern. "I don't know. Maybe it's because not much is on my shoulders. Maybe someday..." he can have a dark cloud, too! It might not be a surprise that Brieli isn't a fan of sympathy, but at least it's not pity, that's worse - she just purses her lips and glances down at her things, tucking her pencil away when she's found something she can actually straighten in lieu of looking up. Lightly, "Everyone thinks they know, and then there's some vital part that's forgotten, or overlooked, somehow. Or concerns come up that you don't expect." Plans always make her curious, but she limits it to a questioning arch of brows as she looks up at Kaeden. "Perhaps. And I suppose everyone has something they'd change. And impossible to read the future, though some of us like to try to plan for eventualities." A pause. "Will you stay, if you don't find what you're looking for today... tonight? Whenever?" "Everyone does know," Kaeden counters, this time full of nothing but amusement, "right up until they're proven wrong." He picks up the abandoned pen, but he ends up just fidgeting with it and eventually recaps his vial of ink. "Yeah, I'd like to stay. Always something for an extra pair of hands, right? Leova mentioned a while back that you don't need to be a dragonrider to learn dragonhealing, so... might go ask her about that more. After. Or anything, really. I like to stay busy. And I want to be a part of the Weyr. But it can probably all wait until after this party I keep hearing about, right?" He must have given up on the letter-writing idea, because he's now removed the paperweights from the corners of the parchment, which has been allowed to curl up again. "Did you decide whether or not you're taking some time off after the hatching?" "Mm. I don't like to commit to anything like that. I don't like to be wrong." Though Brieli does look a touch dismayed as the idea of writing a letter is left off entirely, pulling her folio into her lap. "My apologies. Should I leave you to do that? This will be... about as quiet as it gets anywhere today, I think." Her dark, sharp gaze flickers around the room, the workers who might be more or less killing time till the party as well. Looking back to Kaeden, "Anyone who wants to stay is welcome. And I think Leova and the others would appreciate the help. As for the party... I think it should be good, if you make it. Interesting." As for time off, for some reason that has her a bit awkward, not quite flushing, but it's a near thing. "I think that depends on a few things. Coordinating time can be... difficult." Once again, Kaeden likely doesn't entirely understand what Brieli means with the last statement, but he nods anyway. "No worries about me. I wanted to write 'cause I thought I should, but... I guess they'll show or they won't. They know to look for the dragons." The weights and ink vial are stuffed into a front pocket, then he grabs the pen and parchment as he stands. "I'm starting to think I should eat while I still can. In case stuff happens really soon." The pen is slipped into a back pocket, then Kaeden salutes with the parchment. "Clear skies, Weyrwoman. I hope you're able to find some more moments of happiness soon." Then, because he generally sucks at formality, he turns to leave, pausing just outside the room to grab his jacket, still wet from the weather outside. Brieli obviously isn't terribly comfortable talking about whatever she was getting at there. She twists her mouth a touch as she rises, hesitating before putting the folio on top of the scrolls, etcetera - perhaps about to put them back from whence they came. "Just let them know to send someone when it starts," she tells Kaeden, with a slight smile. "I'm sure they'll come. If nothing else, the food and the booze is worth it." She'd grin, but something about the sincerity of the farewell softens that into another smile, this one brief, over a brisk nod. "Good luck," she offers in return, then heads off into the rows with her dusty books. |
Comments
Azaylia (Dragonshy (talk)) left a comment on Fri, 15 Mar 2013 19:46:10 GMT.
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Good... uh. Good pep talk, there. *laughs* No, it does seems like the sort of thing someone like Kaeden would appreciate.
Kaeden (Kaeden (talk)) left a comment on Fri, 15 Mar 2013 21:34:00 GMT.
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Brieli has a knack for saying things in just the right way to really make Kaed think.
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